Just Once, Hell Yeah I Do Mind

"Understood. I'm pulling the cord now. Ugh!" Three gees from zero gravity sucks. Hurts everywhere, but I am just complaining to myself. I asked for this 'halo' stupidity and for very good reasons. It was necessary to the plan.

"Rotate right. You're on the line. Touchdown in five seconds. Bend your knees. Four, three, two, pull up, flare out. I got you." He practically caught me in the air. I was on the roof, bagging my chute and oxygen canister. I was out of the jump harness in less than twenty seconds. Then off with the flight suit. My contact had a nice convenient box for my flight suit. I was gonna be back in the thing when the chopper arrived. All flight materials went back in the chopper. No evidence of the jump was to remain. Nothing! I was not here. I was a continent away losing cash in a friendly card game.

We were on the stairs. They were on the eighth floor. He gave me a key, and a blackjack. I wouldn't need that, but he was kind enough to offer it to me.

"Don't kill them!" He hissed at me. Like I was some kind of amateur.

"No worries. Hell of a thrill ride. Next time I'm gonna take first class, and fly the friendly skies. Lots easier. Thanks for the wonderful help." I told him.

"Don't forget your part of the deal. One hour only. Chopper is confirmed. They are on the way. By the way, I love the tuxedo. Very James Bond-ish. No traces! Here's some gloves. One hour, don't forget, back to the roof. See you soon." He left me at their door. I used the electronic key. I walked into the room. Surprise!

She was just kissing him. I punched him in the face and broke his nose. Knocked him out with one punch. I kicked him in the balls three times, very hard. I was wearing latex gloves to leave no traces. I was gonna hit him again but he was out cold. No fun in that. I wanted to wake him up so I could beat the shit outa him, but there was no time for fun. I was gonna try to save my marriage to this slut.

My darling wife was standing there naked and unmoving as she saw me kick her paramour's ass in just three seconds flat. I turned to her and slapped her face, hard with an open hand. I picked her up and put her on the disgusting bed. I spanked her ass as she cried out. Ten open handed smacks on each beautiful asscheek. I did not exactly hold back. It was either this or I was gonna kill her. I figured the spanking might provide her some insight into how fucking angry I was. She deserved every smack on her ass! She probably deserved quite a few more, but I was pressed for time.

"No, no, no! You can't be here. Stop! Ouch! You fucker. I'll, I'll..." is all she said.

"You'll what? Cry some more?" I finished her corporal punishment. A simple spanking did not absolve her from her disgusting defiant adultery. But I gotta say, I felt a little better! What surprised me was she was smiling and dripping from her cheating cunt. I bet the fucking bitch enjoyed her spanking!

"Ok now that you have been chastised, we can have a little chat. You have some very quick decisions to make. You have basically destroyed our marriage. The cute little letter was a very nice coup de gras. Gutted me. Killed me. But I gotta try one last time before we call it done. If you apologize for your actions, and lies, and pack your shit and get on a plane, we can try to resurrect our marriage. This doesn't mean that I have forgiven you. It means that for all the good times and effort you gave over the years, I am willing to go to therapy and try to work out our differences. This is your very last chance, ever. If you choose not to do as I have specified, then you will never, ever see me again. Here are the divorce papers. They will be filed in the morning if the lawyer doesn't hear back from me. So do you want to continue as my wife or not? Just so you know, doctor asshole here is planning to dump your ass in the next couple of days. So you won't be getting married, or even living together with this predator. You have two seconds to decide. If you really do love me, that should be more than enough time. Well? This is your very last chance." I saw her tense up, and right then and there, she killed off our marriage. I saw it in her face.

"I told you what I was gonna do, I am still going to-" she was still intent on her own plan. Too bad. I had given her a chance. Time to get the fuck out.

"-I'll take that as a 'NO' then. Give me your left hand." I took it.

"No! Listen to me..." she started her litany again. I grabbed her hand and very roughly removed her rings. I turned to her and gave her a kiss. Her breath stank of semen. Yuck. That's irrelevant now though. I handed her my ring. Her eyes got very wide open. Yes, now she was seeing what her betrayal was going to cost her. I guess she just did not care anymore. Fuck her. We are done. Her betrayal was complete and total as far as I was concerned. She was no longer my wife. We only needed to finish the paperwork. What a terrible way to end things.

"One question for you. Did you ever really love me, or maybe it was all just goddamn bullshit? You had to know what your little escapade was going to do to me. I am actually surprised that you still chose him. That tells me that you obviously don't have any respect for me, and I wasted my time giving you one last chance. All communication from here on out is through the lawyers. What a perfect piece of shit you have become. Take a good look at your former husband. It will be the last time you ever see me. Fuck you forever slut! Have a nice day. You will be served again in the states. Sign it, or I will let the lawyers have their fun with you. I have some long enough lovely videos and glossy 8 by 10s of you and dickless here. What a miserable fucking cunt you turned out to be." The way she acted turned my stomach.

"Goodbye," I said it dispassionately, but I was anything but! I got up and got my ass out of there. As the door was closing, I heard her screaming. Too little, too late, too bad, roll the credits, our movie was done. I ran down the hall to get away from the skank. My wife had betrayed me and my heart was broken, but I had done everything I could do to save our marriage. It was time to get the fuck out. I had a job to do.

"Wait, Rick wait-" she was screaming. Fuck the bitch. The door was closed. In more ways than one, the door was closed. Permanently! I made my way to the rooftop with five minutes to spare. I was broken all over again. But she had actually made my decision lots easier by her actions and her response. I had gone the last mile to give her her last chance and she shit on my love for her. Fuck the doctor and fuck the bitch. Wait until she gets her little surprise party!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Up on the hotel roof, "After the helo ride to the airport that doesn't exist, onto a jet that isn't there, and a fast flight (except for the midair refuel that won't take place) you will be back in D.C. You will be at a weekly poker game losing money. Are we clear?" He was going over the plan one more time. I was chatting with my local contact, just catching up. It's always good to go over the plan, even if it's a simple one. Hell, it was my own plan, but it is still good to go over the particulars.

"Got you some real Colombian coffee. Sounds like you need some. I'm sorry that things didn't work out. All this effort for nothing!" He said to me. He handed me a cup of really good coffee.

"Oh no. It was for something. I can honestly say that I was willing to do anything for her, to go the extra mile-" I was trying to put lipstick on my soon to be divorced pig (metaphorically speaking) when my friend interrupted.

"-More like what? Six thousand miles extra. Your wife had her chances. Some woman from the state department was down there. Diedre Kline had a little chat with her this afternoon. I think she told your wife that you would never accept her bullshit, and she had better straighten up and fly right. It did not end well. Local cops showed up. Cost thirty thousand dollars to keep it quiet. So your wife was warned multiple times. After the chit chat, Deirdre flew back to DC. She doesn't like your wife at all." No kidding. She despises my soon to be ex. I knew who she was. She was my CIA and special forces buddy. She... she loved me and I loved her, but except for some oral sex, which was fantastic by the way, she and I had never consummated our love for each other. I was still married to an illusion. Well that illusion was gone now. This was war now. Something I had a passing acquaintance with.

"I had to try. I was still in love with her then. Now that I have seen her in his room naked...and she didn't want to come back... well that's it then. I gave her one last chance. She has always loved me, but now I see her feelings for me... are gone. Done and finished. But at least I have made the effort. I feel like I have moved heaven and earth to get my ass down here... for nothing. Shit, shit, shit." I was still upset about losing my wife to a piece of shit doctor who moonlights as a predator. I really enjoyed punching his lights out. I should have killed him. But I would have created too many loose ends.

"I'm so sorry. I..." he shut up. I motioned it was really ok.

"It is what it is. I can't make her love me again. Hey, we had a pretty good run. We have two beautiful, wonderful kids. Lot's of good years together. I wouldn't trade that for anything. Time to go, move on. Life goes on. At least I tried my best. Thank you for all your hard work and effort on my behalf. Is that the chopper? Wow, that's really quiet." The chopper was in whisper mode, and hardly made any noise at all! We shook hands. I owed him now. That's the way it works. The left hand always washes the right. Favors for favors. I was in his debt now. I'm not sure if the case buys me anymore favors or not, but who knows. I wonder what's in the fuckin' thing?

"Don't forget the case. Do not forget. You are the Mushroom. Kept in the dark in bullshit. Your company contact is 'butter'. She also knows your mother's maiden name is 'Goldstone'."

"My mother's maiden name was Warren."

"Not today it's not. Just remember 'Goldstone'. If she says Warren, abort the hand off and try not to get killed. You understand me? If she says anything but Goldstone, she is not one of us! Got it? Take the Glock to keep you company. Try not to use it. Too many loose ends. I hate loose ends." Does everyone say that?

"I got it. Crystal clear, no Goldstone, no hand off. Don't use my Glock unless I have to. Call when I get back to the land of milk and honey. No loose ends.Too bad I was never here, 'cause the coffee is excellent!" I said.

"So you're one of us now? Company man?" He asked.

"Don't know what you are talking about. I am retired."

"Good man. Good answer too. Careful with the case. Goldstone! See you around."

I was on the chopper and the pilot just said "Hi, get comfy Colonel.. " The chopper was dark except for the instruments. I got back into my flight suit. I was going back home, but my dirty cheating wife was not coming back home with me. EVER. It just sucked. I had given her every opportunity to be my wife again and she chose the creep over me. So be it. At this point, I was gonna "Ditch the Bitch" for sure now. I had really tried. God knows that I have tried and tried. I have to try to put it behind me. Put her behind me. I'm gonna miss the fucking bitch. Aw fuck it. It is what it is.

~~~~~~~~

Washington was waiting for my arrival. Guess who was my contact? I did not need any codes or maiden names. Diedra was horny, and so was I, so we just needed her bed. Her hotel room was nice and close by. Thank goodness for small favors. She and I made up for lost time. I had wanted her for years, and she felt the same for me. Her nipples were hard as rocks. She sucked me hard and she jumped up on top! We only had one hour. She had to get back to the company boys at Langley, and I had to get to the poker game quickly for my alibi, so she and I fucked like rabid bunnies. I felt free. For the first time in quite some time, I was just...free! She exploded in her orgasm and two seconds later I filled her with my jism. We kissed and kissed. Then she had to go, and I had to go as well. I gave her the case, and she handed me a thick Manila envelope. We kissed and hugged one more time and that was it.

"You gotta know by now. I am deeply in love with you Rick. I guess I always have been. I am sorry about your pain and your divorce, but I must be truthful... I am so happy to get another shot at loving you! It's like my prayers have been answered. I am going to love you as much as you will let me." She beamed at me.

"Dee, I gotta be honest here. I do love you. I am also involved with two younger women who absolutely love me and need me. I don't know what to do about that. This all came out when I got the letter. Leslie next door is in a seriously abusive relationship with her so-called husband. He makes her fuck other men. She is afraid of him. And the other woman is Jenny Harshly, her husband abandoned her and her two small children. He wiped her out. She begged me to take her in. She has been in love with me for years and years, and she is in a lot of trouble. She has promised to love me and take care of me till she is dead. Would you be amenable to sharing me? I want to take care of all of you, and I suspect that the two women being so beautiful and young will probably find younger men and leave me. That only leaves you."

"What makes you think I want to hang around a broken down has-been like you? Maybe I'll find a good young man myself?" Dee said with a straight face.

"Yeah, what was I thinking. Well thank you for your honesty. I love you." I turned to go.

"RICK! You move one more step and I will shoot your ass! Get over here and kiss me you asshole. I am totally in love with you. If I gotta share you with two bimbos, so be it. I have a bit of a confession for you, maybe you won't want me. I am bisexual. I like girls too. So this would not be any kind of a problem for me, but maybe for them. Why don't we all get together and fuck? See if you can do three sexy beautiful women? We will be feeding you viagra sandwiches and cialis shakes!" She beamed at me.

"At least I will die with a big smile on my face! I love you so much Deirdre. I always knew about the bisexuality. I never thought that we would need to discuss it. We were usually trying to not get killed and complete our mission if I recall correctly."

"So the new mission is to make Rick and three women happy and loved. Piece of cake. I gotta go. So do you. Kiss me one more for the road, I love you Rick" we kissed like we meant it!

"I love you too. Bye for now." I was outa there. Pretty damn good loving considering this was our first time! We jammed a lot into that one hour.

I- 495 was almost empty at night, so I was moving, but I slowed down. No speeding. Too many damn traffic cameras. Too many loose ends! Gotta blend in. Take it easy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Man, it's good to see you! Did you take care of the package?" My friend Robert asked me.

"Yup. It's on it's way over to Langley... I gave her the case. She gave me a packet of dirty pictures." Surprise surveillance from the agency. Damn crystal clear photos I did not want to see. My wife's fun with doctor dickless. I had looked. Fuck me. It still hurts badly inside. She... betrayed me so badly.

"They're for the lawyer. You were not supposed to look at them." My friend Rob was trying to make it easy on me, but I had to look for myself. It had only hardened my growing resolve. There was no marriage. She had killed it, and she did not care about me at all. I guess I just don't have what it was that she was looking for. The way she fucked that bastard left the taste of death in my mouth.

"Too late! But Dee and I took care of business. It's all good." It was not all good at all. But Deirdre was fantastic. Funny how things worked out. I went from having a dirty skank that didn't love me, to having three women who would each do anything for me. They might fuck me to death, but I would die with a big smile on my face!

"Hey I almost forgot to tell you. You have a lunch meeting on Friday with the undersecretary." He said that so casually, like it was nothing.

"Me? Under Secretary Of defense? DOD? That undersecretary? Why? I'm just another retired veteran." I was just a bit nervous. Scared actually.

"Yes. That undersecretary, in line to be THE Secretary Of Defense! She is grateful for what you did, and she is shocked that you put your little project together in a matter of hours. Apparently she has been watching you for quite a few years now, and she wants to chat with you. You lucky bastard!" He gave me the eye, like I had won the lottery or something.

"Hey, you put it all together." Which was true.

"I didn't jump out of a perfectly good airplane at sixty thousand feet in the air in the middle of the night and land on a rooftop! I just made a few calls to the folks that you told me to. And here we are. Semi-successful!"

"Hey, it is what it is. May I crash on your sofa? I have had a really rough day. That case made me feel very wary. " I asked.

"Sure, go lay down. I'm still gonna whup your ass at poker, but not now. I'll get you up n' ready for lunch at the pentagon. Hey, are you gonna bang her?"

"Am I gonna bang the undersecretary of defense? Are you insane?"

"I gotta say, she's a damn fine looking woman. She's married to another nice looking woman too. And if she is good enough for the president, then..."

"-Allegedly! The woman was convicted without a trial as far as I'm concerned."

"She still has her job. She's not gonna get any more invites to the White House parties anytime soon! I just want to know if you are going to ball her. I won't tell anyone, you know that!" We both laughed our heads off. "But I want details. I live vicariously through you, you ghost you." He was laughing at me like a hyena.

"I don't think I have to worry about banging her. She's a vagitarian you know." I knew she had a blonde wife.

"Just because she PREFERS eating vaginas don't mean she doesn't want some colonel meat now and then. I'm betting you a dollar that she wants to taste your meat." He was just going on and on.

"You have finally lost it. She probably has no idea who I am, or what I have ever accomplished. I've been in the private sector for years now."

"The outfit that you have worked for as an analyst for all these years is a subsidiary of THE company. You guys do what we cannot do by law. You have been kept on the mostly sunshine side of the business. The black operations side is very, very quiet and quick. Care to guess who they really report to?"

"If you say the undersecretary then I will scream. It makes no sense. Shouldn't my company report to the CIA then? I mean directly? This chain of command is all wrong from top to bottom."

"Your company is a liaison. It's a go between for the agency and the defense department. But on very important stuff, neither the agency or DOD is calling the shots. Want to take a wild guess who it is? Don't forget, you guys do what we're not allowed to do. Stuff with no paper trail. Everything is strictly on a real need-to-know basis, and then you better forget everything. Jumogatu is a good example."

"He died of a heart attack in a hospital," I said rather unknowingly. "Didn't he?" I just had a rethink. Woah, what if he had help?

"Sure he did."

"You're saying we had something to do with it?"

"Now why would I say that?" he said with a look.

"I had no idea. I know he and the US were not on the best of terms, and he was courting both the Chinese and the Russians for nuclear weapons development. You're saying my company, on the black ops side, took him out?"

"I'm not gonna say two words about it. He died of natural causes." His smirk was undeniable. Damn! We did that?