Living Up to the Legacey

Cleaning and reapplying my forms, I slipped on my red bikini, smiling at how it just covered my new breasts, slipped a coverup around my waist, and went downstairs to see what the new year held in store.

"Well, look at you." Mary's bright voice called to me from the kitchen when I reached the bottom of the stairs. I went to join her as she cleaned up from breakfast, eating a bowl of cereal while we chatted.

"I found them in a store on Duval Street yesterday. I thought if I was going to make Erica permanent, they would be a good first step, and the adhesive is waterproof." I pushed my chest out so she could see them better.

"That's a big decision." She gave me a sideways glance.

"I know. I've just been thinking about it a lot, especially since Thanksgiving. Everybody knows this is who I am. I've just been avoiding it because of my dad. I just decided I don't want to be afraid anymore, not of him, and not of myself. That talk we had really helped me figure things out."

"Glad I could help. And you know, if you ever need anything, we are all here for you." She wrapped me in a big hug and kissed me on the top of my head.

The next two weeks before we were to head home were more of the same. We hung out at the beach, went snorkeling, Henry chartered the sailboat again, and I got an incredible bikini tan. So did Hailey. Everybody loved my new boobs, especially Hank. Our little threesome continued every few nights with me in the middle. Each time we got together, it became more and more obvious that Hailey was the extra party.

We both knew it was coming, and neither of us intentionally did anything to prevent it or to encourage it, but the simple fact was, we never woke up in each other's arms. We went for a long walk on the beach, agreeing we were more sisters than girlfriends, and it would be best if we kept it that way. Perhaps with occasional benefits, but we'd have to see about that. Besides, seeing her hunk of a brother naked, and witnessing what he did to me, reminded her that maybe she might like boys more if she found the right one.

My personal little roller coaster took another vicious turn when I moved back into the dorm. The same guys that had watched me slowly feminize myself, the same guys that had been calling me Erica since Thanksgiving, were now disturbed by my modest breast forms. I would have understood if they were the comical DDs, I read about in some online trans porn I had seen, but they were simple B cup forms, enhancers they were called.

But that was the tipping point. It wasn't the makeup or my earrings; it wasn't the occasional skirt or the bras I had been wearing every day; it was tits so modest; you couldn't even tell I had them on most of the time.

The worst part was, they never even talked to me. They went straight to the housing office and the dean of student affairs. I never begged in my life, but it took everything I had to get them not to call my dad and have him come down to help deal with the situation. That battle I hadn't even begun to think about how to fight.

It was Hailey that saved the day. Without telling me, she did her research and reached out to the dean and suggested something brilliant in its simplicity.

According to official school policy, all I had to do was officially declare myself as being transgender and find a girl willing to be my roommate, and I could move into the girl's dorm.

A girl in her dorm had gotten pregnant and moved back home. She had talked to her roommate and the roommate of the girl that had left and they were already friends, so it was an easy decision; they would room together, and I would move in with Hailey.

Hank was the lone dissenter. He liked us sleeping together and while I did too, I would quickly learn that it's nice to be dated. Hank had to call me and ask me out. He had to pursue me a little, not too hard, mind you, but a little, and it was nice. Having sex was more complicated, but boys and girls in college have been figuring that out for a long time. We both discovered that the separation and the extra effort made it better in some ways.

My talk with coach K was probably the most difficult. Since I had officially changed my gender, I could no longer run on the men's team and since I hadn't started hormones and my testosterone levels were outside the designated range, I couldn't run with the girls either. I was effectively off the team. That my dad would notice.

I could feel the rollercoaster begin its long slow climb to that one last big drop, and it was going to be the big one.

Living with Hailey in the girl's dorm was the last piece of the puzzle. I seemed to just melt into the world of girls. They all knew who and what I was, but with few exceptions, they saw me as just another girl. We talked and shared clothes; we hung out and painted each other's nails and did makeovers; we laughed and giggled at silly rom-coms on the TV in the common room, and boys, well, I was right there with them. One or two admitted they were jealous that I had gotten Hank.

The school had mandated counseling, which went very well. I not only talked about my transition, but about my dad, and Ethan, and especially my mom. Even my therapist thought I looked exactly like her.

Hailey and I slept together occasionally, and it was even better than it had been in Florida with Hank. Getting to focus just on her, getting to delve into the wonders of her delicious body, it was wonderful. And, for the first time, I had sex with a girl; with my penis. I told Hank, and he wasn't overly upset. Probably because it was Hailey, and I rocked his world right after reminding him who I had chosen.

For Valentine's Day, Hank and I double dated with Hailey and a guy from the track team. Marcus was a distance runner and a true Olympic hopeful. He had taken over for me as Hailey's running partner when I left the team. I was obvious to me that there was more than just running between the two of them. When Hailey didn't come home for two nights in a row after the Valentine's Day date, I knew I was right.

"I like the new you." Hank rubbed my back as I laid next to him, enjoying the afterglow of a marathon session of lust and debauchery.

"What do you mean, new me?" I ran my hand over his chest, tweaking his nipple and smiling at him.

"Ever since you moved in with Hailey, you're just more relaxed or something."

"I feel it too. It's kind of like I'm not pretending anymore, it's just who I am now. Erica, a girl, I mean. My therapist wants me to see a doctor about starting hormones, and to discuss surgeries and stuff. I think I want to."

"Then I think you should." Hank pulled my lips to his and kissed me long and hard.

"You just want real boobs to play with." I tickled him and pulled away.

"Well, I certainly wouldn't complain." He grabbed me and flipped me over, laying on top of me, locking his eyes onto mine. The tone of his voice changed. "I'd love you either way." I could see the sincerity in his eyes.

Pulling my knees to my chest, I let him inside me one more time. Like the first time, this was different, special. Beyond just the physical act, this was a joining of souls and spirits, this was the melding of two into one, it was the admission to the universe that this is where and what I was meant to be. "I love you, too." I moaned as he came inside me.

For spring break, the four of us rented a beach house from coach and Dr. K. She told me it was where she got the inspiration for her 'Tales from the Sands of Time'. Sitting on the deck watching the sunset, it was easy to see how someone could find inspiration here.

We played in the surf. Hank and Marcus wandered down the beach a bit to join in some beach volleyball, while Hailey and I laid out working on our tans. We chilled on the deck and just hung out. I could hear Hailey and Marcus in their room at night, and it sounded like she had found the guy she had been looking for. Her screams and moans were as loud as mine.

On our last day at the beach, my phone woke me up. I recognized the ringtone immediately. I assigned it to only one number, and this was the first time in a long time I had heard it go off.

"Dad?" I slipped out of bed, leaving Hank in the dim light of the early dawn. "Is something wrong? Is Ethan OK?"

"Relax, Eric. Everything is fine. I've sent you a ticket to come see me in Switzerland when your semester ends. Ethan will be here, too. He gets three weeks. The three of us need to talk about a few things."

"Dad. Just tell me what's going on. You know I'll just worry if you don't."

"You even sound like your mom, you know that? That's one thing we need to talk about. Ethan showed me the picture. You're just as beautiful as she was. I'm retiring. I met someone I want to be with, and I want you and your brother to meet her. Maybe give me your blessings. That's all."

"I wondered what had changed. You sounded happy the last time we talked. If she makes you happy, I love her already." I laughed.

"Thanks, and Eric. No secrets, OK? Just come as you are. I probably know more than you think. I love you regardless. See you in June." He hung up. I couldn't have answered if I had had to.

Hank found me sitting on the floor, staring at my phone, crying my eyes out. My dad knew about Erica. But how?

Boarding an international flight with a passport that doesn't match the gender you present is interesting, but not as complicated as I thought it would be. Evidently, it was getting more and more common, and the gate security didn't freak out as much as they probably used to. It probably helped that I had Ethan with me, dressed in his uniform.

I hadn't gone overboard. I had my hair in a nice tight ponytail, my makeup was light, and my earrings simple dangles. My jeans and my t-shirt were probably a little tight, and my modest breasts were obvious. My boots came up just below my knees. I loved the click of my heels on the floor.

The hormones were doing their job and while my breasts were sore and small buds growing under my nipples, my forms were still part of my daily routine and helped with the tenderness if something accidentally poked my in the chest.

When Ethan saw me for the first time, he just smiled. "Well, look at you." The hug was nice.

"You don't seem surprised."

"Not too much. I mean, the picture you sent me, I saw the earrings, and to be honest, you've always been a little feminine. So, Eric-a?"

"Yeah. That's what my friends and my boyfriend have been calling me." I froze when I realized what I had just said.

"Boyfriend, huh? That I did not expect. But I can see why. You are beautiful. I'm sure lots of guys would love to date you, probably a few girls, too." My face was crimson.

"I didn't really see it either until it happened. I still like girls, but boys are definitely on the list. Especially this one. Kind of reminds me of my big brother." I grinned and hugged his arm as we went to find our flight to Switzerland.

I told him what dad had said and thanked him for sending the picture, admitting that if he'd asked me, I would have begged him not to. The flight to Geneva was ten hours and overnight. We talked about dad retiring, both wondering what a man like him might do without the military. We speculated about this mystery woman that he was going to introduce us to. I told him about Hank and Hailey and the farm in Kansas. He showed me a picture of a very cute girl that he had met that might have some potential.

"You're really not worried about what dad's going to say?" Ethan took my hand after the flight attendant cleared our dinner. Yeah, our dad had sprung for first class.

"I'd be lying if I said no, but he told me to come as I am and said he probably knew more than I thought he did. Besides, I don't think I can put this genie back in the bottle. He accepts it, or he doesn't. This is who I am now. I'll deal with it either way. So will he."

Ethan had to wake me up when we landed in Geneva. He already had my bag from the overhead and was ready to deplane. Getting through customs was easy. Again, it helped that I was with Ethan. It was only when we got on the escalator to the baggage claim that I got nervous. I hadn't seen my dad in two-and-a-half years. I was literally a completely different person and from our past few conversations, so was he. All my old insecurities and doubt surfaced. When I saw him, I was trembling.

"Just breathe. It's going to be ok." Ethan sensed it, placing his hand in the middle of my back, shoving me gently.

There was a tall, absolutely stunning blonde standing next to him. She looked as nervous as I felt.

"Ethan, Erica, this is my fiancé, Anna." Shit, my dad looked nervous, too. Wait, a minute. Did he just call me Erica?

"Nice to meet you." I stepped forward first, offering her my hand. She smiled and shook it. Ethan didn't say a word. He shook her hand and looked at dad.

"Dad." I looked up at him. There were tears welling behind his eyes.

Wrapping me in an enormous hug, he whispered in my ear, "you and I have so much to talk about." Who was this man, and what had he done with my dad?

Anna took my dad's hand, and I placed my hand on Ethan's back. "Just breathe. It's going to be ok." I laughed, and he shook his head.

"I just don't know how to deal with this." He looked down at me.

"Ok. I'm confused. Your brother turning into your sister, you can handle, but dad being happy is freaking you out? Help me here."

"One's a bigger stretch than the other. How are you doing it?"

"Just one step at a time, big brother, one step at a time. She makes dad happy. Neither one of us has ever seen him like this. I just imagine that this is how mom made him feel. It helps."

"Damn, sexy and smart. How do beat the boys off?"

He laughed. I could sense him relaxing.

"I have a huge stick and I know how to use it. His name's Hank." We caught up with dad and Anna and loaded our bags into the Range Rover. Ethan rode up front with dad and I sat in the back with Anna. She wanted to know all about how Eric became Erica. Evidently, my dad did know a lot more than I suspected.

It took a few days, but my dad finally asked me to join him in his office. Just the two of us.

"You don't remember any of this and that's ok." He had me sit in his chair as he slid a USB drive into his computer. Video after video, picture after picture. Two little kids, one a cute blonde boy with short hair, the other a pretty, red-haired girl in frilly dresses. Hunting Easter Eggs, dressed in their Sunday best for church, sitting on their parents' lap. It was Ethan and me.

I looked at him, confused.

"Ever since you were little. Ever since you could talk, you wanted to be a girl. You didn't understand why you were the way you were, and your mother and I let you dress however you wanted." He reached out and took my hand.

"Not long before your mother got sick, we had to sit you down and have a long talk with you about boys and girls. We talked about how you were special. We also talked to you about how others wouldn't understand and how the school you were going to be going to wouldn't let you wear your pretty dresses. I think you took that harder than when your mom got sick." He was trying not to cry.

"When your mom got sick, she insisted we tell you and your brother the truth, so we did. We all cried and then I took you and Ethan for ice cream, telling you how you needed to be strong, for each other, for your mom, for me. 'Ok, daddy.' It was like there was no other answer. You were always the strong one, you know that?"

He smiled at me through his tears. "You just nodded and asked me to take you to get your hair cut like mine and Ethan's. We left the barbershop and went back to see your mom. That's when we took that picture of the four of us. Your mom was so proud of you. She loved both of you so much, but especially you, her little girl, her Erica."

It all came rushing back. The memories were overwhelming. Tears streamed down my face. "You always knew, Ethan, too?"

He nodded. "Ethan and I talked about it often, wondering when you were going to come back. When you called him, he called me and sent me the picture. I knew your mom had always been right. You were her little girl, my little girl. You just had to find yourself again."

We sat there and watched the rest of the videos in silence, our tears replaced by the happiness and joy they showed.

"Anna said to come get you two for dinner." Ethan found us, me sitting on my dad's lap, both of us laughing at two little kids in the cutest Halloween costumes ever, The Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood. Red Riding Hood was chasing the Big Bad Wolf with a stick, her long red hair flowing behind her as she yelled at him to stay out of her candy.

"Just one more thing." My dad opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out two faded envelopes, handing one to me and the other to Ethan.

"My dearest Erica..." it began. It was a letter from my mom. She called me Erica, and I understood why he had waited so long to deliver it to me. I read it slowly, three times.

It ended,

"... Always be true to yourself.

I love you,

Mom."

I don't know what Ethan's letter said, and I didn't ask, just like he didn't ask about mine.

All those years, I had been trying to be what I thought someone else wanted me to be.

I had been trying to live up to a legacy.

It was just the wrong one.

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Author's note:

I know, I know. So many unanswered questions. But honestly, this is Erica's story of self-discovery. Any kind of epilogue would diminish from her moment of truth. Maybe when I stop crying, I'll write another chapter.

Thanks for reading and please leave me a comment.