All Comments on 'Long RIDE Home'

Excellent story! Fast paced and exciting, with many good twists. I didn't just read the story on my computer screen, I felt it, I was there. Thanks and I am looking forward to chapter TWO :)

Firstly I would like to say how much I enjoyed the story, especially the bit at the end with the red head. Secondly I would have scored it higher if for a few minor points.

Grammatically it was fine although on a few occasions I felt like it would have flowed easier if the sentence structure had been different. Also I find the english language has enough words in it to describe something without resorting to the use of numbers. For me personally I find this grates on the fluidity of the paragraph. Try and find other words to describe her breasts or her figure. Near the beginning you said she was Cuban which is fine but then a few sentences later you used the word again. Why? I already know she is cuban. The last thing I found was your use of tense, please becareful, you used is instead of was which knocked the sentence out of line.

I hope you don't take what I have said the wrong way your story was otherwise good.

Great story, nice opening for a future red head story as well!

Sensualwhispers. Definitely constructive criticism that will help me improve and I very much appreciate it! I've only skimmed through as its 3am but I'll definitely read through and have your advice in mind for the next one I write.

Thanks again!!!