Library Privileges

"Did you really miss me?"

"I could hardly keep my mind on what I was doing at work and I've hardly written a line since you left." They sat down with their coffee then and did their best to talk like normal people.

She asked him, "So where is Lois off to this time?" Ross explained about the club plans and about the women going to Lansing for the weekend. "But didn't you say she hates to drive in the winter?"

"Her friend Alma always does the driving."

"Makes it pretty nice for Lois I'd guess."

"Ever since she met Alma her whole demeanor has changed. I haven't heard her grumble about winter weather once since then."

"But when does she spend time with you? I'm sure you drive her wherever too."

"Of course I do. I'll admit that I haven't spent a lot of time with her the last few months though."

"Since I started keeping house for the two of you."

"Well even before then actually. She used to feel guilty when I was stuck with the housework so with you here that is no longer a concern for her."

"Lucky for her, but maybe not so lucky for you."

"Very lucky for me, because I met you and that means a lot to me."

On the two of them talked, but Patty couldn't ask him what she really wanted to ask. She wanted to know more detail about his and Lois' love life both past and present. She wanted to see if she could figure out how Lois could all but all but abandon her husband. It seemed that about the only thing they were sharing anymore was morning coffee and living expenses.

Patty slowed down and tried to make her work last longer. When Ross asked her at lunch how her project was doing she had to tell him, "Very good, in fact, I'll probably be done in another couple of hours. It would be even less, but I'm very slow with the iron."

Chapter Nine

As they picked up their lunch dishes, he took her in his arms and said, "Since you're so far ahead with your work, and since it is expected that you will still be here Sunday, I think you should spend some time in my arms." He kissed her lightly the first time but the next kiss was anything but light. Before that kiss ended his hands were moving up her blouse and she almost stopped breathing when she felt his hands work on her buttons. There would be no stopping him this time. When she felt his hand open her blouse, she helped him get rid of it and they paused for only a minute as he looked at her standing there in her bra and shorts. Then, with her bra moved up and out of the way, his hand cupped her breast as she breathed faster. It was all she could do to stand as she felt Ross' hands work their magic on her. It had been well over a year since she had been with her now ex husband, and until she had met Ross, she was in no hurry to ever feel a man touch her again. All she wanted to do at that moment was let him undress her and for her to see him naked. Then she wanted to spend the rest of her life in bed making love to him.

It didn't seem possible, but Patty was soon getting her wish as they looked at each other's naked body for a moment before they threw their arms around each other, shared an intense kiss, and then headed for his bedroom. For one fleeing moment it occurred to Patty that she had accepted Lois' offer of her husband, but in the next moment, Lois didn't exist in her mind. Their lovemaking was sublime and intense as each of them explored the other with their hands and their mouth. It was some time before they reached the point where they could no longer make love, but they refused to accept that fact. As they lay on their sides facing each other Patty said, "I think we might have given you more material for your writing."

"I could never write about us honey, because I'm at a loss for words to describe how I feel right now. I only know I love you so very much."

Patty stared into his eyes as she tried to decide if she had heard him correctly. "Honey, what did you just say?"

"I said I love you very much."

She was trying not to cry as she pressed herself into him and they shared a kiss to seal the fact that he loved her. Patty as almost lying on top of him then and said, "I love you too. I love you so much honey."

The moment was theirs alone as they basked in the glow of the love they felt for each other. Where they would go from there was of no importance right then and where Lois fit into everything wasn't considered. All they knew was they loved each other and they were naked and in bed together.

They finally got up and after a quick shower, Ross got her one of Lois' robes. They sat close together on the couch and tried to talk about Lois, but they didn't get very far. Patty was struggling with what Lois had told her, but she needed to think about that conversation some more before telling Ross. There was no guarantee that he would even be able to accept what Lois had told her. In the end all she told him was she loved him and that they would just have to take things one day at a time. Then Ross asked her, "Will you stay with me tonight?"

"Yes off course I will, but I don't have any clean clothes with me."

"You won't need clothes until tomorrow afternoon if I have anything to say about it."

Patty just kissed him and said, "I guess I could finish my work naked," and that's just what she did much to Ross's pleasure. Once she had finished her work, they spent a lot of their time just being together and talking but they also spent a lot of their time in bed together. Not so much to make love, but to be close. They both knew their time together was limited, so they wanted to savor every minute together. Sunday afternoon came all too soon for them. They lingered over lunch but Patty finally said, "I better go honey. I really don't want to, but I can't face Lois right now."

"I understand. I'm not sure what we are going to do, but I do know I can't go on forever like this. I can't go through my days knowing you are only a few miles away." She lingered with him in the kitchen as long as she could, but she knew she couldn't look at Lois and not have her expression tell Lois just what had happened.

Monday was like any other day at work for Patty except she went out of her way to avoid Lois without being obvious. Lois would almost always go out for lunch where Patty would usually eat in the break room to save money. It was usually the same group of people that gathered there and it was a mixture of men and women, married and single. Not long before all of them returned to their offices Holly said, "Patty you've been pretty quiet today is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, great actually."

"You're probably just tired from cleaning Lois' house in the evenings." There was a pause and then Holly continued with, "How is it working for her?"

"Fine. I'm not even sure why she has me do as much as she does. Well except she's gone so much of the time." But she pays very well, the work is easy and the extra money has me just about out of my financial hole now." Then as an after thought she added, "I just can't quite figure Lois out though. There's something...I don't know, different or something. She's very nice and yet..." She saw Holly glance over at Brenda so Patty asked, "What?"

"Oh nothing."

"I saw you look at Brenda just now so what is it, did I say something I shouldn't have?"

Holly looked at her and said, "You really don't know do you."

"Know what, tell me."

"You don't know that Lois is bisexual at least or more likely a lesbian?" Patty felt like she needed to grab the edge of the table to steady herself. She swallowed hard and just stared first at Holly and then at Brenda.

Recovering slightly she looked at Brenda for confirmation and asked, "Is that true?"

Brenda confirmed it saying, "Yes it's true. I'm surprised that you didn't know before you even started to work for her."

"But, how is it I never knew that? Could this just be a vicious rumor?"

"Not likely. Granted we can't prove it, but her previous lover is none other than Linda Higgins, and Linda has made several references regarding her fling with Lois. Without giving details of course." Patty just fell back against her chair and let out her breath.

Patty continued to recover from the shock and asked, "Am I the only one that hasn't heard about this?"

"Probably not. I mean it isn't like it's hot news, especially now."

"So what do you think, bi or lesbian?"

"I for one don't have a clue."

"If a woman is bi can she...or might she progress to being a lesbian?"

"Again, I'm not the one to ask. I just don't know or care for that matter." Brenda looked over at Holly but got nothing more than a shrug of the shoulders from her. They stood up and gathered their things and headed for the door.

Patty paused and said, "Thanks for telling me, that helps me to understand a lot of things now."

Both Brenda and Holly stopped as Holly asked, "What kinds of things?"

"Patty caught herself but stumbled through with, "Oh you know going out so much, that sort of thing."

"Oh." It was hard for Patty to keep her mind on her work for the rest of the day and as soon as she could, she left and headed straight home.

Chapter Ten

As soon as Patty was home she opened a bottle of wine and poured herself a large glass of the deep red fluid and headed for the bedroom to change. She stripped off her clothes including her bra and put on baggy shorts and a soft top, took a long drink of her wine and went back and settled into her easy chair. She was going to assume that Lois was or had at one time discovered she was bisexual. That would explain how she became involved with Linda Higgins. Then Patty realized that there could well have been somebody else even before then. She further assumed that Lois progressed from being bisexual to deciding she was a lesbian, which would explain her not making love to Ross. That still didn't explain Lois' actions though. If she was lesbian, then why not just leave Ross and get on with her life? Why continue the charade of a happy marriage? Could it be Lois liked the security that being married to Ross provided her? He certainly made it easy for Lois. Patty had never known anybody as liberal as Ross was when it came to giving Lois free reign to come and go as she pleased. One more thought came to her mind then. What if Ross knew that Lois was bisexual? That could change everything and would tell Patty that her chances of being anything more than a cover for Ross were nil.

It wasn't long before her glass of wine was gone, so she poured about half that much again and returned to her contemplation. None of what she had considered explained why Lois would pay Patty about twice as much as most housekeepers made, or the big one, why Lois would offer her husband to her. Patty had to think that being paid so well meant that it was important to Lois that she not loose her housekeeper...but why was that so important? Then another thought emerged that seemed ludicrous to Patty. If she were to continue as the housekeeper and lover for Ross, then he would more likely go along with whatever Lois might come up with. If Ross was getting his sexual needs fulfilled, then he'd more likely continue with the status quo. Could that really be her thinking? Could Lois really think that Ross would go along with that long term? What would keep him from giving up on Lois and falling for her, which of course was exactly what was happening. Patty had even tried to warn Lois she was playing with fire. But Patty also had to accept the fact that she could have come right out and told Lois she was indeed falling hard for Ross. Did Lois really see Patty as somebody too inferior to worry about just because she was willing to clean Lois' house? Patty looked at her glass of wine and put it down. She needed a clear head now more than ever before. She picked up the phone and called Ross. If Lois answered she would just say she'd dialed the wrong number.

When Ross answered she said, "Honey this is a wrong number. I'm looking for Kathy. I need to talk to you as soon as possible. Call me please?"

"It's okay, I can talk, what's going on?"

"We have to talk. Before tomorrow evening if possible."

Ross paused and then said, "Okay, can I come to your place in say an hour?"

She gave a sigh of relief and said, "Yes that would be great. Have you eaten?"

"No."

"Then don't and I'll call for a pizza. I love you."

"I love you too, see you soon."

Ross was in his office and as Lois walked past his door she asked, "Did I hear the phone earlier?"

"Yes, somebody was looking for Kathy."

"I'm leaving now. I should be home by ten or eleven."

"Okay, have fun."

"Oh I will." Ross waited for ten minutes and then headed to Patty's apartment. When Patty opened her door he stepped in and right into her arms. "I'm glad you called because I've missed you."

"I've missed you too honey. Wine with dinner or Pepsi?"

"Wine sounds great if you're joining me."

"I am. I started without you in fact."

She led the way and he said from behind her, "You sounded pretty tense when you called, what's up?"

"Let's eat first okay? If I start talking about that I won't eat and I'm starved."

Ross was still taking his last bite when she poured the last of the wine and said, "Let's move to the living room because this could take some time." She felt like she was going to go crazy if she didn't start talking so she took a drink and set her glass down before asking, "Ross, do I remember you saying that it's almost always Alma that Lois goes with?"

"Always. At one time there was a Linda something, but now it's just her and Alma, why?"

She looked at him and then came right out and asked him, "Have you ever considered the possibility that Lois is either bisexual or a lesbian?" Ross didn't move. He held his glass halfway between his lips and the coffee table as he looked at her. Patty just waited for that question to sink in and for his response.

"What makes you ask me that question?"

"Have you?"

He looked down and then after another long pause he admitted, "I've wondered about that at different times. Is that what you think Patty?"

"It isn't what I think, because that had never occurred to me until today when somebody asked me if I was aware of that fact."

"What?"

"That Linda you mentioned is Linda Higgins and she's a lesbian and doesn't hide the fact. A good looking very feminine lesbian. There is some question about Lois if she is bisexual or a full lesbian but I have some thoughts about that too. Ross...it's pretty well known at the office that Lois and Alma have been having a long affair."

He looked down and tried to talk, cleared his throat and asked, "So they think I know and just don't mind, is that it?"

"I don't know about that." Patty took his hand then and said, "Ross there's more. Just before Lois left for Lansing she came to see me." He looked at her in surprise and she continued. "She came right out and said she didn't mind if you and I made love as long as it wasn't in front of her."

She could see that it upset him, but what did surprise her was when he said, "So you decided to make love to me but not tell me it was only because she said to." That hurt her and the tears started to flow.

"Damn it Ross, I love you. Don't you believe me? I did my best not to make love to you, but I just couldn't stop myself and you were no help. You didn't even try to stop so it was all up to me or don't you remember that detail? When you started to undress me in the kitchen, my self control just evaporated. You certainly seemed eager to make love to me then."

"But...why right after Lois said it was okay?"

"That's pure coincidence. I came in to your house Saturday all full of resolve to behave, get my work done, kiss you and go home. It just didn't work out that way. Lois has been doing her best to get us together. That crap about her spring clothes was just that, so much crap. That was just a ruse to get me over there while she was gone and she didn't care that she had to pay me to get me there. Ross, if you can't accept the fact that I love you completely and totally, then we have a problem more urgent than what Lois is doing."

Ross took her hand in his then and said, "I'm sorry honey. I don't know what to think or say."

"You should have seen my reaction when she offered you to me last Friday."

"She said...just what did she say?"

"It was straightforward. I don't mind if you and Ross make love. No cute euphemisms or dancing around the subject."

"But why?"

"For some reason she wants to keep things as they are now. Maybe she needs you as some sort of security blanket or safety net in case she learns later she's made a mistake and wants to go back to her old life...whatever that was. If that means you getting your sex by us making love, she doesn't mind as long as she doesn't have to make love to you. If she's a lesbian now, she probably has reached a point where she can't bring herself to sleep with you. Of course, I'm assuming that the two of you aren't making love."

"No, we haven't made love since..., hell, I can't remember the last time. She insisted it was her wintertime blues issues as it has been in the past."

"Well, it doesn't sound like she's suffering from her blues anymore. Ross, I can't be over there cleaning your house now. Not with all that has happened. I can't calmly look at her and pretend I know nothing of her scheme."

Ross finally took a breath and said, "Well one thing is for sure. I'm not about to let things go on as they have been. You can bet that Lois and I will be talking either well into the early hours of the morning or after. No, not until I've reviewed our finances, and I agree, don't come over tomorrow night. I'll tell her you had to see a sick aunt. I'll call you as soon as I can and let you know what's going on. Patty, it could be a few days before you hear from me, but try not to worry. I'm not about to walk away from you and that's a promise."

Chapter Eleven

As soon as Ross got home, he went straight to his office and waded into their finances. When Lois got home, she assumed he was writing and after telling him she was home, she left him alone to write. Ross spent the next three hours working out different options and did his best to expose holes in his plans. One thing was easy to see. His fairly comfortable lifestyle was going to take a hit for awhile, but he would survive. Once he was done with that he went to bed and then spent the next day thinking about his future. He made sure he wasn't kidding himself about anything. There would be rough sailing at times, but it was something that had to be done and the longer he waited the more he was wasting even more of his life.

He waited until after dinner Wednesday night and then said, "Lois it's time for us to have a talk."

"Of course honey, about what?"

"I want a divorce."

It was like he had slapped her face. She stared at him about half wondering what the punch line would be to his joke...but she knew there wasn't going to be one.

"Why...where did this come from? Oh, I'll bet you and Patty have been making love."

"That's not the reason that I want a divorce, Lois. Can you remember when we last made love? Not the day, I'll settle for the week. Hell, I'll settle for the month. When was that?"

There was a long pause, but she tried to save herself by saying, "I don't keep track of that and what's the difference?"

Ross almost laughed. You have no idea either. The difference? Well doesn't the fact that neither of us can seem to recall when or where we last made love should be very telling I'd think."

"You know how I am in the winter, we've talked about this a number of times."

"That is so much bullshit and you know it. How is it that you have no sexual urges except with Alma? Well, okay or Linda Higgins before, but Alma now. It's a safe bet that it hasn't been long cold winter with her. I don't know how long this has been going on, but it's been far too long. My only real question is why the hell have you bothered to stay with me? Why wouldn't you want to leave and be with her full time?"