Juicy Jolie 01

"Damn it, Ben, slow down! Leo, your Hollywood hair makes girls all woozy and stuff. Just keep elbowing Jake so he shares his hoochie sticks."

"And you never thought to say something about my hair before?"

"Hmmm, think about that, Leo. I would have said something as Juicy Joel and not Juicy Jolie. How would that sit with you?"

"Oh, snap, that thought makes me woozy and stuff. Damn it Ben, speed it up. We need to at least be towards the middle of the waiting line. Ah, Jolie, can I just stick with calling you Juicy? I like Juicy and what should I do with my jacket?"

"Take the jacket off, turn your shirt inside out and you know, flex the guns a little, but not too much. Also, OMG, BEN AND I HAVE BEEN DATING ALL SUMMER, BUT WE DON'T HAVE SEX! NOW, STOP PUTTING SO MUCH PRESSURE ON ME."

"Wow, seriously Juicy?

"Wow, Juicy wants to get some. Should I take my shirt off too?"

"Hah, knew that, but seriously? No sex?"

"Sorry Ben, but they were pressuring me and I snapped. Ah, Jake, no leave your shirt on, but feel free to wear you shades. And Leo, I plead the fifth."

"Oh, so Ben's been cheating on you because there is an empty condom wrapper on the floor back here. Interesting, right?"

"Damn it, Ben!!!!! You couldn't clean out your SUV???? Oops, I mean, Leo, Ben is free to prematurely ejaculate with anyone he pleases. We are just casual movie buddies and I just like dressing in feminine clothing."

"Wow, seriously Juicy?

"Wow, Juicy almost got some. Should I take my socks off?"

"Hah, figured that, but seriously? No lap dances or maybe a little Lolli Pop action?"

"OMG, STOP PRESSURING ME AGAIN! I TALK DIRTY TO HIM UNTIL HIS TINY LITTLE DICK MAKES A PREMATURE MESS EVERYWHERE AND I ONLY TASTED IT ONCE BECAUSE HIS STUFF FLEW INTO MY MOUTH! Geez, guys! Give me the parking money, Ben. He will be at my window."

"Wow, seriously Juicy?

"Wow, Juicy is naughty and got something. Should I wear cap my backwards?"

"Hah, that sounds about right, but seriously, how much flexing is too much?"

Well, guy's, right? My life plan was to role play a fem persona, but I didn't think it would be in terms of a mother hen. I mean, just getting them in the waiting line was like getting 2nd graders ready for school and by that, I mean, OMG, they couldn't stand still for a minute. LOL, guy's, right?

"Good evening, folks and welcome to Club Deep Star. Parking is $35 for the entire evening and we have security."

"Here sir, and SOB, BEN ONLY TRIED TO STICK IT IN MY BUTT A COUPLE OF TIMES AT THE MOVIES, BUT IT DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE HE IS STILL A VIRGIN AND HAS NEVER ROLLED A CONDOM ON BEFORE AND HE BLOWS HIS LOAD IN UNDER 10 SECONDS EVERY TIME! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?"

"Ah, $5 is your change. The line forms to the left and crazy bitches start on the right."

Ah, wasn't I saying something about being embarrassed earlier? Well, if I didn't, I should have.

"Wow, seriously Juicy?

"Wow, Juicy knows some stuff. Should I stuff my shirt pocket with cash?"

"Hah, everyone knows that, but seriously, you're going to help me a hook up tonight, right, Juicy?"

"OMG, I am so sorry guys, I'm just so nervous. Park it, Ben and I promise to shut it for the rest of the night. Leo, we'll get you hooked up, but be prepared for a lot of eye shadow and liner. Jake, would you fire up a hoochie cigarette so I can inhale some of it and calm down a little?"

"Sure, did you want to suck on it directly and really get calmed down?"

"OMFG, I ONLY SUCKED ON HIS BALLS ONCE, BUT ONLY BECAUSE HE SAID IT WOULD HELP HIM FROM SPILLING HIS WAD SO SOON AND GUESS WHAT? IT DIDN'T WORK THAT WAY AND HE MADE ANOTHER QUICK MESS IN HIS BOXER SHORTS. BEN HAS NO CONTROL OR STAYING POWER, ALRIGHT?"

Oh, so that's what dead silence sounds like, huh? Like dead silence, except for the sound of Jake's lighter.

"Wow, seriously Juicy?

"Wow, Juicy is all that. Should I show off all of my hoochie sticks?"

"Hah, well, dump Ben, but seriously, what about that hottie right there?"

End Juicy Jolie 01