Kinda Gay

-Glossary included at the end-

***

"I'm gonna fucking rape you faggot!" Odie yelled. I threw a beer can at him and he winced as it hit him in the face. "Jesus, calm down Marcus!"

"Watch your language, cocksucker!"

"You're just mad because I'm about to kill you and rape your corpse, dork!"

"Not before I fuck your wife and daughter and - oh hey Devon." I grinned as our nerdy flatmate appeared in the doorframe. He frowned at us.

"What are you playing?" He peered at the screen. I grinned at him.

"Mario Kart. You in?" He looked tempted, but he sighed.

"I gotta study."

"NERD!" I yelled and chucked a beer can at him. He caught it clumsily and bit his lip before throwing it back.

"Maybe later." I sighed as he slunk back to his room. Devon was always studying. I don't know why. He was passing easily, straight fucking A student and all. I scrape through. I learned in first year exactly how little you have to do to get Cs and I pretty much had my degree sorted from there. I turned back to the game a little reluctantly. It was always more fun with more people. And we liked to try to make Devon blush with our filthy language, he was such a prude.

"Cunt sucker!" I swore as Odie beat me again and I woke up from thinking about Devon. He laughed.

"I like that. That's new."

"It's what your mum calls me." We frowned at each other as we tried to work out if that was an insult or not and started laughing.

"Anyway, you lose, you gotta make dinner." I sighed. I hate cooking. But fair's fair.

"I'll see if Dev wants anything in particular."

I got up and headed to Devon's room down the corridor. Five of us live here: me, Odie, Devon, Lucas and Riley. All of us knew each other except for Devon, we needed him to fill a room. We all agreed we'd made an excellent choice in our flatmate- he was quiet and nerdy as hell but he never complained about us being too loud, or smoking too much weed. He was so neat and tidy he never even needed to say anything about how messy and gross we were. We felt just bad enough to keep it together for his sake.

I knocked on his door and gave him a second.

"You can come in." He called. I opened the door and leant on the doorway. His room was so clean. It smelled like pine and he always had the curtains open so it was light and airy. I opened my mouth to ask him what he wanted for dinner when my eyes fell on something he was half heartedly covering with his hand. A drawing. A SEXY drawing.

I reached over his desk and grabbed it.

"Hey!" I held it out.

"Holy fuck!" I replied. "Jesus, that's hot as hell!" It was a pen and pencil drawing of some medieval chick with impossible proportions. My mouth fell open as I stared at it. "Weird porn dude, but I totally get it!" Devon laughed as he was turning pink, and took the paper off me.

"It's not porn! It's for my..." He cleared his throat and blushed even deeper pink. "Dungeons and Dragons campaign." He muttered

"Oh shit, you drew that?" I looked at the picture again. It was well done, for smut, although he really didn't have an understanding of female anatomy. "So is that you?" I sat on his bed and leant on his desk as I talked to him. He laughed.

"Na... um... here..." He shuffled through his desk and handed me a picture of a dwarf in shining armour with bulging muscles... and a bulging something else. He laughed at my expression.

"Compensating." He joked. I laughed a little, although I couldn't help but think about the fact that he really didn't need to compensate for anything. I'd seen him come out of the shower by accident once. Maybe it's because he's so tall and thin. Maybe if he had a regular body like mine his cock wouldn't look so obscene... "My muscles..." He said slowly, almost as though he'd followed my train of thought. Oops. My turn to blush.

"That's so cool!" I tried to refocus. "So you all draw up these characters and then what, it's like a board game?" I could see him roll his eyes, just the tiniest bit.

"Uh... not really. It's like... more like Skyrim I guess? Only just pen and paper and dice."

"Sweet!"

"You wanna... Come? We could play a one shot to see if you're into it?" He suddenly looked away and cleared his throat. "Ha ha, sorry, you're probably really busy with school and-"

"Losing Mario Kart? On that note, what do you want for dinner? Couldn't get out of it. You know my repertoire is limited but basically any pasta and pasta sauce out of a jar related cuisine is all yours." He laughed and looked at his monitor. He swallowed.

"You want me to teach you how to make sauce not out of a jar?"

"You're fucking with me. You can do that?!" He laughed and stood up.

"Come on, dipshit."

--

Turns out pasta sauce not out of a jar is actually really easy to make, and fucking delicious.

"The guys have to know about this!" I said excitedly as Devon made me try it. I got them all up out of various weed, video game, study, and wanking related activities and sat them down at the dinner table.

"Lads. Today is a momentous day. We give our thanks to Devon, Lord Devon of Italian Cuisine for introducing us to the way of pasta sauce not from a jar. Huzzah!" We clanged our beer cans together and I threw one at Devon.

"Could you just... hand that to me like a normal person?" He grunted as he fumbled the catch.

"Lads, Lord Dev has spoken. He says to stop throwing shit like barbarians while at the dinner table." Riley said, and we burst out laughing. Dev looked a little pink and I squeezed his thigh, just so he knew we were laughing with him, not at him.

--

His door was partially open when I got home from Uni a few days later. I dont know what the fuck possesed me. I think he just fascinated me- he was so different to us. So composed. So freaking smart. I walked into his room and stood in the middle. I wondered if he had a rough side, a gross side... he had to, right? He was only human. Geeks aren't that different from bogans, really. I tentatively opened a drawer. Books. I rolled my eyes and smiled to myself. His walls were lined with books. I opened the next drawer down. Briefs, boxer briefs, socks, and...wait what the fuck was...

"Need a hand finding anything?" Devon raised his eyebrows in the doorway. I tried to lie but I just started laughing instead. I hid my face in my hands as I choked on my own laughter.

"Dev! I'm so sorry!" I whined. "I'm so nosy, honestly it's gonna get me into serious trouble one day. You should go through my stuff, it's only fair." He caught my laughter and shook his head as he sat on his bed and folded his long legs up underneath him.

"I can't think of anything less appealing than going through your room."

"That's probably smart. It's just empty beer cans and cumrags." I was only half joking. Dev grinned at me. He had braces which I only really noticed when he smiled like that. They were oddly fascinating. Oddly... hmm.

His face fell into a frown as I looked at him.

"You ok Marcus?" I cleared my throat.

"Na dude. I'm dying of embarrassment." I glanced around his room and slowly sat down next to him. "What was that one shot thing you were on about?"

"What, D&D?"

"So I can be any character I want?"

"Sort of... there's um... here..." He fumbled around on his desk and managed to pull out a giant sheet of characters and classes and races. It was pretty cool- he must have drawn it up himself, it was all in his style. I studied it as it rested on our knees.

"Half-orc barbarian." I said after looking at it. Devon laughed. "What?!"

"That's the least surprising thing I've ever heard." I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"So theres heaps of murder and rape and pillaging right?" Devon shrugged.

"Sure, but your team might hate you."

"Aw man, this is a team thing?" He cocked his head to one side and looked at me.

"We're meeting on Thursday if you're free?" I thought about that. I was definitely free, and this could be kinda fun. Probably more fun than sitting on the couch by myself. And Devon would be there and I never got to hang out with him because he was always studying. What's the worst that could happen?

"Sure thing, dude!" I grinned.

"Wait, really?" He blinked.

"Why, you think I'll embarrass you?"

"No, meathead, you'll definitely embarrass me, I just thought it might be a bit uh... "

"Lame?" He blushed. "Everythings lame if you're lame about it." I reassured him. "We're metal, man, it'll be dope." He smiled.

"Alright. I'll tell Ethan to write in a half orc barbarian. And you have to fill in a character sheet."I groaned.

"Homework?!"

"Or you could do your real homework?" He suggested. Dammit. I smiled.

"What's a character sheet?"

We hung out in his room while he explained what I was signing myself up for. It was actually really fun, hanging out with him, rolling dice, making up shit about our characters. We both lost track of time. There was a knock on the door eventually and Odie raised his eyebrows at us as he stood in the doorway.

"Dinner?" He said. "Been yelling at you for ten minutes." I glanced at my phone. Huh.

"Shit." Devon sighed and stood up. "I might have to skip dinner, I gotta study." I frowned and got ready to argue with him but Odie was way ahead of me.

"The rules are we eat dinner together if we're home. I don't make the rules, man. Besides, cunt, I spent like half an hour making this." Devon sighed.

"Fair." He said. Odie punched my shoulder as I followed Devon out of the room.

"Enjoy your play date?"

"Fuck off." I laughed.

--

The four of us were hanging out in the lounge on Thursday, smoking and talking shit.

"Pete is playing a gig at Valhalla tonight." Lucas said, glancing at his phone. "We in?" I yawned.

"You guys go, I'm doing a game thing with Dev." Riley and Lucas looked at each other.

"Pay up." Riley said. Lucas rolled his eyes.

"Not yet." He turned to me. "You've been hanging out with Devon a lot lately."

"Yeah he's fucking hilarious." I shrugged. "Nice to hang out with someone who doesnt smell like unwashed arsehole sometimes." Riley cleared his throat.

"You're hanging out with Dev because you like the way he smells." He said slowly, raising his eyebrows. I laughed and threw the nearest controller at him.

"Fuck you faggot, you all like Dev too."

"Yeah but we don't stare at him over dinner." Odie said. "We don't laugh at everything he says like it's the most hilarious shit anyone's ever said. We don't..." I cut him off by lifting my ass and farting in his direction. We all laughed as he trailed off, stunned.

"If its gay to enjoy playing pretend with a bunch of other guys then we're all fucking faggots." I laughed, gesturing towards the console setup we had in the living room. I glanced up to see Devon in the doorway, staring at me. "Speaking of which, me and this hulky dwarf have a date." I pulled the fingers at them and grinned at Devon.

"Beer before we head out or is this better sober?"

"Definitely not better sober." I picked up a beer to throw at him before remembering, and making room for him on the couch. He sat next to me cautiously and I carefully opened the beer and handed it to him.

--

We walked over to his friends house, about a half an hour walk. He told me about everyone else who'd be there- six of us total.

"They're kinda dorky." He muttered.

"Well I like you and you're super dorky." He laughed.

"Maybe uh... maybe don't call them dorky to their faces."

"Got it. Anything else?"

"Yeah ah... I know you think its lame but maybe cool it on like... faggot... cunt... that other thing you say..."

"All good. Like I'm talking to tupuna va'ine." Dev looked thoughtfully at me. He had a little bit of hair caught in his glasses. I couldn't stop myself, I gently pulled it out and tucked it behind his ear as he looked at me.

"What's um... tupuna wahine?"

"Va'ine." I corrected him. "Nana." He nodded, and the curl fell forward again. I was so tempted to reach out and play with it. I don't know why I couldn't keep my hands to myself. Something about Dev just made me a little crazy. Maybe it's just because he's so tall. He's so tall, just the barest hint of muscle, and basically completely smooth all over. He does have a patch of hair around his... I tried not to blush as I stopped my mind from wandering too far in a weird direction. The fuck was I on?

We walked in silence for a bit, as I thought about him.

"You're not Maori." He said after a bit. I laughed.

"Na mate, I'm an Islander. From Rarotonga."

"Oh." He smiled, exposing his braces. "Wasn't sure if it was a bit rude to ask."

"Never oa! Anyway, we're all cousins." I shrugged. "Where are you from, palangi?" Dev bit his lip.

"Well, funny story really. I don't know."

"Oh?"

"I mean, Mum and Dad and all my cousins have been here for generations but um... I'm adopted."

"Oh shit." He glanced at me and smiled with a shrug.

"I'm guessing the UK though." He grinned. "Just a hunch that I'm probably not an Islander." I grinned at his pale face and laughed. He's one of those guys who gets blisters after five minutes in the sun. Classic freckly ranga.

"Maybe not."

--

I liked his friends, but they weren't as funny as he was, and they took the game a little seriously. They kept telling me off for charging ahead and murdering people. What was the point of a whole pretend fantasy world if you can't murder people?

"He's not joining our campaign." I heard Ethan say as we took a smoke break. I was leaning against the window and I know I shouldn't have but... well I already told you I'm nosy. Dev sighed.

"You could stand to loosen up a bit." He said. I grinned. I knew Dev would have my back.

"He'll derail everything."

"So practise your improv. Be a better DM." I craned my neck to keep listening to them as they stood in silence for a bit.

"What's wrong with Henry?" Ethan said eventually. I heard Dev groan.

"Henry is boring and stuck up. And this isn't... it's not like that anyway. I just thought Marcus..."

"Keep telling yourself that." Ethan said. I frowned. Maybe I hadn't caught everything. I quickly straightened up as Ethan came outside and pursed his lips as he looked at me.

I hung back a little in the second half. As much fun as it was stabbing people, I had to admit there was a certain thrill in finding information and using our strengths to save the day... and it was nice that the others had stopped glaring at me every time I opened my mouth..

We finished up and Devon had to head home because he had an early class. He was looking at Ethan firmly. I glanced between them.

"So, Marcus. Um. Nice to meet you." Ethan said.

"You too cuz!" Devon cleared his throat a little.

"You... I... I can write you into the campaign if you like? We meet every third Thursday."

"Yeah! I'd be keen." Ethan sighed.

"Cool. Great. See ya next time. See ya Dev."

Dev was grinning as we walked away. I smiled and tried to keep up with him. His legs were too long and I had to sort of skip every now and then to match his pace.

"Oh. Sorry." He said, as he caught me. He slowed down and I laughed.

"You make me look like a midget."

"You are a midget." I paused, surprised at his teasing. I'm definitely not a midget, I'm a hair under six foot and I mostly do manual labour on the weekends to pay rent. Actually compared to most people I'm kind of a giant. He caught my eye and laughed.

"I think we're rubbing off on you." I said with a grin. "You used to be nice."

"I think I'm rubbing off on you." He countered. "That was incredibly good teamwork in the second half there."

"Whatever. I was doing that to get them to like me, I didn't really mean it."

"They liked you."

"Ethan didn't." Devon rolled his eyes.

"Ethan doesn't like anyone. Don't let it get to you."

"It doesn't get to me!" Devon raised his eyebrows and kept his mouth shut. I coughed. "Anyway, who has classes at 8am? That's obscene."

"If I have early classes I can work from 1-5 instead of 5-10 and then I can get home and study and stuff."

"Why do you study so much? You always do well." Devon laughed.

"I wouldn't do well if I didn't study."

"Did you know they pass you with C's?" He rolled his eyes.

"Bet you could get A's if you weren't such a slacker."

"I'm not a slacker! I carefully divide my time up to achieve optimal results."

"Slacker."

"Nerd." He shrugged.

"Yep." He smiled at me shyly. "I think you like that."

"I..." I suddenly got tongue tied and blushed. I don't know what the answer was to that. I mean, I did like him. A lot. Weird thing to say though. I kicked a pebble down the street instead of replying, and tried to work out why my hands were getting sweaty. I glanced at him and I noticed he was laughing.

"What's funny?" I scowled.

"You." He said. "Don't worry about it." I cleared my throat and kept up with him, confused. He was confusing all over really. I'd never known a guy like him.

—-

We were heading out to the pub a few days later. Devon was getting home just as we were heading out.

"Come with." Odie said. Dev bit his lip.

"Don't you dare say study!" I moaned. "You can take one night off. Come on, I'll buy you a round." He opened his mouth and paused. "That's a yes!" I cried out.

"That's not a yes!" He squeaked as I started to hustle him out the door with me.

"Good enough for me!" I grinned. He thumped me as we started walking down the street.

"Someone needs a lesson in consent." He grumbled. I shrugged.

"You can go back and study if you want, geekazoid." He looked at me.

"I'm already out." He mumbled.

"Good lad." I threw my arm over his shoulders- which was a bit of a reach, I'll be honest- and started singing as we matched towards Cuba St.

——

"Export or Tui?" I leant over the counter and pulled Devon forward to look at the options. Obviously they had more on tap but the $10 jugs are the only ones really in my budget. He looked at me.

"Is there an option that isn't shit?"

I rolled my eyes.

"You're an expensive date, Dev." I sighed and put my arm around his waist- that was definitely easier height wise. "Go on then, whatever you'd like." He stood stiffly under my embrace.

"Export's fine."

"Na really mate, this is unprecedented. What will it be?" Devon looked at the beers on tap and gently shoulder bumped me.

"Export, really." I looked at the bartender.

"One jug of Export and one pint of McLeod's Hazy IPA."

"Marcus!"

"Shut up and sit down." Devon sighed and went to join the others. I watched him leave and turned back to the bartender, Briony. She usually hooked us up with a free round after our third or fourth, providing we didn't get too rowdy. Riley had a major crush on her.

"He seems nice." She said. "Where'd you meet?"

"Ahhh... Vic Deals?" I shrugged. "He's our flatmate."

"Ohhh." She said. She looked at his retreating figure and back to me. "Is that weird?"

"Is what weird?" I said absentmindedly as I paid for the drinks. I looked up and she looked a little flustered.

"Nothing." She said. "Long day. Ignore me." I shrugged and went out to join the guys.

I was taking a leak about two hours later when I came out and Devon was sitting inside, in a booth. He was with some arsehole I'd never seen before who was pushing him way up against the wall. I frowned. Cunt. I sauntered over to them and leant against the booth. Devon glanced at me and the other guy followed his gaze.

"You good?" I asked the guy. He looked at Devon and raised his eyebrows.

"Do I... know you?" He said. I folded my arms slowly.

"Don't think you want to, mate." He sat back a bit from Devon, frowning. Devon sighed.

"Marcus..."

"He bothering you, Dev?" I glared at the interloper. He slowly moved away from Devon, looking between us. He sighed.