Katie Kant Breaks Out Ch. 02

Well, last night was quite the sexual incident, wasn't it? All I wanted to do was to try on the proposed Halloween Hooker outfit and show my roommate, Kevin, just how bad of an idea it was going to be. However, I was unaware that our friend Teddy G was in the house, so I gave everyone a Halloween trick and a treat, I guess.

And OMG, shame on Teddy G for the way he treats and speakers to hookers. I can understand that a hooker may have an understanding of a few things that may happen, but come on Teddy G, I don't think Farmers really plant the corn kernels that deep. Plus, he stroked off at me as he was leaving so, I know for a fact that he can't plant his seeds all that deep.

Now that I barely escaped having wheat grow out of every hole in my body, it was time to remind Kevin that I still haven't agreed to be his "hooker date" for the biggest Halloween party in Middleton. And we're going to have that conversation just as soon as he gets out of the cold shower because half of my makeup is still on and he has that morning wood thing going on. And believe me, last night was a one-time thing and one-time only.

Oh, and I sent Teddy G's wife a muffin basket because without her phone call, I would have been plowed for sure.

"Alright Kevin, now that we both agree that last night never be repeated, let's talk about this costume idea you have stuck in your head."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's not carve anything in stone about last night just yet."

"Shut it and listen. I love the corset and I'm keeping the corset, but it's just not something I can wear out in public. As your eyes will remind you, it stops right above the panty waistband and leaves everything south of that fully exposed."

"So, you agree to try something else?"

"Maybe, but the sexy nurse, the slutty school girl and the French Maid costumes are tacky and way overdone. So, what do you think about a questionable College Coed?"

"Maybe. We'll look online later. Are you going to breakfast at Katie Kant?"

"Will that bother you?"

"Not at all. Did you post the audio recordings of your dirty talk last night?"

"Of course, silly. $4.95 as is and $8,95 if they want it personalized. $300 if the want it personalized and to be in the room as I record it."

I wanted to give his request to role play as his Halloween date the best chance I could so I sat down on the deck and researched a few costume websites for ideas. The first thing I came up with was a Cruella Deville two tone long wavy wig because who doesn't want that on their closet shelf, right?

Then I went on to my original issue of covering my front. Girls have that nice smooth crotch and they have so many choices. I on the hand have a little something to hide, so the leotard body suits were out. Hot as hell, but out, for now anyways.

So, I moved on to the skirts which ranged from a headband to well, those are still pretty short even for Halloween, but at least they extended below my problem. And I think the small red and black pleated skirt could work as a hooker or a college coed, so we'll give it a try. And because every single costume featured on the website pages demanded it, fishnets will do as well. Bunny style fishnets, that is.

"Hey, ah, Katie Kant. How's the costume research coming and are you saying "yes" because you're doing research on websites?"

"I'm just looking, but I may have a few ideas in the works and that means, no, I'm not saying yes just yet. However, while you're here, I just wanted to tell you that I finished carving the stone tablets that clearly say that we will not go any further than we did last night. The stone tablets are in the flower garden. I call them the Eight Commandants."

"Ah, eight commandants?"

"Well, you already did one thing last night and there was that other thing later, you know."

"Oh, yeah, you mean when you sucked my cum out of your wrecked panties?"

"Never mind all that. 10 minus two equals 8 and that's all we need to talk about. However, you could at least say if you liked it or not. I mean, you wrecked me pretty good, not that I was trying to peek."

"It was amazing, actually, which brings me to next step."

"Ah, please read the tablets in the garden and go get your work out in. I apparently have laundry to do on the delicate cycle."

Back to my research. The stilettos are out, for sure, and thick heeled boots are in. The bunny leotard might be back in as long as it looks good with the pleated skirt. And no, not the headband skirt, that's pure girl territory. So, I ordered a few things and figured I could look around the other Halloween pop up stores in the area for things that I may have missed.

Then I rejected a text request. I forgot that Teddy G works out with Kevin and apparently Teddy G wants to hire Kandy Kant for a football party this weekend while his wife is visiting her parents and that isn't happening. Besides, I already called the French Maid Servant costume as tacky, so I can't go back.

Like most things in life, time flew by, the party was barely a week away and I had to give my roommate an answer. I already decided that I would be his fake date, but he doesn't know that yet. All he knows is that he doesn't want a super hero or villain slut by his side, so hooker it is, but the slut costume will be my choice and he will have to deal with it. I narrowed my choices are down and ordered everything.

Yes, I'll be the cheap street worker hooker, just as Kevin wants, but with a skirt and not the corset, which looks so good hanging in my closet, by the way. I still have to decide if I'm going with fishnets or nylon stockings and a garter belt.

As for Teddy G's football watch party, which I'm not going to, I found a sexy Football Umpire costume that doesn't requires maximum exposure of boobs that I don't have, but does have some whip ass thigh high striped socks that seem to be all me. The romper shorts might be a little risky, but with two pairs of panties, I might just pull it off. Or get called out, either way, the matching shoes are absolutely crazy and have thicker heels that I might just be able to walk in. If I were going to wear to Teddy G's sports party, I think it would be a hit.

And for good measure or a side note as they say, I bought a Fiery Lil Red costume that leans towards the goth world because I know of some underground parties around town and it will certainly get me a discount at the door.

"Hey, Katie Kant, you need to give me an answer. Are you doing this or what?"

"I'll do it, but I'll do it my way and I don't think you will be disappointed. However, are you seriously going to wear a sleeveless shirt and call that a costume?"

"Well, don't forget my pimp vest. Are you coming to Teddy G's tonight? It should be a good game."

"Oh no, Teddy G had me hypnotized once and that's enough of that. Ah, go Sparrows???"

"LOL, it's the Mud Hens vs Dirt Devils. Later."

If I was going to the game party, I would call up the TV Guide to calculate when the 1st Quarter might be over because everybody always say that the 1st Quarter score doesn't mean anything, but it gives the guys a chance to have some beers.

And if I were to go, I'll wear a mask because I have one that matches the black and white stripes of the Umpire uniform. The mask could prevent me from getting called out. It will keep me from blowing the whistle around my neck and anything else for that matter, but hiding my identity is more important than wrapping my lips around something and blowing. That's if I was going, that is.

I also thought that if I carried around the beer in the 12-Pack boxes and held it out towards the guys, then technically I didn't actually "serve" them anything.

Now even though I'm pissed at the costume designers who think every one of their customers have boobs the size of a small car, I am grateful for this cool Umpire hat. Sometimes wigs need a little help or in other words, sometimes I need a little help with wigs.

Hah, look at me. I hate that rating system, but I think you guys would be kind to me today. Boy, if I was going to the game watch party, I would have a line up for beer for sure.

I would also use these last 45 minutes to shave and get my concealer on, if I were going to go out tonight. And LOL, no one goes out with some amount of eyeliner, silly. LOL, no, as much as I thought about it, one white eyeliner and one black eyeliner would look weird.

My advice to you, if you were going to "game of the week" party would be that you need a good catch phrase. Something like "these shoes may not be made for walking, but these thigh high socks are made for working" or whatever you like. I would also recommend one shot of raspberry vodka for a boost in confidence. Chilled, of course.

And by the way, seeing how you've known Teddy G for quite a while, don't bother knocking. Just take that second shot of vodka you brought with you and turn the door knob. But, be polite and give the crowd a fake tip of the hat as you head straight to the refrigerator. I mean, the matching hat is really cool.

So, there I was, dressed as a sexy Umpire in house full of drunk guys, which is alright as long as my thigh high socks keeps their attention. As if they knew I was coming, there was a refrigerator full of 12-Packs. So, I grabbed one, rip the top corner off and ignored the hooping and hollering from the living room. Wait, I couldn't ignore the increased noise level so I popped my head in the living room and spoke.

"Oh, did the Dirty Hens score or do you guys like my uniform and by that, I mean don't these socks look?"

"OMG Katie, we're the Mud Hens and we're playing the Dirty Devils. Now, bring us that beer and show us what you got. And introduce yourself around."

Fine, it's beer service time. My introduction will be simple, I just have repeat twelve times

"Hi, I'm Katie Kant. Cold one? Snacks will follow."

Huh, what do you know? More than half of them grabbed a little extra. And do you know? The world didn't come to an end. And by the way, just as a simple poll, they're groping me, so they are the gay ones, right?

"There, everyone has a fresh cold one. Now you guys enjoy the game and go, ah, Squirrels?"

"Hens, the Mud Hens. Now, give a us twirl and by all means, prop your leg up on the coffee table."

"You hush now Teddy G. Most of your guests know exactly how tight these socks. And you can remind Melvin that I'm serving chips, not goose. You can also remind him that this uniform is a romper and a key card is required to gain entry."

"Ahh, Katie Kant, the boys are just having a little fun."

"That's enough Teddy G. Now, boys, don't let Teddy G fill your heads with all of his lies about how he had me in a corner last week. It would be silly of you to believe that I begged him to spit his sex drool in my mouth, wouldn't it?"

"That's enough from you Katie Kant. These guys can't handle the truth, but my aim was perfect, wasn't it?"

"Well, old blind man, I was directly underneath you with my mouth wide open. I mean, you couldn't miss, right? Enough of this foolishness boys. I'll grab some more snacks and no, boys, Teddy G did not get the chance to lay all of his wood on me because his wife interrupted us. And OMG, just in time. And by the way guys, about that spit thing, well, I have a little freak in me. I'll be back. Oh, look at that guy run, go Quails, yay."

"For the last time, we support the Hens. The Mud Hens."

"Well, if you're going to get all huffy about it, Larry, maybe you should help me put some chips in bowls. You know, to make sure my Mud Hen tail feathers stay in line."

Before I made my way into the kitchen area with Larry on my heels, I turned towards the living room and took a photo of something that is rarely seen. LOL, if these guys were anywhere else, they would not be sitting so close that their shoulders and legs touched. LOL, no way.

"So, Larry, are you going to continue being sassy with me all evening?"

"Probably, as long as it gets me in the kitchen alone with you. Which bowls?"

"Well, let's try the bowls that say "football" and "chips" and go from there. And as far as being alone in the kitchen, don't make me blow this whistle."

"Speaking of that."

"Shut it and fill the bowls. I'm taking another box of beer around. Now pull up my socks a little bit and try not to get a boner. After you fill the bowls, just leave them on the counter and I will come back and get them. If we can talk later, if you want to. Did you want to talk to me later?"

"Give me the finger and I come a running. Wait, I mean, wave your hand and I'll follow you."

I don't know if the guys needed another beer yet, but I didn't present my thigh high socks good enough during the first service round, so I had to fix that. I mean, when have you ever seen such a sexy pair of socks on an Umpire? So, I grabbed a box of beer and started from the back row this time.

"Round two guys. And just like round one, grab a beer from the box and grab a piece of my ass, I guess. I'll be around to refill the chip bowls just as soon as Jimmy stops, well, stops what he's doing. Jimmy!"

Huh, what do you know? Jimmy found my full-length zipper too. And just like with Melvin, no key card, no entry or in other words, ahh, the beauty of a romper suit.

"That's enough Jimmy."

"Sorry Katie Kant. But Larry has a question, but he's too shy to ask. He just whispered to me."

"Oh really? He wasn't so shy 2 minutes ago in the kitchen. He still believes that goose is on the menu. But by all means, Larry, let's hear your question. And by the way, the move you made on me in the kitchen probably worked. We'll talk later."

"Well, are we gang banging you during half time? Or is this one of those college dorm blow job party lineup things?"

"Oh, Larry, you are so funny. There will be no gang banging today and do you really want to stand next to any of these guys with your puny dick out? And yes, I said dick. You are still years away from having a cock. Hey, wait, let's go with the lineup thing and you can stand in the middle, how's that sound? Teddy G, get me a tape measure, will you?"

LOL, that got the guys roaring and caused Larry to lower his head in shame. Which means, now I feel bad about it and he probably does have a little dick. I gave him a hand motion to follow me into the kitchen, again.

"Larry, I am so sorry about what I said. Please forgive me."

"Wow, that was brutal. However, what kind of hooker are you anyways? All I did was ask about your job duties."

"Stop with the hooker talk. I came of my own free will today to show off this cute costume and to pass out some beer. Nothing more and nothing less. And by the way, I never let Teddy G touch me and his cock isn't all that. It's thick as all get out, but the phrase balls deep, has very little meaning."

"Ah hah, I knew it."

"Exact tiger. Listen, I did say something truthful out there. I do have some freak in me."

"Meaning?"

"Well, I know you have had a few beers, so if you need to pee, maybe we can go behind the garage and maybe I'll hold it and aim it for you, after I drop off the chips, of course. Is that something you could handle, Larry?"

"That's freaky."

"So, yes?"

"Should I wait here or meet you outside?"

"Down that beer on the back deck and I'll be right with you."

Oh snap, there I was with two bowls of chips in my hands and one foot in my mouth. And there is Larry hoping he gets into my mouth because he still thinks this is a party hooker thing.

"Alright guys, chips for your bellies. I'll bring one more round of beer after I talk to Larry and calm him down. I know I shouldn't have said what I said and I have to make things right. But right after he's OK, we'll let the gang banging begin, LOL. No, seriously guys, laugh again, ah, now please."

LOL, guys and the smallest hint that I might not be joking. Silly boys.

I pulled the other foot out of my mouth as I made my way to the back deck and there Larry was, waiting, just like I told him to. In other words, he was supposed to be so embarrassed that he went home, but no, not Larry.

"Listen Larry, just because I have a fantasy doesn't mean I'm any good at it and by that, I mean maybe you should just remove your shorts because this will be my first time. And yes, I'm going to peek because I called you out and you're desperate to proof me wrong."

Huh, what do you know? Give a guy a 1/4 of a chance to drop his pants and boom, he's standing there in his boxers.

"Well, I will be sure to correct my mistake. Paulette was foolish to turn you down two weeks ago. Alright, here goes nothing, you face that way and I'll stand behind you and reach around. And yes, I will shake it dry for you."

Huh, what do you know? I do have a little freak in me because I was writing my name in the sand. And apparently, I have been missing out on some powerful streams because I don't drink a lot of beer.

Huh, what do you know? Shaking it dry is almost like jacking it off, only up and down.

"Alright then, I guess I can scratch that fantasy off the bucket list. Was that weird for you, Larry?"

"For a minute, but now it just feels great. I'm going to cum soon."

"No, you're not. This is just shaking it dry. This would make you cum."

Huh, what do you know? I'm stroking off Larry and the world is not coming to an end.

"Is my hand better than your hand Larry? Hey, maybe I can underline my name. OMG, you're tensing up, are you that close?"

"OMG, Katie Kant sure can please me. Ugh."

Well, let me throw in a oh snap here because Larry has some game and some balls too, because not only did I underline my name in the sand there was enough to create a fancy border.

"Listen, you need to ask Paulette out again. No one should walk around with balls this full. And if you're breathing, would you mind if I lick off your last drops? And by the way, you're going to call me, right?"

Oh, snap times ten. But the game has to play on as they say, so it was back in the house and a stare down by eleven very horny guys. LOL, what football game?

"Alright guys, there is a new plan. We're going to give Larry a few minutes to recover and then we're dumping the gang bang idea and going with the naked guy blow job lineup and Larry is first in line. Who wants to stand up against him and Teddy G, where is that tape measure and a camera?"

In other words, OMG, it was time for Katie Kant to go, but not before making it clear to each of guys personally that Larry does indeed have a cock and not a dick. I made my individual assessments by rubbing each of the eleven crotches and assigning one of those silly ratings to it.

LOL, Larry didn't win, but nobody was man enough to test my assessments.

I assured the crew that I would be back for the next game as long as proper notice was given.

End Katie Kant breaks out 02