Just Once, Hell Yeah I Do Mind

~~~~~~~~~

I got a call on my 'special phone' which was a gift from the government. As far as I knew, it had not yet been breached or compromised by bad guys.

Nonetheless we spoke in code words in case they were bugged or overheard.

"The southern conference has begun." He said.

"Do you need me there?" I was ready to go. I wanted to be with the men.

"No, no, negative. You must be seen up in D.C. in public! Positively seen by police or officials and plenty of folks. Make sure you get seen by lots of people.

"Why the worry?" I asked.

"Management might disapprove of the plan" meaning that they would deny it, and pull the plug.

"Oh shit. Listen, I don't want to compromise anyone. If we need to cancel the conference to protect anyone's... um job, then that's what we need to do.

"Fuck them. They have not said 'No' yet. We will be done and home in bed before they get off their dead asses. Hey, I remember you used to say something."

"What?" I asked rather stupidly.

"No guts, no glory!" I could hear him smiling 5,000 miles away!

"Why don't we go live? We got the guy at CNN and the crazy girl over at Fix news. Nobody is likely to challenge us about prerogatives if you guys get enough info and uh, 'evidence'... You know, get out in front of this shitstorm. That bunch of actors is associated with the cartel? Shit I should not have said that. I should mention there is a way, way bigger conference taking place right now only sixty clicks away. Big blue bird is selling a bunch of two thousand pound hammers. Mean green flying machine is still running our talent show. We are getting some assist from a pack of sea scouts and a dozen squids. They have their own fish to fry, but we love to help each other out."

"Do those guys need assets or a taxi home?"

"Mean green flying machine will have four regular and four back up taxis to do just that, if the need arises. We are separated but going to assist as needed. They are offering us assistance if we need it. They are going after the same black hats as we are."

"We aren't going after the big fish, just the small fry. They have been quite annoying with their snatch and grab operation. The big swingin' dicks over at state want them retired with prejudice. They want them gone." He explained, but I already knew.

"The big black hats?" I was teasing him.

"No, no. That's for the other conference! The ones we are involved with are just the sub-contractors to the really bad guys. They provide trucking and enforcement duties. I don't think they will be missed. They should not have kidnapped a bunch of 'heroic' doctors and nurses. We are going to slap their hands. They will be spanked sorta permanently. Gotta go. Party is starting. Make some noise up there. Be seen! A lot!"

"Yes sir. And thank our gang for me as well."

"They are glad to assist. So am I sir. I will always be happy to attend one of your picnics. Gotta go." he was off to the battle.

~~~~~~~~~

Ten hours later, I received another call on the coded line. This time he was part frantic, part ecstatic! He was happy as could be.

"It's done. Fifty two of the sub-contractors were fired with prejudice. Extreme prejudice. We uh.. Got a couple of trucks by accident. They are all unemployed now. Every single one of the small fry.

(The bad guys are all dead. All the ones who kidnapped my wife and the other doctors and nurses are toast.)

"Wait, what about our sales reps? Every one gonna make their bonus?" (I was asking if all our guys are ok)

"No problem! Our team was only fifteen reps.(there were only fifteen soldiers in our group) We all made big final sales numbers! We are all ready for long vacation" (Our guys were untouched and took out all the bad guys! Vacation means total victory.)

"Jesus, that was so fast!" I said

"It was easy. Drop, pop and chop. We got two boxes of um... medicine, and two full boxes of lettuce... The very best kind of lettuce." (They intercepted two tractor trailers of drugs and two trucks full of money!)

"The med team is meeting US suits from the embassy right now. They are coming home. This might go public if the price is right. (the higher ups want to let the local government take public credit for the whole operation) Our guys are already on big green flying machine (choppered out). They came across a few bad guy trucks, well... we liberated them. That lettuce is fresh and delicious."

(The money is non sequential and unmarked)

"How much lettuce?"(money)

"You wouldn't believe it. 2bbn. (They estimate two billion dollars in the two trailers)Thirty two pallets of lettuce. That's thirty-two wrapped lettuce in each box! All fresh and tasty. It might be more than that. We're turning one of the medicine (drugs) over to the government for photo ops. We have already torched the other. After that it's not our problem."

"You're kidding! 2bbn??? With a B?"

"Yes with a big B. The big black hats were moving the whole damned operation to the mountains, at least temporarily. By the way, this whole thing was your idea! You get the finders fee. You should thank your slut wife for cheating on you.You get 10%. Do the math! Leave one of your house doors unlocked for the next few days. Buy a safe. A really big safe. The lettuce will be in your basement freezer."

"I don't have one." I said.

"You will now. Maybe TWO OR THREE! You turning it down?"

"Hell no. Need something for retirement. You want to split?

"Already have a share. It's uncounted. ITS PRISTINE." (He means that it can't be traced, and it's all unmarked.)

"All the reps get a share. And the bus drivers too (the soldiers and the pilots as well)

"Do you know the numbers on the sale?" (How much total)

"No idea. But its a lot. A whole LOT! IT'S UNMARKED!!! Don't forget the parameters. Keep to the protocol. You should thank your slut ex wife. She made this all possible. Oh yeah, by the way. Her doctor dickless took a few rounds in the gunfight."

"Couldn't happen to a nicer guy." I said.

"He is having a very bad day! He can still operate, but he won't bother another married woman ever. Terrible thing those stray bullets. Must really hurt to lose the family jewels and your manhood to a stray bullet or two. Or twenty! Yikes that's gotta hurt!... About the lettuce...You remember the s-o-p for big tips right? No flashy cars or houses, no big spending at all for a few years. Once the statute of limitations has passed, do whatever you want to. Ok? "

"Thank you so much. I know the drill. This was a nice surprise."

"Not for the bad guys! Just so you know, the local police and army are going to get all the credit, none of the cash. Yeah. Merry Christmas in April. Don't forget to leave the house unlocked. You will get a very special delivery. You might be getting one or two of those metal clothes closets. We have to get together and have a drink after the storm. Hey I heard a rumour that you might come out of your retirement. True? You could still work for mean green, or hire on here with the company. We will always love to have you at the party." (The Army Intel or the CIA both want him back)

"I need to think about it. I kinda look forward to it. Maybe? Tell the boys I said great work and we're all fired. Time to retire." I said that and meant it too!

"Not me. I still fly a desk. But it is nice to have options. Nice options. Hasta la vista. You're buying the beer." He said.

"Cheapskate!" We both laughed.

-Call ended-

~~~~~~~~~~

So there was a secret operation to take care of the big wigs of the cartel with a bunch of 2000 pound bombs. That operation was only 35 miles from the search and rescue operation for the doctors and nurses. Just by sheer luck the big battle pushed four trucks of drugs and money into the hands of the rescue team, who got them in a firefight. In the end, all the kidnappers were killed, the hostages recovered, and the money was taken, probably by chopper, back to an undisclosed location in the USA. Everyone who took part in the operation got a share of the spoils. We just weren't supposed to spend it! At least for a while. My soon to be ex wife was still trying to recover from her gang bang and subsequent recovery and removal from the program. She was undergoing surgery for her cooter and asshole, which had gotten quite a good workout. She would live. Not sure about the quality of life for her though.

~~~~~~~~

I had to move quickly. I flew back home and rented a truck with a lift gate. Until I got another house, I parked the two freezers and metal clothes closet in a storage unit. I took a valise filled with cash and made a quick trip to the Cayman Islands to open a few new accounts. I hitched a ride on a military aircraft to Puerto Rico. It was just a quick flight to the Caymans from there. I started up a small business (on paper) with the express reason to pay the US taxes on some of the money. Whatever was left I could use for whatever.

I helped Jenny Harshly by basically buying her house. She was very appreciative! She was trying to suck my testicles dry! She said she was gonna have my baby. I believe her. She says she loves me, and she wants to fuck me every chance she gets. She might kill me yet. She seems determined to make me happy, and pleasure me as much as she possibly can! She finally went home to take care of her kids and do her chores. I was a bit relieved as I could finally get some well deserved R and R.

After all that, all I wanted to do was get some sleep on my brand new bed. I burned the old one, as I did not know if my ex had used it for her hobby or not. I was asleep when I heard a blood curdling scream. I ran out of the house in my shorts and heard the scream again. It was Leslie. I ran over to the house and into the back door. Ahead of me (I was in the kitchen/ dining room area was Leslie on the couch, naked and tied up. Her husband had his fist back, about to give her another shot. There were three other naked men in the room. I went in full bore. This was going to be bloody. I grabbed his arm and spun him around while twisting. His arm broke clean. Two of the guys were huge. I cleaned the one guys clock with a step kick to the chin, then the second one got a short jab into his wind pipe. He was done. The third guy had a small pistol, a twenty-two which he fired at me. I luckily dodged a bullet and I took the weapon from his broken hand. I fixed his wagon as his balls were rearranged very painfully. I dialed 911 and waited for the cops. I found a camera running and then I untied Leslie. The cops and ambulance arrived. I awaited the onslaught with the door open. I figured I would be arrested for certain.

At first, the cops did not believe me, but Leslie backed up my story. The four guys were all hauled off three in ambulances. I took Leslie home with me after the hospital released her. I insisted on a rape kit and blood test for date rape drugs. We would know the answers tomorrow for sure, but I was pretty sure of the test outcome. I got my overworked lawyer on the phone and wanted advice on extricating Leslie from this dangerous situation. Her husband might make bail later on that day! He said just take her home and lock the doors, or go to a hotel for a while. He asked me if I wanted security. I thought, wait. Don't I have security for my new job? Meanwhile I just got my old sidearm out and made sure it was locked and loaded, just in case. Funny how laid back he was with me, but such a dick in private with Leslie. No matter. If he tried anything I was quite ready to put him down permanently.

Leslie slept in my arms. She clutched at me in terror when I had to go take a leak. She wound up accompanying me to the toilet and even held my dick as I pissed. She loved it! Her giggle as she held my dick peeing was priceless!

Leslie was at first very upset with my taking care of Jenny and her two children. I got Leslie into the hospital when we got home to see if her reproductive system could be fixed, even if she was not going to be with me. I wanted to document her bruises and scars from her husband. I was wondering if she liked kids, but you gotta see her with Jenny's little ones. She is so incredibly happy. I have a huge amount of fun playing with the kids. I have been accused of being a big kid myself. Oh well, if the shoe fits...

I had a very productive chat with Leslie's husband, and she and him are going to get a divorce. I did have some one on one time with him to discuss my hand to hand fighting skills. He did not exactly like me putting him in the hospital, but so what? If he lays a hand on her it will be the last thing he ever does. I will see to that personally. He knows it too. Leslie has declared that she will never ever leave me. In fact, between the three of them, I'm never going to be alone again! There are worse things in life than being taken good care of by loving and caring women.

Jenny won't leave me alone. She accepts that I have to take care of Leslie. When the two women spoke and compared notes the cried in each other's arms! Neither of them were happy with me taking in Deirdre. Not like I gave them a choice. We both spoke to them about our time in the army, and almost getting killed and so forth. Deirdre surprised me by telling them how crushed she was when I got back with my cheating bitch wife. She hoped that I would dump her when I found out about the afternoon delights she had before work. Instead, I had forgiven the bitch... until now.

Dee felt it was her golden opportunity to be with me, and she would be with me no matter what. She surprised the girls when she admitted her bi- sexuality and I suspect that both of them had a bit of the same in them!

Deirdre has been my rock. She stands behind me 100%. She took retirement, sort of. She works for me now, as a direct hire to the Joint Chiefs. She loves me and I love her. She sorta helps keep the girls in line, sorta. It's like herding cats. Still have lots of fights, and then fantastic makeup sex. I guess she is like my executive wife! But with all that, we still find time to laugh and do fun things.

For myself, I thought I might keep my own house, and just buy out my wife's share. It was a nice house, and I had invested a lot of time and effort into the thing. I would have to bargain with her. She might want to buy me out! Meanwhile the divorce was in full swing! She kept calling me and begging me to talk to her. Fuck the bitch. Talk to my lawyer.

~~~~~~~~

I convinced my three women to come with me for a little month long vacation in Hawaii. I had to make sure we were all ok with it. I even managed to get Jenny's mom to come with us and I know she is looking forward to being with her grandchildren as much as possible. The place was staffed and the beach was very private. No clothes were needed! Me and three sex crazed woman in paradise! Oh fuck yeah. This was gonna be a very nice vacation!

My new life is always crazy busy, building my camp, having sex with the girls, picking staff, having more sex with the girls, taking care of the undersecretary who also has sex with the girls. I am pretty busy even though I am retired. The girls are calling me. I got a job to do.

~~~~~~~~

The next day after the kidnapping and firefight and release, my almost-ex-wife's face and the good doctor's were all over the news, as word of their capture and release went public. She was left with the problem of explaining exactly why she was in the doc's room, and why her husband was divorcing her. The sex pics came out, given to the press anonymously. The shit hit the fan. Doctors Without Borders went into damage control and immediately terminated their contracts with each of them. They were recalled immediately to the US. The surgeon was summarily fired from the hospital and she was demoted. She was served on US soil as soon as she was off the plane, in full view of the reporters. They had a field day with her. She went home and found her keys didn't work. I had sold the house to a new holding company, and we were going to spar over it for sure. She was furious. Her things were in her own storage unit. By the way, I owned the holding company! She could kiss my ass. I let the lawyers work out the details. I was not speaking to the skank, unless required by the judge.

~~~~~~~~

I wrote her a letter. I was gonna go on vacation and have fun with the three women. Well actually five women if you count my boss and her wife! I am going to have sex with four or five women who love me, just once, If you don't mind. Well maybe not just once, and maybe even if you do mind!! Too fucking bad if you do mind after the tryst she had. She had put me through the wringer. I was gonna go have a wonderful time with my girlfriends and my new, sexy boss. Turnabout is fair play.

We were officially separated and awaiting the divorce to be final, so she could go fuck herself. I neglected to say anything about where we were going. Fuck the bitch! Hope she likes my letter as much as I enjoyed hers. I just got tired of all her bullshit. I gave my lawyer his marching orders, and me and the three women in my life (not counting my new boss) flew to Hawaii. The sex was just fantastic. I was taking viagra or Cialis every day and fucking the women's brains out. The girls all got along famously! I suspect that all of the women were bi sexual, since there were no complaints about all the women in my life and my bed. They were fucking each other as well as trying to fuck me to death!

Best of all, there was no phone service at all on the small island. It was to be a real vacation, not a working one! Two weeks later, the amended divorce paperwork arrived by courier. I signed her out of my house, out of my mind and out of my life. I hope she and I never see each other again. She wanted this, well she got it. I got back to doing nasty fun things! I wondered if the undersecretary was gonna enjoy my three girls. She and her wife were coming over for a little barbecue. A naked barbecue! I was gonna have sex with five women at the same time! I should have had a viagra sandwich. I better check my life insurance. I think they all want to fuck me to death!