All Comments on 'Lazy Lisa & Humble Fran'

This is total rubbish and should never have been submitted

The idea's definitely a good one. Love the Femme Domme-butch sub dynamic here. But some proof reading could definitely have helped tidy things up a little, and made for a better read. The story quite literally stops mid-sentence. Nice try though. Gave it 3 stars for effort.

Why is it cut mid-scene?

Too much typos, man

Was it cut off for the beginning of chapter 2? A very good ide here but because of ending and mistakes 3 stars.