All Comments on 'Led by Fire Ch. 01'

Well that was as ugly as it was intended to be. Hard to find a reason to want to follow it forward.

I'm intrigued about the back story. Continue

I mean really, really bad.

A first chapter must set the stage but your second will determine if you have created a nightmare fantasy or a true training scenario. Your top is demanding, callous and cold. That said your bottom has the will to fight back and (possibly) the ability to achieve what she wants. Enough on the tone.

Craft wise you must be very careful. You've set a good scene but this story could rapidly drop if you don't know your end goal. What are you expecting for your characters to develop into? How can you time tie in the erotic to the conflict? Can you cater to the BDSM readers without losing to nonconsensual? Is it mmeant for the subs or the doms to enjoy? Things to consider as you continue.

Wow thank you SimplySilver! Your comments are taken to heart, this started as a series of text messages between myself and my Dom and was never intended to be published but he has encouraged me to do so. Your comments echo my own concerns, and gave me some things to think about as well. I appreciate them very much.

Soon

I like this story the only part that don't is the other women think he's going to far with that and if so when done with training ect she should leave him just my opinion but seems to much hurt for her and makes him a monster