by Coral
.... It's just a list. Turn it in to an actual story. Put us in the characters head.
Sorry honey, but thus was over way to quickly. Why was she taken? By whom? And why was she having all these things done to her? Also, did nobody miss her?
Please give us more details.
I am sorry, but when I started reading this I thought I would read something about at least the character kidnapped. This reads just like a series of events which does not lead to real stimulation but more drugged state than anything. It needs more substance and how the victim is feeling or why she is being drugged all the time as if she is a virgin she would experience some extreme feelings she has never experienced before especially when restrained. What is the point in having her in the ice and everything being frozen cold.