Laura's Cardinal Ch. 02

By now, I had tears running down my cheeks as two side-by-stars flew across the sky.

"I wish I could have met you. Steve talks a lot about you. I think that we would have hit it off like sisters."

This time a slow-moving star drifted above us. Hovered for a second. Twinkled and slowly moved off.

This time I felt tears fall on my arms... Amanda's tears.

We slept peacefully together for the first time. Our warm bare bodies never losing contact as we drifted off to our new dimension. A dimension, shared only by our souls.

....................................................

Walking into Silvia's Diner the next afternoon, after the lunch crowd left, Silvia took one look at Amanda and smiled the biggest smile that I've ever seen.

"And I thought that the glow I saw this morning when I got up was only coming from the sun."

Amanda turned with an embarrassed smile to bury her blushing face into my shirt. It was cute.

.........................................

The summer was coming to an end. Fall was just around the corner, the month that always made my heart ache... October.

I had always visited Lara's grave on the anniversary of when she was taken from me. This year was going to be no different. But it was going to be different. This year I wasn't planning on visiting alone with a heavy heart. This year I was hoping to put some closure on everything with this visit and move on with my life with Amanda.

My parents knew that I was coming back for a visit. They also knew that I wasn't going to be alone and were really happy for me and couldn't wait to meet the 'Lucky Girl'.

I had kept up my communications with Laura's parents on what was going on in my life... my travels. They knew that I had stopped traveling and that I was spending time in Montana. When I had emailed my parents that I was coming back for a visit and that I was bringing someone special with me, I did the same with Laura's parents... unsure what the response would be. My day brightened at their response. It was the same as my parents, "Can't wait to meet the lucky girl'.

One mid-September evening, after a meal of grilled venison steaks, sitting in the hot tub with a bottle of our favorite red wine, and my arms around Amanda's bare body, she looked up to the heavens as she always did. This time though I could tell that she was on the verge of tears.

I knew that something had been bothering her all day. She was quiet and withdrawn.

"Steve, they're all out there aren't they?"

I was pretty sure what she was referring to.

"Yes. I firmly believe it."

"I always thought so too. I guess I want to believe it. I read Plato's Cosmology, which says that every soul has a companion star that it returns to upon death, so long as it lived a just life."

I was impressed.

"Wow, you read and understand Plato?"

A gentle smile, "Yes. He's one of my favorites. He helps me fill those dark and cold winter nights."

Then a playful smile, "And now that we're going to live together, we need something else to do in the wintertime, in those rare moments, when you're not ravishing my body, or I'm not having my way with your body."

A light kiss to her cheek brought a warm smile.

"And, after talking to Laura the other night, I firmly believe it."

Taking a sip of her wine.

"I never told you about my parents and how they were killed.

"I loved my mom and dad. I know that they were disappointed that I dropped out of school. I think that they were happy that I wanted to stay close to home and not move off to some big city. I guess in hindsight, it gave me time to spend with them that I would have otherwise missed out on."

She sat looking up at the stars, then brushed away a tear, and sighed, as she gathered her thoughts on that painful memory.

"They were on their way back from an evening church service. They weren't going fast. My dad never drove fast, especially at night. I think mainly because of the deer that are always out and about. Anyway, it seemed that a fully loaded tractor-trailer had crossed over the center line and collided head-on with my parent's car. From what they told me, they never knew what hit them."

I held Amanda as she cried about what she had just shared.

Wiping her eyes, she sniffled.

"I thought that I had cried so much all ready that there was nothing left."

"There will always be tears for those who have been taken from us. Their memories."

Kissing the top of her head, she rested her head on my shoulder. My embrace around her shoulder tightened.

"The funeral was a closed casket. I never got to say my final 'goodbyes'. All that sat before me were two boxes and their smiling portraits with what they told me were my parents. So, all that I've got now are the stars, where their souls rest. When I sit out here, or on my porch swing, I always wonder which stars are theirs.

"Anyway, as it was investigated it was determined that the driver had been on the road, way past the fourteen-hour limit for the previous three days, and never recorded it. The company only used paper logs and not electronic monitoring so it was easy to cheat. They pushed the drivers to meet schedules to receive bonuses and beat out the competition. The drivers only got compensated for overtime and never anything from the bonuses. They were exhausted and the driver that hit my parents had fallen asleep at the wheel.

"It took a while to uncover everything. But when the books were audited, the 'Accounts Receivables' didn't match the truck driver's logs as to the deliveries. The auditors noticed that there were many deposits from some companies that never appeared in the driver's logs. That started the probe.

"By the time the lawyers were done: the company was bankrupt, management was brought up on criminal and civil charges and I think that they're in jail someplace. The company's parent company was sued, and the drivers all lost their licenses and were prohibited from future employment as drivers. I think that was because they knew what was going on and wanted to keep their jobs and never reported it. Needless to say, I'll never have to be concerned about money."

We both sat there, each with heavy hearts. Each of us tragically lost someone who we loved. But I think that at that moment, we each found comfort in the sharing of our losses with the person who had become our best friend and the center of our lives.

Looking back up at the stars, Amanda whispers, "The stars will always be there. No matter how dark it gets, the stars are always there. They don't let the darkness win."

Holding her in a warm and comforting embrace. Kissing her forehead. I wanted to soothe all of her pain.

"Come, my love, let's slow dance with the moon and feel the stars kiss our eyes as we join with each other one more time."

We made slow and tender love that night under the stars for the first time. Sitting in our Lotus position, buried deep inside of her tight warmth, with her little breasts pressed against my chest, we stared up to the heavens cheek-to-cheek.

We each let out an, "Oh my", as three stars cruised side by side across the night sky.

..........................................

It was a warm and cloudless afternoon with a gentle breeze, as we somberly passed through the black wrought-iron gates of the cemetery at the edge of town. Slowly we crept along the narrow path among the rows of quiet headstones. A path that Amanda knew all too well. Stopping and taking Amanda's left hand into mine, as her right hand held two bouquets of roses, one red and one yellow, we solemnly walked along a long row of grave markers.

Stopping in front of a lone flat gray granite marker that straddled her parent's final resting places, Amanda knelt and gently brushed a lone leaf and a couple of specs of dirt away from the gray granite.

Sara Alexander Jenson Mathew John Jenson

January 28, 1976 May 14, 1974

September 22, 2023 September 22, 2023

Loving wife and mother Loving husband and father

As she knelt, she gently ran her fingers over the engraved design at the head of the stone. Above each name sat a heart with a hand from each reaching to their partner's hand with the fingers intertwined in the center. Quietly tracing her fingers over each name and then leaning over to plant a reverent kiss, my eyes welled up, and a lump formed in my throat.

Carefully arranging the bouquets across each set of engravings, Amanda paused for a moment of reflection before rising and burying her tear-streaked face into my shirt.

Turning and pressing her back against my chest with her head resting on my shoulder, she let out a long and soulful sigh. Wrapping my arms around her waist her hands came up and covered mine, as she became lost in her thoughts and emotions.

Wiping her eyes one more time, she spoke for the first time since we left her house.

"I miss them so much. Even after all this time, coming here doesn't get any easier. But I need to. I need to feel connected to them."

Silence except for the wind in the trees.

"Mom... Dad... I know that it's been a while, and I'm sorry. I want you to meet someone special. Someone who has made me happier than I have been in a long time. Someone who I love and who I know loves me... This is Steve... my boyfriend. And, yes, he's already passed the 'smell test' with Lady, so I know that you would like him too."

She was turned away from me, but I could 'hear' the smile as my lips kissed her smooth neck.

"He rescued me when my car broke down one afternoon. Part of me wants to believe that through you he was brought into my life to help me heal. And he has. Silvia has already seen it. Actually, we are helping each other heal," as she raised and kissed the back of my hand.

"We're going to live together, and, yes, we both know what the next step will be. It just may take some time. We're not in any hurry. So, thank you. Thank you for bringing him into my life. I couldn't have asked for a better man to rescue me."

After standing for, I don't know how long. Amanda once again knelt in front of the headstone and lightly kissed the heart at the top and then each of the names of her parents before standing and silently leading us back to her truck.

........................................

A few days later, we were out riding across the hilly grasslands and it was my turn to be quiet and somber. Amanda picked up on my mood shortly after we left the stable.

"Steve, are you OK? I mean you seem a bit off. Is something bothering you? Did I do something?"

"No, Amanda. Nothing like that.

"It's the coming month; October is when I lost Laura. I've always visited her grave. I want to go back this year. And I want you to come with me."

We were riding side-by-side and close enough that she reached out with her hand with a warm and caring smile.

"I'd love to.

"I've never seen that part of the country. I've heard that the weather is similar but that there are a lot of trees."

"Yeah, there are. And corn fields."

I almost said, 'and with grain trucks' but didn't.

"Well, we should probably make our plane reservations soon. Being this far out in the middle of nowhere, it's probably going to make a full day of driving and switching planes."

"What would you say if we took the RV? Make a slow and leisurely trip across South Dakota, Minnesota, and then down and through Wisconsin. Probably take three or four days. We could switch from driving on the interstate to some two-lane country roads for some local scenery. Spend the nights at some campgrounds. Being the middle of October it's still pretty nice during the day but could get a bit cool at night. But, that's what body heat is for."

That brought a broad smile.

"I've never done that. Leisurely drive and staying at campgrounds. Sounds like fun. Of course with that RV of yours, it's not like we'd be roughing it with a tent and all of that type of camping out. I think I can get Silvia and Earl to look after my horses. And with the RV, Lady can come with us. She likes riding in my truck and I know that she'll like riding in the RV."

Silvia and Earl were more than eager to take care of her horses while she was gone. They had pretty much adopted Amanda after the accident and treated her like the daughter they never had. They were each especially happy at the new direction that her life was headed and the bright future before her and told us to take our time and feel rushed to get back.