by hiddensoullover
A bit quick and a bit confusing
Slow it down. Spell out the relationship
Good story,but very quick and not enough development of the characters. I want to feel the relationship, not just the sex. Otherwise a very nice job.
She jumped on the girl too quickly
I think the words you wanted to use were "writhe" and "writhing", not "wither" and "withering". Wither means dry up, and I know that's not what you meant.
This happened exactly with me and my friend. We were dating for a while but she recently broke up with me and this makes me very sad. Good story though.