Looking for a Husband

"I'm so glad we found each other. You're a dreamboat. Tell me about your gay experiences," he implored, "I'd love to hear how you got here in life."

I snuggled close into the masculine warmth of his body, rubbing my face into his and then a kiss. His manly rough mouth and beard imparted his masculinity upon my feminine nature and sensitivity. Softly I related to Martin:

"Well," I started, and I knew exactly where to start, "......my best friend in school and I were kind of geeky. We both went out with girls but we never got lucky. Maybe got to feel up their breasts through their blouse and bra, actually got to feel the bare flesh of their titties a time or two. One girl I really liked was nice enough to give me a few hand jobs. She was fully clothed and I was only unzipped with my shirt pulled up. Mikey's mom worked Saturdays and would not be home till five or six and he had an older brother who worked till late afternoon. He had no dad around the house.

Sometimes mom would let me spend the night, other times I would just go over there Saturday mornings. We were both so naïve and geeky his mom and my parents never worried about us. One time on a Saturday morning after I had spent the night and we had been messing around with games and such like boys do. Mikey and I would sometimes look at girlie magazines of his brother's. Seeing naked women was such forbidden fruit and more than a few times we would watch each other jack off as we looked at the magazines."

"One time we had our penises out and were jacking off he said 'hey, let's go shave.' I thought he meant shave our faces as I followed him into the bathroom there in the basement where we were. He peeled off his tee shirt and stepped out of his gym shorts. His cock was so hard, as was mine. I followed his lead and was soon naked with him. He pulled out an electric trimmer of his brother and carefully shaved off as much of his pubes as he could get and handed it to me. As I shaved off my pubes Mikey was filling the sink with warm water. After trimming it as close as I could with the electric trimmer, by that time Mikey had lathered up with his brother's shaving cream and had started shaving closer with a razor.

The whole thing happened so fast and by the time we were done and toweling off our erections were returning. We were both naked and shaved smooth when Mikey reached over and touched my bare hairless penis and lifted my hand to touch his. I'm not sure I had ever been harder or more excited in my life as we pulled on each other's penises. It was so erotic I thought I would explode, being naked with shaved penises playing with each other's penis."

"Mikey said nothing and led me by the hand to his bedroom. Going to his dresser he fished around in the back of a drawer and produced two pairs of simple cotton panties, one light pink, the other white with tiny flowers. His older sister Andrea was in college but still had clothes in the house. We each pulled on a pair of panties and by this time we were both so hard and our heads were spinning. Reaching under his mattress he pulled a porn magazine out as we then lay on the bed.

This was a naughty porn magazine as we looked at it together taking turns rubbing each other through the panties. As I gawked at the magazine, I realized there were no naked women in the pictures, it was all naked boys. The boys were all shaved smooth with hairless cocks and balls like Mikey and I now were. Sometimes two boys together, other picture spreads of three, four or more naked boys in various acts of kissing or sucking each other's cocks.

I was so aroused from the stimulation of these highly taboo pictures, from me wearing his sister's panties, the tingling of my hard, shaved penis and Mikey touching me through the soft panties I thought I would faint. Mikey and I started to embrace and kiss. We couldn't help ourselves, it just felt so right, so natural. We felt sexy. It was like we were possessed with a sexual passion we had yet to experience. Kissing him, holding him, playing with each other's penis through the panties was an intoxicating new carnal stimulation that sent shock waves of arousal through us.

When Mikey reached his face over, pulled down the panties and put my cock in his mouth I had never felt anything so wonderful in my life. Needing to find out for myself what it was like I swung around and did the same to him pulling down his panties, and finding his cock with my mouth as we proceeded to sixty-nine each other. We pleasured each other like this for the longest time before finally disengaging and laying back on the pillows and masturbating ourselves. We were breathless when we both finally came."

"Go on. Tell me more. I love hearing this," Martin whispered to me as he nuzzled my neck and softly kissed my ear as he continued to hold me tight.

It was thrilling telling him all these details, I'm not sure I had ever told anyone about this and had buried it deep in my mind all these things that had happened. I wondered if I should tell him how much I masturbated through high school, through college, through the entirety of my marriage to Susie. Certainly, I had never put into words what Martin was hearing.

"From there till the end of the summer whenever possible I would get together with Mikey on Saturday mornings and his mom and brother were out of the house. I would usually make it home by one o'clock but the things we did with each other must really have had an influence on my life and sexuality. Most boys didn't do things together like Mikey and did. We both masturbated a great deal when we were at our own homes. Sure, boys experiment sexually with each other, but probably not like we did.

Mikey took clothing from his sister's room and our sex play involved more than just wearing his sister's panties and sucking each other's cock. Wearing a dress or a satin camisole in a pair of silky panties made me feel alive, it was so taboo but the most exciting thing I had ever felt. We'd wear lipstick and eyeshadow and strut around in some of Andrea's heels.

Our cocks were always so hard. We'd shave our penises smooth nearly every Saturday. Most times we'd cum twice during our play sessions in lingerie looking at girlie magazines and the naked boys in the gay magazine. One day Mikey asked me to fuck him like the boys in the magazine. I tried but he said it hurt too much so I lay back and let him try it on me. All I had on was cute cotton demi bra of his sister's and a pair of her high heels. He used some Vaseline and his penis slid in much easier than when I tried with him.

Both our cocks were so hard from the naughtiness of it all. As Mikey fucked me, I could not believe how good it felt both up my butt and my penis. I was jacking off and moaning and Mikey started cumming inside me and I came too. He only ever fucked me one other time was when I spent the night and snuck into bed with him."

"When school started, we were busy and only played with each other one last time when a girl came on to me and started being really friendly. Mikey and I tried to bury the fact of what we had done with each other and certainly did not want anyone thinking we were gay. It was our naughty secret. When this girl and I started dating that was exciting too. Getting to kiss her and feel and see her naked titties and kiss them was a wonderful experience as was when she gave me a hand job. Her feminine hand on my penis was pretty sweet. She never let me screw her but the next year in school another girl did. It felt good and I was getting surer of myself around females and pretty much buried in the back of my mind the things I did with Mikey."

"In college I dated this wild girl before I met Susie. Cassandra, Cassie was her name. She was a go getter and she chased guys then moved on to one after another, so I was one of her conquests. Long, straight dark hair, she was very slender with a tiny butt and petite little breasts. She always spoke her mind and sometimes that would cut into me the things she would say, little digs about this or that. These things would always let you know she had the upper hand to keep you in your place.

We were in bed one afternoon; I was naked and she was in just a pair of her panties. Her titties were so soft and sweet. She was giving me a hand job as she let me touch her little titties. She was always in charge and even when we were naked together or spent the night together, she would not let me screw her every time. I tried to get her panties off but she said "not today". The hand job felt great especially as she was letting me feel up her titties. Guess I pressed my luck when I tried to get her panties off again and was rebuked with a sharp "NO!".

"The mood was kind of ruined though I was still pretty hard with her hand on my cock. She then pulled off her panties and started rubbing my cock with them. With my past experiences' years ago with Mikey and panties I have to admit it felt pretty good as she did that. 'You like this, don't you?' she smirked. When she opened the panties and pulled them up on me, I was going crazy with arousal the way it felt with her hand rubbing my cock through the panties. Being in panties again after all those years was opening the floodgates of naughty sensations and naughty memories.

Cassie reached in the panties and masturbated me as I played with her soft pretty titties. She'd given me hand jobs before but we both could tell none had been as exciting as this one. She was really getting into it, being verbal saying things like "this is so hot, I knew you'd like it" "you look cute in panties, you have to love them" "you are very pretty for a boy, I bet you'd look good with lipstick on", and as she played with my nipples "doesn't this feel good? Should we put you in a bra too?".

"Hearing her say these things ignited my arousal. Cassie was so in charge, it emasculated me being in her panties and all the forbidden things she was telling me. It scared me that I enjoyed it so much and that yes, I so wanted her to put a bra on me and lipstick as well. She made me feel feminine and though it scared me how much I was enjoying this in my arousal I muttered barely audible "please don't stop," and I let slip out a feeble "I love this" as she smiled from the results she was producing. Cassie alternated between rubbing my cock through the panties and reaching in and touching my cock, I was going crazy. When she began fingering my tight hole she long since had total control over me.

Stopping for a moment she reached into the bed stand and pulled out a sleek silver vibrator. Cassie proceeded to slip it inside into her panties I was wearing and pressed it against my anus. When I didn't resist and she could tell I liked what she was doing, she pulled the panties down and applied a little lube to the vibrator and began poking it up my butt as she resumed masturbating me."

"I was intoxicated with arousal as this unexpected sexual activity played out. She began encouraging me with "good boy" and "I know you love this, don't you?" and "it's just like what a cock would feel like" as she pushed in the vibrator that was now humming at nearly full speed. Feeling her poke it up my butt I was beside myself with arousal as this played out especially with all the verbal encouragement she had given me. In my mind I was fantasizing about wearing her panties and dresses and makeup just like I did with Mikey and how it felt when he fucked me. My sexuality was so exposed as I had never experienced a girl urging and unlocking my hidden self.

It was shocking that I felt so gay and she could tell. Cassie would dominate beta boys like me because she knew how easy we were to manipulate. With the vibrator poking up my butt and one of my hands fondling her pretty little titties, I finally came, humping my cock up in her hand to her jacking motions splashing cum up my tummy and chest, some even hitting my chin and all over her hand.

She then lay beside me as she pulled out the vibrator from my butt and pulled the panties back up over my penis, soaking them with semen. She was being sweet saying "that was fun" "you really enjoyed that didn't you", and "that was very natural for you wasn't it?" as she made doodles with her fingers in the puddles of cum all over my stomach. She seductively licked a gob of cum off her fingers, dipped it back in the cum and made me lick off a big gob of cum as well. Then as was her nature she made digs towards me saying "are you gay?" "you strike me as someone who could be gay" and "I've never had a guy take to this like you did, a straight guy would never let a girl do this to him." Cassie brought a towel and had me wipe up."

"She made me keep the panties on and sent me on my way. Needless to say, her comments crushed my spirit and she blew me off the next time I tried to see her. I would masturbate in those panties many times and I felt guilty and wanted to throw them away, but never did till years later. I'd see her at school talking with other guys and she'd kinda smirk at me. I knew she had to be talking about me with the other guys. We were in this one class together and it was rumored that the professor was gay. She was always up at his desk after class talking and being friendly to him as I walked out of the classroom. They'd stop talking as I walked by but both would look me straight in the eyes as I averted my gaze."

"One day Cassie was not in class and after class was over and everyone had filed out, Professor Jones stopped me at his desk. After a little small talk, he invited me to go over his house to have coffee on Saturday. It made me feel funny knowing he was probably gay and wondering what Cassandra had told him. His wife was a professor as well and she spent a lot of time doing research work in New York and Boston. While I was at his place, he asked me if I would like to try on some of his wife's clothing.

Cassandra had to have set me up in this. Being asked if I wanted to wear his wife's clothing was a bit unsettling but it was such an enticing thought, in a daze I nodded and whispered a barely audible "yes." It was like a dream going through her clothing, almost impossible to choose there was so much lovely lingerie and pretty dresses. Having him admire me in her lingerie, wearing her lipstick, kissing him, seeing him naked, letting him see and admire my boyish body in panties, bras and lingerie, wearing a dress and lipstick, sucking his cock, letting him fuck me, doing this was more stimulating than trying to score with a chick, even more thrilling than being with Casandra, which I found very exciting up to that point. "

"I was his lover for four or five times till his wife returned. It was indescribable how exciting it was dressing up like a woman for Professor Jones, being his boyish femme lover. Being scared that I really was gay only added to the naughty thrill of dressing in his wife's clothing and acting feminine for him. He told me I was lovely, that a man would be lucky to have me as his wife. We even went out one night with me completely in drag to a gay bar. Being his 'girl' with all the other gay people knowing what this dynamic of our relationship together was implying, gave me a feeling of femininity that has never left me. In my mind I felt very guilty about being with the professor and yet still masturbated in Cassie's panties any chance I could.

Cassie was always a thorn in my ego and the digs never stopped, saying "Hello, Mrs. Jones" as we passed in the hallway one time. I had male friends who were homophobic, so I was very careful and fortunately started dating some other girls and was determined to prove to myself that I was not gay."

As I relayed all this to Martin, still laying in his arms, the cum on me from my ejaculation earlier mostly dried by now, we kissed hungrily and warmly, his masculine bearded mouth and strong tongue firmly over my mouth. Not surprisingly I was hard again telling him all this as his manly hand toyed with my penis. "Your turn," I told him. "Tell me about yours." Martin then began to recount to me:

"Well, I would fool around with another jock who was my friend, mainly jacking off together reading girlie magazines. Sometimes we'd finish the other one off, me jacking him off and he would finish me. Nothing more than that with me and Jake and only a couple of times. We both had girlfriends but full-blown sex was little and far between with girls. Then Jake brought over this kid from school. Rumor was he was queer and liked jocks. It was no rumor; this kid gave each of us a blow job. No girl ever went that far with us, let alone swallow our cum.

We were not gay, the kid was though, we just enjoyed letting this kid suck our cocks. Jake made fun of him calling the kid a fag and it was Jake that brought him around in the first place. I ended up with the kid alone a couple of times and it was more than him just giving me a blow job. We ended up naked together kissing and romancing, it was a lot hotter than I expected.

The kid was very skinny and smooth and his mannerisms were quite feminine, I could not believe how turned on I was by the whole thing. He made me feel like a king, I did not feel gay when I fucked him but for some reason it was just hotter and more exciting than fucking a real girl. He never wore make up or girls' clothing he just had a very girlish nature about him when we were naked together. A lot like you," Martin whispered throatily as he nuzzled my neck and side of my face with his raspy face then kissed me full mouthed hungrily and passionately. He went on:

"In college I had this girlfriend. We were from the same town but went to different colleges. On spring break, I was going to meet her at her home but I would not be there till later in the week. Arriving a few days early, I was going to surprise her and when I got to her place her car was in the drive. Her folks were gone, both at work. I let myself in and went upstairs to find her and surprise her. I heard talking going on upstairs and when I got to her bedroom, it was her little brother talking to himself like a girl with the radio on.

When I saw him, he freaked out because he was wearing his sister's panties and bra and had her makeup and lipstick on. My girlfriend Bonnie had gone with a friend who drove in her friend's car to the beach and were out of the house all day. Jimmy, the brother, started crying when he saw me, pleading not to tell anyone.

He knew who I was and I told him it was okay, that I thought he was pretty. I was actually rather turned on and put his hand on my crotch to show him. We went to his room took off my shirt and let him suck my cock as he jacked off. The whole thing was pretty exciting, actually more exciting than some of the times being with Bonnie. It was a onetime incident with Bonnie living at home, I was living at home and no way to continue any contact with Jimmy. Or so I thought. When I was back in school, he called me and then came to visit me at college, I was a junior and lived off campus in a small apartment.

Kind of like you, I didn't want to be gay but when Jimmy came to visit and wore his sister's clothing and we had sex it was more exciting than with any girl. Again, I was afraid of being gay and dated a number of girls till I met Claudia and we got married when I in our late twenties," Martin paused as he related all this and we shared a soft, sweet kiss. I told him I loved hearing this as well and to tell me more.

"Things went pretty well at first with Claudia. We had a daughter, then things changed. Her interest in sex greatly diminished while mine was always off the charts. Like any guy there is always masturbation, and like any guy, lots of it. But when you are horny and jacking off a lot things cross your mind and I wondered what it would be like to have sex with a guy again. I fought the urges; it had been well over ten years more like fifteen years since I had been with a guy, back in college, my girlfriend's little brother.