All Comments on 'Life as a New Hire Ch. 04'

This series, has made me laugh numerous times, it is very well written, and i enjoy it thoroughly. keep up the amazing work :D

It's a great balance of fear and the willingness to "Fight Back". I know you said that you had a number of chapters already written and I hope you can keep your focus to at least get us to some closure on certain matters in one way or another as I don't want this series to end up as a partial like so many others seem to.

Hopefully your editing help and your computer hold out and we can get more of this posted as soon as possible.

Funny, intriguing, light hearted, a plot that drives the conflict, and the sex scenes are well done too. The protagonist is an empowered yet flawed person who rolls with reality. The little asides he gives about relationships and life are amusing too. He seems an extraordinary person but that just leaves me guessing he is not a normal person, so I don't even need to suspend disbelief, well by scifi erotica standards anyway.

I constantly chuckle while reading this series. I love the balance your male characters can walk between arrogant douchebags and fun loving poets. Well done. I appreciate this escape and long for more.* * * * *

I just noticed I started laughing at the beginning of this chapter and I am still LMAO at the finish!

I'm in limbo for two of your unfinished series already ... and you start this one ...which I love ... pain is as long as this one goes the others stay idle ... but I can't want this one to end .... sigh so conflicted

Nevermind "just" intellectual, this series is hilarious.

Now my curiosity is pulling me along...

This is an intriguing story. I'm somehow torn if I love it or not. I think I must read a few more chapters to decide. :)

The biggest issues bothering me and disrupting my reading experience are the problematic transitions in the story. For example, there was a scene where Cáel (and Desiree) were picking up the kids. The scene started on the front steps of the house but after a few lines Cáel was looking at the girls on the back seat. Things like that really mess up the "movie" I'm playing inside my head. Sometimes I have to scroll back and read the scene once more to figure out in which point the scenery changed.

Some more narrative might help in this issue. In the scene I mentioned, e.g. "Caél ushered the girls in the back seat and climbed in the front seat" or something like that would have helped a lot. (I'm no writer myself so I'm really not the best person to say what to write.)

Let's see how the story goes—if it's captivating enough to keep me going 'til the end. :)

As I've progressed as a writer I've been working on that and various other problems. These days (early 2017) when I do minor scene breaks I normally do this: [...] to let the reader know there has been a hiccup in the 'action' and/or dialogue.

When I started back in the summer of 2012 I was really choppy and didn't use an editor. Now I use two plus have picked up various techniques which help the story flow better.

I hope you find the story's plot more enjoyable as you progress. As fair warning, it slowly evolves a 'mega-plot' as it progresses ~ towards Chapter 30. As a second 'fair warning', I am current going through a serious Writer's Block' going on six months now so this story is tuck on Chapter 47 with the conclusion of some events left hanging.

James aka FinalStand

Lol seriously the gay roommate is hilarious.this guys so dead lol.

A lot of people have said this is funny. It is. I'm loving it.

That said, "cue" is a signal or indication - the kind of thing that an actor gets from off-stage to remind him of his lines. While a "queue" is a line or list, indicating an order to a group of people or collection of objects. When workers are taking jobs, they're coming from a queue, not a cue.

... I believe I am given a cue (or is that 'a clue') about correcting the queue in later chapters. Thanks anyway. I can only get better if people point these things out to me.

James aka FinalStand

Think this is my 4th time reading and this gem jumped out:

"Sure. Every Park Avenue babe should get to meet a gay tattoo artist from Queens once in their life before Prom,"

Is that cause they are all destined to meet one on Prom night itself? lol

I hear those Park Avenue types do all sorts of crazy things when they hit 18. I read about it on the internet and have seen it on numerous police-procedurials so it HAS to be true ... right? ;)

James aka FinalStand

"Nikita was joining a large and storied sisterhood of women who had tried to save me - from myself." ... Laughing and crying at the same time. You rock!

Cannot stop giggling and laughing at the dialogue - just the right balance of complete insanity and frivolity.

You have captured me, and refused to let go. This is a great story.

Funny how every main character in your stories has iron clad principles, only to regularly and without warning deviate from them spectacularly. Makes for an untended amusing read when you make it a drinking game for every time a guy says one thing and immediately acts completely different.

Besides your stories cannot be tolerated sober so yeah, drinking game is the only way out.

To be outrageous. To be funny. To be ironic. Or not to be. That is Cael's dilemma. Yes?

I keep not wanting to read the next chapter because the story is so ridiculous. Then I think about all the laughs I have had so far...

Oh Gary, Gary Stu. Is there truly nothing you cannot do?

Have to admit that the outlandishly bizarre situations that Cael gets into, along with his quick wit and incredible sense of humor, keep me coming back for more.

I love the off the scale humour, keeps me chuckling.

5/5

Totally over the top and loving it.

You used cue and queue to mean the same thing in this chapter, why?

Striglitch,

Because sometimes I just fuck up and get the meanings wrong. This is why I eventually got two editors to catch most of my errors. On my own, I am a hazard to the English language.

Sorry about that and take care,

James aka FinalStand

I do enjoy your stories I've read, They remind me of a good adult visual novel game. But that last comment/cx post pushed me to comment and ask if we do spot errors do you want to hear? If so, what would be the preferred method of notification?

Thanks for sharing your work and I do hope your health lets you continue to write as the ideas come to you.

dork42,

Just post my errors in the comments. While I really don't want to re-submit the corrected stories here, it does help me in future stories and in future segments of these stories. Health-wise, I had a rough December with a severe lung infection, but am looking to a more positive 2024. My New Year's resolution was to submit a new story, or complete an old one each month. Please wish me luck and take care.

James aka FinalStand