Hootie 01

Hi there, I'm a cross dresser who goes by the name Hootie, but it has nothing to do with an eatery that is best known for chicken wings. I do not own or wear a pair of orange booty shorts nor do I own a tight while tank top from a restaurant. People call me Hootie because my eyes are big and it's better than being called "cartoon eyes", which I had to fend off years before I started cross dressing. However, my backside is pretty small and shapely, so I wouldn't look bad in those shorts, but that's not me. I'm pretty much a soft cotton and Denim CD, although I do lean towards wearing logo shirts and tops a lot, just not from that famous eatery.

Now, I'm not exactly bitchy, but my small group of friends make me bitchy from time to time because they make me work so hard to get an invite to events and gatherings. They see it as being "fair" and "open minded" while I see it as BS, but at least I'm not shut out completely and the occasional social interaction is very valuable to me. Also, I'm trying really hard to not use the phrase "swindled an invite out of them", but sometimes that's how it feels.

I always approached each invite with a game plan. First, nobody was ever going to say that Hootie wore out her welcome, so I would hang out for at least one hour and never longer than two hours. Secondly, I tried to make myself useful where ever I was at. I absolutely had no problem volunteering to man the keg corner if there was such a thing or watching the front door for the pizza delivery person to arrive and things like that. I wanted everyone to think of me as fem boy Hootie with a purpose as much as possible. I found that both of those game plans were successful, with limitations, of course.

Well, things changed up a little last September when half of the crew went back to college and college dorm life. I definitely found that the smaller the crowd, the better my acceptance at the party or whatever the event was labelled. The smaller group also helped increased my value for finding things that made me seem purposeful. I mean, things need to get done and someone needs to step up and get them done, so my value increased through after September.

The other great thing about the smaller crowds were my ability to actually socialize as opposed to standing against the wall and watching everyone else carry on. In other words, talking or flirting at any level was no longer at a premium, but readily available to me at each gathering.

Now, since I mentioned flirting, let me clarify that word as "practicing" things like flirting. I mean, I couldn't exactly flirt my good friends, but I took advantage of any opportunity I had to practice with them. My role playing wasn't all about dating or anything like that, but if the situation ever arose, it seemed liked a little flirting experience would be valuable, so when I could, I gently flirted.

But not straight up flirting. I would wait for the party host to ask me to myself useful by replacing the deck boards or something like that before I flirted my butt off as I explained how my small stature prevented me from performing certain tasks. I never had any issues with keeping the dining tables clean, but I never wanted to chip a nail, so I would explain my situation as I flattered my huge eyes. Also, I wish I knew how to flirt my butt off, but I always gave it my best shot.

Anyways, back to the fall season and the college football season.

Hah, and the friends think that I can be bitchy at times! These guys were absolutely bat crazy about football games that they had no control over, but the Saturday games gave me purpose during the watch parties. Not to mention that football jerseys offer the prefect neckline.

Oh, and not to mention that all of the girlfriends stopped coming around. I mean, girls not be bitch crazy about football for the most part, so the crowds were even smaller, which I took advantage of as I practiced my fem role playing social skills. I mean, some day I'm going to go out somewhere and it would work so much better if I didn't stumble and fumble if I'm ever lucky enough to role play a date.

So, the weekends of football carried on through September and into October and I had a small group of guys all to myself. Sure, I may have been their little server bitch and sure, I bitched about it, but I gained so much valuable experience as a CD. Also, damn, we are a bitchy group, but even bitching is a form of conversation, so it was a small price to pay.

And one of the best parts was that without the girlfriends around, a few of them would flirt back. It was very casual, but they participated in the game. Especially Skippy. Which was surprising because Skippy had never known been known as the talkative one, but he engaged more and more as each weekend passed.

It was also surprising when Skippy hosted a game watch in the middle of October and he made a point of inviting me personally. I mean, inside of my head I was screaming foul and trickery, but knowing that he was in the circle of friends, well, what's the worse that could happen, right?

And nothing bad happened and it almost seemed innocent, although I kept a skeptical mind set as Skippy asked me to distribute the halftime beers and pizza, after which he walked me outside to his barn. Oh, yeah, I was skeptical alright. I mean, a little flirting in the hallway is one thing, but alone in the barn? Come on, right? But I went with him anyways.

First of all, holy long walk snap, his barn was quite a distance from the safety of his house. Secondly, holy cleaned out barn snap, I thought barns were dirty and cluttered, but not Skippy's. Thirdly, hah, I agreed with him that his barn would be a great place to have a Halloween party, especially since it was almost completely decked out for such an event. I mean, who the hell did all this, right?

"So, Skippy, who the hell did all of this? I mean, this is kind of amazing. It's so spacey"

"Well, I did it myself, but don't get too excited. I've been working on it since last July."

"So, let's get down to it. What's my job? Sweep the dirt floor or spread dirt over the spills?"

"See that table by the front doors with the boxes on it? That's your station. The boxes are full of eye covering masks and I was wondering if you would make sure that everyone who comes in without a costume at least wears an eye mask. You know, distribute masks to everyone who needs one."

"Oh, so, like the ticket agent?"

"Well, you don't need to make it sound so demeaning, but you can wear whatever costume you want to and you won't have to worry about filling beer cups and stuff, you know, for a while."

It was an interesting proposition and it would give me a chance to wear a costume and have the safety of a table between the guests and myself, so I accepted his offer.

"I'll do it if we seal the agreement with a kiss, Skippy."

"Ah, come on Hootie, you know that I'm not built that way. How about if we seal the deal with a hug? Besides, I think Jay has a thing for you, so, you know, right?"

"And what if I have a thing for you, Skippy?"

"Ugh, come on Hootie, I already said that I'm not wired that way and last weekend doesn't count. I had too many beers and you shouldn't wear such small shorts to a party."

"Ugh yourself Skippy, unless you're admitting that you didn't have a roll of quarters in your pocket when you walked me to my car last weekend."

"Don't be like that, Hootie. Do we have a deal?"

"Fine, I'll work your stupid party and I'll work your stupid eye mask table and I'll just blend in with the barnwood. I'll see you at 7pm!"

"Oh, well, if you're going to get all bitch crazy about it, we can just forget about it. I'll just work my own stupid party and work my own stupid mask table. Are we done? We should get back inside."

"I suppose we can leave the privacy of your barn and go back inside with the rest of the guys."

Well, what the hell, right? I guess he wasn't built that way, but at least he held my arm as we made the long walk back to the main house. The moral of my story to this point is that if you ever take me out and try to kiss me good night, well, I'm not going to know how to respond, so don't ask me out, I guess.

But I was going to Skippy's Halloween party one way or the other because I had already purchased a costume! I mean, my costume was as stupid as his eye mask table idea, but I bought it and I was going to wear somewhere, LOL, I hoped.

I came across a female mummy jumpsuit costume that had attached cloth drapes all over the place and a head piece that I thought looked workable as I reviewed it at the store. And it was workable, but it was stupid because all of the 'extras" that were required like the makeup kit and the footwear that really jacked up the cost. But I bought it and I swear, I was going to wear it to Skippy's party come hell or high water. Also, huh, who knew that jumpsuits could be such a nice piece of clothing for a cross dresser? They are very revealing, yet very concealing at the same time. You know, maybe not so stupid.

Oh, and if you're wondering about my body type, the female small size fit me like a skin on a grape.

The problem was that two weeks had gone by and Jay hadn't called me to apologize and reactivate his request for me to work the stupid mask table. Also, Jay didn't owe me an apology but I was in bitch crazy practice mode, so that was my story and I was sticking to it.

Well, on the Friday night before Skippy's Halloween party, I had settled in my mind that attending the party wasn't happening for me, so I called it a day and slipped into my comfy cotton leisure pants and kicked back to drown my sorrows with fresh blush, mascara and lip gloss. I mean, it looked like it was going to be another Friday night of posting stupid selfies on my Chang page and then changing into my costume later so I could post a few photos of that too. I mean, I had all night, right?

That's when there was a gentle knock at the front door of my Condo. Hah, it was Skippy and he must have come over to apologize to me.

"Well, this is a surprise, Skippy. What can I do for you? Did you come over to help me insert the butt plug that I use every Friday night or are you hungry?"

"Ah, what? Oh, wait, what?"

"Never mind all that and come in. Do you want a scrambled egg sandwich on toast?"

"Ah, yeah, that sounds good, unless you're going to go all bat crazy about it."

"Hey, I'm all bitch crazy about things, not bat crazy. Please, come in and make yourself comfortable. What else would you like with your egg sandwich?"

"Hmmm, I don't know, a ponytail?"

"Hah, sit and relax. Is the barn all finished for your big party?"

Yeah, he may have answered that question, but I had work to do, so I moved on to other things, like pulling my hair into a quick ponytail and scrambling three eggs. And while I was pulling my hair back, well, my thin jammies were right there and a quick change didn't take more than a few seconds, so I changed into them.

"Here Skippy, use my phone and take a photo of me slaving away in the kitchen. Chang users really like T-Girls who work it in the kitchen."

"Oh, are you a T-Girl?"

"No, they go out or have boyfriends and generally have fun, but I lie a lot on Chang."

"OMG, did you just give yourself a wedgie with your PJ bottoms?"

"The highly defined valley is important. And don't be shy, I mean, unless you're not built that way."

"Ah, well, say cheese, I guess."

"Got it, I'll put cheese on your scrambled egg sandwich. Three angles please."

"Ugh, I can't believe I'm saying this, but bend one knee. It will help pronounce, you know, your valley. Yeah, just like that. Ah, say tease."

I wish I could tell you that he was putty in my hands, but working with putty was one of those tasks that I spent all summer and fall flirting my way out of. Also, I'm pretty good in the kitchen just as long as you don't go all bat crazy and request some bitch crazy seven course meal.

"Alright Skippy, one perfect egg sandwich that should help you with your apology to me."

"I'm apologizing for not being able to make out with you, Hootie!"

"Fine, but one kiss and making out are not the same thing. Would you like a glass of milk or a beer?"

Again, he may have answered that question, but I got up and retrieved him a beer because it was a Friday night and booze works so much better than milk when you trying to fish out an apology and a reinstatement of my party invite. Also, it works when you sit your guest in the arm chair and then join him in said arm chair. Cozy beats milk and beer combined, especially when cozy is right across the lap of someone.

"Ooh, well, that feels like new construction. Did you just build that? LOL, you don't have to answer that, I'll get up and let you eat. Is there a Friday night game I can put on for you?"

"Ah, channel 202, but don't go too far away. We need to talk about the plug, I mean the party."

Hah, there's that putty thing, right? Well, kind of. He maintained his macho image for the rest of the time that he was over, which I respected and gave him his distance. He did reinstate my Halloween party job offer, which I accepted. He wasn't exactly happy that I snuck in a quick peck on the cheek, but he didn't bitch slap me either, so that was that. It didn't exactly qualify as a first kiss, but it was enough to lie about on Chang, which I did, of course.

I thought he was going to up his game as he walked out of the front door and I think he wanted too, but that manly thing prevented any further activity between us. But he did cover a few rules at the front door before he departed, all of which I had a response for.

"You stay at the table until it looks like everyone who is coming has arrived."

"I sat on your lap and you liked it."

"After that, you can mingle all you want, but you'll keep one eye open for late comers."

"You're still thinking about my butt plug. It's bejeweled in blue."

"People will expect you to fill their beer cups after you come out from behind the table."

"We'll meet inside of your house after 11pm when you're horny from Stacey's sexy costume."

"Ugh."

"I won't bring up kissing ever again."

"Promise?"

"Promise, unless you want me to kiss your dick. I mean, nobody knows that you're here, right?"

"OMG, that's enough already! I'm leaving now."

"Alright, leave horny and I'll see you about 7pm."

"Well, wait, do you really use a butt plug?"

"I own one, but it's still in the little box. Did you want to see it?"

Hah, that was enough for him, I guess. And actually, I was glad that he got all flustered and left because my mouth wrote a check that it couldn't cash. Besides, a "first kiss" shouldn't be downstairs, if you know what I mean, right?

Anyways, I spent the rest of the evening trying on my costume and taking selfies to post. I only wished that the costume makers would have made it easier to attach more cloth drapes, but it was what it was and it was what I was going to wear to Skippy's Halloween party the next night.

So, if you're there at the party, keep an eye out for me. Just look around for Hootie, a mummy in a jumpsuit costume.

End Hootie 01