All Comments on 'Life on the Farm Ch. 01'

A wonderful story. I always like these brother / sister stories, especially when they are learning together. Will love reading more .

i saw your new post and decided to give you another shot after that debacle "Paradise Island". hopefully you won't put zombies on the farm. good characters - i like redheads - nice coming of age story. you desperately need an editor - or at least use Grammerly and spellcheck - there are numerous sloppy errors that detract from reading the story. But i'd try to build off this story. it has potential.

I liked the start to this story. I would to see more if you are so inclined. Thanks for your time and imagination. I will be reading more of your stories.

......so far. Looking forward to the next chapter.

A pretty good story, but needs to be fleshed out with more build-up. And for goodness sake, proof read it and clean up the mistakes. It detracts from the story.

Good start I cant wait for the next part

All brothers and sisters should experience such uninhabited sex.

The difference is in the details. You build a good story line, characters, narrative.

You've draw your readers' interest. The ride is going nicely. Then ...

Pothole after pothole. Little things like a missing letter, a missing word, grammar faults. My guess is that when you read your own work you are too hasty, too confident. Get a competent editor to proofread and catch your mistakes. They are there but you probably don't see them.

You seem to change from third person to first person half way through the first page. Nothing major but should be checked!!

I caught this on and edit after the fact. was a pain to change. I'm not sure I like the third person aspect. My last story I went with switching viewpoints and didn't like that.

Can't wait for the next EPISODE

Taking insprition from jkr?

While your story might have merit, I found it difficult to focus on your story due to the constant violations of English grammar. Don't capitalize words in the middle of a sentence unless they are proper nouns. Use a verb in every sentence. Don't use improper words which make no sense. (I suspect many are due to typos, but for God's sake, proofread.) I suggest you use an application like Grammarly to help you find many, but not all, of your mistakes.

Your readers want to be entertained, not frustrated.

Appalling writing. Unnecessary caps all over the place, crap like this, "her boob were nice sized", etc, etc, etc.

Please, make this your last submission.

Nah, just borrowed the names and well they are red heads so.. But thats as far as that goes.

English isn't my first language and can't help you myself but try to find an editor

because, there are a lot of grammer mistakes that can be fixed easily and make your story even better.

I hope the story had merit, but to be honest, I couldn’t finish your story due to the atrocious grammar. You change tense mid sentence, you shift perspective from third to first randomly, capitalization errors abound, and your punctuation needs massive help. Kudos for taking the time to try to write your story, but you need significant editorial help. Get this story fixed then resubmit it, and any others that you wrote without an editor. The grammar was so off putting that I will probably not read another of your submissions.

Beautiful and full of lust and love.

Can’t wait for the next chapter

Cincy: Really would have loved to have a sister, But -- these fantasies will do. I think well written and intimately set. I could see how this could evolve perfectly,

For you others, Once you hit a spot you do not like (grammar, punctuation), quit reading and move on.

Hope you continue.

Can’t wait for the next chapter.

An excellent premise, with a good execution. I recommend that you work with an editor to improve the grammar, spelling and general construction of the story for the next parts.