All Comments on 'Laura Stars with her Black stallion'

The idea of a wealthy woman hiring a porn star and making a private video is a great idea. You have supplied enough detail to make it viable. Unfortunately there are too many errors in grammar, incorrect words in sentences and punctuation errors to make the story readable. Having to go back two or three times to read a sentence in order to make sense out of it derails the train of thought. I don't want to discourage your writing as you have talent and original ideas. All of the problems are fixable using another person to edit. I believe Lit has a list of people who are capable of making your stories 5 star. Keep writing!

Good story, good ideas. Typing one handed (lol) may be grammar problem. Do not let criticism stop you from writing. Over 80,000 hits is quite good.

Wonderful premise! Great details - especially the thong section.

Great read with room for editorial improvements.

About to read Chapter 2!

After your 1st hot, hot, HOT story, I’d hoped that the advice about seeking out an editor would be heeded.

Even if you don’t enlist the services of an editor, I think if you’d give your story a follow up reading some of the faults would become readily apparent.

Good luck with your writing and editing!

You are a fantastic erotic written Laura.

Please keep them cumming Love.

You had me edging all through the 3 chapters.

I am an avid family of inter racial porn.

Where Slutty White Bitches get used by Big Black Stallions.

XOXO Darling Laura, Love

Your Black Daddee

Looks like the Author shares his fantasy with us. This one is much better than Part 1. It looks a bit like this is a different writer. I guess no, but there is more ambition on this work.

Now for the probs. After half of the story i have detected more and more mistakes at orthography and grammar. Could be from the beginning but i noticed it in the midst of the story. It disturbs the reading. All in all the interracial, marriage and slut theme is also overused like in Part 1, but not that much.

I like this more than the first story, but i am not pleased. So i will not vote, mostly i avoid low ratings.