Keep Rehearsing and Keep Performing

They both loved their smoke-filled intimacy and soon they were having smokey sex most nights, which meant that Penny went from smoking one pack month a most, to then three, then four. Suddenly and unnoticed by her she found that rather than smoking being just a nocturnal habit. She liked the idea of a smoke in the morning with a coffee, only just to perk herself up before going to work. As she already had one, another one a little later on her break at work, walking outside to have another would not really hurt. So, after a year or so the ones became two and in the evening three and she eventually she settled at solid pack-a-day habit.

Over time the two of them progressed from boyfriend and girlfriend. Grant got down on one knee and when she said yes, was then ecstatic to be engaged to a smoking hot woman. Before the wedding they arranged move into their own house. He was soon married to a beautiful dedicated and fully addicted smoker. He never said a word when Penny started buying full-flavored Newport 100s and occasionally to mix things up full flavour Marlboro 100's instead of the lights she had previously smoked when they were dating. For Grant there was nothing like lying naked in bed next to equally gorgeous and naked Penny and watching on his lovely fiancé start the day lighting up the strong Newport's or even a Marlboro when she needed it, with deep double drag.

Grant did not smoke at all when he first met Penny. But as time had gone on, he had begun taking the odd drag from Penny's cigarette. It was only because she needed him to hold the cigarette ever so occasionally. Then it was Penny's idea for him to smoke sporadically. This was because smoking was now a large part of their bedroom role plays. This meant over time the very rare occasions, became more frequent over time. He would also join her and smoke an after-sex cigarette. For him he was contented by that one odd drag and maybe twice weekly cigarette, and it never developed to anything more. For Grant he was more than satisfied with being around Penny and watching her develop and maintain a delightful addiction to smoking. What topped it off for him was the delightful style she used.

After a few years of happy marriage unfortunately, and tragically, Penny had passed away in a car accident. They hadn't had time to have any children as Penny had been on birth control as they had put their careers first. The loss of the love of his life and woman of his dreams had left him devastated. After a long period of agonizing depression, Grant had with persuasion from those around him, chosen to try a fresh start. He left his job, had a change of career, sadly sold their original marital home, and then moved closer to his parents. He wanted to start again with a clean sheet.

It was at this time he had bought the house next to Maggie and Paul, who had seeing he was a little out of sorts and alone, had taken him under their wings once they had learned his sad story.

Now in his late thirties, getting far too close to forty. Grant was still young and rather handsome, tall, and whilst not muscular, he was well built. He tried very occasionally when the mood took him, to keep in shape by jogging and even sporadically going to the gym close to his office. He had dated some women, but he hadn't found the spark for a new relationship.

That morning when he watched the rather beautiful Rachel smoking a cigarette, he felt his old passion flame up inside him. It had been a long time since he'd been close to a gorgeous smoking woman, and to him Rachel was indeed something. She wasn't very tall, not more than 5'7 or 5'8 tops, but with a perfectly shaped fit body. The ideal hourglass figure, crowned with bra assisted pert breasts. Her face was almost angelic and looked younger than her 19 years of age. She had a smart but friendly look, with sparkling eyes of a brown shade that would turn towards deep green in the right lighting.

After having grown tired of her long deep chestnut hair during high school, now she wore a trendy bob haircut just long enough to be able to pull her hair in a short ponytail when she needed to. Just so she would not have it in her face all the time. Her hair wasn't straight but naturally wavy, which gave her a slightly fashionable messy look. Simply put, Rachel was a girl that made most heads turn and if Grant had thought she nice to look at before, seeing her smoke sent shockwaves throughout his whole body.

That morning watching from behind the curtain as secretly watched ass Rachel smoked, he could see that she was still a complete novice, and her style was a far cry from her wife's perfection. But he couldn't take his eye off her, he was completely transfixed by the smoking performance she was involuntarily putting on for him.

Scene 2 Act 1

"The theatre infects the audience with its noble ecstasy."

Over the next few days, a routine developed for Grant and Rachel. Grant was aware it was a routine. Rachel not so much. As Grant could not shake from his head the delectable view of the beautiful Rachel on that crisp autumn morning smoking her cigarette outside. He knew it was wrong, but standing close to her, just on the other side of the fence smelling the potent smoke from her cigarette that tingled in his nostrils, and then watching her hold her cigarette as she spoke to him, had reignited an ancient glow inside him that now he simply was not able to put out.

Rachel did not know that the morning of her first experimentation with cigarettes, had sparked something in her neighbour, she had not seen him for several days. She put it down to him being at work.

However, over the fence Grant was fully aware of her continued practice.

She had been quite surprised by how difficult it had been to smoke again. When she had mused at the idea to include smoking in her audition routine, she had assumed that having already experimented some with her best friend during the end of high school would make it a rather simple task for her. Instead, the smoke felt acrid and strong; it irritated her airways, and she was many times close to coughing. She was very cautious with the size of her drags being careful not to overdo it, but she was still pretty tense.

Most of all, she was extremely self-conscious and couldn't really relax while she held a cigarette in her hand. She never imagined she would react that way, but when Grant had first seen her, she felt a wave of shame wash over her, and she had to fight hard not to through away the cigarette as a young teenager would do when secretly smoking behind their parents back.

'I can smoke if I want!' She had tried to convince herself. 'I'm a grown-up adult living on my own. I don't have to explain my actions to anyone. So, what if my neighbours see me with a cigarette? They won't care...'

Whilst upstairs Grant had positioned his laptop on the desk in the spare bedroom. He woke up checked his emails and then once the morning outgoings were dealt with. He leaned against the window frame tucked behind the curtain and waited. He really should have been a work an hour ago but catching up with his emails will have pacified everyone.

As clockwork the rather pretty Rachel Ronaker would step out the back door at 8:35 to repeat her attempt at getting the knack of smoking right. Grant would then get to watch her for a few minutes that she stood shivering in the middle of her garden before he had to disappear off to work before he was far too late.

The routine sounded logical in her head, but over the next couple of days, whenever she had stepped outside to rehearse the 'smoking thing' as she called it. She had felt uncomfortable and secretive, with a need to be constantly scanning around to see if anyone was approaching or looking at her. Meanwhile she was being watched as Grant looked down, his body hidden behind the curtain from the spare bedroom. If she had looked up, she may have seen the curtain twitching. However, her focus was on the cylinder between her fingers and the smoke that filled her lungs as her slowly and reluctantly brought it to her lips.

'I must get over this or the whole idea of smoke during my scene will just look miserably pathetic. I need the cigarette to be important in the scene. Marie was in total control of and used her cigarette to accentuate her position. To focus attention on her even more. If I can't look natural and at ease, I should just drop the idea altogether!' Rachel contemplated as she crushed her third cigarette under her shoe alongside the previous butts before walking back inside.

***

In fact, that day as she sat chewing on her plain ham sandwich Rachel realised that she had someone obvious that she could study and recreate. On her lunch break she sat there with her sandwich in hand and could easily watch and effectively spy on Amanda who like clockwork had just hurriedly just lit up her second post-lunch cigarette.

Normally Rachel would pay little or no attention to Amanda who whilst was a lovely colleague in her mid-thirties. She always very nicely dressed and with a face with perfect makeup that Rachel often wondered how much time it could take to apply in the mornings. Amanda was not very tall, a couple of inches shorter than Rachel. She graced with a fit and slender figure with curves in all right places and long blond hair that was up in a ponytail. Rachel was quite sure couldn't be her natural colour. But on their breaks, it was difficult to get to know each other, as in all weather she would scurry outside and light her cigarette at the first opportunity.

Rachel watched as sitting outside on the little smoking area patio by the staff room, Amanda's cheeks hollowed, and her top lip crinkled deeply as she took another deep drag from her cork cigarette. Rachel found herself mouth open almost staring at her. Amanda smoked hurriedly and unapologetically, often going through two cigarettes one after another desperately finishing them before her breaks finished. However, Rachel noted that she always looked very elegant and posed in her style and mannerism. She needed to smoke, so she did.

Rachel watched a long volley of smoke forced out from between Amanda's lips 'I could never do it, could I?' Rachel asked herself. Looking at her colleague who was calmly and stylishly exhaling a never-ending plume of bluish grey smoke towards the blue sky. Rachel's eyes followed her hand she gently tapped the cigarette with her finger and the ash drifted off in the breeze. It fascinated Rachel that Amanda wouldn't care less if others were in the breakroom the door was open and the smoke from her exhales and from the burning cigarette were swirling around drifting inside. It was obvious, at that moment in time, she simply needed cigarettes.

Indeed, sitting there chewing on her sandwich Rachel's confidence sapped as quickly as the cigarette fizzed watching Amanda's impressive performance. She was determined to herself that she should drop the whole smoking palaver. Except that afternoon during acting class, it had gone horribly wrong. It was a nightmare of a day. She tripped up over a prop, then forgot, and stumbled with her lines so much so that she felt like she had failed during one of the scripted exercises.

Rachel had thought she had done badly. However, in reality, as she was at this moment in time feeling a bit insecure. She miss-interpreted some comments from the teacher who wanted genuinely to give some positive feedback on her performance. Rachel instead read them as if her performance was criticized more harshly than her classmates'.

When Rachel got home that evening, she went straight to the left-over pack of Benson & Hedges. She extracted one of the all-white cigarettes and looked at it as it rested between her index and middle fingers.

She took a deep breath muttering to herself out loud as a confidence pick-me-up "If I don't master this, I won't have anything to out compete against the others!"

Sitting at the central island in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee Rachel had decided to smoke inside, as she determined it was too cold that evening to step outside.

'Maggie and Paul smoked inside the house all the time, and it is one of their many ashtrays, so they can't mind if I smoke in here tonight?' Rachel mused as fingers turned to jelly as she fumbled with the lighter. Moreover, they were gone for at least a year, and there would have been all the time in the world to air out any trace of smoke, since it wasn't like Rachel had any intention to smoke regularly or continue smoking after the audition. 'If it really would get too smoky, I can always get some air fresheners!' she concluded her thought process.

Smoking again was maybe a little easier, but she just didn't like it and wondered why Amanda and her friend Imogen for that matter anyone could enjoy it so much.

'What can they see in this?' she thought before practically going cross eyed as she lit the cigarette.

Rachel played a bit trying to mimic the way she remembered Amanda held her cigarette earlier that day. Standing up, she leaned against the wall and held the cigarette next to her face while her arm was cocked against her side and supported by her free arm and hand that she had across her waist. It took her some adjusting but eventually she found a comfortable position which she returned to after each drag. Concentrating on her pose took her mind off the foul taste in her mouth and she was a bit surprised when then smoke felt very hot in her mouth.

"Wow, it's all gone already!" Rachel stated to the ashtray as she carefully proceeded to crush the cigarette out as she exhaled the smoke from her tentative and shallow inhale. She found the process of crushing out almost therapeutic.

The weather deteriorated as autumn turned into winter Rachel continued for a few more days to experiment smoking almost a cigarette every day, usually in the morning before going to work, but occasionally if she was running late in the evening. Either way she was frustrated by her own annoying self-consciousness.

When it was pouring with rain or blowing a gale, she now preferred smoking in the kitchen as it was now getting far too cold to standout outside just for the sake of it. She was also more comfortable sitting at the centre island. Close to an ashtray in the warmth of the house. Also sitting at the centre island, she would be far enough away from prying eyes as she was still afraid of being seen from outside. There was no chance of anyone watching her coughing her guts up if she inhaled too much.

Grant meanwhile as the wind battered the back window, 835 came and went, he waited for five more minutes before going to work. More often than not, he had been missing his daily show. Yes, it was raining and cold, he would not want to be out there either. But he was leaning against the window watching the garden hopeful. There was no sign of the delightful Rachel making an appearance stage left to perform her gorgeous smoking ritual.

***

On her way back home that evening Rachel stopped at the local convenience store just around the corner from her house to buy some food and drink for tea that night. She found it easier to buy every night her dinner rather than doing a big shop. Firstly, she did not drive, so would have to carry everything back on the bus. But more excitingly as sometimes she could fine the yellow sticker discounted food. It made her feel better. It also suited her lifestyle. As her rather busy social and acting life, even with her life plugged into a calendar on her phone, she could never tell from one evening to the next where she was going to be. Plans always changed.

"Will that be all?" Asked the lady at the counter after registering Rachel's microwavable pasta carbonara for one and cooled bottle of white wine from the fridge.

Rachel took a deep breath whilst her eyes darted along scanning the full racks of cigarettes behind the register. It brough back the memories and thoughts of the unpleasant cigarette she had smoked in the morning which unfortunately was the last one from the pack of Benson & Hedges she had found. Nodding slowly, she then decided.

"Oh yes, and this a pack..." Rachel asked trying to act as confident as she could as if it was a line from the movie as she held up some mint chewing gum "...and err, well a pack of Marlboro Light 100s, please...as well." The words coming out of her mouth churned and danced and she was convinced that they still did not belong to her. She had to act the part even if she was feeling extremely self-conscious and on the verge of blushing.

"Sorry love, can I see your ID?" The clerk asked not surprisingly since Rachel could easily be mistaken for younger than her age.

Rachel smiled apologetically as was somehow expecting this to happen, but as she started fishing for her provisional driver license. She had never quite had the time to get her full licence. She stood there and felt distinctively heat summoning on her cheeks. She was sure that she was now looking like a guilty kid found stealing sweets from the store. Her hands were trembling with fear, even though she had not reason to, with a deep breath to find her confidence, she showed the clerk her ID.

"Thank you, dear. Here you are." The lady said gently but nonchalantly after having all but briefly looked at Rachel's card as she handed her a pack of Marlboros.

Rachel paid and just as she was about to exit the store, she stopped as felt a presence behind her. With a quick turn of the head, she saw Grant holding a four pack of beer and a frozen peperoni pizza.

"Evening!" Grant cheerly grinned.

"Oh hello, fancy meeting you here?" She forced a smile taking in what he was holding and then giggling at what she was holding. "Same idea?"

"Yes, just finished work, late one for me as ever." He smiled as he noticed she was still holding her brand new pack of cigarettes.

"Same, work then rehearsals." She shrugged her shoulders.

Grant nodded in agreement; his eyes then focused on the pack. "How are those rehearsals going?"

With a roll of her eyes Rachel sighed and shrugged her shoulders and looked at the pack in her hand almost willing it to disappear. "To be honest I am useless and hate it."

"Hate what?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Smoking, I just don't get it."

Grant chuckled, "Well as they say, it's a disgusting evil habit, that no one should ever start. But you already know that."

Rachel' shoulders sank, and she nodded as she agreed. "Yeah, I don't want that at all, I really don't want a habit. All I want is just to look good smoking for a scene or two. I want to look like a natural."

"Ah, well, my wife, my ex-wife she used to smoke quite a bit..." he trailed off as he started thinking of her.

"Oh wow, did she?" Rachel did not know if she should be looking pleased or sad.

"Yeah..." he rubbed his lips together as he contemplated "I don't know...maybe I can give you some tips?" He mused out loud.

She looked up from the pack and stared at his face "Oh...right...yeah, I guess so, that would be amazing I think I need all the help I can get?"

"From the outset, I cannot help you with acting, but maybe I know enough to assist with the smoking part of the scene?"

"You are so kind." She faux smiled, as panic cross her mind.

Against her better judgement they quickly arranged a time to meet up the following evening. Then they made their excuses, and both headed in opposite directions Grant to his car, and Rachel to trudge home for them both to eat their respective meals for one. If Grant had thought about it, he could have offered her a lift.

***

For the whole of the next day all Rachel could think about was her upcoming evening meeting with Grant. She found work and then the academy all got in the way. She had no idea how things were going to go. Was she going to smoke, or where they going to act things out? She convinced herself for half the day that they were going to pretend to smoke. Sit there with an unlit cigarette and talk about how to handle it. How to properly look like she was smoking. That was going to be better for them both. Rachel was happy with that idea as she then did not actually need to smoke. She really did not want to smoke.