All Comments on 'Living Literotica'

by williepeter

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  • 64 Comments
Harryin VAHarryin VAover 2 years ago

Do you actually think this is a good well written story?

WetheNorthWetheNorthover 2 years ago
You have multiple Georges

Kind of confusing

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Yes, hubby, the snob should've left you alone, but hubby, for a former good soldier, you very stupidly, left the bastard alive, didn't you?

Once a cheater...always a cheater!

Rich bitch snob will just go somewhere to the other side of the country, start all over again, and start fucking other married women who work for the worthless SOB!

While he had the perfect rest aim shot lined up, hubby should've put a 45 caliber third new eye in the bastards forehead, a half inch or so above, and right between the useless cocksuckers two eyes he was born with! Would've stopped that shit from that mindless asshole, DEAD still!

He could've popped his cheating slut worlthess wife's head off, at the same time! Killed both bodyguards of the assholes as well, and cleaned house for the wife stealing, useless mother-fucker!

kelchakelchaover 2 years ago

No worries about wifey. Attractive whores make good money.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Wait a minute, isn’t George the narrator/MC and Roger the asshole/boss? Weird and sloppy.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

And then what is interesting in this story? The way he photographed the mountain house? You have shortened all the most interesting things in the phrase: "...but that's not my problem or concern."

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

The problem with the story is a lack of information. There was so much you could have and should have included. Too short.

Macboy1Macboy1over 2 years ago

If you’d taken the time to read your piece after you finished writing it, Rodger might not have turned into George. Quality comes from the detail.

Mac_LapuMac_Lapuover 2 years ago

Feels good at last to read some good story.

After those surprisingly wimpy attempts by Tnicoll, SaddleTramp1956, demander and other of my fave authors this xmas week only @williepeter came through for me.

Although this reads like an inside page news article but heck I'll take it.

mattenwmattenwover 2 years ago

To my liking, you have developed your good story far too little. A lot more emotions would have been possible. It developed far too quickly for me.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

you have written better stories

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

The story started with the husband being named George and the boss named Rodger and ended with both of them being named George.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Proof read your own story for gods sake! Roger became “my buddy George”?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Why wait so many months just to divorce. File assault charges and continue.

KalimaxosKalimaxosover 2 years ago

Thanks for the plug.

Free advertising is always welcome.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Simple story poorly told. At least read the damn thing before you post!

Dont_miss_meDont_miss_meover 2 years ago

You get five stars JUST for using a 1911 (God's side arm) in your story

sbrooks103xsbrooks103xover 2 years ago

"he smirked then told him it was me George" - Could someone please parse this sentence? "he . . . told him?"

someoneothersomeoneotherover 2 years ago

The plot has a lot of holes -- such as why would two goons beat George so bad that he would end up hospitalized for 2 weeks instead of first giving a warning. Assault and battery is just risky and creates problems. The grammar is terrible.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Started out well, but rushed ending ruined story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Juvenile crap

kirei8kirei8over 2 years ago

We're you having a few when you wrote this?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

01/03/22

Perusing the list of new stories. So far there's been at least 10 "I love sucking other guys cum out of my slut wife" stories. Just this one about a guy who won't take that ahit. I somehow don't think that's the real world average of men to pathetic faggots. Yeah, some proof reading would have been beneficial but I appreciate reading about a more realistic response to a cheating slut wife.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Absolutely bloody awful....

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I wondered about the low scores when I first clicked on, then I saw who the writer was and knew it would suck.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

He get beat so bad 2 weeks in hospital and doesn’t report it?

.

What a lousy tale.

.

2 *

FireFox59FireFox59over 2 years ago

At least this is better than all of the cuck crap being posted.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Wow!! 5 stories posted today and this is the only one rated above a 3.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Better than the other dreck today.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Garbled mess.

bribenkbribenkover 2 years ago

You changed the boss's name from Rodger to George mid-way thru.

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bcover 2 years ago

Other than a decent premise, there were no upsides to the shoddy writing. 2*

Legio_Patria_NostraLegio_Patria_Nostraover 2 years ago

'...and I had all the proper gun permits.' Permits? Plural? How sad. I have one permit. It begins with the words, "We The People..." written in noticeably larger script.

.

Your story is fun and interesting. However, it's too hastily written. It reads like a first-draft, and many things written as a single-line should have been expounded upon through one or more long, detailed paragraphs. I will give you kudos for eschewing the "usual" 10K-word back story that completely derails the plot. There needs to be a happy medium. And rushing through a decent story like this creates holes that need to be filled with coincidences and events that appear from nowhere. I mean, the guy has a mountain retreat but lives in an apartment that's apparently not in a secure complex or high-rise?

.

Have someone proofread it too. 3/5.

mainer42mainer42over 2 years ago

A bit too short and you got the names mixed but a good story, though too short

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Proofreading and editing issues aside . . . well, when I saw it was a "williepeter" story, I should've just hit the back button and saved a couple of minutes of jaw-dropping incredulity.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

George, Roger … it’s all the same in a dreary little story like this mess. Hahaha.

GrendelpuppyGrendelpuppyover 2 years ago

Yet another pointless, poorly written BTB story. What is truly horrifying is that many of the trolls of Loving Wives actually masterbated while reading this.

Huedogg2Huedogg2over 2 years ago

its funny, its juvenile crap, he's was having a few when he wrote this and of course the english and spelling police. All dislike any store where the whore's dropped on her ass. It seems like there's a very large membership of the cuckolds union.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

@Legio_Patria_Nostra. I would have thought that you would know that the Declaration of Independence does not define/explain/codify such things as firearm rights. That's the Constitution and, yes, gun regulation is permitted. If you're having a trouble with the distinction between the two documents, laws have to conform to the Constitution (hence, "Constitutional"), not the DoI. You're not one of those Sovereign Citizen nuts, are you? How sad.

/

Let's see how far that "I have one permit" gibberish gets you if it comes to that.

iameaseliameaselover 2 years ago

Word to the wise, you, like so many authors, seem to think writing an over the top totally disrespectful bitch of a wife will get the chest beaters so wound up (it does work some of the worst BTB stories really get their panties wadded up) that there is little effort to create a story that will do the same with decent, clever, original writing.

Everyone here wants to be a writer, some are, most just use bottom of the barrel cliches to do it, then get bitchy that people rate them so low.

This story is one of those. Now not every story has to be War and Peace, but they also should not feel like they were just thrown together (which is why so many cuck stories get shit on). Slow down, put some work into it, dont take the easy way through to the end, and then let the story do the emotional work on the reader.

Fatass47Fatass47over 2 years ago

What a piece of shit story. I totally wasted three minutes reading this grade school porn.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

*2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This might have gotten a higher rating but there wasn't a BTB!!! The Corp bastard got hell but the details weren't sufficiently detailed. The BITCH wasn't the recipient of a BTB either!!!! If you want to go BTB, go in details about the BTB!!!! BTW, there was NO LOVING WIFE in this story, so why did you put it that category???? If nothing else, this was about an unwilling cuckold! CUCKOLD IS A FETISH!!! FETISH IS A CATEGORY IN LITEROTICA!!!!!!!!!!! AGAIN, THERE WAS NO LOVING WIFE IN THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

It’s so funny when a BTB writer hits a stumbling block in the story they revert to the old…I have a friend who owns a surveillance store, or I was a navy seal so I knew how to handle this, or in this case, midway through the story it’s “I’m a photojournalist so I have contacts and I can do surveillance.” These stories are just sad that they try to do anything to make the woman look horrible and the man look like a saint. We all know that’s never the case. But whatever the pathetic group of men who lost their wives to better men who read these need to feel good about themselves.

JustOneMansOpinionJustOneMansOpinionover 2 years ago

OK, is it Rodger or George? Guess it doesn't matter right?

sf_operative63sf_operative63over 2 years ago

This needs a rewrite......

DOL

Freudzslip69Freudzslip69over 2 years ago

What a “non-story” story. A total waste of time.

FlynnTaggartFlynnTaggartover 2 years ago

3. I had some good ideas but there was almost no dialogue, it went by fast, and the revenge was kinda meh relying on tired tropes. Tropes aren't a bad thing but relying on them too much can hurt an already weak story, suddenly being connected and a former soldier hurt this already shaky story. The core of the story of the man already ready to leave his bitch wife and more angry at the humiliation by her boss rather then at her is quite good but this story definitely needs a rewrite to make it better.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Please try to keep track of your characters. You swapped your protagonist, George, with your villain at the end, despite the brevity of the tale.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

How did Rodger become George?

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

holy fuck that was dreadful. I wasn't sure she would come home, but she didn't come home? Switching character names? The friggin "she's 5'3 with 36C boobs..." you are goddamn awful

skruff101skruff101over 2 years ago

There are some very famous authors that were high as a kite when they wrote their best stuff Philip K Dick amount others, just because it worked for them doesn’t mean it works for the Literotica brigade. This is a fine example of writing after a bad hit of whatever nefarious substance was imbibed.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I think you best start again, at McDonalds or Subway as you're future shure ain't in writing stories. Read some of the other stories in here, they're really good with interesting personalities and dispicable villains. You can do better, hell, my mum could do better, God rest her soul. Lol.

DickSnugfitDickSnugfitover 2 years ago

SO Promising.. romps along, takes a run.. a hop.. skip.. and a jump into the air.. then disappears in it's own exhaust-port!

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

Sucks

BH54BH54almost 2 years ago

You messed up the names. George and Roger (also the spelling).

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

The author should keep the villain's names straight. First its ROGER and then later its GEORGE. Am I wrong?

moultonknobmoultonknobover 1 year ago

When did he change his name from Roger to George, what a load of bollocks

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Too little too late. Military and planning sucked

Alright_alright_alrightAlright_alright_alright4 months ago

Don't need permits to shot someone in your house.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Not terrible. Could have used some proof reading. Just a FYI - sob should have been capitalized.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 month ago

This was a great story especially when his first priority was not his cheating wife but the standards that he believed in, that most of us believe in. Thank you for sharing & writing it.

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userwilliepeter@williepeter
Retired engineer, retired on the coast. My writing background has been technical writing. The works of writers like saddletramp1956 and kalimaxos inspired me to give it a try. I enjoy comments from published authors, in most cases the comments are helpful. Anonymous comments...