Know Your Position

A collaboration with Master Jewelcrafter.

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My hands are shaking and I have to grip the steering wheel tightly as I drive to your place. I have never been quite this nervous in my life. We have been talking for a long while. We have even been on a few dates; coffee at first, then dinner and a movie, even that one night at that BDSM club. We've always clicked. Even the first time we met there was just this connection there. After coffee that first night I knew you would be the one I submit to.

I am not nervous about that though. I never have been. I knew all along what I was getting into and what our talks and dates would lead to. I am nervous because tonight is the night. We decided at our date last week that we were both ready to take the next step. I was eager to say yes, and though I saw the famous grin of yours playing at your lips, you cautioned me. I did not take your warning lightly. I knew that once we crossed this bridge there would be no going back. It really did scare me. The thought that I may lose one of the best connections I've ever had, but I knew that to get the life I've always wanted I had to take this risk. So, after taking the few days you required for me to "really think about it", I texted you a resounding yes.

I wasn't sure what to expect and my heart skipped a beat when you replied with just your address and time. A few minutes later you told me to dress comfortably and as I normally would. Somehow this had me in even more of a panic. I decided on something simple. As I pull into your driveway, I start to second guess every decision I have made so far.

I stand at your front door, still nervous and shaking slightly. I try to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I mentally go through everything I have done to make certain I please you. I make sure to straighten out my clothes after the ride and run my hands over my light brown hair to make sure the oil I use to keep the frizz down is still working. Today is an important day for us, so I decided to do something you haven't seen yet. I straightened my hair. Usually, I leave it the way it naturally dries; curly and resting just past my shoulders. Today with no curl, it lands on the top of my breasts.

I gather it up and push it to the side slightly. I try to make sure it doesn't cover up my chest too much. I put a lot of thought into the perfect sweater. The black V-neck was not the first thing I tried on or the last, but I am glad I settled on it. It does a nice job of highlighting my breasts and they almost seem to be poking out the top, ready to spill out. The bra I have on helps with this and it gives me a nice and slightly wide cleavage. I paired this shirt with my "good butt jeans". They are not too tight, but they do a nice job of showing off my long legs and squeeze my ass and hips in all the right places.

Another deep breath and then I ring the doorbell. Waiting for you to answer, my mind can't help but run wild as I look myself over in the reflection of the tempered glass window on the door. I am happy with the hourglass-shaped figure I have, and I think my choices do my body justice. As I wait for what seems like an eternity, I start biting my lip. Should I have put makeup on? I don't usually, except for the few occasions you have told me to, but I wonder if you will think this is a lack of effort on my part. In all honesty, I wanted to display the real me, but now I am left worrying. The fact that I still have my lip between my teeth is probably the only sign I need to know I have made the right choice. I have always had the nervous habit, and if I would have had makeup on, my teeth would be covered in red lipstick.

***

I approach the door and see you standing on the other side. I am tempted to just stare at you and make you wait, but I only hesitate for a moment, looking you up and down. I don't spend much time admiring you. I know how nervous you get, which makes me wonder how well, you will take tonight. I am going to push you to your limit, maybe a little past it, but I have confidence you can endure it. I notice the outfit you picked out. I am quite pleased that even though you picked something comfortable to you, you still seemed to put a lot of thought into how you would present yourself to me. I can't help but smirk as I answer the door.

I invite you in by taking your hand and kissing its back. "Welcome." I keep an eye on you as I close the door behind you and wait to see what you will do. I notice the blush on your cheeks and watch as you take your flip-flops off and push them neatly into a corner. I told you to bring house shoes or slippers of some sort, not that you would have them on for long, but I wanted you to feel at ease. I should have known though that you would show up without them. "I hate shoes," you once told me over drinks as we waited for our appetizers to come. "If I could go everywhere barefoot I would."

I watch you a little longer and know, even though this is your first time here, you are too shy and timid in nature to venture in without me, so I give your hand a little squeeze, "This way, baby."

I lead you through the foyer slowly, letting you take everything in. Since it is your first time, I know you will want to see every detail from the hardwood floor to the dark mahogany tables that are more for decoration than practical use. I pull you along slowly as we head into the living room. I give you more time here to look around. You notice I have a few pieces from various conventions, but there are not too many videogame characters that you can see. Your attention seems especially taken with some of the abstract paintings I have hanging on the wall.

I wait for you to continue your tour and let you stare at the cabinet for a few minutes. There are many glass figures, nick-nacks, and trinkets inside, all with a story of their own. If you were to examine each and ask your questions, we would spend the night talking about my "nerdism", as you call it, instead of getting down to business, so I clear my throat to get your attention before you have that opportunity.

"Have a seat," I smile and gesture to the couch. I know you are still very curious, but there will be plenty of time for that later. "Do you prefer red or white wine?" I can't help but grin as I see the blush return to your cheeks. I know the answer. In fact, I know most of your food and drink preferences, but I want to hear you tell me.

***

I stare at the couch, my mind and my nerves causing my anxiety to spike. I wrestle with my mind to make a choice on where to sit. Finally, I decide on sitting as close to where you indicated as possible. And then I reply to your question. "Red please, chilled or with ice if possible." I know you like to tease me about this. I remember you laughing at me playfully the first time you ordered it for me at that steak place we went to before a movie one night. "Red is supposed to be warm, you know." But you winked at me and made sure the waitress chilled the glass instead of watering it down with ice.

"Chilled it is," you reply. I know this means that you had a bottle in the fridge for me. You don't usually store your red wine in the fridge.

I watch as you disappear into the kitchen and continue looking around from my spot on the sofa. I can barely see the entryway to the kitchen where I sit, and as I look down the hallway I notice a few more doors but they are all closed from what I can tell. Looking around the living room, more of your personality becomes quite clear. I can make out a few things in the cabinet, and I look over the multiple gaming consoles hooked up to the TV. It is quite an impressive collection. I see some older systems like the NES and the SNES, and their new "Classic" counterparts sit beside them. But there are newer systems too, a PlayStation that looks sleek and new, along with a Switch, and an Xbox that is black and green. I know nothing about gaming, but I am still impressed.

You return quickly with two glasses of wine and two coasters. It is amusing to see and I can't help but grin. "Thank you," I reply as I accept the glass from you and watch as you place the coaster within my reach. You have scolded me a number of times for the lack of coasters at my place. "You still need to take care of your things, even if they are the cheapest ones in the catalogue." The lecture itself didn't do much for my already water-stained coffee tables, but it did show me your character. You are the type of man that takes care of his possessions, whether it be material or flesh and blood. Then you asked for a rag and went to the fridge. I was sceptical when you began rubbing mayonnaise onto my coffee table. "Let it sit for a couple of hours." And we did. When you wiped the mayonnaise away, the ring was almost gone. "Do that to the rest of your stained furniture," you said. "I expect to see these rings virtually gone the next time I come over." It made me fall even more for you and the lifestyle we aspire for. I knew then that it wasn't just talking, that you were willing to put the work into me and us to make things work. And that's when I knew I had to be all in too.

As you sit, you raise your glass to me and we clink them together. "Salud," you say with a wink knowing it will make me giggle even before taking a sip.

I take a rather large sip of wine to try and calm my nerves before I place the glass down on the coaster. I am not sure what you have in mind for today, but I know that this is the turning point. We are taking the next step in our relationship, and no matter what that is, I am ready. But not knowing what's to come is scary as hell.

Again, your famous grin plays at your lips as you take a much more conservative sip of your wine before putting it down on the coaster beside you. As you stare at me, I feel like I am on display now.

"Are you enjoying your time with me thus far?"

The question kind of catches me off guard. Of course I am. That is why I am here. To spend more time with you and invest in a relationship that would hopefully lead to spending all my time with you.

I smile and look at you. I am trying to think of a cheeky little remark for you, but as I look at you, I know this is my future Master talking and I need to take this seriously. "Oh yes, very much so. In all senses." Once again, I blush as I look up at you. I often feel like I am too forward with my small confessions, but you never seem to mind.

"What has been your favourite so far?"

This is such a trick question. I have loved everything we have done. Especially the nights where we are just cuddled on the couch, or the night you made me take my thong off in the bathroom of a pretty fancy restaurant and bring it to you, or the night at a hockey game where you made me wear butterfly panties and played with me the whole night. They all hold a special place in my mind, but there is one common thread that has to be what I enjoy the most. As I play with the hem of my sweater, I advert my gaze, again shy about the "confession" I am about to make.

"I like how kind you are. You always make me feel so safe and secure. Even when we were at that BDSM club, you made sure I was comfortable and at ease. You never pushed or pressured me, you simply supported me and helped me break out of my shell." I shrug and bite my lip as I glance up at you. "I guess I just like spending time with you and growing."

***

I nod as you talk and can't help but smile. It is nice to know that you appreciate me and my style. You will always be safe with me. That is my silent promise to you as I give your hand a little squeeze and rub the back of it.

"And I want that to continue. I can be just about anything you want and need me to be, but I need that from you too."

I watch you process this. You take a moment to sip your wine with your free hand. Then with a smile and newfound confidence, I see the side of you I only get to see when I have you under my control.

"I am ready to be whatever you want me to be." And the way you meet my eye and stare at me has me convinced that you would do almost anything to make this work for us.

"I want you to be a lot of things for me. Things I will build and train you to be." I look at you now to make sure you are still on the same page. You seem to be. You are not shaking anymore, and you have kept eye contact with me this whole time. This is the confident submissive I love to see. It is amazing how simple domination can really make you shine, and much more confident in yourself.

"Now, I know you like spankings," I give you a knowing grin. "What about slapping?"

I can tell I have sparked something in you. You are quick to nod, but I see the red your cheeks take on. I know you are ashamed of some of the things that turn you on. We will work on that. I wait for you to elaborate a little. I want you to stand up for yourself, to make sure that your fears are heard and considered, but you don't. I want to hope that it is because you trust me that you don't think you need to put limitations to certain things, or express that you don't want anything too extreme, especially in the face. But you don't say a word.

I give you a comforting smile as I rub the soft skin of your cheek with my hand. "That's good. You like having your hair pulled." It is more a statement than a question, but I want you to confirm it for me one more time.

This brings a wider smile to your face and I can see your eyes light up slightly. You are proud of this one. You weren't always though; I remember trying to get a list of your likes out of you. It was like pulling teeth. You couldn't look at me and I tried not to push you too much that night. But hair pulling was one you confessed to me. And as you did, I titled your chin up so you had to look at me. I gave you a small lecture on how you should be proud of what you enjoy and not ashamed. And I made sure to drive it home by running my fingers through your hair. You liked that, you told me so, so proudly and with such a warm smile. I wanted to make sure every time you thought of your hair, no matter if it was being played with or being yanked on, you smiled. And it worked, clearly.

"Yes Sir," you reply proudly as you rub your cheek against my hand. "I love being controlled by my hair and having it used against me; pulled this way and that to your will."

"Wonderful." My hand slides behind your head now, just as it did that fateful night. It took me an hour of playing with your hair, tugging it this way and that so I could move your head and place kisses on your neck, to get you to comfortably say, "I like having my hair pulled." I want to reinforce that now. I take a handful of your hair and force your head back, just slightly, as I pull you towards me. Once you are close enough, I place small pecks at the corners and center of your lips, before kissing the tip of your nose. "My good girl." I pull you back gently and slowly release your hair.

I see the effect this has on you. You moan slightly and I see you watching my lips. You want a real kiss, I know, but this is about something much more than that. I watch you squirm slightly, your thighs rubbing together. I know your clit must be aching now, your pussy I can only imagine is starting to drip.

"You want to be owned right? To be completely under your Master's will? It will take time to get there, but is that what you want?"

***

I look up at you and for the first time since arriving here, I am not nervous. I am not scared. I have no fear, no conflict. "Yes Sir. I want to be owned by you, to be yours. I want to put my faith in you and give up control to you of everything."

I know I am ready. I have wanted this for a long time; longer than we have even known each other. Since I was a child, this need for a strict hand, for domination in my life has always been there. I spent so many years just floating around, never really finding my place or where I belonged until I found you. You grounded me, you told me that my wants, and my needs, were not stupid. That it was okay to be a follower; that wanting to be a housewife and mother was not something to be ashamed of no matter what modern-day "feminism" said. It was like you gave me permission to finally be myself.

"You know that level of submission can only be accomplished through a 24/7 dynamic. Are you ready and willing to start that journey?"

Am I ready? I have been waiting for this my whole life. While you change my life every moment we spend together, we have never spent longer than a week together. And it was one of the best weeks of my life. I am ready to be comfortable in my skin. I am ready to be free. And without hesitation, I look you dead in the eye.

"Yes Sir. I am ready."

I'm watching you. I love just staring at you. Your smile is infectious. And you are smiling again as you nod with my words. I wonder if you find me cute or if you are happy with my resolve. Maybe it is both. I watch you stand up and take a few steps before turning back to look at me. "You know my toys, but I want you to see my dungeon. It is small for now, but I want it to grow." As you say this you offer me your hand.

I can barely hide my excitement as I take your hand and stand up with you. I am so close now I can smell you. Your natural musk is just barely covered by the smell of your cologne. It is intoxicating. I barely notice where we are going until we stop in front of one of the closed doors.

"Normally, I keep this door locked when I have company. This room will be many things for us. There isn't much here right now, but it will grow as we grow." You turn the knob and push the door open. You sweep your hand inside the room and flick the light on.

You call this "not much", but I am still slightly slack-jawed as I walk in. My mind is already starting to imagine all the uses for these things. I blush as I see the stripper pole in a corner by itself. There is definitely enough room to dance around it, and it reminds me of the lap dance I gave you at the BSDM club.

"You are free to explore the room and ask any questions you have," you smile and give me a nod. "Here is where you will be punished, rewarded, trained, played with, and anything else I see fit."

As I walk over to the stripper pole, all I can think of are the songs I have heard over the years. The ones that I have definitely moved my hips to and thought what it would be like to strip to. I run my hands up and down the metal pole and smile as I test it slightly. I use my hand to swing around on it and blush as I realize how easy and natural that had come.

"Obviously, the stripper pole doesn't need much explanation. You will put on shows for me, strip, and dance. And you'll be in charge of picking out songs you'd like to dance to." It is as if you can read my mind and I blush as I move along.

On my way to the next corner, I notice a seemingly small toy just sitting in the middle of the floor against the wall. I almost didn't notice it. It seemed just like a small leather box, but upon closer inspection, I see it is a Sybian. The little raised area is a give-away to what it is, even though the area where a dildo could be attached is empty at the moment. I have never used one, but I can only imagine being forced to sit on it for a long period of time. It sounds like bliss and yet pure torture. Across from the pole is a set of D-Rings. They are drilled into the wall, two high and two low. I know exactly what these are for. There is nothing hanging from them now, but I can imagine chains running through them or cuffs being clipped to the rings. It all leads to me hanging from them, and the thought makes me bite my lip as my body responds. And finally, there is a spanking bench in the corner. I have only seen this in porn, but I know it can be used in a number of ways. I trail my fingertips over the leather of the padding and I smile to myself as I think of being bent over it and spanked, probably with a nice paddle. Along the same wall is a large wooden box. I have saved this one for last. It looks like a simple shipping crate; the only exception is that it is carved with beautiful swirls and decorative designs. It is about four feet tall and close to four feet long. I have never really seen anything like this used before. I inspect it closely, thinking I may find a hole somewhere, like a glory hole, or something like that. But there is nothing. I am slightly embarrassed to ask about it, but no matter how long I stare at it I cannot figure out what it is or what purpose it serves, especially in a room like this.