Letters From The World

If Mother was telling the truth, Gail is going to be in bad shape by the time Luke comes home. Now that I know what she does, I seem to hear her every morning when I come home from work. She has to hear me come in the door sometimes, but she doesn't stop or even try to be quiet about it. Maybe I'll ask her what she thinks about your idea. I'm sure she can give me some pointers. Ha, Ha.

She makes me wish you were home. It sounds like she's really enjoying herself with that massager, and I want to feel the same way, but from you. If I think really hard on a really dark night, I can still feel you lying beside me. Sometimes, I take the extra pillow and hug it and pretend it's you, but it's not the same thing. It's just soft feathers that don't do anything. You're all hard muscles that make me feel safe and warm. I miss everything about you, Darling. I miss your scratchy face when you kiss me in the morning, and I miss the way your shirts smelled when I used to wash them. I miss having the little hickeys you used to make on my breasts. I'll never be mad at you for making them again.

God, I'm in bad shape, I guess. I started out being afraid of having sex with you. Just before you left, I was really starting to like it. Now that I can't have it, I need it so bad. I need to feel your body mashing me down on the bed. I need to feel the hair on your chest scratching my nipples. I need to feel your hard shaft moving inside me. You're probably thinking I've gone nuts, and you're right. I'm nuts about my guy and how he makes me feel.

I love you to pieces, and I wish you were here so bad. I guess I'm what Gail calls "horny as a toad".

Shelley

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Apr 3, 1968

Darling Tim,

Well, I'm supposed to go shopping with your mom. We're going to find a present for your dad's birthday. He's so hard to buy for. He already has everything under the sun in the way of tools and toys. We'll probably get him some of those cigars in metal tubes again, like at Christmas. Your mom's having a party for him tonight.

I really don't feel like going, but I will. He was really helpful when our bathtub stopped up. He came over that night and got it working again. Since then, he's been checking up on us about once a week or so, just to see if we're all right. I think it's because Gail never wears much in the way of clothes when she's at home, and he's hoping for a peek. Now I know where you get it, Sweetheart.

Sometimes, I honestly think she's trying to turn him on. This morning, he came over to work on our car, and Gail decided to wash hers. She came out in this little bikini that barely covered her big boobs. The bottom was pretty skimpy too. Of course, she got all wet in the process and the bikini stuck to her like a second skin. I was out there helping him, and it was so funny. He kept looking up from the engine so he could see her. He hit his head on the hood when she bent over to get her sponge out of the bucket. Would you believe it, her big right boob fell out of her top and you could see her nipple and everything just hanging there in the open. Gail just looked at your dad, smiled real big, and stuffed her boob back into the top. I tried not to laugh, but I'm afraid I chuckled a little, because he gave me this really strange look, and went back to work on the car.

After he left, I asked Gail if she wasn't just mortified that he'd seen her. She just laughed and said it was OK because he'd liked it and that your Mom was probably going to get the f---ing of her life that night. Gail says the f-word all the time. I guess they must do that in Louisville. They must like showing their boobs to older men, too.

Well, your mom will be here soon, so I'll finish up so I can mail this. I love you so much it hurts, and I can hardly wait until you get off that plane in Nashville next January. If you're lucky, I'll let you get me out of the airport before I jump on you. If not, well, the people in the airport are going to get a real sight. Hee Hee.

I love you with all my heart,

Shelley

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Apr 4, 1968

Hi, my big sexy hunk of man,

Well, I went to the party last night. We did get your dad some cigars, and he seemed to like them a lot. He smoked one right away and I kinda liked the smell. They a lot better than those cheap ones he buys by the box. I'm sure my clothes smell like that, so I'll have to throw them in the wash this weekend. Women will never smoke cigars. Nobody would want a woman who smells like cigars.

I forgot to take one of your mom's bowls back to her when I went to the party, so I went back over this morning before church. I think Gail was right. I've never seen your mom so happy that early in the morning. She kept hugging your dad and fussing around him like an old hen with a new chick. I've felt like that before, and I know what causes it. As Gail would say, your mom got f---ed silly.

They were still at it, if you can believe that. Your dad thought I wasn't looking, but I saw him slip his hand up under your mom's robe. She slapped his hand pretty quick, but she was giggling at the same time. Your dad kind of snuck his finger up under his nose like he was scratching, but I saw him inhale and smile. When you used to do that, I thought it was gross, but now..., well, Darling, I'm touching myself as I write this, and my scent is exciting me. It reminds me of those days before you left. I just wish you were home to stick your fingers up there, like your dad did to your mom. Mine feel pretty good, but it's just not the same.

You haven't told me much about what you're doing over there, and your mom says you won't. I guess your dad didn't tell her anything about the Pacific until several years after he got home. She said he'd go down to the Legion Hall on Saturday afternoon for a couple of beers, and he'd talk to the guys there, but never to her. After a long time, he finally told her it was so horrible he just wanted to forget it. She said he never has, and still wakes up sweating in the middle of the night sometimes. When she asks what's wrong, he just says he was back on Okinawa in his dreams.

Your Mom said she didn't understand until she talked to her friend Grace. Grace's husband had to go to a psychiatrist at the VA hospital in Nashville for a while after he came back. The doctor told Grace her husband was trying to come to grips with what he'd seen and done, but couldn't do it without talking about it. He couldn't talk to anyone who hadn't seen the same things because they wouldn't understand. Darling, I'll try really hard to understand if you don't want to talk. We see some of the things that happen on TV, but I know it's much worse. Just know I'll be here for you.

Well, that's about all I have to say. Like always, things in Hopkinsville are moving pretty slow, so there's not much to write about.

I love you more than anything, and I long for you to hold me in your arms. I miss you so much and I need to feel your body beside mine again.

All my love and thousands of kisses (and other things)

Shelley

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxo

Apr 12, 1968

Hi Honey,

I sent off our income taxes today. The big refund is going to be nice. I was thinking of ways to spend it, but then I figured I'd just put it in the bank for when you get home. The TV we're using belongs to Gail, so we'll have to get one of those, and I thought we might go somewhere for a few days. I want to get to know you all over again, and I have a few things I need to have taken care of if you know what I mean.

I'm worried about Gail. Last Saturday night, we went out together to a club where they teach line dancing. We learned two dances and I had a really good time. There were a bunch of women there from the base who have husbands in Vietnam, so we had a lot to talk about when we weren't dancing. There were lots of young guys there, and a few older men, and they kept asking us to dance. You know I don't know any dances except slow dancing, and those are just for you, so it was easy for me to say no. Gail didn't. She kept dancing with this one man who was about forty, and when they played a slow dance, one of the women at our table pointed at them, and said they ought to get a motel room. Gail was all over him. She did this thing where she straddled his thigh and rubbed herself on his leg through the whole dance. All the while, she had her breasts mashed into his chest, and the man had his hands on her hips. It wasn't until we left that I noticed she wasn't wearing her wedding ring. I asked her why, and she looked surprised. She said she had cleaned it and must have forgotten to put it back on before we left. I don't believe her, because she went somewhere on Sunday afternoon, and took a shower as soon as she came back. She seemed really relaxed too. I don't know if I can do anything about it, but I'm going to talk to her tonight. She ought to stay faithful to Luke.

I'm glad you wrote some about what you're doing. Some of it really scared me, and some of it made me really mad. Walking point seems like you're being the bait for the rest of your squad. I'm really glad you don't have to do it all the time. Just be really careful, OK?

Gail just came out of her bedroom and she's naked again. I'm going to stop writing and have my talk with her. I'll let you know how it comes out.

I miss you so much, and I love you even more,

Shelley

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

May 15, 1968

Dearest Tim, Love of my life,

I'm sitting here thrilled and embarrassed at the same time, and I'm really scared to tell you why. I won't hide it from you, but I'm afraid you'll hate me after you read about it. That's why you haven't gotten a letter for three days. I've been trying to decide how to say this.

Remember in my last letter, I said I was going to talk to Gail? Well, I did. What happened is why I'm scared. I'm writing everything out just the way it happened so you'll understand, I hope.

Gail sat down on the couch and started to watch TV. I put your letter in an envelope and put on the stamp, and then went and sat down beside her. After a while, I asked her what was the matter. She didn't know what I was talking about so I had to get more specific. I asked her why she'd been dancing so close to that guy in the bar.

Gail kind of hung her head, and said she knew it was wrong, but that she needed to have a man touch her so bad, and she couldn't stop herself. She told me she and Luke had sex at least once a day, and since he'd been gone, she was going crazy. From what she told me, she'd planned the whole thing, from inviting me to go with her, to leaving her ring at home. She thought the ring would scare away all the men, and that I could "save" her if she got into trouble.

I asked her about where she'd gone on Sunday, and she got a little mad. She said it was none of my business. Well, she's my best friend and I care about what happens to her, and that's what I said. I told her I thought she'd gone to that guy's house and had sex with him.

She looked at me a little funny, and then started to laugh. Then she said she couldn't ever do that to Luke because she loved him too much.

I said it was just odd that she went somewhere on Sunday afternoon for a couple of hours and then took a shower as soon as she got home, because she always takes her showers at night.

Gail laughed again and said she'd tell me what really happened but she was going to fix herself a drink first. She asked if I'd like one too.

I never drink much, as you know, but Gail and I have some vodka and sometimes on the weekend, we'll mix it with some with orange juice before we go to bed. It's harder to sleep without you on the weekends because I'm not as tired as after I've been working, so a drink helps me fall asleep. Anyway, I said I would, because I wanted to keep talking with her about last Saturday.

Gail mixed the drinks pretty strong, like she always does, but mine tasted pretty good, and after a couple of swallows, I started to relax. Gail was getting relaxed too, so I thought it was a good time to get back to Saturday night.

I told her I knew it wasn't any of my business, but that she was a good friend, and I hated to see her get hurt. Gail just laughed and said she couldn't hurt anymore than she already did. Then she said I wasn't one to talk because she'd seen me touching myself when I write to you. According to her, I should just keep doing that until I had an orgasm. Well, Gail really said "until I cum" (that's how she says it's spelled instead of "come", like normal). She said she knew I'd seen her doing it, and I had to say yes I had, but I could never do that.

She just about floored me then. According to her, I'm all tense all the time and I get to be a real b---- when that time of the month comes around. I guess I am a little crabby sometimes, but I didn't think I was that bad. Gail said she just wished I'd frig (another new word I learned that night) myself until I cum so I'd get back to being the person she moved in with.

Well, I argued that wouldn't be the same as sex with you. She agreed it isn't as good as being f---ed but "it gets the job done for a while". Gail apparently did it even when Luke was home.

I just about fell over when she asked me if I knew how. I just looked at her, because I didn't know what to say. I mean, I know what you always did to get me excited, but like I told you before, I've never done that to myself. It must have showed on my face or something, because Gail frowned at me and said she was sorry and that she thought I knew what to do but that I was just trying to wait until you came home.

Well, then she told me where she'd gone on Sunday. She didn't go to that guy's house. She went to Marsha Gillman's house. Marsha is a woman we met at that club. Her husband is in the 101st Airborne, just like Luke, and he's been in Vietnam for about ten months. She's older than us, but she's still really pretty. I figured Gail had gone over there to talk some more, but I was wrong. Gail said she and Marsha had something in common and asked if I wanted to hear what that was.

I said I guessed so, and Gail said she'd tell me, but we needed another drink first. I was only about half done with mine, but I finished it and she filled up our glasses. I think this one was stronger than the first.

Tim, you'll never guess the story she told me. I didn't want to believe it at first, but knowing what she does in the mornings, I'm sure she was telling me the truth. Remember that I told you Gail was studying to be a nurse before Luke got drafted? Well, she was in a class where one of the things they learned was how to change the sheets on a hospital bed while the patient is still lying there. They learned in class and they were supposed to practice at home. She got paired up with another student named Debbie, and they decided to practice at Debbie's house. Gail and Luke only had one bed and it was a double. Debbie had a twin so it was more like a hospital bed.

I guess Debbie had more in mind than making the bed. Gail said they practiced a couple of times with one of them lying down and the other changing the sheet. Then, while Debbie was playing the patient, Gail accidentally touched her on the breast. Gail said the girl made a little moaning sound, and grabbed her hand to keep it there. When Gail asked her if something was wrong, Debbie said it felt really good to have Gail touch her there and she didn't want her to stop.

Well, I've told you that Gail can be a little wild, and I guess she got pretty wild that night. By the time they finished, they were both naked and kissing and touching each other. Gail said it was the first time a woman ever kissed her on the lips and that she really liked it after a few tries. When Debbie kissed her down there, between her legs, Gail said it was wonderful.

That sounded pretty icky to me, and that's what I said. Gail just laughed and said I shouldn't knock it until I'd tried it. She asked me if you'd ever done that, and I answered that I wouldn't let you because it seemed dirty. Gail said I was missing half the fun, and that I ought to do something about it.

Well, I told her I didn't see how that was possible since you wouldn't be home for another seven months, and I wasn't about to do anything with another man

Gail just grinned and kept talking. She said that when she got home from Debbie's, she dragged Luke off to the bedroom and f---ed him senseless. When he couldn't get hard anymore, he asked her what caused her to be so sexed-up. Can you believe it? She told him about her and Debbie, and he said if it made her that excited she should keep doing it. Gail said she and Debbie got together a couple times a week until Luke got drafted. Since she'd moved here, she hadn't seen Debbie again. Then she told me about Marsha.

Like I said, Marsha was with the group of women we sat with at the club. Sometime during the night, she and Gail ended up sitting beside each other at the table. We got to talking about how we were worried about our husbands and how much we missed them. Marsha said she could manage everything without hers except for one thing. I asked her what that was, and everybody started laughing. The reason was that Marsha had made a circle with her thumb and one finger, and was pushing the middle finger from her other hand in and out of the circle. Boy, was I embarrassed.

Gail told her there were other ways, and everybody laughed again because Marsha said she knew, but that made her electric bill too high. If I hadn't seen Gail with her vibrator, I wouldn't have known what they were laughing about, but since I had, it really was funny. Well, I guess when she said that, she put her hand on Gail's thigh and left it there. Gail said she thought she knew what that meant, but that she thought she'd better make sure. When Marsha got up to go to the restroom, Gail went with her. While they were washing their hands, Gail asked her if she meant anything when she touched her thigh. Marsha said it could mean anything Gail wanted it to mean.

They exchanged phone numbers and addresses, and Marsha asked Gail to come to her house on Sunday. They made love for an hour and then just talked for a while. Gail told me Marsha asked her to come back next Sunday, and wondered if I'd like to come over too.

I told Gail I didn't really didn't think it would be right for me to watch her and Marsha, so I'd just stay home. She just laughed and said they didn't want me to watch. They wanted me to join them. If I hadn't been a little tipsy from the two drinks, I'd probably have told her off, but, well, all I said was that I wouldn't have a clue about what to do. What happened next is what I'm scared to tell you, but I have to.

Gail scooted across the couch until she was sitting right beside me. She put her arm around me, gave me a little hug, and said she wouldn't push me, but she'd love to have me go with her. I guess there aren't any rules when one woman makes love to another one, because she said I could just do whatever I felt comfortable doing.

Gail kind of pushed me forward, and started rubbing my back. You know how much I love to have my back rubbed, and it felt really good. I have to admit it was also nice being hugged again, too. Nobody's hugged me since you left, and I didn't realize how much I'd missed it. After a while, she leaned back and said, "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?"

I said I guessed it was all right.

Gail laughed and said of course it was all right. Then she started rubbing my back again. She kept going lower and lower until she was rubbing my waist. It was a little uncomfortable so I leaned forward. Her hand just slipped down and she was rubbing my butt.

She leaned in front of me and stared into my eyes for a minute, and then she kissed me. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't do anything. After a few seconds, she stopped kissing me and smiled. She asked me if that felt bad or good.