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She insisted that I remain at her feet, curled into a ball of sorts, my knees tucked beneath me, until we arrived at her house. Evening had shifted into night, and I was escorted, still naked, across the street and through her front door. Once inside, I felt ill remembering the vile treatment I had endured there. Would I be forced to endure such treatment again, or worse? She would surely shave me bald, as she seemed to revel in that display. My hair was not long, but to have her take it from me would be devastating. She used to think of me as nothing but a pig, having grown so fat. My heart sunk thinking that those fates surely awaited me once again.
To make matters worse, I imagined Diana enjoying the wealth and comfort I once held as my own, knowing full well what she had prescribed for me. We had spoken of Sarah and her uncompromising hand, but for Diana to so willingly give me away to her, and even pay her to keep me, was diabolical. Now I was penniless, and completely at her disposal. What would ever stop her from utterly destroying me. There was no incentive to prevent her, my fortune entailed away to an ungrateful girl, not one and twenty.
To my surprise, I was not put back into the little coal closet I once called my bed, but rather brought above stairs to Sarah's rooms. My body now reeking of her urine, I was pushed into the bath. "Wash yourself, and come to bed." Surprised at such a seemingly inviting prospect, I hurriedly rinsed myself in cool rose water. When I emerged, Sarah was sitting on the edge of the bed, and motioned for me to join her. Was she really intent on my sharing a bed with her? Had all her threats of mistreatment been empty? Surely there was some devious undertone to this illusion of civility. As I laid next to her, she leaned over and kissed me. "Goodnight, cousin." I did not know what to make of it.
"Good night, Mistress." I whispered. As I drifted, my dreams were unsettling and full of sexual depravity. In all of them I was fat and bald, the prospect seeming to arouse me to no end. 'Could this truly be my fate?' I asked myself. Thinking her asleep, I turned to face her. "Surely you would not do that to me again." I whispered, but to my dismay her eyes popped open, their gleam reflecting what little light the windows offered.
"Oh, so much worse, my smelly little pig."
- COMMENTS
JessicaSover 6 years agoI read through chapters 1-5. I see the context now and appreciate the twists and turns, the conflict/drama you've constructed. This isn't a typical stroke story. We need more erotica on this level.
Sadly, I didn't warm up to any of the main characters. Sarah is petty and selfish, which hurts twice as much as she's family and should be especially protective and caring. Surprisingly, Diana isn't much better - she was sweet when she had to be, but given power, she turned it against Elizabeth. Not just the latest betrayal, the hair scene and the subsequent escalation were just wrong. Both relationships seem unhealthy. And Elizabeth is so self-destructive, it's bordering on mental illness. Arousal isn't enough to justify .. any of that. I did enjoy that good-natured shopkeeper though.
So at this point, I see the genre of this as an erotic tragedy. Which has its place I guess, I just struggle to enjoy suffering.
I am however intrigued. I can see change in Elizabeth as she grows older, so maybe it will turn around. It's not over until it's over. A warning - if you go for a downer ending, people will be pissed.
Saphhiaover 6 years agoAuthorJessica,
I know this particular chapter seems grim and hard to identify with. As far as the humiliation and disdain, this is a multi chapter novelette, and there will be ups and downs. Just as the second chapter seemed too much to bear, this one seems to throw Elizabeth back into the clutches of her evil cousin. All I can say is, be patient. As in any novel, there are some chapters which will annoy and others that will please. I've never been one to write in an overly optimistic tone, but try and balance the good with the evil. I thought of publishing this as a whole rather than in pieces, and in hindsight perhaps it would have been more well received. But, I normally do not write to please, so although I appreciate the ratings and comments I receive, I would write in any event, because I have to. The behavior of the staff, be patient. Diana's apparent deceit, there is a reason. All will be revealed, in time. Thanks again for your well thought out comment, and I hope you will continue to read.
Sincerely,
Saphhia
JessicaSover 6 years agoFirst I was worried that the nineteenth century style and mannerisms would make for an impenetrable story, but this was surprisingly readable. Clean style too. Flowery terms, but you warned us, so fair enough.
As for the subject matter, I like the idea of kissing cousins more than I care to admit. I'm just not sure about all the other kinks. Humiliation, control to the point of slavery - not exactly my cup of tea. I wouldn't mind if I enjoyed the plot and characters, but from what I've seen in this chapter, the prevailing emotions seem to be a mixture of hate and disdain. I like conflict and drama, if it's balanced with positives. This just feels too grim. Also it's hard to identify with the main character if this is what she wants.
A random observation - the staff is described as being amused at her state. I'd expect them being confused, offended, even worried. Some nervous laughter maybe, but it's hard to imagine anything that'd have made them so callous as to act the way they did. If that was just an unreliable narrator, I haven't seen any other sign of that.
This comment turned out more negative than I intended - I'm not saying the story is bad, it's really well written and interesting. It deserves more love, just like the characters in it.
