Legacy: William's Story

"That's really too bad. You are very desirable William." He leaned closer trying to convince me to change my mind.

"Thank you, but I'm not looking for company. I'm sorry." I hadn't had to turn down many men over the years. Especially one that was so attractive.

"You're pining. I'd know it anywhere. If not for your dead wife, then who?"

How did he do that? It would be amusing if it wasn't so creepy. "What makes you think I'm pining, exactly?"

"Oh, everything!" He gestured at me, up and down, indicating my "everything".

I sighed loudly, feeling defeated. "I met someone but we had to go our separate ways."

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why? I was heading south. Their path was to the north."

"But you're not heading south, are you? You're sitting in Worcester. Why?"

"Please stop asking me that." I didn't want to be rude to a peer, but I was ready to punch him for harassing me about why, why, why.

"If I don't ask you why, how much longer do you think you'll sit in Worcester?"

I didn't have an answer for him. Why couldn't I answer? Why was I sitting here? What did I want? I wanted Henry. But Henry was gone.

"I don't know where in the north they went. I can't follow my heart because I don't know where it is."

"It's certainly not in Worcester. Nor is it in Bristol. Maybe you should wander north and look for your heart."

"No offense, my Lord, but the area north of Nottingham is vast."

"That is true. But your heart is there. Going south is the stupidest plan I've ever heard. I think you know it and that's why you're stuck in Worcester."

I looked at his face then. He was right. I was stuck. I didn't want to go further south because it took me further from Henry. But I didn't know where Henry was. I had no chance of finding him. But if I went back north the impossible chance was still larger than it was if I went south.

"Where are you from?" He changed tactics.

"Silverton, on the border in Northumberland."

His whole face lit up at that. "You're from the north, how interesting. When was the last time you were home?"

I rolled my eyes at his obvious ploy. "I just left there a number of weeks ago. I left to go south. To Bristol or Cornwall. And possibly on to the colonies."

"The colonies! Oh no, that will never do. The colonies are completely uncivilized, or so I've heard. Why would you go there?"

"I don't feel like I belong anywhere."

"And you think sailing around the globe to a hostile land full of heathens and rebels will help you?" He shook his head dramatically.

"I don't fit in anywhere. Maybe I will find my place there." It sounded unconvincing even as I said it.

"It sounds like you'd have a better chance of finding your heart in the north than finding your place at the world's end. Don't you think?"

"Maybe." I didn't know anymore. All I wanted was Henry. I wished I'd followed him north. He hadn't asked me to. He probably didn't even want me to. He probably had a real life in front of him that he wanted, not a twisted affair with a man that wanted to be dominated.

Even as confused as I was about everything, I would never regret my one incredible night with Henry. It was the brightest moment in all my lifetime of memories. I had to accept that it was just that, a memory.

"William." I heard the Earl call my name. I had been lost in my thoughts.

"Yes, I'm sorry?"

"What do you need to happen to get out of Worcester, at least? I'm concerned about you sitting in this tavern much longer."

"I've wasted my coin the last few weeks, stalling. I need to work for a time to travel again. Whichever way I end up going."

"That sounds like a better plan than sitting here. Can I assist you in finding work?"

"No, my Lord, I can easily find work on my own, but I thank you."

"Alright. I won't pester you any longer, but I will find you if you're sitting in this terrible tavern again tomorrow. And I will take you to task about it." He smiled as he jested with me.

As he turned to leave her knocked my gloves off the bar, onto the floor. Before I could react, he bent down and picked them up. He made a show of dusting them off, with a flourish.

I laughed at his antics. I was so grateful he had forced me to talk to him tonight. I worked through more with him than I had managed alone in several weeks.

"Don't lose these!" He said as he stuffed my gloves into my coat pocket. "Good night, sweet William." He winked and smiled and then he was gone.

I got up and decided to find a bed for the night. Tomorrow I would find work and start making coin to travel on.

I reached into my pocket and pulled out my gloves. I noticed they seemed heavy. I decided to put them back in my pocket for now. The tavern wasn't the right place to investigate further.

The inn next door to this tavern had a cot by the fire available for the night. I made sure to sleep on top of the gloves since it wasn't a private space. I knew that sneaky Earl had planted something. I imagined it was a coin.

In the morning I walked to the edge of town where some new buildings were being built. Before I asked around about work, I went behind some thick brush and looked in the gloves.

I was shocked to find two gold coins! Northampton had given me a fortune. I had never had my own gold coin, let alone two of them!

I could easily book passage to the colonies and get a fresh start with this money. It would take me far before I needed to work again. It would also see me north, as far as I wanted. I could help my family.

I should use this money to help my family. As soon as I had that thought, I couldn't think of anything else. I should head back home and make sure my grandmother and cousin were taken care of. I could decide what to do after that.

I knew I was repeating the same cycle, but at least this time I could give my family security, even if I never found my own way. I had started to believe that I was destined to be lost and unhappy. I was an abomination against God, and as such, I was doomed to suffer for it, for as long as I lived.

I would never feel settled. I would never have that companionship I craved. The best I could do was be a good man for my family. So instead of finding work, I headed north. It was time to go home again.

It was June when I arrived back home. Thomas and my grandmother were happy to see me, but they hadn't expected me back so soon, if ever.

When I showed them the money I had brought home to help them with, they rejoiced. Thomas's health hadn't been good all spring and he was unable to work as much as before. The Earl's money would save my family.

After much discussion, it was clear to us that Silverton was not the place for older people with no young farmers in the family anymore. We decided to move them to live near Thomas's wife's family in Newcastle. They had a business that would employ Thomas and he needn't toil in the fields to support his children.

I stayed with them in Newcastle for the summer. As summer turned to autumn, I explored Newcastle on Tyne and into Northumberland. I hunted and fished, much like I had done in my youth. I was twenty nine now and it wasn't enjoyable like I remembered it being.

I had decided to put my remaining money in the bank and look for work for the winter. I had traveled to Alnwick to trade at the fair before winter set in when I heard about a local harvest festival happening in several days' time. The man at the pub was telling everyone that all comers would be welcomed.

I knew these northern harvest festivals drew the hard working folks from all the area villages, so it would be a good place to look for work. It would also be a place to eat and drink far better food than any tavern or inn served. The two reasons combined convinced me to attend.

I walked with several families that were heading to the festival. It was being held at a landowner's house outside of town, so I followed them there.

My first impression was that the estate was beautiful. The house was sound and comfortable looking and the outbuildings looked recently repaired. There were many more people in attendance than I expected.

I saw an older couple strolling in the gardens that I believed were the hosts. The old man looked familiar to me, but I couldn't place him. Maybe I'd seen him in Alnwick over the last few days.

The feast was immense and as delicious as I had hoped. I found a group of tenant farmers sharing a barrel of ale and I listened in to see if anyone mentioned work. They all raved about this year's harvest and the new landowner and their changed fortunes.

I introduced myself to several of the men and asked about work, but no one had any leads at the moment. As it started to get dark, the families melted away. I started to follow a group back into town when I saw a young man near the fire.

He looked so much like Henry that it struck me dumb. I stared but he moved further away, on the other side of the bonfire. He disappeared behind the revelers as they danced around the fire in the growing darkness. I moved towards the fire in a trance.

I saw the older couple again and I realized it was the man I'd seen traveling with Henry. The man I had thought was his father. That meant the man by the fire had to have been Henry! Was that actually possible? Were my eyes playing tricks on me?

I walked around the fire in a complete circle, but Henry was gone. He'd faded back into my memory. I hadn't really seen him. I must have been dreaming it up. I stood in one place and looked around, turning and searching in every direction.

In the darkness, closer to the house I saw a lone figure, standing beyond the firelight, watching the revelers from afar. If I hadn't been searching for him, I'd never have seen him there in the shadows.

Giving him a wide berth, I moved around him to approach from the darkness behind him. I didn't want to walk directly towards him. I wanted to get closer before he saw me. I had to see if it was really him.

I moved silently until I was behind a bush to his side. He watched the dancers and he swayed slightly, following the music. When he turned his head slightly, his angelic face caught the light and I knew it really was him.

"Would you like to dance?" I asked him from my place behind the bush. He whipped around and searched the darkness. He was looking in the wrong direction at first. Then he turned and took one step forward before he saw me.

He acted like he couldn't believe his eyes and I saw him sway like he was drunk. I stepped closer and braced him against my chest. I pulled him in tighter and crushed him to me.

I felt his fingers grip my jacket. He tried to steady himself, but I would never let him fall.

"William?" He said it into my shoulder and then his body went completely limp. He had fainted in my arms.

I easily scoop him into my arms and I held him close as I walked towards the house. I hoped to find his cousin still around the festival. As I neared the front door, it swung open and his cousin stood inside. Was this Henry's home? His festival?

"Oh my, did Henry drink that much punch?" The older man said quite jovially.

"I think he fainted. I don't think he's drunk."

"Why would he faint?" He looked at me curiously. I didn't know how to answer. Did this man know about Henry's encounter with a man?

"I think I surprised him. Maybe he was frightened."

"Why would he be frightened of you? You seem like a nice young man." He was now leading me into the house, so I followed him.

"We met once and I don't think he expected to ever see me again." I don't know why I was so honest. I should have kept it much more vague.

"What's your name, son?" He asked me. It seemed innocent enough but I still felt a little suspicious.

"William. And your name is?" I asked that to hopefully steer the conversation back to him.

"I'm James. Where did you say you met my young cousin?"

"I didn't say. We met in Nottinghamshire months ago."

"Nottingham?" He pondered it as he led me into a bedroom that must be Henry's. "Please lay him here. Do you think he'll be alright? Did he hit his head or anything?"

I gently placed Henry on the bed. I ran my hand through his soft hair as I stared down at his beautiful face. The face that lived in my dreams nearly every night. James watched me carefully.

I looked up at him. "He didn't hit his head. I caught him before he fell. I'm sure he'll wake up soon. I'd like to stay with him until he wakes, if that's alright with you?"

"William from Nottingham. You're the one he met at the inn. How did you find him after all this time?"

He knew about me. About us. He wasn't a big man, and he was older, but I still feared him a bit. "I had no idea this was his home. I came looking for work. I'm from Silverton and my family is in Newcastle."

"Newcastle is lovely. I'm glad you could make it to the feast. Silverton to Sandhurst is quite a distance to travel for a festival."

I heard the questions he didn't ask. "I was in Alnwick several days ago, trading at the market, when I heard about the festival." I left it at that. I could talk for hours about how I ended up here, but I wanted to focus on Henry.

"Henry used to get faint when he was young, don't worry too much. He'll be fine in a while, I'm sure of it. He'll be glad to see you when he wakes up, so please stay. Do you need anything, William?"

He was so kind to me. "No, thank you. I'm going to wait here for him to wake." I sat in a comfortable chair in the corner. He nodded and left the room. I watched Henry, silently in the darkened room all night. I didn't even feel tired in his presence.

Hours later he shifted on the bed and started to wake. I waited, silently, to see what he would do next. He rubbed his eyes and moved to the edge of the bed. I instinctively moved to the edge of the chair.

He turned at my movement so I stood and stepped into the sun that was starting to filter into the room. "Are you well Henry? You fainted last night."

He looked like he was trying to speak, but couldn't. I moved closer to him. He watched me until I was right in front of him. He reached out his hand and touched mine. I took his hand and squeezed it gently. I could feel that his hands were now calloused from hard work and it ignited a fire in my belly. "This life looks good on you." I said to him as I rubbed my fingers over his palm.

"What do you mean?"

"This." I rolled his hand over in mine and traced his callouses. "Your hands were soft before, but now they look like this. The hard work has changed you. You look even better now." And he did look good. I smiled as I imagined him naked. What else had changed?

"Where did you come from?" He asked as we held hands. I sat next to him on the bed.

"I live to the east, in Silverton. I arrived back in the north a month ago. I heard about the festival and I came looking for work." I looked down, suddenly nervous. "But I found you instead." I looked up at him to see how he would react.

"I'm glad you found me." He said it and sounded relieved. I felt relieved.

"Me too." That was more than true. I asked the question I'd had on my mind for months. "I didn't know if you'd be happy to see me. Do you have a wife, Henry?"

"A wife! No!" He replied and then I saw him smile and he chuckled at my question.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that." What else should I say? "I don't have a wife either."

"Well I would hope not!" He said it automatically and then looked sheepish. I felt embarrassed, but I was still happy that that was cleared up. At least a little bit. I still had so many questions.

Before I could think what else to say or ask he leaned towards me. I leaned in and kissed him lightly. My heart fluttered in my chest at the contact. When he didn't pull back, I reached out and crushed him against me, taking as much as he could give me. He kissed me back just as hard.

"Breakfast, Henry!" We heard his cousin call from the kitchen. We jumped apart, startled by the interruption in the quiet morning.

"Let's go eat." Henry said to me. He took my hand and led me to the kitchen. I saw his cousin and the woman he had been strolling with yesterday, bustling about and setting four places at the table. I nervously dropped Henry's hand before we stepped into the room.

The woman introduced herself. She was Henry's childhood nurse who had fallen in love with James. She didn't use those words, but it was obvious they were beyond smitten with each other.

James shook my hand and welcomed me. It felt like more than a welcome to the table. It felt like a welcome home. My heart swelled, but I tried to remain calm. Henry beamed at all three of us.

The food was delicious and plentiful. James and Ann chatted easily and made me feel comfortable. It was the most comfortable I could remember feeling. I felt like I fit. I had never felt like I fit anywhere before.

After the meal, the older couple left us alone in the kitchen. Henry seemed nervous, which actually made me feel less so. I knew I wasn't the only one feeling somewhat overwhelmed.

"I usually do chores now." Henry stated. He looked like he had much more on his mind besides his chores.

I didn't want to walk away. I grasped at the only thing I could think of. "Do you want help with your chores?" I felt so nervous after I said it. I'd never worked side by side with a lover. But I wanted to do everything at Henry's side.

"I would enjoy your company and your help, very much." He replied, sounding as shakey as I felt.

"Where did they go?" I abruptly changed the subject back to James and Ann. I felt nearly sick with my nerves.

"I think they went out to the garden. They wanted to give us space I guess." He looked as nervous as I felt. I couldn't stand the tension any longer so I stood up. I took his empty tea cup and placed it with mine near the basin.

As I moved across the kitchen, he watched me. His eyes told me so much. I needed to touch him again and make sure he wanted me the way I wanted him.

I crossed back to him and pulled him up from his seat. I placed my hands on either side of his exquisite face. I stared at his incredible green and gold eyes. In their depths I saw my whole world. He looked at me like he wanted me.

I leaned in and kissed his soft lips. It quickly grew heated and I pushed my tongue into his delicious mouth. He clung to me and kissed me back with as much passion as I was giving him.

I nearly burst into tears, so I pulled my lips away and pulled him tightly to my chest. I held him like one of us might float away if I let go. We both calmed as we held each other.

"Chores?" I asked, hoping to be helpful to him and wanting to spend every moment possible in his presence.

His body was relaxed as he pulled away from my arms. His hand brushed mine and he looked calm and sure. "First up, horses." He turned and I followed him. I would follow him anywhere.

His chores were quite easy for me and he seemed to enjoy watching me chopping firewood. I made quick work of splitting the logs, with sure, steady swings. I made sure to put on the best show for him that I could.

We walked back to the house together for lunch with James and Ann. It felt perfect being here with him. My thoughts turned to all the ways I wanted him to use me. I would be so content to do his chores and obey his sexual commands, every single day.

"Last night you said you were looking for work, what kind of work do you do William?" James asked me. I watched Henry as he followed our conversation closely.

"I can do any kind of work. Physical labor, building, farming, I've done a bit of it all". I still couldn't help but think of the work I'd like to do with Henry, in private.

James looked directly at Henry then. "Do you have a position for William?" He asked him.

I'm sure my eyes grew wide at that wording. I braved a glance at Henry and he looked pale and as uncomfortable as I was with the images that question brought to mind. I easily imagined the positions Henry would like to have me in.