Last Affair with Mom

I've told my family to have dinner without me because I have a late appointment in my office. I'm a psychologist and author. Aside from seeing patients, I also speak with interesting people and tell their stories in my books.

There's a woman named Elena who's desperate for a meeting, but won't give any details for some reason. She's persistent, which always raises a bit of intrigue. I've already done some research on her. She runs a successful high-end Italian restaurant and bakery in this city. Mature in age, strong in stature. From the online pictures I've seen, she looks like a woman who might have a decent tale.

When she knocks on the door and I let her inside, my intrigue grows. This woman has a commanding presence like an old school movie star. She even dresses like a woman of value. This interview is anonymous so she has freedom to say whatever she wants.

"Apologies for the hour," she says. "My day starts early and ends late. Here, I brought you something."

She hands me a box of pastries and I can smell the buttery aroma, but I can tell from her voice that she isn't sympathetic, it's more of a formality that she's giving me. I can also tell that she's used to ordering people around. Certain people are born leaders and she comes across as a hardened entrepreneur. I respect that.

"Thank you, it smells delicious," I say, putting the box on a nearby table.

"And I know you have a family," she says. "So I'll get to the point. This is worth your time, I guarantee it."

"Well, that's what we're going to find out. Have a seat. Let's get started."

Elena sits in my office, gets comfortable, and looks around at the bookshelf and photographs that decorate the room. Her posture is upright and her manner of dress is immaculate. Although she presents herself as a stoic woman, her fingers give a slight tremble and she rubs her hands together.

"Nice place," she says. "Excellent decor."

"Thank you. I'm here all the time, might as well have style. Now, I'm going to press record. Tell me a little about yourself first. As we had already discussed, your identity will remain completely anonymous. Just give an impression about who you are."

I press the record button.

"Sure, thank you for having me. I'm a 48 year old woman, I'm single after being widowed a few years ago. I've worked in the restaurant industry all my life, Italian food. I was born in Italy and I came here in my teens. I've always loved the arts, culture, and the sense of occasion around eating. That's why I'm a proud restaurant owner. Simple as that, I work all the time."

"But somewhere there's more," I say. "Why else would a woman who runs a busy restaurant and bakery want to spend her evening in my office?"

She gives a sly smile. "Correct."

"What brings you here? What's your story about?"

Elena gets comfortable in her seat. "My story? I would say that my story is about history, life, passion, my family... my son."

The way her voice changes tone when mentioning her son is suspicious, borderline sexual, and I've never heard a mother speak about her son that way. Elena doesn't have social media accounts for personal use, but she has social media for her businesses.

On the different pages she uses (website and social media) there is constant mention of family and tradition. I remember seeing a picture of Elena with her son, smiling together, but now the context is totally different.

I sharpen my gaze at her. "Okay, that's interesting."

"Do I have your attention?"

"Yes, you do."

"Good, it's always fun being mysterious."

"What's the current relationship with your son?" I ask.

"Do you mind if I give some context first?"

"Sure, you have an open platform."

"Okay, thank you," she says. "About five years ago, after my husband passed, I decided to move back to Italy for the rest of my life. It was a spiritual calling to return to my homeland and family. I also have business opportunities in Italy as well. But that's not important for this conversation.

She continues, "The obvious problem is that I'll be leaving behind my son, Michael, who was born and raised in this country. He's 29 with a stable job and he's recently married. I intend to fly back to America every so often and I'm sure Michael would be thrilled to visit me with his new wife.

She continues, "But as a mother, I knew there would be something missing in my life without my son. We've always been very close. He actually lives a few blocks away from me. He's my heart and soul. I made sure he was there during all the important milestones in my life. And I was there for all the important milestones in Michael's life in return."

Just as she gets her rhythm going, Elena stops and looks down at her heels. She struggles with guilt and maybe shame for telling me something like this. It's becoming more clear what she does with her son, but I'll leave that for Elena to explain.

"Can I ask you something?"

She looks at me. "Sure."

"Are you romantic with your son?" I ask.

"Yes."

"I'm assuming that's the main thing you wanted to discuss today."

"That's right," she says. "I was hoping you would share this story in your next book, because this is more common than people realize. I've started doing extensive research on this subject. I want mothers who participate in this to realize they aren't alone. I want them to know that they can be moral and spiritual, yet still be considered good women, even though they do something like this."

"What made you decide to do it?" I ask.

"My son was a virgin. Until a few months ago, Michael never had sex with anyone. My husband and I raised him to be religious, to save himself for marriage, and I made him swear before God that he would agree. Looking back, I wondered how much of that had stunted his growth when dealing with women. I knew it was the right choice, but was Michael less of a man? The question haunted me.

She continues, "As I planned to return to Italy, the question lingered. Then I realized that this would be my farewell gift. The best thing I could do -- as a mother -- would be turning my son into a man. Someone who could face anything and stand up to anyone. I remember stepping naked out of the shower, looking at my reflection in the mirror, wondering if I could still arouse young men.

She continues, "There's a young man who lives next door. Sometimes he says, 'hello' to me and we make small talk. It's been that way for years. I can hear when he's in the backyard and we have a fence between us. One day, I heard him outside, then I went to my backyard wearing a silk robe. That's all. Nothing underneath. I untied my robe, pretending to water some plants, and I let the wind do its job, blowing my robe open.

She continues, "That was step one, which was a success. I had the courage to be in my backyard with my front side exposed. I could tell my neighbor was staring at me, but neither of us said anything. My neighbor didn't want to spoil the show. In the days that followed, he was extremely cordial everytime he saw me, offering to carry my groceries and do any chores I needed done. It was then that I realized I was still attractive to young men, that my body could work wonders."

"That was the moment you decided to seduce your son," I say.

"That's right."

"And what about Michael's partner? No judgment, but as a woman, did it bother you to snatch Michael's virginity away from the wife?"

Elena laughs. "Actually, I'm glad you asked."

"Why is that?"

"Because I did have consideration for Tiffany, that's her name. She's also very religious, around the same age, she works as a nurse. I never inquired, but I was certain she was a virgin based on her body language.

She continues, "It took two weeks of praying and self-reflection to decide if I should do this or not. It was the greatest struggle of my life, and the more I thought about it, the more aroused I would become. My sex life was non-existent after my husband passed. Everything was work, work, work... and also my son and the rest of my family. Thinking about taking my son's virginity made me wet at night, something I hadn't anticipated happening.

She continues, "I went to Tiffany's apartment after texting her and arranging a private meeting. It was on the weekend, early morning, and she knew it was important. I'm a blunt person, I believe in plain speaking and honest communication. Tiffany made coffee and we talked about the wedding.

She continues, "Just like that, I told her everything. Tiffany sat there while I explained my desire to move back to Italy, while also confessing the intimate feelings of being a mother. She's a smart girl with a good heart, so she listened and tried understanding my perspective. We had a beautiful conversation."

"How did she feel about that?" I ask.

"She kept seeking clarity. But I knew, she thought I lost my mind, which was a fair opinion. I'll be the first to admit that my desires are unusual, but they are justified. I did the best I could to explain myself and Tiffany just sat there, stunned, wondering what had gotten into me. She knew I was serious because I spoke with moral conviction about what I wanted. I also told Tiffany, that one day when she's a mother, she would have an easier time understanding.

Elena continues, "I knew that I put Tiffany in a tough predicament. She told me she was also a virgin, that she was saving herself for Michael on their wedding night. I sympathized with her wholeheartedly. I knew I was stealing something from her, something she'd never, ever be able to get back. I wanted to take away one of the sanctities of marriage, so I had to give her something in return.

She continues, "The focus of this confession is for Michael, so I'll keep this part brief. I got on my knees, in between Tiffany's legs, and I begged for her approval. I'm old fashioned and traditional, so getting her blessing was something I required, or else I couldn't live with myself. She was speechless at first, she stammered a bit, it was impossible for her to give a straight answer.

She continues, "I kissed her legs, which made her freeze. Tiffany's body was tense and I kept on kissing, which was my way of begging for any kind of approval. When she didn't stop me, I went all the way. I removed enough of her clothes so that I could press my mouth against her labia. Maybe I'll explain more details later, but that's what happened. That's how I got Tiffany to approve."

"Had you been with a woman before that?" I ask. "Ever fantasize about it, at least?"

"No, never. No. I try not to think such deviant sexual things, but I know it's more common in the younger generation. It was a fair trade, I thought. Michael wouldn't be a virgin anymore, so it was only fair that Tiffany had a similar experience. I treated them equally. Tiffany agreed to keep everything secret until I could tell my son."

The discomfort in the room is palpable. I'm sure Elena is mortified by telling me this, but she keeps composure. We're both tense, being on edge from a difficult conversation, but it's important that we finish this.

"How did things progress with your son?" I ask.

"Quickly, but it was complicated. I arranged to spend a weekend morning with Michael, taking him to the best shop for a custom wedding suit. He was dressed casually, but I wore a classic dress and a pearl necklace. I even had my hair done. He noticed, but didn't say anything. We both knew that this was special.

She continues, "A few days later, the shop owner called me and I picked up the outfit. The owner is a friend of mine. Anyway, I called Michael to come to my house the following weekend to try on the wedding suit. He looked so handsome. I was wearing a nice dress with fancy jewelry. Then I explained everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes, everything," Elena nods, taking a deep breath.

"How did that go?"

"He had the same reaction as Tiffany, just utter disbelief. God blessed me with a strong voice, so when I speak, people listen. And my son listened to my desires and regrets. I told him that staying a virgin was the right choice, but as the mother -- as the only parent -- it was my duty to make him a man before I leave."

"I'm sure Michael was flabbergasted," I say.

"To use crude language, pussy is pussy to a young man. He loves Tiffany with all his heart, but I have something that Tiffany doesn't, which is experience and a mature body. He didn't agree to my request, but he didn't refuse either.

She continues, "Michael sat on my bed, timid and uncomfortable, the way a virgin man would act. But even more nervous than the average virgin because I'm his mother. As hard as it was for Michael, it was even harder for me. I've been through many challenging things in my life, but nothing could prepare me for dropping my dress to the floor while my son looked at me. I stood in my bra and panties with a pearl necklace on. When I dropped my bra, I reflexively covered my breasts with my hands, feeling my hard nipples in my palms.

She continues, "Allowing him to see my nipples was a unique experience. I've experienced many things in life, good and bad -- but nothing prepared me for the sensation of baring my chest to him. He asked to see them, you know. When I couldn't move my hands away, he told me to put my hands down. That's when I gave him a complete view with only a pearl necklace on my chest. My nipples were fully erect.

She continues, "The look in Michael's eyes spoke volumes. He told me that he'd seen bare breasts from girlfriends, but to him, these were different. He didn't go into further detail, but I know he thought mine were more beautiful. Mine are mature. Mother's breasts, that's what they are. These are mother's breasts. That's what makes them so special."

Her hands gestured to her chest when she said that. Elena seems proud of the fact that her body could elicit such a firm response from her son.

She continues, "The same thing with my panties. I bent down, which made my breasts hang forward, a sight which he also enjoyed, and I removed my panties. Again, my hands reflexively covered my crotch. My pubic hairs are curly and I debated whether or not to shave. I decided against shaving because I like that it makes me look older. I feel it gives me a certain advantage over younger women.

She continues, "Everything came off, except for my pearl necklace and jewelry. I'm comfortable being naked in my bedroom and my husband saw me naked all the time. But in front of my son? God, I'm amazed I didn't have a panic attack, yet my arousal had reached new heights. Both of us were at a loss for words. I could tell that Michael thought I was a stunning vision. His eyes said it all.

She continues, "In the absence of more words, I laid on my bed. My toes were stiff, pointed towards my son. I could hear Michael breathing heavier. We stayed in our respective positions for a while, breathing heavier from nerves, then controlling our breathing. It was an odd experience, but surprisingly it wasn't awkward anymore. We made peace with our eventual coupling, like it was inevitable between us, like it was our fate.

She continues, "My eyes were looking at the ceiling and I waited for Michael to make the next move. After all, if he's to become a man, then he needed to learn how to hunt like a man. He needed to learn how to claim what was his. He had a burst of energy and jumped on the bed, laying next to me. It was like we were lovers and the nerves were gone. It had been years since I was naked in bed with a man beside me. It was a feeling I missed and I was glad it was with my son.

She continues, "I helped remove his clothes as he laid on the bed. He was on his back, I was on my side. I admired his youthful body. I was aroused seeing his chest heave, the poor guy was becoming nervous again, but he was mentally preparing to lose his virginity.

She continues, "He'll never admit it, but I think his main source of motivation was that I'm his mother. He used to be shy growing up and I always did my best to teach him to be competitive and assertive. When he was eventually stripped naked and we were laying in bed together, it was his chance to prove his tenacity. Something was rising from deep within him. Call it maternal instinct, but I knew my plan was working. Michael was becoming a man for the sake of his own mother.

She continues, "Michael's penis is just like his father's, the same length and girth, same color. It throbbed in anticipation of first intercourse. Like I said, I'm sure he was throbbing because of me. I was certain that erection is harder than the one Tiffany would have received on their wedding night. They say a mother is a son's first true love, I'd say that's an accurate statement.

She continues, "Imagine my surprise when my good boy, virgin son turned into a lion and mounted me with force. I got the sense that this was something he wanted for a long time. What a fool I was for not noticing earlier. He'd wanted to fuck me all along. How could I have possibly missed that? I had to put my hands on him to calm him, to slow his senses, to let him savor the feeling of his first sex. I told him, 'Mother is here. Go slowly. Go slowly.' Of course, he didn't listen to me. He was a man, taking what he wanted. He wanted to make me scream, to unleash his lust.

She continues, "The sex was fast and intense. Our eyes were locked. He fit inside me the same way my husband fit. It had been years since I last had sex and my son broke the dry spell and opened the flood gates. I'm glad it was him. And I'm glad I got to have his virginity. And his cum? I'm glad he gave it to me. I was filled with his potent fluids and his penis was coated with my juices.

She continues, "We laid there afterward, side by side. No longer as mother and son, but as lovers. I put my hand on Michael's chest, over his heart, and said, 'I gave you this first pleasure. Your mother did this.' He held my hand and thanked me, saying he loved me. We kissed on the lips and then he got dressed. That's the story of our first love making experience."

There's a moment of silence as Elena composes herself. She's thought carefully about how to tell this story and compose these words for my book, but it's the first time she has ever spoken about this to anyone.

"Sharing that must have been difficult," I say. "It's the first time I've ever heard anything as taboo as that. Thank you for telling me."

"It's for a necessary cause."

"How has this changed you as a woman? Or as a mother?"

Elena thinks for a moment. "Nature always finds a way to make life come full circle. When a son's forbidden manhood returns to the womb that birthed him, life feels complete -- in my view. Nothing is more natural than sexual intercourse and often times the lovers are family. Family is where 'love' is born and sometimes a young son's passion returns to the source of mom's affection.

She continues, "I've done so much research on this matter. The concept of maternal lust for a son is as universal as sex itself. Over the centuries, there has been more semen shared between a mother and son, than any other kind of family sexual relationship and it will continue as long as mothers and sons are driven by lust and desire for the pleasure of intercourse. Quite honestly, keeping sex in the family is more commonly practiced today than people can imagine.

She continues, "I've even connected with a few women online -- mothers in similar situations of incest -- after fucking my son for the first time. So to answer your question, I'm a different woman from having done this. A different kind of mother. My capacity to love is now greater than I ever thought possible."

"Exquisite words," I say. "Even though we've never met before, it sounds like you've undergone a remarkable psychological shift as a result of these actions."