by mnshyguy
The plot was simply excellent... But the characters' talking was a bit exagerated, just like it was in a play. Perhaps changing the way they talk would make this into a great re-write...
Beyond that, I enjoyed it a lot. 5stars
IF you read this out loud like you should have you would be ashamed to even think of posting it. nobody talks like that there are words missing. IF you talk like this you must have a big mental problem get a GOOD EDITOR and delete this series and do proper rewrite.
'WOW THAT THING IS HUGE" thing---I quit reading at that point==Up till there it was pretty good
This is one of the better stories that I have read in this genre. I look forward to reading your other stories in this set. Thanks for your fine work.
Good story line, and I am hoping that you are going to follow up with more chapters. Is it possible that the two may end up at the same college?
Awww Geee please don't stop yet that was triffic story please continue on ch. 02 more bsout there cousin and there parents thanks cfh
We await the next adventure, will she go to his college and become room mates ?
This is the first really hot story I got to read before most of the other folks on this site. What a great story line you've started. AND I do mean STARTED. The young couple are really great, and the future looks pretty hot as well. Fine effort. Write more.
Wonderfull storie. I cant wait to find out what the aunt said.