All Comments on 'Katie Ch. 02'

I'm glad to see you are continueing this story. It is fantastic & I can't wait to read the next part.

I think I just came.

do a rewrite and put everything in order it gets hard to read when you keep jumping back and forth when i read the first part i thought what the hell did i miss smething in the last chapter or did the writer forget how he left the last chapter really a stupid way to write a story start at the begining and procede don't jump around very hard to follow and i kept losing interest trying to figure out what you were doing

good story..like how the sister took control(older sisters/younger brothers) truly belong as one..Please continue with another chapter and disregard the negative feedback...kisses.....

Ch. 1 definitely reads like it needs an editor; Ch. 2 does not. The passion of sex, whether it is between strangers or brother and sister, depends upon anticipation. Rather than having sex as the sole basis for the story, try to work on describing a relationship where the eventual sexual encounter becomes the natural culmination of the couple's interaction.

Above all else, keep writing.

touching and tender, right on the money.

I like your use of flashbacks as a tool to create a detailed setting and mood, but the way you started this story WAS a little confusing because of the way the last one ended. You should definitely keep writing! You're character's relationships were developed incredibly well, but I think you could develop the characters themselves more clearly. I got some of that with the brother, but not with Katie or Claire (I guess Claire just needed some more physical description more than development, maybe?).

Great story but why the delay in posting the next chapter.

I found it a little confusing to start with but worked around that and the flashbacks did give more insight and meaning to the story. Work with your editor and disregard the negative feedback.

Right more.

Style and approach. To visit Taboo with such respect, in every sense, and keep it sharp, tense but hot, fresh, . . requires exquisite Skill. Well done. However while the Claire part was essential it needed a bit more of Her before all the Glorious sex scene details. This was maybe you pandering to the semi-neanderthal. The story offers significant development scope. . keep people guessing, and so alert. The english, not quite purist, has healthy personalisation. There is a slight disjoint chapter 1 to 2. Built upon the date space between. You could have set this right in your healthy pre-amble. Also be aware that when writing at length Always check where the readers are in terms of development, even in that central obvious theme, and concluding wow. It's all in your head till the last letter is out. Never edit backwards on points still to emerge. 'Fit' has to always have an eminent regard to where you're at; as opposed to what's to come. In making such public comment, or comment public, none raised is a unique failing. It remains that your writing has original quality. Rare. Ether applause deserved.

Your fantasies are touching, and I enjoyed skimming through the two chapters. Your heart and imagination are far more advanced than your writing skill, but obviously there aren't too many professional writers on this web site, and you are the equal of many writers on Literotica. Some day you will learn the literary conventions and shortcuts that you now violate, but few of your readers will know the diference. In the meantime, count me as one of your fans.

written in an unique style. Thank you.

Great i love ur style.

Wish you would have continued this story

the emotions are hotting up very nicely but we haven't got to the incest yet. Hope you are going to finish this.

It feels unfinished.

You have to finish this just don't add anyone to their love affair.