All Comments on 'Kelly's Thursday Night Frustartion'

...let down by poor grammar and spelling.

It's difficult to really get into the flow of the story and believe in the character when one needs to keep switching tense and narrative.

Good story, though. Get yourself a proof reader and it would be even better.

Had went?

Rubbish.

lousy story. just a negative.

My mama always said, "If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all."

I am being nice.

You have some interesting ideas, but you need a good editor and maybe a collaborator to help develop your ideas and characters. I hope you don't get discouraged and work on the construction; you can turn you interesting ideas into a story with polish which includes dscriptions of places and people and hint at what they ae thinking.

At least you've done what lots of others have not - compile and publish a story