Life is Full of Surprises

I didn't plan it or invite him he just showed up. I know I should have sent him away but I felt like I could trust him to behave and realize it was a onetime deal. I was weak. I faltered and I failed you, me us.

I'm sorry the second time we did sleep in our bed. I got caught up in the excitement of it all and felt more rushed and it was easier and more comfortable than the floor. No I don't love him. No I never planned on leaving you. The last time I made him use a condom and I told him that I never, ever wanted to see him again before he left.

I found him handsome. However, you're more handsome than he is and I saw him as much less attractive as you. No, he didn't have a bigger cock in fact it was much smaller. It was nothing you did or did not do. You are a terrific husband, an exceptionally talented, skillful, and giving lover. You are a wonderful man whom I love deeply and completely. I cannot fathom for the life of me why I did what I did. I know I'm not worthy but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me I'll spend the rest of my life working to earn back your trust and to make you happy.

No matter what happens, I never ever want to see that slime ball ever again. He saw me as just another piece of meat and another notch on his belt. The thought of him makes me want to puke."

By now I was desensitized and though I knew it would hit me like a ton of bricks later, I plodded on. "Allie, did you tell him about the baby? If not, are you planning on telling him he is going to be a father? "

She looked me square in the eye and with more steadfast determination than I have ever seen in her eyes, "Jason, I would rather die than to tell him or have him be a part of this child's life. I need a man who has a moral compass and knows right from wrong and who is fair, compassionate and strong in mind and character. He needs to be you Jason, only you."

I had tears falling and I did my level best to be clear and coherent. "Allie, I feel as though I never knew you at all and right now I know I can't trust you. I love you but I feel betrayed by you and by him. Unlike you I want to see him again just once. He'll get his in due time.

I need to get away. I'm not sure I can raise or love another man's child especially a product of an affair. I'm willing to give counseling a try but I offer to promises. It's most likely something I can't put behind me but I'll try.

Answer one more question. If it came down to our marriage or your bastard, if I couldn't get past the hurt and deception that baby represents could you give it up for adoption?"

"Jason, please I beg you don't place me in such a no win scenario. I believe I would rather live alone and miserable the rest of my life before I would give it up for adoption. You're the one and only one I'll ever love and the only man I will ever marry.

Please find someplace in your heart for me, for us you are this baby's father and I don't care if the odds are a million to one, until I have proof positive I'll never accept that you are the biological father of our baby, OUR baby Jason, OUR baby!!"

"Alright Allie, that's all. I have a lot to process and a lot to think about while I sort out my feelings, I said exasperated as I got up and heated up the kettle and got Allie a fresh teabag and poured her another cup, here Allie drink this and try to relax. You have your baby to think of. I need to take care of some things this week. I will stay in the guest room for now.

I need to go to Chicago for two maybe three days. Hopefully I'll return with some answers. I'll be leaving for Chicago on Tuesday. Drink your tea and then go to bed and rest. We'll talk more when I get back. Until then we need to peacefully co-exist under the same roof, okay? If not then I will find a place to stay."

"Jason, I'll do whatever it takes as long as you stay. You do whatever you feel is necessary. I'll say goodnight and Jason, I know you don't believe this but I do love you very much! Goodnight,"

*******

On Monday I met with my boss and told him I needed time off. After I told him what was going on he agreed to help me and he gave me as much time as I needed to get things squared away. I told him I was still going to Chicago for a couple of days. He thanked me for taking care of it.

My first call was to the best ob/gyn practice in the city, the office of Dr. Jesse Brewster where I made an appointment for Allie to begin her pre natal care. I also called her sister Karen to come stay with her while I was in Chicago.

Over the weekend I came to a realization that whatever Allie may have done her baby was just a bystander. It didn't ask to be brought into the middle of this cluster fuck and I had no right to take out my anger, pain or frustrations on an innocent child, I vowed no matter what I would make sure she got proper care.

I retained a divorce lawyer to find out what my options were if deciding to end my marriage became inevitable. I went to the bank and I moved some money around. We didn't have much in the way of credit card debt as we paid the balances off each month. So I paid off what there was and I changed the limit on our joint card from 10,000 to 1,000. I opened a new account in my name only with a 20,000 credit limit. I like to be prepared in case of an emergency.

SURPRISE I never have been attached to a Special Forces unit and have old team neither do I or anyone I know knows somebody connected to the Mafia. I have no plans to kill him and I am not a hacker who can steal his money or make him look like an embezzler.

What I did do is speak with a few purchase agents in my area who plan on blackballing Brian not so much as to help me exact a pound of flesh but moreover keeping him away from their wives. I also sent him a copy of an email with an audio recording of Allie's "full confession" aka my question and answer session.

I told him if I ever hear of him being within 500 miles of Allie, his wife gets recording and Allie's willing testimony on his wife's behalf at his divorce hearing. Like Allie's baby his wife and kids were innocents and while I wanted to hinder him I didn't want to do anything that would truly hurt his family.

Since I basically called everyone I knew within a 500 mile radius and gave them the skinny on old Brian, I doubt he will ever darken my doorstep again. Although I occasionally send the email to him at work to remind him in case he forgets.

SURPRISE, Allie developed pre-eclampsia and had to spend the last three months of her pregnancy on complete bed rest. I had to hire a maid and a home nurse during the hours I was working. I still slept in the guest room so I purchased a baby monitor in case she needed help in the night.

She wanted to know the sex up front which allowed me to decorate a nursery in the spare bedroom next to the master bedroom for a little girl. I even threw a baby shower. I invited all of her friends and set up chairs and a table for food all in her room. Karen and Allie's best friend Marci came to the rescue and they helped selecting games, buying small prizes the games and setting up the table for the food and drinks.

SURPRISE, counseling actually helped me come to if not understand her betrayal at least move past it and try to establish a foundation on which trust could slowly be built upon. During the pregnancy I was so busy I never dwelled on the baby's lineage. The intense counseling sessions were still focusing on Allie and my relationship, the baby was something to be discussed at a later date.

SURPRISE, I couldn't handle it when the baby finally arrived. I ended up moving out for a while to get my head straight. It upset Allie who thought we were making progress. She named her Georgia Mae Allen, her maiden name. I just couldn't put my name on the birth certificate. I was considering seeing a different therapist to work through my issues with the baby.

When Georgia Mae was three months old, I had the DNA test done as Allie requested and it was NO SURPRISE that as Dr. Pendergrass surmised my swimmers didn't swim and as Maury Povich would say, "When it comes to three month old Georgia Mae, Jason, you're not the father."

Then Maury would be telling me to be in the girl's life be her dad. I was about to truly consider the fact that since Brian would never know or ever have any kind of role in Georgia Mae's life that I could see my way clear to step in to the role. However, like on Maury there was another twist.

SURPRISE, "When it comes to three month old Georgia Mae, Brian, you are not the father!!" I don't know who the first to faint. Was it Allie or me? I would truly be SURPRISED if I could go through it all over again. Before I leave I'll make sure to book Allie on the Maury Show. You just can't make shit like this up...or can you?