All Comments on 'Laid out on the ice'

Like the story, a little more depth on the characters would help. Keep writing!

Not an "author" but lots of college papers so....

Most effective way to self edit is to read your piece out loud.

Helps for catching the "wrong word spelled right" that spellcheck misses and awkward usage will just "sound wrong". Also forces you to slow down and read what you wrote rather than skimming along "seeing" what you meant to write.

Decent plot, good pacing, keep at it.

The last three paragraphs don't belong. You started a second story and didn't finish it.

Looking forward to the rest.

Thank you for your comments and advise.

I am working on the second part of the story. It will be in the loving wife section. But it will be a while. I am not really an author. I write because I enjoy it.

It takes me a long time to work a story out in my head before I write it.

Thanks again.

And I will take your suggestion and read the next one out loud to myself. I'm sure it will help.

Good story, I enjoyed it. Keep writing, keep studying the writing resources on this site, keep learning. Enjoy yourself. Thanks for posting.

YOU need to proof read your story.

Wait a day after you finish it the read it and some very apparent mistakes such as repeating the same sentence or leaving out necessary conjunctions or periods and commas commas.

That aside a good story.

Oh, invest in gramercy and use spell check.

Again, good read but correcting the above would have polished it.

Keep at it!