Living Up to the Legacey

She relaxed her hold on me and I moved to the window, flaring out my fingers, adjusting them so I could catch the subtle pink in the light. "Mrs. Wilkins, what's wrong with me? Why am I like this?"

"Why would you think there's anything 'wrong' with you?" The way she said 'wrong' made me turn to look at her.

"Boys aren't supposed to like stuff like this." I put my hands up, fingers spread, showing the polish on my nails. "Or this." I tugged on my earlobes.

"Why not?" I just looked at her. "Does it hurt anybody? Is it illegal?" I shook my head no.

"Does it make you feel good about who you are?" That got a yes.

"And?" She raised an eyebrow.

"And it's not really anybody else's business, even my dad's."

"Except you want him to be proud of you and you're afraid he won't love you anymore if you aren't more like your brother, right?" I nodded yes again.

"Just my opinion, but I think what's wrong with you is, you are too hard on yourself. Give yourself the chance to find out who you really are, then worry about what people think. Nail polish comes off, you know?"

"How do I do that?" I couldn't help but wonder if my mom would have said the same things if she were here.

"You explore, you take chances, you grow, you learn, you keep what you like and get rid of what you don't. Don't be afraid to change your mind, either. Most of all, you don't let what other people might think decide for you. Their opinion of you is none of your business. What they think is their problem, not yours."

"It sounds a lot easier than it is, doesn't it?" I smiled at her.

"I didn't say it was easy, but I'm guessing your dad didn't raise you to 'do easy', did he?"

"No, he didn't." I chuckled. Somehow, her explanation and my admission combined to create an idea in the back of my head that my dad just might be ok with whatever it was I was going through.

"Thanks, Mrs. Wilkins." I smiled.

"Any time, Eric. Anytime. Now, let's go watch some football with the others." She hugged me again before leaving me standing by the windows.

"Right behind you." I took out my phone, looked up the number and hit dial.

"This is Stone," the familiar voice answered.

"Hey dad, it's Eric. Just calling to wish you a happy Thanksgiving."

"Not having roommate problems again, I hope?" What the fuck, my dad just cracked a joke.

"No, in fact, he invited me to come home with him for Thanksgiving. I'm in Kansas on a farm. We're heading back first thing in the morning. And, um, dad, no offense, but Thanksgiving at the officer's club sucks."

"I can't argue with that." He chuckled. "You know what they say. The one thing the military does well is mess stuff up. I guess that goes for turkey and dressing, too."

"But that's what they've got you for, right? To make sure they don't mess the wrong things up."

"I guess so." And it was back to normal.

We talked for a few more minutes. My dad was never one for idle chitchat. That he had made not one, but two jokes in a single conversation was mind blowing. He confirmed he was going to be in Europe for a few months. I assure him I'd be fine over the holiday and promised to keep my grades up and listen to my coach.

Just before we hung up, I said, "I love you, dad." I was sure he heard me, but there was no reply. Too much to expect, I guess. I was glad I called.

Plopping down on the sofa next to Hailey, I propped my bare feet up on the coffee table, admiring my fuchsia toes, thinking about how Ethan had said my hair 'suited' me and everything Mrs. Wilkins had told me.

"Hey girlfriend." Hailey hugged my arm and snuggled next to me. "If you need to talk, I'm here. You know that, right?"

Oddly, the way she said girlfriend made me smile. "Thanks. Who's winning?"

"Don't care. I just like being with my family and besides, watching Hank and dad get all worked up over a game they really don't care about is fun." Snuggling into the corner of the sofa, we just giggled and watched the show. She was right, it was fun.

"Do you really think I look like a girl?" I asked Hailey as we all headed upstairs to bed.

"Does it matter what I think? You said it yourself. You look just like your mom, and Eric, my mom showed me the picture. Your mom was beautiful. I guess it all comes down to what you want to do about it." She reached up and touched one of my earrings as she kissed me on the cheek and went into her room.

I stripped and got in the shower, letting the hot water and steam wash the stress from my body. Washing my hair, I used Hailey's conditioner. The soft floral scent seemed natural to my senses. Inhaling deeply, I picked up her body wash and scrubbed myself from head to toe. The rich vanilla aroma complimenting the soft floral smell of the conditioner perfectly.

My hair had just started to grow back, so I used her razor to shave. Starting with my chest, I worked my way down to my toes, saving my crotch for last.

"I left something for you, if you want it." Hailey knocked on the shower door. The Jack and Jill configuration of her and Hank's bedrooms meant she had easy access. I rinsed the conditioner from my hair and spent a few moments enjoying the feeling of the water sheeting across my hairless body before I got out of the shower and grabbed my towel.

Drying off, I wrapped my hair in the towel and saw what she had left me. There on the vanity next to my boxers and t-shirt were a short satin nightgown and a pair of panties.

I could feel myself sliding further and further down the slippery slope. There was really no decision to make any more. I slipped the panties up my legs and tucked my stuff away, took the towel from my hair, put my hair in a ponytail, and slid the nightgown on.

Hank was already in bed when I left the bathroom. I could feel him watching me as I moved across the room. The dim light of the full moon streamed in the window, painting a path across the floor to my suitcase. Grinning to myself, I bent at the waist, showing off my ass, taking my time as I tucked my boxers and t-shirt into my suitcase.

Hank moved restlessly as I climbed the ladder to slip into the top bunk. I laid there in the darkness, running my hands over my chest and stomach, relishing the feeling of the satin against my skin, listening to the soft sounds emanating from the bunk below me as Hank tried to get comfortable again.

It made me a little giddy that I had made him that restless. His soft moans confirmed what I suspected. He was masturbating. My friend, my roommate, was jacking off to images of me in that sexy nightie. I smiled and drifted off to sleep.

Hank was already downstairs when I woke up. He had stripped the sheets from his bed and taken his suitcase. I took the hint and climbed out of bed, stripping the sheets from my top bunk and taking them to the laundry hamper in the bathroom.

"You look cute." Hailey was brushing her teeth at her vanity when I entered the bathroom.

"Thanks. They feel nice." I could feel myself blush.

"I have a few more things you can have if you want them." She smiled at me.

"Hailey, you seem to want me to dress like this, maybe more than I do myself." It was more of a question than a statement. What happened next shook me to my core.

"I like you a lot." She stepped toward me. "And I like girls a little more than I do guys." Hailey put her hands on my cheeks and kissed me, the fresh, minty flavor of her toothpaste filling my senses.

My toes curled and my body shook. The most beautiful girl I had ever seen wanted me, wanted me as a girl. Her tongue slipped into my mouth as her hands found the back of my head and held my lips to hers. I tried to deny my feelings, but the kiss was so sensual, the feelings so powerful. I was helpless against them.

Our lips parted, and she left me standing there, stunned, confused, speechless. "I already put them in your suitcase."

Fuck, Hank was masturbating to me in a skimpy nightgown and Hailey wanted me as her lesbian lover. My cock surged, filling the panties I was still wearing with cum. I cleaned up the mess, rinsing them in warm water and brushed my teeth. Slipping the nightgown over my head, I opened my suitcase to see what Hailey had left for me.

More practical than sexy, I found two eight packs of simple cotton bikini panties, unopened. One pack was all white, the other a mix of pretty pastels. I chose the white. Next to the panties was a pair of jeans I hadn't seen before. The tag said they were a size four. I didn't know exactly what that meant, but I knew Hailey and I were about the same size and her panties had fit, so I slipped them on.

It took a little effort, but they stretched just enough that with a little creative tucking, I got them zipped and buttoned.

Under the jeans, I found four bras. Plain white with just a touch of lace, each with a little bow right in the middle between the petite cups, size 34 AA. None of this was a re-gift. Somehow, Hailey, or her mom, had bought all of this just for me.

"It takes practice." Hailey came up behind me, fastening the hooks on my bra. She had known I would wear it all. I smiled. "I brought you some cute boots to wear, too. They're a little big for me. Maybe they'll fit you."

The t-shirts she had bought for me were all small instead of my normal mediums and fit snugly, showing my bra straps, but I didn't care. I was excited and relaxed at the same time. Kind of like how I felt before getting on a roller coaster. I knew I was going to enjoy the ride, but also had a slight fear of heights. That always seemed to make it that much more exciting. It was the same with this. I knew I wanted it, but it came with its own special kind of fear.

The boots were cute. Simple leather ankle boots with a short, wide heels, two, maybe three inches, a tassel down the outside and a zipper up the inside. I took a breath, dug some ankle socks out of my suitcase, and slipped them on. They fit too well for this to be an accident.

Hailey's smile was bigger than mine. I felt so right. The butterflies were still screaming in my stomach, but I knew. This was me. This was one roller coaster I wanted to ride again and again.

Mrs. Wilkins just smiled at Hailey and me when we got to the kitchen. Mr. Wilkins did a double take, but then smiled at me, too. Hank got up and mumbled something about loading the car, grabbed my suitcase, and left the room. I was pretty sure he didn't know what to make of what he had done last night and seeing me in skin-tight jeans with my bra straps showing through an equally tight t-shirt, didn't help.

The drive home was awkward. Hank was too distracted to drive, so I took over. Hailey sat next to me up front while Hank fought demons alone in the back seat.

Lunch was a drive through somewhere just north of the Texas border and dinner was our favorite pizza place just off campus. I got a less passionate kiss from Hailey when we dropped her off at her dorm and a cold shoulder from Hank the rest of the evening.

Evidently, Hailey and whomever had conspired with her had been confident of their mission, because they had done more than just add a few things to my suitcase. They had replaced all four pairs of my old jeans. To be fair, it was beyond time. They were all at least four years old. The same was true with my old t-shirts. They had unpacked my entire suitcase and repacked it with feminine versions of the same thing. I still had the clothes I hadn't taken to Kansas, but was quickly deciding they would not get used very much anymore.

Hank avoided me for three days before I finally cornered him in our room. He had been getting up before me and somehow managing to only come back to the room after I was already asleep. Tonight, I waited.

It had been quick and brutal. He had tried to push past me to leave again, and I had taken him down before he knew what happened. I'm sure it would have looked funny to any casual passersby, a petite blonde girl with a 6' 5" guy pinned to the floor, begging her to let him go. His left shoulder was going to be sore for a few days, but dammit, he was going to talk to me.

"Not until you talk to me, Hank. We're supposed to be friends."

"Ok, ok. Just let me up." I let him up and he sat on his bed, still not looking at me. "It's just that I'm not supposed to feel this way." He looked at me like his soul was being torn apart.

"Like what?" I sat next to him and took his hand.

For the second time, I got kissed by a Wilkins, and kissed hard. It was different than with Hailey. Her kiss had been sensuous, soft, almost delicate. Hanks was powerful, filled with lust and desire. I melted into his arms. It felt so good to be wanted like this.

We fell back onto his bed, lost in the passion of the moment. My mind was a blur of mixed emotions. I had never thought of being with a guy before, yet here I was sucking Hank's tongue into my mouth while my hands explored his muscular back, holding him close and relishing the feeling of his warm body so close to mine.

So small, so delicate, so fragile, I felt as if he could break me in two with a thought. Hank's hands explored my body, running up and down my sides, roaming gently across my chest. He pinched my nipples through my bra, eliciting a gasp, followed by a deep moan. When he lifted himself and put his knee between my legs, I opened them, inviting him to dominate me. Pressing his crotch to mine, he dry-humped me, his cock huge against my crotch.

I let him use me for his pleasure, soaking up this moans and grunts as he rubbed furiously. My cock still neatly tucked away but struggling to be free, I wondered what it would feel like if I truly were a girl, what it would feel like if I let him inside me.

His body clenched and then shuddered and shook. Collapsing next to me. Kissing me once more, gently, sweetly, he pulled me to him, nestling me under his arm.

"I'm not supposed to feel like this." Almost a whisper, he said it again.

I slipped my hand into his pants, dipping my fingers into the mess he had made, brought it to my lips and tasted him. I knew exactly how he felt.

I awoke in his arms, fully dressed in the clothes I had been wearing with him spooning behind me, holding me close. I lay there quietly in my little cocoon, listening to his deep breaths, smiling at the clock across the room telling me I had missed my first class. It was worth it.

"Hey." Hank lifted himself up on one elbow.

"Hey yourself." I turned onto my back, looking up at him. Sometime in the night, Hank had gotten up and cleaned himself off. He wasn't wearing anything but a clean pair of boxers. I ran my hand through the hair on his chest and smiled. "How's your shoulder?"

"Sore." He laughed. "Remind me never to piss you off again." His face got serious. "We do need to talk about this."

"I know, but this is kind of nice, right?" He just looked at me.

"Yeah, and that's the problem. Part of me wants you so bad I can taste it. The other part of me can't get over that you're a guy.

"I feel the same way. It blows me away that I let you kiss me." I smiled up at him.

"What, you mean like this?" He lowered his lips to mine.

"Oh, fuck." I moaned when he pulled away. "Make up your mind. Please. Before I do something stupid." I laughed.

"Like what?" His eyes sparkled as he teased me.

"Well, you're practically naked and I can feel you pressing into my thigh. As nice as this is, I don't think I'm ready to go any further. Go get dressed and let's go see if they're still serving breakfast."

They weren't, so we walked over to the campus coffee shop and ordered some pastries with our coffee.

We did finally talk. Hank was as conflicted as I was. We both admitted what we had done was nice, and that we had enjoyed it. I even admitted to tasting him, which got an interesting response. Back and forth, we discussed the pros and cons, what we felt and what we were afraid of, ultimately deciding that being roommates was going to have to be enough. I also agreed not to put him any more arm locks and that the skimpy nightgown Hailey had given me would stay in the bottom of my underwear drawer for now.

It wasn't my place to tell him his sister was bi, and it was none of his business that she had practically sucked my tonsils from my throat before we left Kansas. The last thing I wanted was to be in a position where I had to choose between my two best friends that were also brother and sister.

I still wasn't sure I knew where my personal journey was leading me. Did I want to be a girl, or did I just want to wear the clothes? Did I like boys or girls or both? Everything was changing so fast.

Over the next few weeks, Hailey and I spent more and more time together doing things like getting our nails done or going to the day spa near campus to get waxed. Sometimes we would drive over to the outlet mall and window shop, often coming back with a bunch of stuff we shouldn't have bought. It was too cute to pass up, or it was on sale. I was going to have to call my dad for an advance on my allowance if we kept it up.

She was always touching me and hugging me, and I returned the attention, always stopping short of letting her kiss me again. I told her the same things I had told Hank, and she seemed to understand.

Things got a little interesting when her mom and dad invited me to join them in the Florida Keys for Christmas break. We'd go home to the farm for Christmas and leave for Florida the day after.

Everything up to this point had been the long, slow climb to the top of that first drop on a rollercoaster. I had bought my ticket when I stopped getting my hair cut and climbed on the ride when I met Hank and Hailey and subconsciously started emulating Hailey.

Even Thanksgiving with getting my ears pierced and my nails done for the first time was just preparation for what happened next. Sure, Hailey probably hurried things along a bit, as did Hank with his attention, but as we made the drive to Kansas after finals, I realized I had always been destined for this.

Eric was just the name on my driver's license. It was what my father and my brother called me. It was the name on my college registration. Nothing more. Hailey, Hank and my friends had called me Erica starting about out two weeks ago. I took to it like a fish to water.

Mrs. Wilkins insisted I call her Mary, and Mr. Wilkins asked me to call him Henry. Hank was actually Jr. I called him that once and got tossed into a snowbank for my trouble.

People were in and out of the farm every day, visiting, exchanging gifts with The Wilkins, or just stopping by to visit for a while. Just like Thanksgiving, I was in a different world. Moving all around the world with my dad and brother, we never had the chance to make friends like they had. It was almost overwhelming.

One of Mary's friends sold Avon or Mary K or something and offered to teach me the basics of doing makeup when she noticed I wasn't wearing any. Hailey quickly convinced her to give us both makeovers. I was so far past the point of no return; I jumped at the opportunity.

Mary joined us and it became a party. Three hours later, I was a pro at doing it myself. Mrs. Baker, or Bev, as she now insisted I call her, had done my makeup the first time and then patiently taught me and guided me until I could do it myself. I then got to practice doing Hailey's and Mary's. Bev even let me do hers. When we were done, I wanted to buy everything she had. She picked out a collection she promised would be good enough to get me started and promised to put me in touch with someone near school that could work with me to get the rest as I needed it.

With all the shopping Hailey and I had done, and with the gifts I had bought for the Wilkins since we got here, I knew it was going to be close and my dad wouldn't make his deposit until after the new year. With him, there were few exceptions, so I checked my bank balance. I couldn't believe what I saw.