All Comments on 'Jordan - His Story'

Sad story. No real upside to waiting . What bad legal advice

it looks like emily thought her career was more important

so much like my ex wife. Thank you for the story. Five stars. Merry Christmas.

It's not that I don't enjoy longer stories, it's reading the same rationalizations on eleven different pages that gets tedious.

1.Wife cheats with lovers.

2.Lawyer advises husband to ignore it and get his own lover.

3.Husband follows lawyer's advice, but ends up hit by bus anyway.

4.Wife eventually returns from lover to help husband recover from accident.

5.Wife leaves for extended European fuck fest with lover and returns pregnant.

6.Husband knocks up his own lover.

7.Husband gleefully accepts literal cuckold baby (honored was the word used).

8.Husband finally tells wife he knows everything, but won't do anything.

9.Emboldened by husband's passive acceptance, wife moves into own condo.

10.Couple divorce (finally!) and he ticks off the standard boxes; gets married to woman who appreciates him, has career and financial success, yada yada yada.

I couldn't even come up with 11 points to summarize the 11 pages. For all the rationalization about the importance of the children, there is zero character development of any of them.

PAPATOAD could have done this story in less than a page.

The head hopping from character to character was so jarring and so badly impacted the flow of the story that I quit. Pick a narrator, stick with that narrator or go third person. This was a long, long fail.

only till page 9 and it is enough. The stupid cuck is just dumb like bread. The cunt of wife is disgusting and by now do not care of the ending. One star.

Try next time.

"I found out that my wife, the same one that told me just this morning that she loved me, might be getting ready to abandon our marriage."

She left it years ago, the moment the whore decided to fuck around.

I'm glad Jordan got a happy ending, but I can't believe any guy could be that reasonable and understanding after what she put him through. His psychotic cunt of a wife turned into a complete slut and even duped him into raising a bastard!

This should have ended with a nuclear BtB!

that was one messed up situation

This is the previous story that stopped shortly after he was hit by a bus. Anonymous had a point. The five first persons style of story telling does not work. We were fed the same shit page after page. The last six pages can be condensed to "they divorced and he married the other woman". A mental health professional discussing her patient with the patient's husband without written consent is a no-no, not to mention telling it the husband's lawyer. Will jumped in and offered nothing. The end was telegraphed at the beginning when we were told about Will's situation. You changed the wife's thought process suddenly and without explanation. Well as suddenly as 6 extra pages will allow. This story was a challenge even for the most experienced skim reader. I felt like Ground Hog Day because it seemed like I was skimming the same page over and over.

no emotions whatsoever, boring dialogue, ridiculous plot.....

Eleven pages of cucky wimpy shit...u say u want constructive criticism only....but that is possible if a writer has any hope of salvaging his story...u have none!!! Even Matt Moreau is preferable to the crap u r dishing us...winter frog...papa toad...can u please teach him to finish the stupid shit in two pages please...or shift to sci to and FANTASY genre

This story is a nightmare for me. Not for me and the wife, but form my son. He makes good money and I can see some soul-less whore dropping a kid just to trap him. Women cant fuck a man physically, so they fuck him mentally. I pray for my son daily. He is swimming in a shark pool.

PS. Emily is the end Frankenstein monster of radical feminism that has infested our society and young women's minds. Think of this. Radical feminism was introduced to our society forty to fifty years ago. That means women up to their sixties have bought in to it and can an Emily. And ask yourself how long a society can last with that kind of female mindset. Have fun sleeping well after that.

For a woman that had no issues walking away from her children, this seems like an inconsistent choice.

I understand wanting to stay together for the kids but when she went away for months and abandoned her family, he should have sent divorce papers to Paris. He was a huge sucker. he is raising Robert's kid and Robert gets no punishment at all.

Could have been a much better story. 3*s

OK. Good premise. Mostly good grammar.

Repeating the same information from different perspectives should be avoided as it adds unnecessarily to the length of the story.

There were so many ways this tale could have gone, but I think that Jordan (who wanted to save his wife from herself) should have insisted that Emily and Robert look after their own kid. That would have put a nice crimp in their activities. And why the fuck didn't Robert's wife ever learn what was going on?

Some of these comments make me think that they have never been in a relationship that did not include money on the dresser. There are many different personality types, both in men and women. Some are completely self centered people, who never even understand that others have value or feelings. Some people are simply not able to create or maintain long term relationships, all of them can be very successful and important people. It can be those very traits that make them successful, and often lead to their downfall. Every strength means a weakness. Emily was the type of person who believes that her work and self actualization are most important, Jordan and Jacq understand that nothing really lasts past your funeral but your children. Emily does not care what lasts beyond her funeral, probably does not imagine that even she will. None of these perspectives are actually mental illness just different ways of viewing their world. What we need to do is understand that people like Emily are incapable of having or valuing relationships like Jordan and Jacq. We also need to accept that the drive that Emily has will make her far more "successful" than Jordan and Jacq which is why people like Emily are in leadership in almost every position of power in the world..

It was long but worth reading.

Hey, it is fiction so no real marriage or children were hurt in the story. No cuckhold real or imagined was created.

It takes courage and strength to put your children first ahead of your ego and fear of public humiliation. This story develops that theme very well and the good guy is a hero and wins in the end. Oh and there was lots of erotic sex. So it was a good read.

Yes wordy and slow. Yes, you mentioned Emily socking money away early on then seemed to forget about it at settlement. But lots of NPD driven divorces

Jordan tolerated her cheating much too long. Emily was a narcissist if ever LW fit that description. Leaving husband and children without a word is cowardice, not love.

This is the kind of stuff they pull, the stunts they pull.

I couldn't get past page 7 no one would stay in that marriage

If you are going to make family law the key to a decision to divorce or not, you need to get it right. I think a lot of authors with cuck tendencies characterize divorce law today as worse than actually it is in order to "justify" the husband acting like a cuck. Here are some egregious errors regarding Texas law (which the author chose for the story):

1. There is NO alimony in Texas. Something called "maintenance" is possible, BUT it is: for a limited time, for a modest amount, and ONLY available under fairly restrictive circumstances. The slut wife plainly wouldn't qualify.

2. Child support basically ends ends at 18 or when the child graduates high school, whichever is later. There are some exceptions for disabled children, emancipation, etc., BUT there is no legal obligation to provide child support through college.

3. Texas is a "no fault" state, BUT fault is taken into consideration in the property division. The slut wife probably wouldn't have gotten 50%.

4. Even if Jordan were not made custodial parent by the court, under the standard custody order he would have the children at least about 30% of the time. The standard custody order is almost always used unless a parent poses a danger to the child (typically drugs and alcohol). Given the facts, Jordan could well get primary custody, especially since the girls would probably incline toward him on the facts of the story.(Yes, a judge would probably take the girls feelings into account at their age. They just wouldn't be as weighty as they would be if they were older). Stories that talk about getting them one weekend a month are rubbish.

So, most of the rationale for Jordan's "cuck-out" has no basis in reality - no alimony or maintenance, limited child support (there is a cap on child support, so at Jordan's income level, the amount of child support is absolutely immaterial to him), unlikely that the slut Emily would get 50% of the assets, and worst case he would have far more time with his children than described in the story. If she were a real lawyer, Margaret would have been sued out of her practice for malpractice long before Jordan talked to her. Moreover, while authors do get to make things up in fiction, you can't write convincing fiction if you are making something real pivotal to the story and the facts are 180 degrees out of line. This part of the story is as bad as writing a story about the Mafia and portraying it as being a Swedish organization.

Jordan is also not a credible character. He isn't overtly developed as a cuck, but he does things no normal man would do. The first is not confronting the slut wife and, instead, living a life of sloppy seconds. Second, no man in his right mind is going to accept Robert's bastard child. For some reason, a lot of LW authors think it's somehow noble to reward a cheating wife by taking responsibility for her bastard. It isn't. It's utterly unjust and rewards adultery. The right result is forcing Robert and the slut wife to take responsibility. Emily's bastard and long absences and long hours are also facts that would contribute toward giving Jordan the role of custodial parent.

Transactional law doesn't get practiced as describe. Documents are drafted and circulated electronically, and the other lawyers send comments to the draftsmen. When the technical comments have been hammered out and if there are remaining substantive matters that the principals can't resolve at a distance, then, and only then, do you have meetings. Such meetings seldom last more than a few days. NO ONE goes to France or any other remote location for two months (I'm not counting the 3 week fuck fest between Robert and Emily) to "negotiate" EVER. Trips are episodic and much shorter.

Emily is obviously such a raging narcissist that it implausible that Jordan and his lawyer wouldn't conclude that Emily will NOT want to be the custodial parent or, if she does and gets it, she'd probably give it up before long.

There is also not the slightest recognition in the story that continuing the marriage with the cheating slut will ultimately adversely affect the girls moral sensibilities. "Mommy got to do it, so it must be ok." Divorcing the slut is actually in the long term best interest of the children. It's always better for children to grow up with their parents, but given the cheating, it's far better long run for the children to see that betraying your family has dire consequences.

I realize that the intention is to portray Jordan as something of a saint who, because of Jacq, ultimately lives happily ever after. In fact, he comes across as a schmuck and the premises of the story are sufficiently flawed to render it risible.

And I very much doubt that this comment will not be deleted.

Fantastic story really did enjoy reading this story the only point was where you trying to prove a point by messing with this story that you had started weeks ago then decide to plonk it all into 11 pages not sure what you were up to anyway was a fantastic story really enjoyed it bit shame about Emily looks like power got the best of her ( they do say power corrupts ) that’s the price you pay in that line of work shame though ( but please be careful the attention span of an average reader falters around 5 to 7 pages then they get board and give up on the story ) but as I said great work and keep your ideas going for these fantastic stories of yours really did enjoy hope you write more soon really did enjoy your story

Sorry, I realize it was a monumental effort by the writer. Jacq and Jordan waited too long to start a life together as an exclusive couple. Specially, Jacq who waited and waited for a man to make a decision, that at the end the wife, Emily had to make for him. Emily left her husband and children out of indifference. She didn't really care about them, just herself. Yes, she is a narcissist, but she acted with indifference and Jordan took it over and over. Why wait so long for somebody who didn't respect or really care about you. Again, no reason for a successful, self-reliant, attractive fellow to wait for his wife to come back to a marriage for so long. I don't care what his lawyer recommended, he lived a life of humiliation and disrespect. I cannot and wouldn't wait for so long as he did. Thanks God Emily decided to kick him to the curve otherwise we would still be reading chapter after chapter of indecisions and false hopes. The characters were hardly likable to me.

i don't know why he didn't go after her and her boss and the company i would have burned the bastards

There may be a story in this somewhere. But that story simply got lost in all the unnecessary words. I'm not sure what you were thinking or if you even proof read this story. But this needed to be 4 MAYBE 5 pages maximum. I'm guessing over 50% of the readers never finished. Think about where you are and what's expected and try again. This was a failure to entertain.

2 stars

I wasn't enjoying it so put that down to sheer obstinacy.

It's very slow.

It's very repetitive.

It contains too many irrelevances.

It contain mistakes. Just one:- "She announced to me over dinner-out, about a week after she got home, that she was pregnant." Think about this. She gets fucked by her lover for a few weeks, comes home and fucks her husband, and tells him she's four days pregnant????

Some might say that the story is unbelievable. Not me. Lot's of famous stories, by great authors, are unbelievable. They get away with it by the quality of writing.

Wordy is a good description. The story got repetitive at times. After holding her balance for so long, Emily’s sudden change and abandonment of the children seemed out of character. The end seemed anticlimactic.

There are no characters in this story that are likable.

Jordan has all the information on his wife’s first affair and is to much of a coward to dump the slut. After he is a hero for saving the woman and baby he should have left his wife. Since getting hit by a bus did not make him act on moving on with his life the rest of the story is just showing he enjoys sharing his wife. When they finally divorced he should have used the son’s dna to force Emily to take the kid and then sue Robert for back child support.

Pathetic

Scanned it

It was alright

A bit different which is good, a bit repetitive. I gave it 4 stars. Thanks for writing.

IMHO this was too drawn out and lacking drama.I appreciate the effort and the quality of the writing is fine, thanks for posting.

Your character development worked very well with the ultimate conclusion and her unavailing was great.

Good story as it was well paced and the characters developed. The wife was a classic narcissist who ultimately abandoned her family for sex, money and power.

Yes, her husband helped create a monster, but he tried to keep the family together as long as possible, understandable, for a while.

My only issue with the story is that most women in her place would have aborted her accidental child without a second thought. Simply, bearing the child is too much of a distraction, although we don't know if she got some warped satisfaction from giving birth to another man's child.

Most women like her, still stay in touch with their kids, mostly for the ego and the desire to still pretend they are important to them. Knowing a woman like her, as the kids get older, they refused to have any contact with their mom and she will ultimately die alone.

When she left for France, and he and his mistress took their kids on vacation, I had a problem with that. Having non marital sex in the mobile home in front of kids is...off putting IMO. But I suppose it’s a cultural thing.

I can see him taking her lovers kid from them. He’s fathered girls and wanted a son. If you really like raising children adopted or bastard, what’s the difference?

I would like to have you write a story about Emily's life as she gets older perhaps a reflection back on life after she reaches retirement at 75 years old living alone.

I could put up with one more recap of the things I already read in the previous page or two.

This is the most over-written, fence-sitting, milquetoast, middle-of-the-road-just-kill-me crap I have seen on this site. The fact that the "attorney" is an undeniable cretin is just above the protagonist's desire to be cuckolded. The fallacy that an "architect" can make over $200,000 is also a farce (as it is documentedly, the LOWEST paying profession on the face of the planet)!

The character misrepresentation is grievous. There is no way a person who has the intelligence, resourcefulness and character to become a managing architect would act like this. I will allow that there are plenty of "middle management" dead-wood spacefillers that couldn't make a decision if their life depended on it, but that isn't who makes the "big bucks" like this fellow seems to be handed. Maybe it is the fact that there are that many more dupes in the big cities of the "southwest" (closer to LA...).

It irritates me when "authors" waste my time, and this was one of the instances that got my hackles up! I couldn't get to page 11. 10 was enough - hope there isn't a "part 2"!

Smokepole

in that you wrote something that held my interest for 12 pages of pretty dense text. However, I am so disgusted with the characters, I had to take it out by voting 2*.

The wife is absolutely reprehensible, a by product of mental illness, wealthy upbringing and faux feminism. And at the end she abandoned her kids wholly and completely.

The husband is not much better, a weak cuck who accepts his wife giving him seconds of pussy, time and heart. He also takes an woman with him on his vacation with his girls, and shares a bed with her, telling the girls that is their little secret and not to tell mom. Is there any hope for those kids to grow up normal?

Good job getting the water boiling.

She left her family. Would that be partially because, once she knew that Jordan knew about Robert (and David, et al) she wasn't getting the rush of putting one over on him anymore?

Had her affirmations of love of Jordan just been a self-serving lie to herself?

This story was well structured. The lawyer wife is totally stupid,self centered and definitely self absorbed.

I lost interest halfway through the first page. Unnecessary details, droning on and on. Irrelevant information regarding anything and everything bogged the story down to a crawl. I couldn't suspend my disbelief enough to swallow this bloated pill.

Really good story - couldn't put it down. Well done!

lol umm lets see where to start. ok the story was really good for me until like page 5 then it got stupid around page 10 it just got retarded. there were thing in there that shouldnt be plus the over and over and over and over again rehashing, we read it once we dont need to re it again on every page. that made the story 6 pages too long. too much really to go into detail tbh. this story would have greatly improved with an editor or even just a good proof reader. i realize that hard to find on this web site

Well written, great character development. Keep up the good work!

I did feel the dialogue scheme led to a lot of repetition, as different perspectives covered the same thing. I also felt the ending was a bit abrupt, and that’s probably because there was no hubby-wife closure after (or before) the divorce. I miss that piece. Still, great idea, vivid characters, and one of my favorites.

Well written, a bit slow, but it read like real life to me. In the end Emily wanted things her husband and family could not provide. Will she be happy with her success, who knows? I do know one thing, Washington DC is full of smart, ruthless people. She may find she is just another small fish in a pond full of sharks, particularly as she gets older.

I did read to the end, mostly to see how far you would push the Emily character into her narcissistic whirlpool. I really can say that, beyond the children whom we don’t really meet, there isn’t a character in this story I like. It is filled with selfish, self-centered, self-indulgent, and self-important people who have a profound lack of caring for others. Where commitments and loyalty seem to be alien personality traits. I even argue that Jordan and Jacqueline are only shades less self-absorbed than Emily or Robert. I would even go as far to say that most of the main characters are borderline sociopaths.

I wish that when you decided to post this as a marathon piece that you would have gone back and taken out some of the review dialogue summarizing the previous seven or eight or nine or etc. pages which, in turn, made it even longer than it needed to be.

Far too long,could have been told in half the words.As for Jordan the wimp doesn't deserve happiness for letting his wife run around on him. What sort of man brings up another mans child,not only that but allows his wife to keep shagging him..Despite his lawyers advice,he should have dumped his wife straight away.With her attitude there is no way she would have wanted custody of the kids.Also why didn't he use his brother for his lawyer and what good did seeing a shrink do,but confuse him even more.

Honestly? Not worth your time. It drags on, irrelevant details, plodding storyline, repetitive and unnecessary dialogue.

This could have been wrapped up in 4 pages, as it is, it was a descent into MM territory with the very definition of a cuck story.

After my oldest brother committed suicide because of a stupid conniving bitch, my dear old pappy give me some of the best advice I have ever received: "Son, men spend and waste a lot of time trying to figure out women, when it's really a simple concept. Women are fucking stupid. If you can wrap your head around that concept it explains everything they do." He went on to explain: "Why did she do that? Because women are fucking stupid. Why did she do this? Because women are fucking stupid."

I have shared that advice with my own boys and several friends. I have had a few friends come back and tell me after their divorce, that statement really made sense to them now.

Why did Emily do what she did? Because women are fucking stupid.

Yes it was long, but it was still a good story. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Should have titled it “Hot Mess”. Enjoyed it but what a circus

To create a dramatic hook the author has "Martha" give advice on divorce in Texas that, in real life, is malpractice worthy. For example, there is no "alimony" in Texas, and while there is very limited maintenance in special circumstances, the cunt Emily wouldn't get a fucking dime. Splitting the assets would be no great problem in their income category. That leaves custody. In all likelihood it would be joint/shared as long as they lived close together, which would eliminate child support payments to Emily. Given Emily's raging narcissism, having her fight to have managing conservatorship of the children wouldn't be credible; it would crimp her "fuck-style". Now, it might be wise for Jordan to bide his time for springing a divorce, but only a cum sucking cuck would behave as Jordan does, including raising Emily's bastard. It's the absurd legal advice that Jordan gets that the author tries unsuccessfully to use as a fig leaf to hide Jordan's cuckishness. So, we essentially end up with the usual copyrighted LW weak, low T, deficient male as the "husband".

The portrayal of the wife's career is ludicrous....if you are a lawyer. People should write what they know. This author knows nothing about the practice of law in Texas or anywhere else. If the story were set on the planet "Mungo" perhaps he could get away with it. But, as it is, this is so distant from legal reality that it's like writing a story in which LA is supposed to be on I 90.

Chur m8 awsum story

this was like watching a hemophiliac bleed out! this wasn't a burn the bitch story, this was a burn the reader story. this is what happens when you don't dump a cheating wife immediately! lol

I admit I wanted to see more Emily imploding but I get the message that human beings lead with their heart and do a lot of things that look obviously wrong from a distance. My only problem was Jacqueline- I don’t see a woman waiting around for five years as a mistress hoping for a shot at the MRS degree

…However,1/I doubt that the lawyer's advice is truly adequate, particularly over time. I'll leave it to the Texas law experts to analyze it, but when Emily goes from Dave to Robert, it seems to me that her advice becomes inadequate.

2/ Emily is described as a narcissistic personality (in the social and current sense of the term), but if indeed a number of her behaviors fit this characterization, others on the contrary do not fit this concept. In particular, at first, her relationship with her husband and children was not that of a narcissistic personality. We can imagine that over time a kind of social narcissism has developed, but its rapid evolution (at the end) seems unlikely to me.

3/ Leaving Jordan for more than two months is also unlikely. She is also convinced that Jordan knows nothing about her infidelity, but when she learns necessarily from her daughters (in FaceTime) that her husband, Jacqueline and the girls went for a month on the roads of America in the same vehicle, she should have reacted immediately, her person being immediately affected by this gesture from Jordan who denied her. Furthermore, when she realizes that she learns thant she is pregnant with the future Andrew, her personality can only contemplate abortion.

And it was not until the birth of Jacqueline's son that she had a slight doubt about the real relationship between Jacqueline and her husband. Unbelievable

4/ Jordan is also a bit implausible in the long run, and without being as harsh as all of these vengeful male comments, he should have reacted more quickly.

5/ I also regret that there is not an end of the type "_10 years later_", even "_20 years later_", taking up the main characters and what they have become:

What has become of Emily? Did her career explode or tell her what she wanted (did she become president of the USA?) Was she invited to her daughters' weddings? Finally everything that an author can invent.

Thank you

Mustela

All that way for a really shit ending. Jordan was useless, an absolutely useless character, Emily was too over the top, Jacq just too nice and way too understanding.

The lawyer Margaret, gave appalling advice, that just created more pain in the end.

To suffer 11 pages and be so disappointed at the end.

What a waste!!

Why was Jordan unwilling to go so far to protect his marriage as to drop a dime on Robert? Maybe Robert would have had to give up his mistress, who knows?

And how does Brenda have a professional license? (Once you start to believe that ethics are optional in one instance, you can start believing that you have a choice about every client)

And how dangerous is it, if you are going to break confidentiality, to do it to a (competent) lawyer?

I read this before and didn't rate it then.

I give it highest marks now as a pretty interesting "more real" kind of story. Emily just wasn't wife and mother material. The worst thing about her was that she tried to be for a pretty long time but then failed. Then her failure was felt worse by Jordan and her kids.

It's equivalent to a homosexual who tries to be a good husband and father but finally gives in to his true "nature" desires and leaves his family.

I am happy Jordan and his kids found Jacq. Most times that does happen in real life too.

That Emily wasn't "burned" or punished more is often real life too. That's just the way it is.

sad, unrealistic, painful, but well-written.

Why the fuck should the new wife stay faithful? She already knows he’s a wimpy, cuckolded bitch that will just smile and take it if she cheats. This punk bitch never told on the real father of the baby boy and his dumb, beyond weak ass is raising another dude’s baby with his bitch ass! His new wife is no better because that stupid bitch should have bounced long ago but they deserve each other because they’re both weak ass losers with a zero fucking sense of self worth! Even if he stayed for the kids, that doesn’t mean that he treats that dirty whore like she’s still the same woman she was when she was faithful. He’s a bitch and this story made me want to put a fucking bullet between the eyes of everyone in this fucked up story, except the kids. Who by the way are going to be fucked in the head over their stupid ass father staying with their whore ass mother and using them as the excuse as to why he did. I fucking hate cuckold stories because that shit is disgusting!

A bit of advice: When you change point of view you don't need to give all the background again. You may be speaking through a different character, but it's still the same person reading and s/he doesn't forget it all when you switch characters! It just got too tedious.

7? I would have loved this complex story had this vindication of morality through baby making not been thrust... But anyways a refreshing change from the dumb btb cave man writing one reads

Well told story, unfortunately, I don't like any of the characters. Everybody has a double life and nobody was truly happy until the very end. I don't understand the need of Jordan of raising Robert's child as his own. Let the mother and father do that job. Jordan takes too much abuse from Emily and never really showed the world the whore and selfish she really. I would have tried to destroy her an Robert publicly as cheater. He would have gotten everything he wanted in the divorce. At the end he was abandoned like dog. I have a horrible taste in my mouth after finishing this... it tastes like sour milk.

Loved the story, even though it was somewhat longwinded. And because you spent so much time and so much detailing, I felt the last two chapters were not as good, rather disappointing, in the quickness to end the tale. It left the impression in my mind you just got tired of the complicity of the story and decided to end it all. But it is a great tale.

This read more like a manual. Very little emotion and overall more of a ho-hum.

The ending though? That just flat out failed.

"Days Of Our Lives" has nothing on this convoluted tale of amoral people pretending to be human beings.

I don't know which character was the most dysfunctional. Classic "love" justifies all behavior.

I was glad it finally ended.

It’s a really good, strong and complicated storyline. There’s just no emotion whatsoever, no depth to anyone’s sense of loss.

Emily was from a wealthy family. Her mother was used to having her way. That’s the kind of person who demands answers when she asks a question. Of anything in the story, I find it unrealistic that there wasn’t a heated argument between mother and daughter, over Emily being unreachable when her husband was near death and her 2 young daughters needed her.

What a wimp.He should have divorced her straight away,no matter what the lawyer said.There was no way Emily would want full custody of their daughters,it would interfere with her work.Plus he should have sued her firm and named Robert as the father of the boy and requested maintenance for him.

OK! So he gets good logical advice from his lawyer and goes with it. The wife keeps messing around and he gets a wonderful lover... great idea but his “love” for the wife keeps interfering with his quest for happiness. Really? When he got the DNA from the new baby it was time to put the hammer down and BTB!!! All the rest of this story was extraneous and un-necessary garble to fill up a few more pages!!

A PILE of Garbage; I couldn't finish this story as it is so bad.

Watching the rationale of being pathetic happy beta cuckold who happily raises another mans alpha get while sewage is getting lipsticked and cologned and perfumed to overlay it as if it was something not horribly sordid and disgusting. And Stupid let us not forget stupid to a waste of precious years stupid.

Only managed to the through page 7 before I had to call it quits and give up on this story.

This was painful to read, and frankly Jordan should have gotten a second or even a third opinion, b/c he was ill served by Margaret's advice. Soap Opera formula all the way, and not even good soap opera at that.

Not going to keep showing where this went off so many rails, b/c I'd likely take up several pages myself.

I've read some decent RAACs (not into them as a matter of taste) that worked on Lit, but this is just painful, and I'd rather go back and reread a few of the borderline ones than continue through to page 11.

My rating will reflect my thoughts as well.

Thanks for the story, only 3*. Story had more plot holes than a colander. She was supposed to be a sex addict but she was meeting David twice a month, then it was supposed to be weekly then the other dude twice a week hardly a sex addict. She goes to France for 11 weeks but when she got back it magically slipped to 8 weeks. She was never a workaholic, but in the ending she’s a career woman. WTF? And the husband was even by Literotica standards a complete wuss. Cut bait and ditch the bitch. Plus the story should have been about 5 pages shorter.

Dumped Emily, eventually she would have dropped the girls off and walked away anyway. He wouldn't be raising her bastard kid. He would have married Jacq sooner and would have been much happier and not have wasted extra years with such a disgusting, selfish creature.

One in reading this it is almost like you meant to have this in parts as there were many places you seemed to summarize where we are in the story. If that was a change in plans great if not, it got kinda annoying after awhile.

Marrying a woman with the intention of raising a family who had no motherly instincts for the love and care children need.

Like some fucked up men who desert the children they have. Here, she cheats and takes off. People like this are the worst fucking humans on earth.

This is just painful. Just a story of a man who doesnt have a spine and likes being stepped on.

Bitch be crazy.

Unless alcoholism plays a part in your story, all you authors need to lose references to drinking whiskey to deal with a tough situation. It’s trite, pointless and stupid. Just stop it. All of you. Fingers of bourbon...WTF? Just leave it out. It doesn’t help and it sounds absurd.

Five stars but extremely mixed feelings. Kind of a sad ending.

This was too long and repetitive for me. Waiting years to divorce the woman made no sense.

Totally agree with Skubabill.

I'm happy for Jordan and Jackie berry had they got what they should have got they deserved everything. I'm sorry about the wife Emily she is beyond anything that I understand. I hope that she can find happiness but I don't think she ever will. She may think she found happiness but in reality she struggling looking for happiness. Sorry for all the misspelled words but the voice writer doesn't always get it wright.

It would be interesting what happens to Emily when she is 70 years old.... Sitting alone with a lot of money and a lover who will fuck her when she pays him is not really desireable.

RE: Schwanze12 months ago

<<One thing

Unless alcoholism plays a part in your story, all you authors need to lose references to drinking whiskey to deal with a tough situation. It’s trite, pointless and stupid. Just stop it. All of you. Fingers of bourbon...WTF? Just leave it out. It doesn’t help and it sounds absurd.>>

If you do not know how to drink alcohol correctly, this does not give you the right to demand sobriety from others. In other words, keep your idiotic advice to yourself.

what bullshit. the wife is a slut, and the husband a first-rate idiot.

looks like he's sitting eating popcorn and watching his wife's movie. I wait, I think, I wait. I think 🤔🤔......... what a wonderful example for his children: we can be disrespectful, we can treat you like shit but that's okay, I wait.😂😂😂😂

The author took way to long to tell this story..seems like 5 pages or more spent relating Jordan's thoughts on what to do with his wife

All em is is a piece of dumb ass she lyies cheats and lyies again . Hope you and jaw live a happy long life

As far as em let her dye. I know you won't want to hear this but roberts wife needs to know of his affair with your ex and you should go after him for suport

Where were the lawsuits Emily's law firm and her managing partner lover?

Wanting to stay with his kids is the right mindset,but he should have divorced Emily a lot sooner.As for bringing up Robert'skid,he is stupid,he should have named him and sued their firm ,when she got pregnant..Also why was the fact no one could get hold of her at the time of the accident,glossed over?.

The story was too long. Angst filled soap opera.

Loved it, with one exception. Emily’s mentality needs some exact discussion. What is the basis of her mental aberration, and then a follow up of who, when, where, why, and of course family should or could have changed her downfall.

I ACTUALLY THOUGHT IT WAS WRETCHED TALE! TWO STARS WAS THE MOST I COULD DO FOR YOU ON THIS ONE.

You paint a pretty good picture of an increasingly narcissistic wife. I can't understand why he would put up with it so long, but his devotion to his children is unquestionable. He was a better man than she deserved and he is well to be rid of her. Interesting story, but I'm not surprised it drew criticism of the husband.

A generous 2. This tale was way too long. How he could continuously support and wait for his ex was agonizing. He needed to cut the cord with her way before and work to improve the lives of the kids. lastly what about Robert? He got away with cheating on his family and doing nothing to support the kid. Terrible story with Noone learning anything from it.

absolute garbage.... how is his lawyer even a lawyer? once he mentioned she was cheating with her boss, that right there is where it shouldve started and get daily reports but no pics? even if he couldnt get any money he mightve been able to trash their firms reputation. after the accident, she was making more than him since he couldnt work so he probably would get alimony then he raises her bastard child. the cheating ex wife clearly made out in this story.

Re-read this after re-reading "Dan - His Story" which was a shorter re-working of the same themes as this story. Both are classic fives, very enjoyable. Cheers!

I suppose there are really only 2 virtually identical versions of this story on this site, but I swear it feels like I've read 4 or 5 versions of it from the same author.

So, my questions are:

1. why keep writing the same story over and over again?

2. why do you make the stories so long?

3. why did you put the bus incident in the story? It did nothing to further the plot or anything.

Do you know that the essence of the distinction between a short story and a novel or novelette is that everything in a short story has to contribute to the journey to the climax?

You're a good writer, but I think you might imbibe a little too much and then you just start riffing on anything that strikes your fancy as you write. Maybe the problem is that you type too well, and it's too easy for you to say in 100 words what you should have said in 10. Maybe try typing with two fingers to discover the value of brevity.

So, the fucking partner, Robert, walks away? He took advantage of a subordinate employee and violated all kinds of corporate and federal workplace laws in doing so. First, Jordan needs to sue his friend and attorney, Margaret, for malpractice. Then, he needs to sue Robert and the law firm. If nothing else, donate the money to charity, but it takes a weak-kneed pu**y to let a lothario like him take advantage of a mentally ill woman. Also, meet Robert in an alley one night and make sure he can only get to your ex-wife in a walker or a wheelchair.