All Comments on 'Lauren Ch. 01: Just the Beginning'

Next please?

1⭐

to be more erotic and more exciting, it would have taken a cock at least 10 inches and wide as a can of coke.

only 9 inches 😂😂 nothing to brag about.

ah I love the guys who write in the stories:

"Hey I'm wearing a 9.365397 inch bazooka measured today on my morning erection."

tomorrow i'm easy at 9.673395 inches.

😂😂

it looks very teenage and cock size contest.

This was a nice erotic story but I'm not buying that he wants her to try out other men.

Whoops! Just checked your other stuff and it appears you like cuck sucking wimps and whores.

Too bad.

What Are You Looking At?

You expect us to have some sort of comment when we don't even know what this story is, what it is about, and why you wrote it. We don't even know what the plot is.

We'll get back to you. No rating until I can appreciate the entire story; or not. Good luck with the rest of it.

And thanks for the effort.

Seriously, a 9 inch cock? Now I know why your stories have low ratings. You're writing stroke stories for people who are far beyond that.

Wrong category. They're both single so this can't be Loving Wives. Erotic Couplings probably. I gather English isn't your mother tongue due to the misspellings and incorrect grammar issues. Please get with an Editor? Those facts aside damned good story. I'm not a fan of D or bigger tits but you made this enjoyable.

Dragonrider055

Encouraged her to date ..... bad move

Did you find your plot yet? I certainly didn’t see one in this story.

Interesting Start

But where are we going? Please let us know soon.

Five Stars

Wrong category, erotic couplings maybe or fantasy because less than .1% of the population has a 9” cock and yet she’s had bigger?

And if she’s engaged, why stay engaged if she ms already that unhappy? Why not break it off BEFORE you start fucking around?

@Anonymous Re: Category - Per the Mods, LW stories don't require wives, they can be fiancees, girlfriends, etc.

\

Don't write in present tense.

\

One-page chapter ones are a turn-off, especially if the wait for future chapters is more than one day, two at the most.

Your stories of the year 2020 ended in a disastrous showing and 2021 doesn't look any better. How old are you anyway? You write like an immature fourteen year old. Take some time and study the human anatomy, that is if you look at anything other than illustrated comics. I now understand why restaurants began putting pictures in their menu, for goof balls like you. Stop, please stop.

Embarrassingly naive, or just really clumsy at relationships. When the right person comes along, you have to be ready to discern and accept that, and act on it. They were clicking, at least as fuck buddies. Admittedly a very weak and shallow basis to start a life time partnership, but its the PERSON, not the time or the place or the circumstances. They were both single, healthy, compatible, and already were developing love and respect for each other. His hesitation, more like uncertainty, simply tells her that he is either too immature to know his own mind and discern hers, or he just doesn't want her or the commitment. Didn't she just end a relationship like that?

Anyway, it reads like most of this guys brains are in his cock. If she's stupid enough to be attracted to that for a lifetime partner then she deserve what she's going to get, fucked.

For some reason a very depressing story. But thanks for the effort.

Loving the plot so far.

-26thNC Approved

Moment the author writes ‘I pulled out my 9 inch dick’ rather then just say’ I pulled out my dick’ …. I know the writer has a below average one maybe 3-4 inch.. and this is effort to portray manliness !…I am sure he is about 5 feet tops and drives a big red or black power four wheel drive to show off his manliness…even if he has to sit on two pillows to be able to see out the windshield! What a maroon!

did I miss the tags or did you not use any?

Based on how you wrote the first part, it's clear you have likely already written most, if not all, the other chapters. That's a good thing as I can't stand when writers don't do that and the story arc starts to "wobble" after a couple segments. (Sometimes due to writers chasing ratings from anonymous they'll never make happy.) I agree with some of the editing comments, but it was near the distraction some complained about. I agree anytime the women have "Ds" and the guy an 8+ inch cock, I think here we go again. Same with your story, it puts you on an uphill climb for solid scores. An effective LW story contains some sex but is mostly about the relationship. This chapter was mostly sex, I hope you up your game on the relationship moving forward. I am not a big fan of "stroker" stories in the LW genre and they likely get critiqued harshly - be forewarned! You've pretty much laid out where you're headed in some subtle, and not subtle ways. Try to keep the story real and something we can all relate to in our lives. In real life, our hero should run the other way as fast as he can. 4* for chapter 1.

Loving wife?. Let's see two very single beautiful people, with perfect bodies enjoying great sex. She leave him satisfied to continue her sex filled night with her girlfriends. More power to them, but at this stage having nothing in common with loving wives.

She took off her sweater yet later she said he was quick to take off her shirt.

He has a 9 inch cock and yet she said she had bigger. Wow.

I think as an opening to maybe a series this was OK but as is it was lacking some punch. A girl in an engagement that shouldn't be and a single guy that doesn't;t care that he is not helping her sort out her engagement issues.

Here for the plot!!!!!!..... let us know when it gets here

i stopped reading at 9" cock. why not just make it an even dozen?

So, a woman happy to be arm candy for one man, fuck another, while dating more to see if she can finally find one she has some sort of loyalty toward? What's the attraction here? Why should we care? Oh, right, because the hero has a 9" cock, which he points out ASAP. Yay, so mesmerizing. Not.

So they'll be sort of a couple, she'll be a solid slut, the guy will be fine with it. She'll do gang bangs, because shes going to be a total sex addict, which will turn the MC on to no end. Im not sure if the MC will be a bigly cream pie connoisseur or not. But he will love having her come back well fucked in the future.

And thats how this whole thing shall be ended.

****That was a nice Ch. 01 lots of sex. I guess now we will get the rest of the story. Looking forward to the continuation of this saga of Lauren. Thanks for sharing.

“DD” boobs, 9” cock.....really!

I want to remeasurement. I'll bet it was at least a 12" cock.

I can't say anything good about this garbage. 1*

Not much here but a worn out stake story that doesn't even belong in LW

I’ve actually been in a room when much younger where an old friend who did have the rare massive long thick cock . He’d claim 11” and was never shy about flashing it. He had picked up a drunken hot horny slut who just had an argument in a bar with her boyfriend and wanted to as she put it get revenge. To my friends credit said there is people in the room 4 other guys and two girls just hanging out and drinking with no where else to go but she didn’t care and he fucked her hard deep and fast . She was screaming it’s so big oh my god . He pulled her on her knees pulled her head back by her hair and verbally abused her as she faced us all as she got fucked . He came and she as well but he got hard and started again then pushed it in her ass . The five minute ass fuck left her laying there for about 20 minutes then after it wore off a very embarrassed 20 something got dressed and to break the ice because I did feel bad so I handed her a drink . She stayed for a bit than said goodbye. No one ever saw her or knew her name , different times snd a dirty memory for her.

Lots of illicit Femdom agitprop Sex.