Life Decisions - Laura 4 Years Later

With her urine jetting and splashing between her legs and on to the patio for a second night in a row, a cigarette in her left hand, her now full wine glass in the right, her blue panties getting soaked around her toes, they hadn't quite got down in time before she started peeing, as it had taken longer than she thought to pour the wine from the fridge, light her cigarette and then open the back door. It was only then as it dribbled down her legs had she had really needed to go more than she had anticipated.

Sunday

"Whose doorbell is ringing so loudly at this time on a Sunday morning?" Thought Laura as she rolled over dragging the corner of the duvet with her as she hacked her morning cough into the pillow several times. Trying to keep her eyes shut, her head was hurting as the loud shrill continuously echoed within the house. "That ringing really ought to stop soon," she mused as she closed her eyes again and hoped.

The doorbell finally stopped ringing, and she grizzled burying her head deeper into her soft pillow.

Then the silence was broken. She could hear her mobile phone ringing downstairs. "I will get that later," she thought, it can't be that important. She huffed as she rolled over the other way dragging the duvet with her.

Then there was banging on the door.

"Fuck Sake!" Laura called out rolling on to her back and shuffling up, so she was sitting bolt upright in bed, desperately trying to re-swallow her stomach contents that was moving after the sharp movement. This was all not helped by the ever with the yet again slightly spinning room.

"Oh Fuck!" She exclaimed her bloodshot eyes wide open as she then hacked a cough. "Oh fuck...Mum!" She screwed her face up and then hacked a loud cough.

Laura gingerly got out of bed holding on to the wall for support, she noticed she was naked and could feel an almost proud through drift through her brain that somehow, she had got her self-undressed last night and got herself to bed. But with no memory of where her clothes actually were.

As she stumbled, she could feel grit digging in between her wobbling cold buttocks as she moved. But couldn't think where she had been for that. Laura grabbed her nearly empty packet of cigarettes on the bedside unit, shook it and grabbed and swiftly lit one taking a deep drag and lightly coughed the exhale.

The knocking got louder, and she winced as she could hear her mum shouting "Laura" at the top of her voice. She inhaled her cigarette deeply again for the mental and physical strength required to move any further from her spot.

"I'm on my way mum!" Laura shouted back, exhaling her smoke as she shouted. "Shh that shouting hurt my head." she said quietly out loud to the empty room.

Laura stumbled across her bedroom almost whining in pain as bounced off the side of the bed and collided with the wall opposite. Rubbing her thigh, noticing the spot where yet another bruise would be added to the plentiful collection on her legs. Cross with said legs as they again did not do as she wanted. With a huff she grabbed her pink fluffy dressing gown from the chair in the corner of the room. Scattering more dirty clothes on the floor in the process. Laura dangled her cigarette as steadied herself with the hand against the wall and tried to wrap and tie the gown around her body one handed, tucking her escapee breast back into the gown in an attempt to at least make herself half decent. She then wobbled and stumbled over piles of clothes on the floor, before making it gingerly down the stair to find her mum, swearing as she went. She got to the bottom of the stairs and swore loudly at herself. She desperately needed a morning pee, but she decided that would have to wait. If it possible could. Her mum was still shouting "Laura," and banging on the door, and the neighbours would probably start complaining soon.

"Hey Mum, I'm here!" She said as she attempted to open the door. "Good morning, how are you doing?" Laura said trying on bright and breeziness as she actually opened the door. Laura was squinting her eyes, put her cigarette in her mouth and used her hands to shield her eyes to protect them from the late morning daylight coming through the now open front door.

"Oh, finally. Good morning darling, well it's almost afternoon Law!" Her mum huffed briefly looking at watch on her wrist for effect. "Well, I am absolutely fine," her mum said, "I am more concerned with you!" Trisha followed up sternly.

"I'm fine mum honestly, please come in." Laura suggested, cigarette bouncing in her mouth as she spoke. "Oh, you might need to clear a space on the sofa and take a seat." She directed and then thought as she squeezed her thighs together and gently bounced on the spot. "Oh, actually mum, can I be cheeky, can you pop the kettle on for us?" She asked, "I need to go back upstairs for a moment!"

Trisha tutted, "I will do. but first give me a hug."

With a grunt they had a mother daughter bear hug.

"Sweetie," her mum loudly and exaggeratedly sniffed and grimaced as she stood back and straightened her clothes. "The house stinks like a brewery, and I'm sorry darling, to be brutal, you smell absolutely awful too!" She stated pulling a face of disgust.

In the hallway leaning her bottom against the wall, Laura sniffed her sweaty armpits and then her smoke reeking hair and cringed. "I did shower yesterday mum honest."

Her mum raised a dubious eyebrow at her.

"I'm ok mum, I just had some wine with the girls yesterday after shopping that's all." Laura groaned, then followed up with a couple of hard coughs. "I forgot to set the alarm this morning." Thinking she couldn't even remember getting in to bed. As Laura extinguished the cigarette in the full ashtray in the living room. She forced a smile squeezed her thighs together as she said, "Back in two ticks." Then she carefully padded up the stairs as her bladder and urethra was twinging ever louder for her morning pee and with a vague attempt to get presentable for her mum. Luckily, she only started leaking once she got into sanctuary of the bathroom. She was rather desperate. This time the carpet was saved.

Her mum did what mums do best, went into the kitchen, retrieved a black rubbish sack from under the sink and proceeded to clear the pigsty of a living room, she opened the curtains and windows to get some light and fresh air in the room, then filled the sack with this and last week's takeaway cartons, empty cigarette packs and extremely full ashtrays. Tutting at her daughter the whole time. She couldn't really complain too much about the smoking, she was dangling her own Marlboro light at the same time. However, she was concerned about the quantity of empty wine bottles she was finding. She even helpfully picked up Laura's Chinese food-stained clothes from the living room and put them in her own bag to take home wash later.

She had hoped for grandchildren sooner rather than later, but with the disappearance of Adam from their lives, and as she cast her eyes around the now much cleaner room and to the full sack, she was reminded that it was not looking very likely at the moment.

With that rubbish sack full she went into the kitchen in attempt find a clean surface in there.

After about 30 minutes Laura returned downstairs with dangling her most recently lit cigarette. She was looking sprightlier, as her face and teeth were washed, and her body sprayed in a potent sweat deodorant. She had combed and put her hair up in a ponytail. The only clean clothes she could find were her large plain white t-shirt and her ever dependable grey elasticated baggy tracksuit bottoms. It was evident through the white top as she bounced down the stairs she hadn't bothered with a bra. Laura had even tried to find some clean knickers, but the remaining ones in the bottom of her drawer were all size or two too small. She really needed to do some washing. She could not find last night's dirty ones either.

"Oh, that's where they are..." Laura said with realisation as she got to the bottom of the stairs remembering that she had already thought of this problem yesterday. There in the brown paper bag was her brand-new useful Primark knickers. She tutted as she kicked the bag.

"Ah your back, and..." Trisha looked her up and down "...if I can say so, looking better already sweetie." Her mum called out from the kitchen, glancing up at her from the kitchen table with a coffee mug in her hand.

"Oh, thanks mum, you are star, I've been meaning to clean up for a while!" Laura smiled sheepishly as she padded into the kitchen. Seeing the two full bin bags in the corner of the kitchen, "I will take them out to the wheelie bin later..."

"Thanks, they are a tad heavy for me now!" Replied her mum. "I've found some milk and that is about it." She said as a formal statement. "The milk smells just about ok for the coffees- I am thinking I should take you to the big Tesco for some supplies don't you think?"

"Coffee is lovely thanks mum," Laura warmly smiled. Before taking a sip of her hot coffee and wincing as it burnt her tongue, before focusing on the hot burning cigarette between her fingers as she then then stubbing it out on the now clean ashtray. No sooner was it extinguished she was offering mum one of her cigarettes from the packet on kitchen table. "Also. Yes, I do think I need some food, I think I am running low on a few bits" she feebly replied as she placed the filter between her lips.

They both lit up cigarettes and simultaneously inhaled deeply and created a large cloud of smoke above their heads with the simultaneous exhale.

Trisha who was just shy of 55, had smoked as a teenager and early twenties, but had given up when she got married and had Laura. She had always liked to stay relative fit with long walks in the country with her husband, Dereck, and being active in the community, and she still clerks the local parish council meetings.

For her, and she believed for Laura, this all changed when Dereck died of a car accident four years ago. He was coming home late at night after work and a drunk driver crashed into his car, he wasn't at fault. Laura had been so supportive following, as a thank you she had used some of his life insurance pay out to help Laura buy her own place. Laura had reintroduced cigarettes into her life as a way of dealing with the grief. It was wrong, but it felt at the time so right.

Sitting with her daughter having a morning coffee and cigarette together in the house they bought with the insurance money was nice reminder of her husband and Laura's dad.

"Oh Law, you must google how to keep cats away from your back yard." Trisha suggested after her exhale with the remaining smoke escaping as she spoke.

Laura looked back quizzically. "Why mum. I didn't know I had that problem?" She turned and with a puzzled face, looked through the back door window into the small patio yard area.

Trisha took a deep breath, "Well sweetie, when I opened the back door, which you left unlocked darling! You must be more careful! Don't want you to get burgled now. Where was I, oh yes, to get some, erm, fresh air in the house, and it did not work. Your back-patio area stinks of cats' pee, and darling, that is not good thing!"

"Oh," Laura paused as she brought her filter back to her lips. The cigarette fizzed as she had a thoughtful inhale. Another memory crossed her brow, she suddenly knew it was not cats. But did not realise she was now peeing out there quite so often... 'Did I do it again last night?' She mused to her completely alcohol blanked memory. "Mum, I will look that up later today." She confidently announced with her exhale. "Oh, to have a downstairs loo..." she muttered under her breath as the remaining smoke from her lungs twisted from between her lips.

"Also, darling, it must have rained her locally last night as well Law," a grin crept across Trisha's face before placing the cigarette back between her lips to hide it.

"Oh?" Laura looked on with even more confusion.

Trisha exhaled and rubbed her lips together. "Law, I picked up a pair of your very wet blue panties from the huge puddle by the back doorstep. I guess you must have dropped them when doing the washing?" She queried with a wry smile before bringing the filter back to her lips as Laura guilty gulped for air. As she again exhaled, she smiled. "I've thrown them in the washing machine for now." she informed before continuing. "Also, you should also clear up some of the butts you have flicked out there too, it's not good for the birds as they think its food!!" Her mother reprimanded. Without openly questioning Laura why her obviously pee-soaked panties were there at all.

"Oh, thanks mum, will do..." replied Laura in a teenage style. The jigsaw pieces started to fall in to place, firstly the panties had been located, then after a few seconds Laura started to remember attempting to flick a couple post pee cigarettes across the patio with a drunken childish giggle.

She had initially struggled to stand up after her pee as her wet panties were tangled and stuck to her piss splashed legs, so had drunkenly logically stayed where she was for a couple more smoked ciggies sipping her wine getting her strength back to try stand up again. She had sat there long and drunk enough wine that she had the need to pee again.

Though once her naked bum on the step had got too cold and the previously warm pee puddle, she was sitting in had become too uncomfortable, she had to get up. It took her three attempts to untangle the now heavy sopping panties from her feet and get up without spilling the remainder of her wine or dropping her dangled cigarette. It took her a while.

"We maybe could find your dads old pressure washer in our garage and clean the patio one day?" said Trisha snapping Laura away from her attempts at remembering last night.

"Oh, that would be good mum, do you know how to use it?" Asked Laura with a subsequent inhale,

"No, but don't you young people use YouTube how to do everything now anyway?" replied Trisha

Laura nodded and sighed, "Good Point mum, we can look that up closer to the time." She nodded again before dragging on her own cigarette.

"Talking of time, Law, shall I drive you to Tesco's?" Trisha asked, exhaling out her smoke as she spoke like the experienced smoker she had become "Don't they shut at four on Sundays?" she rhetorically asked herself and Laura

"Oh yes, that would be good mum, I definitely need food in the house, and I don't think I should drive just yet" Laura said thoughtfully looking across at the collection of empty wine bottles her mum has tidied on the counter, then took a large swig of her coffee.

"Law, can I suggest something else before we leave?" Trisha asked.

"Yeah mum?" Laura slowly asked, very much worried of what the next level of criticism that was heading her way

"You should go and put a bra on before we go out." Trisha tersely suggested, "you will get the spotty teenage weekend till boy far too excited if you go out like that!" Trisha smiled. She always tried to be truthful to her daughter.

Laura dangled her cigarette, and guiltily folded her arms across her chest in show squishing her loose breasts that had been pressing against her top and said with a reluctant sigh, "Yes mum, will grab one now!"

***

A Big Tesco's shop had recently been hard for Laura. She much preferred the little shop at the end of the road. The 20-minute drive with her mum allowed for a couple of pre-entry cigarettes. But her main problem for her was that her hangover was now properly kicking in even with after the two mugs of coffee with her mum. With the bright lights of the store hurting her eyes and she the fact that she probably hadn't gone more than 40 minutes without a cigarette since Friday, was grizzling her lungs. The hour, and half walking slowly up and down the isles was far too difficult. Shopping without a list is problematic at the best of times. They got to the coffee isle, Laura put a couple of boxes of pots for a coffee machine in the trolley and then pulled a cigarette and lighter out of her bag.

"I'm sorry mum, I will be five minutes, I need some fresh air." Laura sheepishly announced putting the unit cigarette between her lips.

"Darling, you have got it bad haven't you" tutted Trisha, "I will look after the trolley and see you in a few minutes".

"Yup, will be back in bit!" Laura smiled around the unlit cigarette as it bounces in her mouth as she walked off tugging her jogging bottoms up against her wobbling hip fat as she walked.

The lit lighter connected with the cigarette as soon as she was out the door. She dragged hard as she walked over and leaned against the cold metal bar that made up the trolley park. As she exhaled, she noticed next her a little old lady and did a desperate double pump in inhale.

The lady turned and smiled. "Dear, you remind me of my youth," she deeply rasped beside her as Laura exhaled. The lady had a weathered and wrinkly face her grey fringe tinted yellow from years of smoking. "Mind you I'm no differed now." She wheezed her own exhale, carefully dropping and stubbing out the cigarette with brown slip-on shoe. Laura concentrating on inhaling again and then watched as she exhaled through her nose as the old lady slowly walked back into the store with her walking frame.

"Yes, that will be me in forty years' time." Laura chuckled out loud before hurriedly inhaling deeply again needing to feed her lungs with smoke.

Laura finished her cigarette flicking it into the trolley park beside her as she exhaled and again tugging on her elasticated joggers went back to find her mum.

She eventually found her mum a few aisles across in with the bread. Unsurprisingly the trolley a lot fuller than when she left it. As her mum was offering to buy her shopping, wine, and hopefully some more ciggies, so she wasn't going to complain too much.

For Laura it felt like ages by the time they reached the checkout, trudging up and down the remaining aisles. Getting all the important adult stuff like washing powder, toilets rolls and the like. Laura by then had then got a little crotchety and snapped with the charity lady offering to pack her bags for her. But her overly fitted blue lacy bra under the far too small stretched white top still got the young spotty till guy's eyes out on stalks as he just had to stare at her chest. She saw this as small victory over her mother.

As they walked down the end of the checkouts towards the exit, Laura paused retrieved her cigarettes from her bag and offered one to her mum, she refused and took her own cigarette out her own handbag. They both lit up as soon as they left the supermarket with Laura pushing her now full trolley clinking with wine bottles, and supplies went to find the car, they both stopped exhaled a blue cone to sky with both their heads slightly kinked to the left. As such you could tell they were related.

They got back to Laura's and after sitting down, having yet another coffee and cigarette, together they put the shopping away. It was only right once finished to have another ciggy break, before they both marched upstairs, emptied the several piles of dirty washing in the bedroom and stripping the bed before putting them into the washing machine. Then as the machine whirred, they had a salad sandwich, crisps, and diet coke each for a late lunch as Laura was complaining she was now very hungry.

After enjoying another cigarette, they then put the contents of the washing machine in the tumble drier, so that Laura definitely had some dry, clean clothes for next week. Trisha with a world-weary sigh, headed upstairs and made the bed with clean dry bedding.

They did the dishes side by side, dangling their cigarettes as they did it. Then went around the house tidying, vacuuming the trails of dropped ash that Laura had liberally spread around the house over the last couple of weeks. The occasional table even got the wiped attempting to clean up the many wine glass circles, the drunken miss-placed ash and cigarettes butts and it had a bit of a polish. Laura even cleaned the pleather sofa, as there were signs of recent stains on her usual seat, but her mum really didn't need to know about them.