Lending a Helping Hand

I shrugged my shoulders and smiled as big as I could, partly because of pride, and partly because of what I was about to say. "Beginner's luck?"

Judy burst out laughing, rolled on top of me and started showering my face with tiny kisses.

We made love many times over the next year or two. She even convinced me to sleep with the other women in our little workout group. Apparently my youthful energy and enthusiasm is quite desired among middle aged lesbians. I didn't mind either. It was a fun, liberating, and an educational time in my life.

Then one day my father sat me down and asked what I was planning to do with my life. He was the one who suggested that the Army might be a good fit for me, and at the time, I agreed.

Candy kept popping into my mind while I was reliving my past. On the surface she seemed straight. But, I was fairly certain that underneath that facade lurked a bisexual woman looking to break free. At least that's what my 'spidey sense' told me.

I genuinely liked Candy. But who am I kidding, my feelings for Candy go deeper than 'like.' Yet, I wasn't about to break up a marriage, no matter how 'on-the-rocks' it was. But, on the other hand, if she was officially separated, then...who knows.

Before I knew it, I had nursed five beers in as many hours. It was warm and dark, both inside and out. The silvery full moon lit up my mom's chicken-shaped clock above the stove. It was almost 10pm.

My cell rang with a number I didn't recognize. It was too late for it to be a telemarketer, I thought.

"Hello?" I greeted, only to be met with the sound of uncontrollable crying on the other end. My heart rate doubled instantly and the hairs on the back of my neck stood straight up.

I'm not sure if it was my head or my heart that told me, but it took me less than a second to realize it was Candy. I stood up so fast my chair slid backward.

In a voice that could have easily been confused as a scream, I said, "CANDY, ARE YOU ALRIGHT? TELL ME, WHAT'S GOING ON...! CANDY WHERE ARE YOU?" Every awful scenario was running through my mind.

Through the sobbing, all I could make out was, "Can I come over?"

"YES, YOU CAN COME OVER... I'll text you my address," I answered, my nervous energy compelling me to turn on every light, both inside and outside the house.

I unconsciously turned my house into an oceanfront lighthouse. A beacon of safety for Candy to easily find. My heart swelled and my eyes got watery. God damn it. I did have feelings for this married girl, strong feelings.

I shouted, looking up at the sky, "Why me?"

I paced back and forth on the front porch. Adrenaline pumped swiftly through my veins, counteracting some of the effects of the alcohol I just consumed. I felt myself sobering up.

Then an old brown minivan pulled into my long driveway. I rushed to the driver's side door just as both back doors slid open. A young teenage boy emerged from one side and a young teenage girl from the other.

As Candy got out, my military instincts kicked in. I looked over her face, then her bare arms, then I held her at arms length, looking all over for bruises or wounds. "Are you all right, are you hurt anywhere?"

Candy's shoulders were shaking, she was still sobbing uncontrollably. She probably shouldn't have been driving.

"My mom and dad got into another fight," the teenage boy said in a crackling voice.

I gripped Candy's shoulders tighter than I probably should have, as more of my military instincts jumped quickly to the surface. "DID HE HIT YOU!! DID HE FUCKIN HIT YOU!!!" I found myself shouting, but I was livid. I was enraged. I was going out of my mind thinking that her husband hit this gorgeous, petite woman. I'm sure the veins on my forehead bulged out as they usually did when I got mad.

"I don't think so, at least not this time,'' the frightened teenage girl said between sniffles. I think I accidentally frightened her with my shouting. But she continued anyway, "They just screamed at each other and called each other every bad name in the book."

Then the boy quickly interjected," And my mom finally demanded a divorce."

Both teenagers handled being around a strong-willed, angry lesbian better than I expected. In just that limited exchange, I could tell they were both remarkably mature for their age.

"Let's all get inside," I suggested, in a much calmer voice. I put my arm around Candy and led the way.

We all sat down in the brightly lit living room with the old floral wallpaper. I helped Candy sit right next to me on the red velvet couch while the kids each found a matching cushioned chair. I never wanted my arm to leave Candy's body that night. Making her feel safe and protected was all of a sudden extremely important to me. After a few minutes, she calmed down enough to talk.

"He really lost it this time," she managed between sniffles. "He's like a crazed lunatic. He was smashing things all around the house... He's probably out looking for us now. Even though he's completely drunk."

More sniffles from Candy. I looked at the boy, snapped my fingers and pointed to a box of tissues near him. He brought them over in a flash.

I gently pulled the keys from Candy's hand and threw them, underhanded, to the boy. "Here, move the van to the back of the yard."

"I'm only fourteen."

"Yeah, right, like you never took a car out for a joy ride... I was young once too ya know. Just do it..." I wished I knew his name.

"Andy," Candy squeaked out. Could she read my mind?

"Just do it, please, Andy," I reiterated, this time in a much softer tone. He said nothing, but quickly turned around and walked towards the door.

"And you..." I addressed the girl.

"Sandy," Candy squeaked out again.

"Alright... Sandy, could you please go around and shut off every light in the house except this one?" I asked. She nodded and walked out of the room to complete the task.

This was far from the right time, but I just couldn't help myself. My usual need to lighten the mood, I looked at Candy's pretty, but red from crying eyes, and asked, "Really?... Candy, Sandy and Andy?"

Again, not the best time, but I couldn't help but smile and let out a chuckle. I did have five beers after all.

While still looking at Candy, she returned a bit of a smile through her tear dried face. "Hey, don't look at me, it was Randy's idea." Her one eye twinkled and her smile got a tiny bit bigger.

I came to realize, at that moment, Candy is an incredibly resilient woman. I mean, after going through all that she went through tonight, she still put up with me teasing her. What a remarkable woman.

"Wait? What? Your husband's name is Randy?... So it's Randy, Candy, Sandy and Andy?"

She responded with a broad smile and a nod. She rested her head on my shoulder and let out a long heavy sigh. She seemed to forget about her troubles quickly. I wondered if I had that effect on her.

"Thank you, Dani," she whispered, then sighed again. "Tonight was the last night I'll ever cry about him. I won't waste another minute hoping things will get better ...We're done, we're through, it's over. I never want to see him again. If I was thinking straight, I would have realized long ago that our marriage was over."

I know I took some liberties that weren't mine to take, but like I said, I had five beers prior to this whole ordeal. I put both my arms around Candy and leaned us back. We sunk deep into the overstuffed couch as one person. Her head came to rest somewhere between my shoulder and my breast. Her arm wrapped around me too.

My heart swelled as my already strong feelings for Candy became even stronger. I hugged her a little tighter. My arms just seemed to fit around her perfectly. It felt so natural, so normal...

Years later, I admitted to Candy that that moment was when I finally let myself believe that I was falling in love with her.

Being a little tipsy as I was, I wasn't reading the room as well as I should have. It was really too soon to talk about some of what I was feeling. But, right or wrong, I did it anyway. "Ya know Candy, I think about you sometimes... probably more than I should."

She responded more upbeat and more lucidly than I expected. "That's funny, Dani. I haven't been able to think about anything but you since the first day we met. That's actually what this fight was about tonight. I didn't tell Randy, hell, I didn't tell anyone. But, I have... well, more than a crush on you."

Then she slid her fingers across my shoulder. "I just told him that I was done with his shit and I demanded that he give me a divorce," she said in a soft but somber voice.

"Wait, what? You like me too?"

I didn't mean to say 'too', but it slipped out.

"Well of course ya big dummy! Couldn't ya tell?" Her tear dried face smiled broadly again, giving a satiny sheen to her cheeks.

"I thought I noticed some signs, but I ignored them because you're married with kids. I never thought you might be bi or gay."

"I figured you might have thought that. That's why I did what I did earlier today when I rubbed myself on you. I figured that I'd have to do something outrageous to get you to see that we could be together. I know how crazy it all might have been for you, but I needed you to make the first move. If I was wrong about how you felt..." Her voice trailed off as she paused, carefully thinking about what she wanted to say next. "Well, I didn't want either of us to be embarrassed..."

I knew she had more to say, but she stiffened up as if she felt something odd. I felt it too.

That's when I noticed through the large living room window, a pair of headlights coming up my driveway. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up again, and a cold chill ran down my spine. My instincts told me that it had to be Randy. How did he find us I thought? I quickly untangled myself from Candy.

"Stay here," I said in a tone she must have taken as frightened.

"What's wrong?"

"Call 9-1-1. I think your husband's here."

"Wait, where are you going? He'll hurt you!"

"I doubt that. I've come across his type before. I can take care of myself."

I walked out the front door with my military training, and ready-to-fight swagger. Candy was still telling me to stop.

"Just stay in the house, grab your kids and call 9-1-1," I yelled over my shoulder.

I reached the bottom step as Randy stepped out of the yellow Hemi sports car.

We were about twenty feet away from each other when I told the six foot six, 350lb monster exactly what was on my mind. "You're on private property and you are NOT wanted here. You need to leave NOW!"

He stopped for only one second, then slowly continued to walk towards me. I steeled my nerves and matched his slow walk toward him.

"I came to get my wife and kids!" He shouted with a heavy slur in his speech, but at the same time revealing a baseball bat he was hiding behind his back.

Yes, I had some beers. And I'm probably not in the best shape to fight, but I could see by the way he staggered towards me, that he had much more to drink than I did.

"You can come back tomorrow when you sober up, Randy. But for now, get off my property before I make it so you can't walk!"

"HA!... I'd like to see you try, you fuckin' dyke!"

I've been called that my entire life. In my younger days that would have infuriated me. The mature me knew I had to stay calm, so I didn't let that comment raise my pulse even one beat.

We were only about six feet away when he quickly swung the bat at my head and I just as quickly stepped back out of its way, I heard a squeal coming from the porch.

Why didn't Candy stay in the house as I asked?

"This is your last warning, Randy! GO HOME!" I shouted.

This time he swung the bat from the other direction. I ducked down, spun around, and kicked his feet out from underneath him. Another squeal came from the porch.

His feet flew into the air and he landed flat on his back. That temporarily knocked the wind out of him. While he was struggling to breathe, I quickly grabbed the bat from his loose grip. I started poking his belly with the bat. "Now get out of here, Randy, before you really get hurt."

The big man got up quicker than I expected. He reached into his cowboy boot and pulled out a knife. Three loud screams echoed from the porch.

Damn it, now the kids are there too.

He lunged at me, swinging his right hand as he did. I blocked his arm with the knife in it with the bat, moved out of his way, spun around and pushed him hard in the direction he was already moving. I had the military to thank for teaching me the old technique of using your opponent's body weight against him. He fell to the ground, tripping over his own feet about ten feet away.

He stood up again, this time with fury in his eyes. He grunted and started running towards me with his hand cocked back. I gave him plenty of warning, but that didn't seem to matter. As soon as he was in range, I launched that Louisville Slugger right into his left knee with all my strength. I know from experience, the sound of bones being shattered is something you never get used to.

He dropped to the ground like he was made of lead, screaming in pain and holding his knee. I'm not sure where the knife fell, but I was undeterred. I started poking him again, constantly and anywhere I could. I didn't care that I just shattered his knee. He certainly wouldn't have cared if positions were reversed.

"Get back in your piece of shit sports car and get the hell out here, Randy!"

I kept on hitting him hard as he slid his ass back on my dirt driveway to his car. He kept mumbling something about coming back to get me as he somehow pulled himself up into the driver's seat. I figured that he was so drunk he wasn't feeling half the pain he would be tomorrow.

To make sure that he didn't get any ideas of trying to ram me with his car, I started beating his car with my new favorite piece of wood. At the same time, I yelled to him to get out of here. He put it in reverse and stepped on it, kicking up dust and dirt everywhere. I got one last swing in and caught the driver side headlight.

Just as he reached the street, the cops arrived. One from each direction; they blocked him in. Inside I let out a hearty laugh, outside I was stoic. I turned and walked back to the porch, happy with the outcome. I was proud of myself. I protected the woman that I was falling in love with.

Walking back to the porch, I used a different kind of swagger while using the bat as a pretend cane. The dirt Randy kicked up created a cloud of dust that followed me. But I could still see six eyes, glowing in the bright moonlight, wide and still in shock. My adrenaline was slowly returning to normal. I thought for a minute, this bat may make a nice trophy. I just might mount it on the living room wall.

I also saw three small, but bright lights. I grinned as I noticed they were recording me on their phones.

"Okay, shows over. You can stop recording now," I said with a chuckle and cocky smile. All three lights went out as I reached the top step.

At that second, Candy slammed into me with the tightest hug I've ever experienced. Her head landed sideways just under my chin. Unexpectedly, her kids hugged both of us from our sides.

I became overwhelmed by a warm loving feeling that I've never felt before in my entire life. Wave after wave of this feeling continuously washed over me, as all six arms held onto me tightly. Their three souls seemed to join with mine and I felt whole for the first time in my life. I felt an intense pulse of energy, much greater than the sum of our parts. Every fiber of my being was feeling their love. Not a romantic love, but one of deep gratitude, sincere appreciation and tremendous relief. Tears started flowing from the three sources of loving energy. It gave me a powerful strength I never knew existed. At that moment, I could swear I had the power to fly.

All of this had an intense and profound effect on me. I spent years keeping my emotions in check. I spent years trying not to fall in love. I spent years telling myself that relationships were a trap.

But try as I might, I was not immune to the sudden and overwhelming emotions that hit me at that moment. I kept my head high, but quietly joined in on the tears. I realized that I had created a tight bond with this family, two of which I only met a few hours ago. But now, EVERYTHING inside of me wanted to-no, needed to-hold them, protect them and love them.

The group hug broke enough so the four of us could walk back into the house. We all squeezed into the couch and waited for the police to talk to us.

After the cops watched the camera phone video from three different phones, they took statements from us. They told us that Randy's car would be impounded, and he would be under 24 hour guard until he got out of the hospital.

Because of the seriousness of the charges against him, they mentioned he'd likely be held without bail in the county jail until his trial. With the video evidence, we could sleep safely knowing that he wouldn't be out for a very long time.

While the cops finished talking to Candy, I got up and looked out the big window watching Randy's car being loaded on the flatbed. Then, there was only silence. That's when I heard my stomach grumble. It was almost midnight and I hadn't eaten anything since that morning.

Before I knew it, arms of all different sizes were hugging me again. From behind and both sides. The embrace filled me with so many emotions. Strongest among them was joy. Joy that I had found what my life was missing.

"If you guys are hungry, I'm afraid all I've got to eat is some lunch meat. We could make some sandwiches?"

"Thanks Dani, I think we'll take you up on that." Candy spoke in a motherly tone. Then putting an arm on each child. "I don't think I could eat, but the kids should eat something. I think lunch was the last time they ate."

We made our way into my mom's old-fashioned kitchen. I was about to tell Candy where everything was, but I was shushed before I could get a word out. I saw her grab the lunch meat, some butter and some eggs from the fridge. Then she went to the pantry and plucked out a few more things.

And like she already knew where it was, she pulled the black heavy skillet from the bottom drawer of the stove. Not even a second later, I could hear the soft sound of the gas flames warming it up.

In a confused voice, I said, "What are you doing, Candy?"

"Don't worry about me. You and the kids set the table." Is it wrong that she sounded a little like my mother in her early days?

The kids found the plates, napkins and silverware in just a few seconds. Then they found some bottles of water behind the case of beer in the fridge.

I was in awe looking at the seemingly choreographed movements of all three of them. This was a well oiled machine. Yeah, they had to look through the cabinets, but they eventually found what they wanted.

While all this was happening. The sights, sounds and smells of someone cooking in this kitchen for the first time in a while overwhelmed my senses. I felt myself becoming emotional again. I mindlessly sat down, soaking in everything.

Was this really happening?

For the first time since my parents died, I saw this house as much more than a house... it was a home. My home. I stoically held back tears.

Within minutes, Candy brought the skillet to the table, handle wrapped in a small towel, just like my mother did. She dished out a hot sandwich of some sort for each of us. How the hell did she do that? What was it she made?

"Here ya go! A French toast grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Watch it, it's hot." Again with that motherly tone.

I'd never heard of such a thing, it was delicious though. Candy just nibbled on a piece of bread while the kids and I enjoyed the warm meal. I felt bad for Candy, but she said she was too upset to eat. When we were all finished eating, Candy looked at her kids and spoke.