All Comments on 'Lapdancing Girlfriend Ch. 05'

Was an awesome chapter really enjoyed the anal scenes. doesn't mater how long it is cause if it was a book it would be pages so whats the difference if its on paper or on here. only complaint i have is that it was a long time before the chapter came out :)

Yes, a bit long but still one of the best stories ever put up here. I just hope Part 6 does not take so long. Congratulations! Jen/Diamond is a star! Ken

Appreciate the comments! I know some parts fell short. Some of that was editing...I was always leery on the length of the chapter and some scenes were purposely removed to shorten the scenes. Another part of was just Fate. I had a bunch of Truth/Dare questions involving the shot glasses, but wrote the story as I actually played out the game, with an actual spinner and Excel spreadsheet. When there was an impossible move, the game forfeited; when a Truth/Dare question, it was randomly selected from a list "drawn" by the computer. Unfortunately, random chance did not pull many of the shot glass dares, LOL.

Other sections I just felt "rushed" to get the chapter out. Feedback always has mixed results, but in the end, I felt rushed to get this chapter published. For me this is merely a hobby, and it felt like work many times over so I know some scenes were less involved than others. Character development takes time, and in the end, a literary masterpiece is not what many people want. You would not believe the number of "Too long, did not read, you get a 1" PM's I've received or deleted from the comments section.

Also, this site being what it is, I often give more on the sex side of things and take away from the characters themselves. I have a set plot outlined for the entire story, and the next couple chapters merely show Diamond's degradation into the industry. I'm sure they'll be "hot" releases, but probably not too in-depth in regards to the story, but that's what is expected here, so I have to appeal to the masses for the higher votes. Nothing is set in stone, and writing next on my Skyrim and Annie series, so who knows!

I think to me this was a mixed bag chapter. First off the length wasn't actually a problem as I at least didn't feel bored when reading it. The pacing unfortunately wasn't very good. We got some good development at the beginning but then after the second photo shoot things did move up extremely quickly when compared to before. I think you got too much detail at first and then cut out at the end.

As for the plot, I know this serves more as a stroke story to some but you obviously put a lot of dedication to the plot. It does suffers from the same things a lot of these type of stories(cuckold, in this case kinda) do and that's weak characters. When I read the last chapter I actually thought the characters were going to try to get out of their situation, but here I am 49 pages later and we're still affirming Chuck's hold on the "couple".

The FBI here is a joke, the way Chuck conducts his business is really strange for it to be so successful. But I guess I can let it pass since it's fiction, but Dan not acting in any situation he is thrust into and Jen's incredibly convenient disease excuse for the things she does undermines the who the audience roots for. Chuck gets what he wants not from some genius moves on his part but from stupid things the other characters do. I just wish you would make this story something different from the standard cuck story. Here's to hoping the next chapter shows something different in the main characters attitudes.

Now for the praise, the sex scenes are really good and they didn't feel too long. You have a really great talent to showcase these scenarios and your attention to detail really pays in them. I just wish you would show more of a progression on the elevator and the drive scenes. They were the best in this even though there's no sex involved yet. The lesbian scene didn't do much for me but I'm not a fan of those so I'm biased. Shame you also didn't explore much on the glass of cum in the hotel. I still think Jen should have stayed with the dried cum for more time. Maybe even gone to work like that. But that's a fetish of mine.

Sorry for the wall of text but I felt this chapter deserved a little more than "it's good, keep on".

I had to wait forever for this! That said, it was worth the wait but could be much better.

Doc, there were typos and other mistakes PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get yourself a beta editor to go through everything to catch and correct the errors.

The story is as descriptive as hell, that's all to the good but, it can be a bit too much. Getting lost in the nitty gritty details can bog down the story. I know you've researched everything indepth and it adds to the credibility of the story–if I didn't know better I'd say that you actually are Dan.

The plot idea is good, Jen/Diamond's degradation has driven the story so far but, we need to see more of Dan, we need to see more of DeWight's operation and we need to see Dan and Diamond/Jen get in gear, do something to get their lives back and hurt DeWight in the worst way by stealing the business away from him and burying him so deep that even the FBI will never find the grave.

That said, I'm looking forward to the next installment and I'm hoping that it will be as good, if not better, than the chapters that preceded it.

The scene with Nick and Jen after the party is good, but it takes 40+ pages to get to it. It works because Jen gets it right in front of Dan. The author too often uses 500 words when 50 would do, but the chapter isn't bad. The first chapter in this story is still by far the best.

Once again, thank you all for the comments and feedback, both here and via PM's.

@smilingcoyote74--you're not the first to comment on how short the story reads even with it's length. The length of the story, if you've been keeping up with my blog, has been one of my biggest concerns, so I am glad I got things flowing well enough that people did not notice it!

You'd be surprise the number of "Too long, did not read" comments I've received, people saying they were giving me a 1 just out of spite for the length of the story. I don't mind bad votes if warranted, but to give it just because they did not read it is upsetting...but such is the anonymity of the internet.

To those that do read it, appreciate the comments, criticisms, and feedback!

Best read. A short read despite the length. Amazing how Doc made every sex scene different because of the characters and setting. Just simply the best read here!

Definitely worth the wait.

Whaooo.

This chapter take the Lapdancing Girlfriend to a whole new level. I still prefer the "Annie" Story. But this chapter deserve 5 stars (your third chapter of Annie deserve 6 stars, if only this was possible).

Thank you.

Gave it a 5.

Read the the entire chapter.

Thanks everybody for the comments and feedback so far. As many know the length of the story had been something I had been hesitant on, but as many said, nobody is forced to sit and read it all at once :p

This chapter is fraking awesome, its long but well paced so it flows fast (lol took 2 sittings to read all of it) and hot. Probably the best instalment from Docis yet and he is my best writer on here.

Doccis: From the couple of quick read of parts of chapter #5 I have givin you 5 stars. It will likely be several days / week before I will have finished Lap 5. Will send you feed back at that time.

Thank You for the year long effort to write this chapter. Take a break!!!

7 Mile.

As I've mentioned on my blog, this was a huge-assed chapter...but I wanted to keep it all together because it fit with how I wanted the story broken up. There was some give and take in the scenes, some being longer than I wanted, others shorter, but hopefully there's enough to please most everybody!

I've kept the days split with ****** breaks for people who only want to read a bit at a time...so hopefully you all enjoy!