Kiss the Darkness Ch. 02

Christian marveled at the way in which Alexander spoke of his grandmother. "She sounds like an amazing woman." He told the boy. "I would have been honored to have met her."

"That she was." Alexander agreed. A hint of sadness crossed his young face as he thought of her. "I miss her dearly."

Christian felt pity for the boy suddenly. He could see the pain in his eyes; a pain that only comes from loss. How he wanted to scoop him up just then and crush him against his breast. He wanted to protect Alexander from all the pain and suffering in the world and make him forget all his troubles.

Alexander seemed lost in thought as he slipped his blouse on. It didn't even seem to matter to him that was Christian was standing there, silently watching him as he dressed. For the first time since meeting Alexander, Christian could see just how small and frail the boy actually was. His first impression had been correct that his shoulders were thin and narrow. There was a slight tone to his arms but he wasn't muscular by any stretch of the imagination. He rather looked like a child just on the verge of manhood. His chest was free of any hair though he did have a light patch of hair encircling his navel that tucked down beneath the towel that covered his lower half.

His chest was flat though the muscles pronounced enough to give it a slightly rounded appearance with the breast bone dipping down between the pectorals, and tracing a line along the center of his torso. His nipples, hard and pink, perked in the chilled air. The blouse he wore reached about mid thigh. Christian watched as he dropped the towel around his feet and he could see clearly now, the shape of his legs. Lean but defined by the tone of his muscles. His legs looked stronger than his arms, more fit. Probably from countless hours of walking, and climbing hills, or running through the fields of his home land.

Christian watched as Alexander slipped on a pair of grey stockings then stepped into his breeches; He pulled them up and tied them tightly about his waist. Next he tucked the blouse into the waist band then slipped on his vest and over coat. Lastly he pulled his boots on and tied his hair back with a piece of twine. Christian couldn't help but stare. When Alexander had finished he looked up and noticed Christian watching him.

"What?" He asked, confused by the look on Christian's face.

Christian shook his head slowly. "I just can't help it." He said softly. "I just can't help but notice...how very beautiful you are."

Alexander blushed some. "You can't really mean that."

"Why not?" Christian asked. "Don't you know how magnificent you are?"

Alexander shrugged. "There are men far more handsome than I, and more...strapping."

Christian laughed at that. "Lacking brawn or a rugged physique doesn't make you any less of a man."

Alexander looked to the ground feeling somewhat shamed by the statement. "There are those who would disagree with you."

"Then they are fools." Christian spoke sternly. "They are fools because they judge a man based on his appearance and not by whats in his heart."

Alexander looked up and narrowed his eyes. Christian looked into those eyes and saw the tears that Alexander was fighting back. "You say that appearance does not matter but you have never had to face the ridicule that I have. Men look at me and think me weak because I have a gentle heart. They mock me and call me a woman because I haven't the strength to wield a sword nor the knowledge to fight, but I am not weak, and I am not a woman! They think they can overpower me and take what they want from me but I would kill any man that tried to take me by force! You say these things do not matter but when people look at you they see a man, but what do you think it is they see when I am the one they are looking at? Men have been killed for far less!"

"Then let me be your sword. Alexander, let me protect you."

Alexander shook his head angrily. "I never asked for your protection. If you are so eager to protect someone then I suggest you find a women and leave me be." Unable to stop his tears from coming, Alexander covered his eyes and walked quickly past Christian, intent on leaving the room but Christian reached out suddenly and caught his arm.

"If I had wanted a woman, do you think that I would be here now?"

Alexander turned his head and dropped his arms to the side. "What do you want from me Christian?" He sighed.

"Your love." Christian spoke simply. "Nothing more or less than your love." He turned Alexander so that he was facing him. Reaching out, he wiped the tears that now stained Alexander's face.

"What you ask is impossible." Alexander whispered. "It would never be allowed."

"Then what am I to do? Deny this feeling that I have for you? Please don't ask me to do that because I can not. I will not!"

Alexander shook his head. "Do not deny it, but do not act on it."

"And live a lie?"

"That is how it must be. For both our sake."

Christian shook his head in disagreement. "I can not accept that, and neither can you."

"Christian I..."

"No." Christian put his hand under Alexander's chin and lifted his face up to meet his and their eyes locked. "Tell me that you do not feel the same way. Tell me that the kiss we shared meant nothing and I will go. I will walk out that door and you will never see me again."

Alexander exhaled deeply. "If I tell you that, then it would be a lie." He said softly. "The kiss did mean something. It meant a lot and I cannot deny what I feel for you, but this thing between us..."

"Call it what it is." Christian told him. "Say the word."

Alexander nodded. "Love." He whispered. "This...love...will never be accepted."

Christian groaned. "If what we feel for each other is so wrong then why does it feel so right? Why would the Gods fill our hearts with such love if it wasn't meant to be?"

"I don't have the answers Christian, I wish I did. I know in my heart that I love you but what we feel is..."

"Don't say it's wrong." Christian warned. "Of all the things I've done in my life I know, without a doubt, that loving you is right. From the first moment that I saw you I knew that we were meant to be. It's like I had always been searching, searching for that part of me which had been missing, and I didn't even know it. When I saw you, suddenly that emptiness inside was full and I was made whole." Christian pulled Alexander to him and embarrassed him with so much love and so much passion that Alexander felt faint.

"You did that for me Alexander. You are what I've been missing. You are what I've been searching for. And now that I have found you, I swear that I will not allow anything to keep us apart. I know that I love you, and I know that I can not survive in this world without you. You are the other half of my soul. I would rather die a thousand deaths than to spend just one day without you in my arms."

Alexander placed his hand on Christians chest, over his heart, and he lay his head against him. "You are my heart." He softly murmured. "I was dead until you found me and then you breathed life into me once more."

"Then say you'll stay with me." Christian pleaded with him. "Say you'll stay with me forever."

"Forever and always." Alexander whispered. "Always by your side. I promise."

"Thank you." Christian hugged him close and closed his eyes as a happy tear slipped down his cheek. "Thank you for loving me."

"Always." Alexander told him. "Always you and you alone."