All Comments on 'Just a Bump'

Unlike Cindy TV’s story, this Lothario actually demonstrated some respect for the woman he was stealing.

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But alas! It didn’t save him in the end. (It may very well have killed him.)

Wrong person in the wrong place at the wrong time!

4

Karma can be a bitch

Its a shame that a red sports car with driver were harmed in the writing of this story! A necessary evil, I guess.

Well done

Hah! A well used Deus Ex Machina. Short and sweet! Thanks for writing!

I did enjoy it! Fresh plot with a great ending. Only complaint is they aren't married and that miss for the LW genre was a pretty easy fix. Otherwise - 4.2*

Needs part two.

Short and to the point. It might be interesting to write a follow up with the fiancé moving on and living well with someone who doesn't want to play the field before getting married. At least there is no divorce.

Always the comment: they weren't married.

For the record, the world is changing.

Marriage is not required to live together, to grow old together, to raise children together.......

The rules governing a couple's relationship are made throughout their life together, not just in front of a signature or a man of the cloth.

In the end, marriage is just a legal and administrative issue.

Nice idea.

Not a full story, but a nice idea.

⭐⭐⭐

Good start.

A worthless story that differs from scores of other "we have to talk" stories only because the "bump in the road" is killed by a "bump in the road." People suffering capital punishment for acting like humans is not enough to make this little story interesting.

Very good! The follow up to story should be a beautiful woman was driving the red sports.....

A good start, take inspiration where you can find it. The basics of the story are pretty much a repeat of the standard Honey We Need to Talk storyline. Death to the interloper is a bit much, but this is fiction and I think you meant it to be OTT. As to not giving up, if he keeps this girlfriend, he's dumb as a box of rocks.

Don't let negative responses discourage you, keep writing.

It would have been a great first story, but as it stands is an excellent second one. Five stars.

Donny got what he deserved. Now Emma has no one and doesn’t deserve anyone. Mark dodged two bullets. He didn’t marry the cheater and didn’t beat or kill Donovan so no jail time.

Good start, a follow up is needed to finish the story. Ignore the negative comments and keep writing, most people who post a negative comment have never written a story anyway. Some of those who have need to remember the old saying 'people who live in glass houses'

Story ended too soon. You could have just added another half a page and had a full story with an appropriate ending. 3 stars. Could have been more.

Cute - 5*

Yes Yes Indeed I Did Enjoy It.

5* for a solid story with a great karmic ending.

Oh, I shouldn't like that as much as I do! 5*****! Thank you for that.

Started out nice and just ended. Waste of my time.

I liked it I would have liked and epilogue what happened after he still kicked her out. Also where was she standing next to passenger door? If the reds sports car hit the car as hard as it sounds it did she would have been hurt too. Keep on writing

Loved it. Just desserts are always fun, as are bumps in the road.

Ed

They’re dating, not married. So while it would suck, it’s better to know now than later.

Why wait 5 years though? He hadn’t even bought the ring so we’re talking years away and why should she wait more than 5 years to get married and have kids? And why wouldn’t she play the field before moving in?

Also, is she paying half the mortgage? Utilities? Groceries? Is her name on the deed? Because if it is, then he can’t kick her out without going through the courts.

And why the focus on violence? Is he so angry and prone to violence that he has to tell himself NOT to be violent?

There’s a lot of reasons these shouldn’t be married and honestly, I think they both dodged a bullet.

All in all, not a bad story and I look forward to you growing your craft.

Brilliant! 5*

Not even enough here to constitute a “sketch.”

3 stars

LOVED IT!! Karma says 'You're welcome.' 5 stars. The Bear is still smiling.

The BEAR

I LOVED IT!! Karma says 'You're welcome.' 5 stars, the Bear is still laughing. More, Please.

The BEAR

Brutal Karma!

Good short story with a nice dose of originality thrown in.

Full marks.

Instant karma, nice.

Loved it just long enough to read and chuckle it

Nice little story!! I also liked your mention of Azpiri's "Death of a Cuckold" after the end of your other tale ('Daddy's Girl'). Good tribute!!

Great short story. It had everything needed to entertain.

Very enjoyable just enough for not wanting more details but still do at the same time thanks and keep up the gggrrreeeaaattt work

Donovan got his, now kick the slut to the curb and move o

For what little of it that there was, it was okay. Since they aren't married it doesn't belong in the LW category.

Hmm. Ok plot but I just don't see a woman bringing the other man home like that.

I agrre with the last comment only changing the word 'person' for 'author'

The only problem here is that she survived!

good one though a little short

Another very good, short and rare tale about a realistic candidate husband with a male brain (and not with the usual totally unrealistic cuck sheep/monkey brain) instantly reacting against his candidate whore wife. This time the Justice karma hit very hard. More anti-cuck tales. 5* !

Very strange in that it is not a loving wife story but one of a Girl friend trying other cocks.

enjoy the story HELL YES

I wished the author had added a littke more on what Emma's reaction was after the accident...

A few paragrapjs would have sufficed.

She's gonna be a mess after that trauma. Problem for her is two fold. Why would he take her back? If he did take her back, she still has to abide by her new rules. It doesnt matter that her current lover is gone or in critical condition. She told him to find someone else. And she wanted things to be fair, so there has to be a period of her being single, while he's still with others. A minimum of her affair duration. But since he had zero input, it's only fair he adds a rule that she has zero input over. And he'd still have the moral high ground because she started the whole fiasco. Not sure she can handle all that.

Silly pointless she had already cheated

Remind me never to get on your bad side lol.

Stupid

Rash, uncontrolled anger usually has a bad end.

Yes. Wonderful little story with an excellent twist at the end. Perhaps a second chapter to wrap up loose ends and highlight how he continued to holdfast on his directions for her to "exit" the house. perhaps with Donovan in hospital all smashed up and obviously not able to provide the "wonderful experiences" his slut GF was wanting!

Then the realities of her moving into Donavan's house/condo but without him there, she has to pay the bills. ETC. Cheers.

"For the record, the world is changing. Marriage is not required to live together, to grow old together, to raise children together."

-

But not always the changing is for the better, so it's no needed at all to follow and accept the toxic and poisonous propaganda against marriage and family.

It would have been better if the driver were the bitch wife. This is another example of the fempov Burn The Bastard, but don't touch the bitch wife.

Dude, how you spend it, how vengeful you are! hahahaha

Nah….just too trite. And they weren’t even married, making getting rid of the idiot woman a trivial task.

.

3 ***

Not bad for a vignette. Not actually a full story, of course. Still, worth four stars.

JPB

This wasn't even close to finished.

Awesome! Vengeance is mine, and I will repay, sayeth The Lord!”

ZK

Karma's a bitch, especially when you are getting rid of one. Two birds with one bump.

talk about dodging a bullet.....it's really to bad dumb ass couldn't dodge a sports car.....ROTFL

Short and very sweet. All that need be said. Five bright stars

You only get three stars , it's a good beginning but with no ending.

Great flash story. Would have been even better if you flushed it out a bit more but still a very good short!

Kind of like taking out the trash on steroids.

Nice! A helping of Karma served right up!

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Hate short stories. But this was good. Nothing left to say lol 5 stars

No follow-up needed. They're through, and she now has no one.

\

The only positive is that she wanted to do it before they were married, but she should have done her playing the field before they were committed.

Simple. Effective. Sweet. I'd like to have seen where she rides off with the ambulance or maybe the tow truck driver, but... okay. 5 stars.

You missed the best solution. Both the passenger and the driver needed to be hit. Now he is still left with an unfaithful partner.

stupid

Just goes to show that the Pols are always looking after our interests. 5 stars for a novel little story!

You never gave your readers a chance to get to know the characters. The concept was good, but could have been great. Without knowing who these people were, I was indifferent towards them. Not at all emotionally involved.

Ended too soon, which kind of ruins the story, it started off good, but it just ended and it fell flat for me.

Instant karmas gonna get you

Good fun, talk about Karma.

Very original!

Someone please pick up this story with a chapter two! Hopefully the girlfriend will learn a lesson about cheating and Karma rather than getting back with the fiancé to be.

Wow, when you finish a story, you really finish it.

I never got that obsession with punishing (often killing) APs in these stories. It's not the AP betraying the MC. They just do what any straight uncommitted dude should be doing, which is chasing willing pussy. And yet the sluts who are the ones betraying their partner often get out scotch free. And even reconciling.

Loved it! Short but with a satisfying end. A btb with no effort from the MC. Karma is an evil b*#ch. 5/5

Don’t know about karma, but it certainly was justice. Bitch don’t got nobody now.

Ouch. Three stars.

Just wrecking the car would have been a sufficient stupid tax for the Other Dude to pay.

Short but sweet. Great ending.

@sbrooks103xabout 18 hours ago

No follow-up needed. They're through, and she now has no one.

\

The only positive is that she wanted to do it before they were married, but she should have done her playing the field before they were committed. - You must have taken 2 smart pills today, Capt. Obvious

Very well done! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

"I left her standing there looking at the accident scene with horror painted on her face. When I returned I handed her a mop and a roll of paper towels. Do you mind cleaning up your new boyfriend's mess?"

That was beautiful.

What an amazing BTB. 10 stars! Thank you. Short, sweet, to the point, no stupid cuck stuff and zero "Oh I still love the beyatch that stabbed me in the back" whining.

Karma got one of the cheaters but the other one only gets kicked out of his life without really being burned. Still a good short story with a good ending.

Now this is a story to my liking 5 stars from Xluckylee

Great story. Very underrated at this point.

I liked it, where’s the part where Donovan’s car was pushed into Emma, breaking her leg?

Started as a bit bland, cliche loving wives.

I liked the twist. Don't see a need for for up on this one, but would enjoy being proven wrong...

Gotta' love a happy ending.

Nice. Hope he doesn't take the skank back.

Instant karma

Just enough story development to make it interesting. Got to respect those potholes. And yes, they sometimes fill a need. Thanks for your writing.

Now that the bump can be linked to a likely fatal crash, it’ll get fixed. Good for Donovan.

I was liking this and thought we were just getting to the interesting part, and bam! It’s over. Not that I haven’t done the same thing, but I’d like to seem Emma try to dig herself out of this mess (and probably fail; she deserves that).

Instant karma!

Brilliant lay up and climax🤣

Excellent