All Comments on 'Kissing Cousins Ch. 11'

does this means we won’t be seeing anymore slavery? I wonder otherwise. what have u got in store for us !!

keep writing,u r good 👌🏿

The whole chapter felt a bit like that grand adventure I was thinking about previously, so I very much enjoyed this.

The change of scenery and Eloise as a constant threat does the story good. I'm glad we got a few free and happy moments, especially the uplifting finish, but it still needs tension/conflict to keep the beat of the plot and provide us with these cathartic pauses. I'm sure you'll come up with something.

A nice nod to Sarah's past behavior and possible motives. I barely realized how much she changed since then, as did their relationship. Makes for a wonderful arc.

About the only criticism for this chapter would be McLaren's accent, specifically your rendition of it. In general I'm not a fan of style over substance. A word here and there would be fine, as would be a textual description of his accent, but his lines were just hard to read. Hoping the maid won't be the same.

Keep it up, I'm glad you're continuing with this series even during Enlightened Descent.

Thank you for the comments, as always they are appreciated. Jessica: To answer your question about McLaren's accent, written; I vacillated over this for a while. I guess having read several novels written in this style, one being The Observations, I found it phonetically pleasing, but rather challenging to read as you mentioned. The maid, well, let's just say she is certainly not Scottish. As far as slavery goes, there are several avenues I am exploring. All is not written, although an outline exists. As per Strunk and White, it's never advisable to stray too far from the plan. Then again, rules were made to be broken.

Saphhia