Kinda Gay

"Cute." He said to Devon. "Real fucking cute, asshole. Enjoy the drink." Devon sighed as the dude stood up, catching me hard on the shoulder as he left me the booth. I grinned and sat next to Devon, throwing my arm around him again.

"Fuck man, really didn't like the look of that guy."

"Thats a fucking surprise." He mumbled. He was staring moodily at his drink. I punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"Hey." I said. "You aren't gonna thank me?" Devon glanced up at me. He was pink and a vein next to his eye was sort of... twitching. Almost like he was mad...

"For what?" He said. I swallowed.

"Well... to be honest Dev, I reckon that guy was hitting on you." Devon rolled his eyes.

"You think?"

"So... maybe... you say... thank you?" He sighed as he looked at me.

"Maybe next time check that I'm not into it before getting all macho man saves damsel in distress?"

"What, you wanted him to hit on you?"

"Yes!"

"What, because you're a fag?" Devon's mouth twitched.

"Marcus, you're an idiot." He glanced out to the dance floor and I followed his gaze. The guy, fucking called it, was grinding on some other dude. I glanced back to Devon and he raised his eyebrows. "Yes, I'm a fag." He said slowly, fiddling with his glasses. "Into men. Especially cute ones who buy me drinks." I opened my mouth to carry on the joke... but then... I realised that would be kind of a dumb joke. I started to blush.

"Dev, you must think I'm such an arsehole." I hung my head. "Dude. Dude, I am so so fucking sorry. Do you want me to get him back? I'm a great wingman! I'll tell him how big your dick is..." Devon started to laugh.

"Dude you're touched in the head, I swear."

"Maybe. Fuck Dev... I... look, he wasn't that hot anyway. Let's find you someone better."

"So... you're not... gonna be weird?"

"Weird? Why?" Devon stared at me. He cleared his throat.

"You talk a lot of shit." He said quietly. I looked at him. Fuck, we did talk a lot of shit. He must have felt so awful living with us. I cleared my throat.

"I can um... ease up the f bomb maybe dude." He shrugged.

"Na. You can say it." He looked at me and took a deep breath. He opened his mouth and then suddenly, whatever he was going to say, he totally lost his nerve. "Smoke?" he asked.

"You don't..."

"I'm wasted." I shrugged. He seemed sober to me but whatever.

I only smoke when I'm drunk so I stole two of Lucas's and we sat outside huddled next to an oil burner. Devon cheered up a little as we hung out and talked about random stuff. I guess he forgave me for cockblocking him by accident after I bought him another round in apology. And then one more. He laughed as I showed up with the fourth round of beer. His eyes were a little glassy, but mine probably were too. I apologised again as I sat down.

"It's really fine, Marcus." He laughed. "I still have a cute guy buying me drinks." He slapped me playfully on the shoulder and I blushed. I tried to say something witty but my brain was spitting out nothing.

"Flattery will get you nowhere." I said eventually. "Except maybe another round. If you want."

--

I might be kind of dumb, and kind of rough around the edges, but I'm not actually a dick. So I made sure Dev knew I knew I was the arsehole. I made sure to make room for him on the couch every night when he was done studying. I made sure to be absolutely charming when we played D&D and I made sure to drag him out drinking with us once at least once a fortnight... and if I saw him with another guy I made sure to check on him, just to be sure the other guy was up to par. They never were, no one was really good enough for him, but if Dev gave me the 'back off' look I respected that.

"Too tall." I'd tell him when they turned their backs for a second..

"I'm tall!"

"Too muscly. He'd be boring."

"Maybe I want hot and boring."

"Too loud, he never shuts up."

"What's that saying about glass houses?"

"Too drunk."

"I'm with you there." Dev muttered and let me gently muscle away the sleazebag who looked like he was about to vomit all over us.

We sat down together and I split my jug with him.

"How come you never see the same guy twice anyway?" I asked. "You like, afraid of commitment?" Dev rolled his eyes.

"I'd love a boyfriend but you keep vetoing any guys I get near."

"Well, someone has to look out for you." He laughed.

"Bit of a dry spell for you?" He said casually. I hit him.

"Concentrating on my studies."

"That'll be the day."

"Too busy keeping you out of trouble to focus on me." Dev looked at me blankly, and then he slowly closed his eyes and thumped his head on the table.

"What?!"

"You." He said, his voice muffled. "Honestly Marcus. You're a fucking idiot."

"What? Why?"

"Don't worry about it." He groaned.

—-

He had the late shift at work one night and me and Riley were playing Scrabble, because we thought it would be funny.

"Ughhhhh." I whined, as Riley pulled another 56pt word out of his ass. "I need Dev. I'm useless." Riley cleared his throat.

"So... um... Dev." He said. I glanced at him. Riley sighed. "You and him... are you...?"

"Are we?" I rearranged my letters. It didn't help.

"Ah... You're into each other right?" I frowned.

"Into... each other? I guess? I think he might be the coolest person I ever met." Riley frowned at me. His lips began to twitch. "What?" I frowned. He started to laugh. Odie walked in and looked at us. He frowned at Riley who was shaking in silent laughter.

"What's so funny?" He asked. Riley shook his head.

"Marcus thinks Dev is the coolest person he ever met." Odie grinned.

"Well, we knew that." Riley shook his head as he laughed.

"He still doesn't get it." Odie started to laugh too and I looked between the two of them. I was so confused.

"What am I missing?" Odie sat down next to me and clapped his hand on my shoulder. "Marcus... Marcus, Marcus, Marcus..." He sighed. "You sober?"

"Um... not ... completely." Odie nodded.

"Perfect. Ok. We're gonna play a game. It's called truth or truth. I'm gonna go first."

"We're playing Scra..."

"How often do you think about his dick?"

"Whose dick?"

"Devon."

"Oh!" I thought about that. I mean. A bit. But only because I knew it was massive. And as weird as it sounds, knowing that he just had this massive dick curled up in his trousers just like... in his labs, and at D&D and while he was sitting on the couch next to me... it was weirdly... shit. I dunno. "A bit?" I said. Odie and Riley looked at each other.

"Dude." Odie sighed. I shrugged.

"You said the game was truth!" Riley sighed and sat back.

"Here's some fucking truth. You're in love with Dev." I laughed.

"He's not joking." Odie sighed. "You're like, dopily in love with him. Like. It's cute. We think it's cute."

"But... I'm not gay!" I glanced up as Lucas entered the room. He raised his eyebrows.

"Alright?" He said. Odie sighed.

"Marcus, you might not be gay, but you totally are for Dev."

"Ew." Lucas said.

"Ew!" I agreed. Riley bit his lip.

"Truth. I want you to imagine you go to his room... and Dev is naked, sitting at his desk... he's so into you, and he asks you to suck his dick... what do you do?" I blushed. I almost denied it but... then I saw it. Dev. Naked, maybe his legs crossed. His eyes glancing up at me, biting on his lip...smiling shyly...

Oh.

I looked up at Riley, my eyes wide.

"Yeah." He said slowly. "See, none of us feel like that."

"Fuck off!" Lucas said from the doorway. "Stop being a pervert. Marcus and Dev just get along. Stop making it weird." My mouth gaped, and I wanted to agree with him... but holy shit I was imagining Dev on all fours... oh, oh man. Oh man.

"I'm not gay..." I stuttered. Odie shrugged.

"So what? If you like Dev you like Dev." Lucas rolled his eyes.

"You don't like Dev." he said. I opened my mouth, gaping like a fucking idiot fish.

"I think... I might..." I said slowly. "Oh my god. Why didn't someone tell me?!" I growled at Riley. He winced.

"I thought you'd figure it out!"

"What the fuck?!" I whined. "What the shit is wrong with me?"

"Nothing." Odie said quietly. "Nothing wrong."

"Have you all gone crazy?!" Lucas said. "I mean if you really think you like that lanky fairy ..."

"Oh fuck off!" Riley said. "He's our mate and he's into our other mate! This is hard enough for him."

"Dev isn't our mate! He's just a fag who lives here!" Lucas growled. I stood up without realising it and suddenly Riley and Odie were both restraining me. I glared at Lucas.

"You'd be lucky if Dev was into you, you fucking cunt! He's more man than you'll ever be!"

"Oh fuck off, gay boy!"

"I'm not gay!" I yelled, feeling myself turn pink. "Maybe a little gay for Devon but fuck you, that doesn't mean anything!" I spat at him and suddenly a movement caught my eye. Devon was standing in the doorway, his mouth open.

Riley and Odie suddenly dropped my arms and Lucas and I leant back, pretending we weren't about to tear each other's throats out.

"Oh, hey, Dev." Lucas said casually. Devon blinked.

"Wait... you know you're... a little gay for me?" I frowned at him.

"Fuck you." I grunted. "That doesn't mean anything." I went to my room and smoked my entire stash of weed.

--

I wasn't... avoiding Devon. I just got really busy. Crazy busy. I needed to be busy because I kept imagining him parting his lips, and grinding his hips against me, and ... Ughhhhh.

I was just so super stupid busy.

"I'm busy." I grunted when there was a knock on my door. Odie strode in, ignoring me, and sat on my bed.

"Sara is Japanese." He said. I looked at him.

"Surprise?" He rolled his eyes.

"Remember when I first started dating her, and I got so much shit and everyone said it was a fetish, and all that stupid crap?"

"You've been together for like a hundred years, no one gives a shit."

"Right, because we love each other and everyone can get over it because we're all adults." I glared at him.

"I take your point." I said through gritted teeth. He raised his eyebrows.

"Do you?"

We looked at each other.

"It's so different." I mumbled.

"Not that different."

"Lucas..."

"Fuck him. Love is love, maybe some people care, I don't. Riley doesn't." I bit my lip.

"But..."

"Tamata'ia?"

"Are you... fucking with me?" Odie snorted.

"Dude, akarongo mai. If anyone cares we'll beat em up, ae?"

"But... you're such... fucking... lads..." Odie rolled his eyes.

"And ah... you aren't?" I sniffed.

"I feel like... like it's a prank. Like you're all gonna whip out the fucking balloons and yell 'ha ha made you think you were gay, you fucking idiot'..." I glanced at Odie. He sighed.

"This is maybe the hardest thing you'll ever have to go through." He said. "I get that." He took a deep breath. "Look. Truth. The fact that you like dicks is metal as fuck. Women are so fucking soft and girly. Dev though... shit man we've all seen it. And you're into that? Mad fucking respect." I started to laugh in spite of myself.

"It's fucking massive." I said. "I can't believe how much it..." I blushed. "Doesn't... gross me out." Odie laughed.

"Say it bro! You're into it! Be proud! God we have to be the most diverse flat in Aro St! Lead the way cuz, show the world what a brown faggy jock looks like."

"Fuck you just because it turns out I'm kinda a faggot doesn't mean i'm faggy."

"Exactly!" I started to laugh at him and he smiled. "Um. So. Do you think you could... come out? Of your bedroom I mean. Not... we miss you, oa." He said eventually.

"I..." My head fell to my chest. "I can't face him." I whispered. Odie sighed and patted my back awkwardly.

"Just fucking tell Dev you like him. Maybe he doesn't like you back. Then this whole thing doesn't matter." I frowned.

"Of course he likes me!" I said. "Look at me!"

"I dunno." Odie smirked. "Maybe you're not his type?"

"I'm everyone's type!"

"So what are you afraid of? What's the worst that could happen?" I stood up and glared at Odie.

"Fine!" I stepped out of the room... and suddenly my bravado left me.

Gearing myself up for Devon was harder than it had any right to me. Ok. So I was fascinated by him, I knew that. I was mildly obsessed with his dick. I got pissed off when I watched other guys flirt with him... I blushed. Shit I'm a moron. Of course I thought no one was good enough for him.

I wanted him so bad. I wanted his long limbs and his braces and his soft smile and the way he bit his lip...

If I didn't tell him I might die.

So I crept to his room and stood outside the door for a minute, looking at it. Eventually I opened it. I forgot to knock. Devon was at his computer. He glanced up at me.

"Hey." I leant on his door frame, looking at the carpet. I glanced at him. He was smiling.

"Crisis over?" He asked.

"Huh?"

"Nothing. Hey come in, I wanted to show you this..." He motioned for me to come in and I pulled the door behind me.

I sat down on the bed and he pulled out a poster. It was me. He'd done a drawing of me. Only... not me. My charismatic hot headed half orc. But... he was so good. It was so clearly me...I took it off him and looked at it wordlessly. He sat beside me.

"You like it?" He asked. I looked at him and my words caught in my throat. He was a tiny bit pink. His hair was falling onto his face and I felt my heart beat faster.

"Hey, Dev..." I tried to sound lighthearted. "Stop me if this is like, cooked, but... can I kiss you?" Dev blinked.

"Yeah." He said.

"No but... would you... like that?" He laughed .

"You ah... you really need to ask?" He grinned and my eyes fell to his mouth- his soft pink lips, his braces...

"I need to ask." I said. Because it was easier than explaining how confused I was.

"I'd like it if you kissed me." He said. I moaned and wrapped my hands around his neck. I pushed him gently to the bed and bent my head down to meet him. "Wait!" He said. I froze, terrified. He gently took the portrait from my hands and placed it on his desk. He smiled and turned back to me. "Kiss me."

I didn't need any further encouragement. I wrapped him up in my arms and pushed us both on to the bed. I pinned him down gently and pressed my lips to his. He was so soft beneath me. We both parted our lips and I gently probed his mouth with my tongue- exploring him, tasting him... I ground against his body and glanced down in shock. He bit his lips as I looked him in the eye.

"Sorry." He whispered. Christ, he was something else. I shook my head and gently guided his hand to my crotch so he knew I was hard too.

"It's just that your dick is like the size of an arm." He blushed and laughed.

"It's not!" I leant in and kissed him again. He moaned softly and I made sure I was teasing his cock with my hips as we made out. I couldn't believe how hard he was- and I'd been so worried I was imagining things.

I paused, because I'd forgotten to breathe and I lay my head on his chest, listening to his heart.

"Did you know?" I asked. He looked down at me and brushed a curl off my face.

"Sort of?" He squeaked. "I mean, I knew I was falling for you, a bit, and normally- the things you do... I mean normally that's just straight up flirting, Marcus."

"Sorry I'm so dumb." I whispered. He stroked my face.

"I think you're brave." He said. "If I were you I don't know if I'd kiss me." I laughed.

"Then you have no idea how crazy you make me. I'm obsessed with you. I stole your underwear. I jerked off to a facebook post. I've never been this horny in my life." He laughed.

"Those Nisa ones? The blue ones with the burgundy trim?" I nodded, blushing. "Dude I fucking knew it! They're my favourite, can you give them back?"

"Can I swap them?" He laughed at my face.

"Maybe?" He said. "But um... you don't have to jerk off into my underwear. You can... um..." He blushed and closed his eyes.

"I can...?" I prompted him.

"Well... I mean... you want to do more than just kissing right?" He was so red and his eyes were clamped shut tightly. I laughed at his expression and I leant in again, hearing a soft -ah- as I started kissing him again.

"I want to do so much more than just kissing." I whispered in his ear.

"Tell me." He panted. I stuck my tongue in his ear and he moaned. I cautiously let one hand drift down his chest and I gently rubbed his dick through his clothes as I spoke. I was so turned on my mouth got ahead of my brain.

"I want you to paint me." I said. His eyes flew open and crinkled with mirth. I felt myself blushing. Yeah, real good dirty talk, stud. "Naked!" I added. He was still smirking at me. "I actually have this fantasy where it's a life drawing class... and I'm the model, and you're so good, and put together, and I'm pathetic and I get hard watching you as you work... And I think maybe no one will notice if I hump the table for a bit of relief... but it's not enough... So I'm jerking off in front of everyone and you're just smiling at me, teasing me... and you slowly unbutton your shirt... only no ones watching you, just me... and I can't help myself I just cum all over myself..." I heard my words and started laughing. "Ah fuck..." Devon pressed his head to my ear.

"Get my jeans off." I glanced at him... no way that had really done it, right? But he was flushed and warm and damp, and grinding his hips up to meet me... I made short work of his trousers and moaned as I saw his long legs exposed, resting against each other, his dick straining to escape the confines of his dark green underwear. I stroked it with both hands and moaned. He blinked at me. He bit his lip and I couldn't help but kiss him again.

"That... that thing you do with your face..." I mumbled. He looked at me.

"What thing?"

"When you... you go all pink... and then you bite your lip and I can see your braces... and then you look at me... like this..." I tried to imitate him. He laughed at me.

"This?" He did it and I moaned.

"That."

"Huh." I ran my fingers through his hair as one hand stayed stroking his enormous cock. I bent down and kissed it, and then I glanced at him, horrified at myself. Shit, I was such a fucking weirdo.

His eyes were closed and his lips parted.

"Yesss..." He whispered.

"That's ok?"

"That's fucking... hot. Kiss it."

I placed my mouth on his dick again and kissed it. I ran my tongue up the shaft to where the head was poking out of his boxer briefs and dripping onto his abs. I moaned and kissed his balls, and spread his legs to kiss him more. I glanced up and he was breathing heavily, looking at me, his eyes half closed. He smiled.

"Any chance... you wanna try that... without the underwear?" I gulped. I did. So bad. But that would be so gay... I blushed as I heard my own thoughts. Marcus, you fucking idiot. Of course that would be gay. That was the fucking point. That was why you didn't talk to this guy for two weeks even though you were thinking about him every night...

Devon stroked my hair.

"If you don't want to that's ok." I shook my head and slowly peeled down his underwear.

Dammit, how did he find jeans? Surely it must be hard to get jeans that were skinny enough in the leg without being way too tight in the crotch. I heard him chuckle and I realised I'd stopped doing anything, and I was just staring at his dick. His giant, almost hairless thick uncut dick with a purple head leaking. I moaned.

"How do you not pass out when you get an erection?" He laughed and shook his head.

"Stop saying that! I'm more than just a... fucking dildo you know." I looked up at him.

"I know." I said quietly. "I think I'd like you even if it was tiny. I think I'd like you even if you didn't have one."

"You'd definitely like me if I didn't have one. We'd already be dating if I didn't have one."