Looking for a Husband

Finally, I gave in. With the internet and everything it was so easy. It was not too hard to find a guy who wore lingerie that wanted to be with another man. If I was going to do it, then why not with what turns me on the most," with that Martin kissed me as he stroked my hard cock. "Guys like you," he whispered throatily and nuzzled my neck and face and tongued my ear.

With that, he fisted my hard penis with his manly hand, it just felt so good with him stroking me in the warmth of his arms. Reaching my face back into his, we kissed as he masturbated me. The sensation of his warm manly hand on my hard penis led me to hump it into his jacking grip. For someone who has masturbated so many times in their life, the sensation is a well-known friend. We also know that sensation of being masturbated be another person's hand, while not as common is exponentially more exciting. When my ejaculation was finally coaxed out, the second such masturbated ejaculation in one hour's time, my sense of sensual sexuality and revealing my true self as a homosexual was readily apparent. Martin was hard again but we got up. He gave me one of his button-down shirts and a pair of gym which were way too big but I tied them tight. I felt like the lead actress in a James Bond movie. We sat on the couch and Martin ordered Chinese food to be delivered.

Being with Martin at his place after we had sex for the first time made me feel more than a little feminine as I snuggled close to him on the couch. After eating I just melted into the couch with a glass of wine as Martin tidied up and took a phone call from a coworker. Returning to the couch Martin put his arm around me as I snuggled close. He asked if I would mind if he watched a ballgame on TV, of course not, I said. It just felt so warm and inviting snuggling close to him in the afterglow of our consummated union of first-time sex.

When the game was over, his team lost, and I was snuggled close. It seemed only natural to paw at his manhood through his shorts as we were so close on the couch. He was hard in no time as I freed his cock and marveled that I had such a nice penis to play with as I jacked on it. What a funny feeling it was playing with his cock. For years as a closet fag, I'd sneak around behind my wife's back and suck a guy's cock who I had never seen before and would never see again, suck and run. It was always such a 'closet' thing that while I loved the sex act of sucking cock, the sneaking around and hiding it made it kind of sleazy.

Here with Martin, we'd been 'dating' and knew each other so there was a connection and it felt natural. We kissed hungrily then I pressed his cock into my face, getting to know its scent and texture, its big helmet head and veiny shaft, totally enamored being there with him playing with his manhood. When I slipped my mouth over his cock and tried to go down as far as I could on it, Martin ran his hands through my hair and let out a soft moan.

Stopping for a moment I stood up and took off the shirt and shorts of his I had on. I wanted him to see me naked again, I fucking love letting a man see me without my clothes on. Martin pulled on my hard penis as I stood there showing off my thin, boyish body to him. Both his hands reached back and grabbed a handful of "boy ass". Pulling me on to his lap we kissed again as he then pulled off his shirt. I loved being naked for him with his hands all over me and us kissing. Sliding off his lap I pulled his shorts off and climbed back on the couch nuzzling my face into his beautiful hard cock.

Martin stretched out and lay back with his head on the arm rest opening up his legs as I returned my face to his hairy cock and balls. In so many ways nuzzling my face into another man's cock and balls was naughty and disgusting, yet for a smooth, hairless, femininely inclined guy like me it was the most exciting, most natural sexual act I could possibly be fortunate enough to undertake, especially with a kind man like Martin.

It was obscene how eagerly I went after his cock and how hard it made my cock sucking his. Everything I had sought and longed for was happening. No running around sneaking sex with an anonymous guy who I might never see again. This was so different. I dated a bunch of guys just like I was a girl and now I was Martin's "girl" who was discovering our new sexual horizons together. Martin had to be enjoying it as I bathed his hard hairy cock and balls with my tongue. I heard him gasp "good girl" as I plunged my mouth over his cock and bobbed up and down on it.

I'd sucked guy's cocks before but this was the most exciting situation I'd ever been in. The way it made me feel feminine made my penis ache. This cock sucking frenzy made me so aroused that I crawled up into Martin's arms again, kissing him madly as he whispered throatily in my ear "you're so hot" as my body clung to his and my penis chafed against his hard sticky cock. I wanted to "seal the deal" and slid back down taking his cock back in my mouth, relishing the wonderful nasty carnal taste of his manhood.

In this dawn of our sexual relationship, I wanted to pleasure him lovingly and make it special to where he was happy that I was his "girl". Sucking his glorious cock like a hungry puppy I bobbed up and down on it gobbling it down as Martin ran his fingers though my hair and muttered "mmmmnn". Being naked on Martin's couch sucking his cock the night after our third date was not something I had thought much about. No, that's a lie, I fantasized about it, but never thought it would happen so fast.

With my mouth full of his fleshy, hairy, testosterone laden hard cock, slurping and sucking sounds wafted around the quiet of the room as I went after his cock knowing sucking cock and being gay was really who I was. Martin ran his hands through my short hair as I gagged, sucked and licked on his cock. After quite some time of me attending to his cock trying to pique his manly needs and pleasure his penis, Martin let gasp out "yeah baby" and "don't ever stop" telling me he must be getting close. This served to encourage my eager cock sucking when finally, he took my head in both hands as an enormous ejaculation spurted up into my cock hungry mouth.

If you are a cock sucker your reward is the taste of the semen you are thrilled to coax out of a cock into your waiting lips. Gobs of warm, slimy, tangy, nasty semen filled my mouth and as I received his seed it only served to make my cock sucking more animated and eager. The ejaculation only lasts seconds but the mad love you feel tasting it and sucking it down burns into your psyche forever. Even after the last drop was deep in my belly I sucked his cock with a loving fervor, then licking the still hard shaft and his hairy balls before returning his magnificent penis back in my mouth for one more appreciative suck.

Finally coming up for air I beamed at Martin as he smiled back in sated satisfaction before I climbed up into his arms for a mad, loving kiss. In his kind appreciation he felt for my hard penis as I knelt beside him. Truly all it took was a few tugs and I ejaculated onto his hairy torso as I tingled from the sensation, basking in the glow of our loving sexual union.

........

When I got home in the morning, I was floating. My night with Martin was one of the best experiences of my life. It was unexpected in the depth of sexual and emotional feelings that enveloped me. I felt like a schoolgirl who just got laid by a nice guy. In my euphoria I did not want to ruin it by going to work, so I called in sick, just to have the whole day to myself. Everything I was searching for seemed to happen; I was dating a handsome, kind, masculine man and we made love in a wonderful aura of potent sex and sweet sensuality. I took a long bath and shaved everywhere smooth and lotion-ed my soft smooth body. Knowing what Martin told me about his excitement over feminine males, I painted my toes a lovely shade of pink, even did a few toes in lavender just for fun.

Around the apartment I wore girls' clothing, nothing special, some super soft, super thin light pink panties then just a pair of teal terry short shorts and a pink Victoria's Secret loose tank top. Like any new relationship there was the questioning "is he going to call me or text me?" "do I call him or text him?" so I was a little nervous about what to do. I both exhilarated about my now intimate and wonderful relationship with Martin and fretted about how or where it would lead and how I should act. In this cloud of romantic bliss and the uncertainty of how to proceed, the phone rang. It was Martin. Inside I lit up like a Christmas tree, like a teen girl smiled at by her heart throb.

"Hello?" I answered with sugar in my voice, softly.

"Hello Princess, how are you?" he asked. I about wet my panties when he called me 'Princess'.

"Floating," I responded. "On cloud nine."

"Me too. Would you like to join me again on my cloud?" Martin gushed.

We talked not long and I told him I'd be over as soon as I could, he said the door would be unlocked making me tingle knowing what was in store. That afternoon I would show Martin the girly side of me I knew he would enjoy. Perhaps if he would not have told me of his experiences with feminine boys, I might simply have worn some panties underneath my boy clothes. My mind was made up however to go a bit further than just a pair of panties.

Trying not to rush, I packed a knapsack with some lingerie, and other clothes plus my favorite high heels, some makeup and my blond "page boy" wig. As to make this a little smoother I did most of my makeup before I left the house, wore sunglasses to hide my pretty eyes on the way over and would do my lips once I arrived. Letting myself in I called out sweetly, telling him I would be right there as I went to the 'powder room'. I wanted to show off to him, make him want me for being feminine. As I dressed it the bathroom the excitement and arousal I felt was stimulating beyond belief.

My outfit was simple; shear stockings to reveal my painted toes, my silver rhinestone high heel sandals, a white garter belt with a baby blue bow, side tie white string bikini panties with a matching blue bow and a stunning half camisole in virginal white. Perhaps subconsciously it had very much a "bridal" theme to it. Completing the ensemble was my flawless makeup with stunning quite pink sparkle lip gloss and a classy, showy "Jane Fonda" wig. Walking down the hallway, the 'click clack' of the high heels on the hardwood floor had to announce to Martin what was in store. As I stood by the bed, I looked sexy, stylish, hot. With Martin naked half covered by the sheet, he let out a "Wow!" with me standing next to him. Reaching up, his manly hairy hand fondled the front of my silky white panties, soon producing a very stiff erection.

Martin played with my erect penis and with the touch of his hand on the flesh of my penis involuntarily I untied the string bikini panties as my erection tingled to the touch of his hand. Martin pulled on my penis as I stood there glowing in presenting myself in such a feminine, sexually available moment. This was my strongest desire, presenting myself as a feminine creature to a masculine male for our sexual pleasures, now manifest with Martin's hand pulling on my very erect penis. This was who I was, who I had become, an overly feminine homosexual male being taken by a man.

When Martin sank his mouth over my penis, my knees buckled and collapsed against the bed. With warm wet firmness Martin's masculine mouth bathed my smooth shaved penis and balls creating sensations so wonderful that I felt guilty these sensations felt so utterly pleasurable. It was not long that I literally wilted on top of Martin in the bed as we embraced in a hungry passionate kiss, the taste of my lipstick mashing into his aggressive kiss as his hands roamed over my body and he whispered "you're so fucking hot" in my ear. His gorgeous cock was so fucking hard as I sunk my mouth over it tasting his testosterone laden manhood in a fit of pure cock sucking lust.

The slurping and sucking sounds I made as I ravishingly sucked cock let him know what a cock hungry little bitch he had latched onto his penis, there in his bed in the late afternoon bobbing up and down on his cock. Finally coming up for another passionate frenzied embraced Martin forced his mouth on mine as his hand roamed over my body. He loved my ass I could tell as he always went to it with affection.

We kissed tenderly as his middle finger was probing my tight bung hole. He pulled me over his lap as our penises chafed against one another. He caressed my naked ass lovingly with his middle finger occasionally fingering my hole. My lovely smooth buns mooned seductively to Martin's fascinated attention. Then without warning a hand slapped down hard on one, then the other cheek, ringing out the fierce sound of soft flesh being cracked against by a leathery hand. These were no timid 'love taps' but full force spanks as nearly a half dozen slaps that made me winch in pain and shock of what had occurred. I was dumbfounded in pain and disbelief and though I tried to fight it tears welled up in my eyes.

In emotional disarray as my bottom stung in agony, now red and stinging I tried to process my vulnerability of being so feminine receiving an 'adult to child' action. My penis had lost its erection as my mind was spinning in fog of emotional and physical distress when I heard Martin speak while rubbing the tender soreness of my quite red stinging bottom:

"So lovely, Princess, so lovely. I could not resist. Your ass makes my cock hard," he softly told me as I still tried to wrap my head around the shock of the spanking.

As Martin continued to massage my burning cheeks, he would slip his middle finger in and poke at my tight hole distracting from the soreness and making my erection return. Sliding to his side my face found his very erect cock upon which I began to suckle. Whole heartedly ravishing my mouth upon his cock sucking, slurping and a few gagging noises filled the quiet afternoon. My arousal returned full force as sucking his cock brought me back to the reality of my innate homosexuality. Latching on to his cock resumed the focus of my sexuality; I felt feminine, I felt boyish and gay, I felt I had come home with his cock in my mouth.

"Good girl, Princess, suck Martin's cock," he told me as he continued to massage and finger my reddened ass. He pulled me up into his arms for a powerful, ravishing kiss.

"You're a cock hungry little faggot at heart, aren't you?" Martin whispered teasingly as I held on tight in our nuzzling and kissing. Both of our cocks were very hard as we fondled each other.

"Oh my gosh, yes," I gasped as I nuzzled my face close to his ear. "It's so true, I am a horny little faggot for you, it feels so good to be this way". I bit a tender "love nibble" on his ear like a young puppy happy to be loved. It felt good acknowledging this to Martin after hiding it and denying it all these years.

..............

It was so true. While labels about being gay, being a queer, being a faggot are not particularly endearing to one's self esteem in the journey of coming out, it was exciting to me on a deep sexual level. Not all relationships or gay relationships are "Alpha/beta" in nature. In my case however, as a feminine acting, sexual submissive 'boi', the beta tag fit me to a "T" especially when I came in contact with masculine Alpha types like Martin. In a way, Martin knew how to push the right buttons in our sexual dynamic. He was not being mean or cruel, he was stimulating my sexual nature by heightening my sense of self as a homosexual submissive beta. It was so true.

The last "closet" encounter I had with another man before getting divorced from Susie and beginning my quest to find a steady boyfriend took on a similar theme in my sexual desires, in my sexual expression. The man I hooked up with was also married. He was a little over weight, hairy and not really as attractive or as kind as Martin. He was singularly focused on having another guy suck his cock, to service him. His wife was out of town for a week and the first of my two encounters started out with him getting naked and wanting me to kneel before him to suck his cock. He had told me this in our hooking up he was looking for a "cocksucker".

I was somewhat leery of his approach but went anyway because of my own sexual hunger and the ease of being able to hook up in this particular man who lived close. He was naked as I knelt before him in his bedroom and started playing with his cock, I still had my clothes on. By the time he was hard and took his cock in my mouth, I was so hard as well. I peeled off my shirt and opened my pants to play with my cock as I sucked him. His cock was average size but thick with a fat helmet head and just a lot of pubes and hair everywhere.

As an anonymous male on male sexual encounter, while it was exciting on purely physical level, it was a little demeaning and disgusting on the psychological level. Yet there were certain elements that really turned me on about this encounter. The man started being very verbal with me urging me on saying things like "yeah, you little cocksucker, suck my cock" "Oh yeah, suck me" "little faggot likes dick, doesn't he?" and as he said all this it was demeaning yet wildly arousing. Hearing him talk to me like that only made me suck his cock more eagerly which only made him more verbal. Maybe this verbal encouragement turned me on from when Cassandra was always so verbal in her sex play and interaction with me and she was always in charge.

It was a sexual dynamic that I had not known married to Susie. Perhaps Cassandra did start it and both physically and psychologically. Even Professor Jones lovingly called me "a pretty little faggot" a few times when I dressed in his wife's clothing when we were having sex. Hearing Professor Jones say that always made me tingle. So when kneeling before this married stranger in his bedroom, his wife out of town, I had never been more turned on being called a "cocksucker", a faggot" as this man hurled these taunts at me while I had his nasty hard cock in my mouth. This lit a fire inside me as I sucked this guy's cock with a unbridled fervor; this told me a cock sucking fag was who I was, deep down.

As a closet faggot I wanted to be out of the closet and to be a man's steady lover, to have a steady boyfriend, I knew I would make a good "wife" for some lucky guy. But on my knees in some stranger's bedroom sucking his cock being called a faggot was still very arousing. It was so dirty; sneaking gay sex behind both of our wives backs with me as a cock sucking faggot servicing this guy in his bedroom. On the dresser were pictures of this man and his wife, some recent photos, some of their wedding years ago. With his cock in my mouth the taste of cock and the masculine aroma of this man made it all a bit surreal. I didn't care, I was so hard sucking his cock, I knew what it meant to be a "fag", a 'cocksucker", even though I knew I wanted more out of my sexuality than just sucking random cocks. Yet it was still very exciting as I sucked his cock in my beta role to a hairy Alpha.

"Suck, baby, suck!" he kept telling me. "Faggots sure know how to suck cock, baby, keep going," with him saying that made me proud in strange sort of way.

I did keep going. It was obscene and nasty sucking off a complete stranger in his bedroom. It was a typical anonymous homosexual hookup. But it was also very exciting and it made me so fucking hard as he held my head with both of his hands and began to hump my mouth, I knew he had to be getting close. A series of "yeah baby, yeah baby" he gasped as he face-fucked me and ejaculated in my mouth. We were both so into it as I took his spunk in my mouth and he released his grip on my head and let go. I wasn't done as I continued sucking him long after he had cum in my mouth soaking in the erotic taste of cock and semen. I eventually backed off his cock as I masturbated furiously on my cock, cumming shortly after that onto myself as I lay back on the bedroom floor.