Looking Up Pt. 03

That feeling, in my sub place, the one that has been building for this whole walk, the one that spiked with the photographs. It's full to the brim, I'm looking at Master, he's looking at me, the guys grope my body. They paw at my breasts, my ass, my cunt. I fight back the feelings, but I am deep into sub-space. The fact that I am letting this happen makes me feel fucking phenomenal.

"You should come back with us; we'll take real good care of you," Gropey says, the one with my breast, that is. In lieu of an actual name, this one is called Gropey.

"I can't make that decision, sir."

"As your Master, I demand it," Clumsy says, trying to sound dominant.

"You're not my Master, sir."

Master is looking at me, concerned. He gestures at me, asking if I'm okay. I raise my hand and give a maybe gesture. I'd feel a lot better if he was out here with me, he's next in line, so I won't have to wait much longer. My attention is dragged back to the scene by Gropey moving his head next to my mask, following my line of sight.

"Is that your Master?" he asks.

"Yes."

"He doesn't look like much, are you sure you wouldn't rather come with us?"

"I want to do whatever he tells me to do."

"Anything?"

"Yes, anyth...ing," Clumsy accidentally finds the point and interrupts me for a moment.

"How come, miss?" the third one finally speaks, a quiet, rather timid voice. I decide to call this one "Bashful".

"He is my Master," I reply, knowing they probably won't understand.

"But, why?" Bashful asks again.

"I'm submissive, I enjoy following his orders."

"What if he told you to eat dog shit?" Clumsy asks, grinning.

"There are limits to what he will ask me to do."

"What if he told you to suck his cock?" asks Gropey.

"I would be thrilled."

"So he can fuck you, like, whenever he wants?" Clumsy takes his hands off me, thankfully, suddenly very curious about the nature of our relationship.

"Of course he can."

"Woah." All three say in unison.

"Wait, how old are you?" I ask, suddenly concerned. Kicking myself for not checking earlier.

"Old enough," Clumsy says, he appears to be the de facto leader.

"Seriously?" I try to be forceful, but that's not easy when you're naked and close to orgasm.

"Dan's the youngest," Clumsy points towards Bashful, "he's only 18, I'm 20, he's 19."

"Hm, okay. Thank you," they don't seem to be lying, at least as far as I can tell.

They return their hands to my body and continue their groping, extracting whimpers and moans from me, despite my best efforts to contain them. My initial reservations, about people knowing how close to orgasm I am, become a reality as Clumsy finally finds what he didn't know he was looking for. I bite my lip under my helmet and almost lose control of my legs.

"Oh, you like being touched here, hm?" he says, full of misplaced confidence.

"Yes," I say, barely a whisper.

"Having fun?" Master's voice, just hearing it lifts my spirits. I feel safe again.

"We are," Clumsy says, squaring off against Master, "so you can run along. She doesn't need you anymore."

"Is that so?" Master says, smirking, "if that's her decision, who am I to stand in the way?"

He starts to walk away, carrying his crate of beer, and a small bag of I'm not sure what. I stay in position, he told me to stay by the door, so I will stay by the door. I watch him, though. I watch him walk away, and I know he'd never leave me, but I can't help the feeling, of that creeping fear in the back of my mind. That he will, like everyone else, abandon me. My fears, however, were misplaced. He stops after a small distance, turning around to look at me, and them, once more.

"Slut," he says, making eye contact with Clumsy. "Heel."

I immediately scurry after Master, kneeling beside him. He places the crate on the floor and places a hand on my helmet. He's pleased with me, I did a good job. I wish I could feel his approval, the warmth of his hand on my head, his strong fingers in my hair. Gripping it, pulling me closer to his erect and beautiful cock. Sliding it into my mouth and letting me taste that wonderful flavour.

"Good girl," he says, snapping me back to reality. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

"I'm fine, Master," I say, "They groped me, but didn't hurt me."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Yes, Master," I say, reluctantly. Really not happy about admitting aloud that these fumbling oafs made me feel good.

"Do you remember what I told you earlier?"

"You said a lot of things, Master. Could you be more specific?"

"I'm going to give your ass away, tonight."

I look at him, he's not joking. I look at the boys as they walk into the store, which one of them will he give me to, I wonder? Clumsy probably, he was the oldest, although Gropey was the one who initiated, perhaps more of a dominant streak in him. Bashful, Dan, seems too timid to contest the others.

"To which one, Master?"

"All seven of them."

Seven? I look up, there are the three boys, looking around there are 4 people still watching, some still with cameras rolling. he means to offer me to everyone here? That's, so hot. No, not hot. Are you insane? Is he insane? He can't be serious, giving me to seven complete strangers. Seven. Actually, he'll want me to offer myself to seven complete strangers. Fuck me. If there's ever a situation I should safe word, it's this. He's pushing me, I know it, testing me. Seeing how far he can take it. This is too far, too much.

I enjoyed the delivery guy, and I think I would enjoy one of them, maybe. After the way Clumsy and Gropey treated me, it would be humiliating to have to plead for one of them to sodomise me because Master is going to make me beg them for it. Begging seven people to join an anal gangbang, because that's what he's crafting here. A gangbang, a public gangbang. Oh fuck, I bet he's loving this, I'm getting pretty excited myself, but then I've been on the cusp this whole time.

Oh, that shrewd bastard. I can't believe I didn't see this coming. He knew he was going to offer me, probably the moment I offered the beer run. He also knows that, if I'm horny enough, I'm significantly more likely to push the envelope. If he thinks keeping me on the edge is enough to make me do this, he's sorely mistaken. He's...He's a real fucking bastard sometimes.

So, just say the word, and put an end to this. He won't be disappointed, he has to know he's going too far, he knows me, he knows that this is beyond what is reasonable. Let's just say it and go home. He'll apologise for getting excited, I'll put his cock in my mouth. Then he'll fuck me and I can finally cum. A perfect end to the evening. That said, it would be kind of hot, wouldn't it? Humiliating, degrading even, and so, so, hot.

Slut, this is Josie, just checking in to alert you to the fact that you've been thinking about this for a while, and have yet to say the safe word. I'm not sure you noticed, just open that pretty mouth of ours and say it. Let him know you don't want to do this. Tell him he's gone too far. Say. The. Word. We're approaching "who are you trying to convince" territory here.

Hold on, hold on. We knew this was a possibility, we signed the contract. We agreed to this, maybe not this specifically, but we agreed to let Master choose. He's chosen, why are we even thinking about it? Because it's nuts? That's not for us to decide, not anymore. We gave up the right to choose because we make bad decisions. Actually, Josie makes bad decisions, slut does what Master says. Slut has already made the best decision.

"Earth to slut," Master says, tapping on the helmet, snapping me out of my ruminations.

"Sorry, Master. What's happening?"

"Are you okay?"

"I was thinking about it."

"Were you?" He sounds surprised.

"I'm not sure if I should safe word or not"

"I'm surprised to hear that, figured you'd nope out of this one"

"I want to nope out"

"But you haven't"

"No, I haven't"

"Why not?"

"I agreed to do it."

"Jo...Slut, that's not how this works."

"I know, I just want to make you happy. This is your fantasy, but also..."

"Also?"

"I haven't used the safe word because, well, because I'm not sure I want to."

"That's interesting, don't you think?"

"It's something."

"Tell me about the delivery boy."

"Again?"

"Again."

"Okay. He rang the bell, said the words, and I sucked his cock. There, happy?"

"How did it make you feel?"

"Slutty."

"You can do better than that."

"It was, humiliating that you would just give me away. I, and I'm sorry for saying this, but I want to be special to you, significant even, and when you gave me away I felt the opposite, like I was nothing to you. That really feeds into my kinks, you know?"

"What else?"

"Well," I pause to consider, "you didn't, I mean, you just assumed he'd say yes. The idea of him refusing never occurred to you."

"Your point?"

"You think that, um, I'm so pretty that no one would turn me down?"

"And?"

"You get off on control."

"No shit, what else?"

"You're using me to control them, they wouldn't stand a chance without you. You dangle something you believe to be irresistible, something they can't get without you, something you control, so completely, and then use me to control people that, you wouldn't normally control?"

"Interesting theory, but you're not quite there. It's close, though."

"No, you don't care about them. Is it punishment for, well, for cheating on you?"

"No, it's not, although," It's his turn to consider, "it might be a factor."

"Could you tell me?"

"Nope. Here's what I will say. This will be the last scene tonight, do it, don't do it. Either way, we'll go back home, we'll have sex, you can cum, and we'll talk about what's been bothering you."

"Seb, I don't want to talk about it, please don't make me."

"I won't make you do anything, you know that. What I will do; is point out that, if you've done something that could affect the way I think about you, I have a right to know what it is, don't I?"

I don't answer, he's right. Of course he's right, but I can't answer.

"So, here's your choice. We can go home, get pissed, have amazing sex, or, you can let a group of strangers anally violate you, and THEN we go home, get pissed, and have amazing sex. I won't force you, I don't hate you, and I won't punish you if you refuse."

"Are you ordering me to pick one?"

"I suppose I am."

"That's mean."

"I know."

"Why can't you pick?"

"Why'd you think?"

"Because you're an asshole?"

"Only to you," He says, laughing. "So, what's it going to be?"

What is it going to be? He's leaving it up to me, again. I could have used the safe word, but I didn't. Am I in denial? Do I really want this to happen, I mean, I feel like I shouldn't be this conflicted about it. I know that there's a huge part of me that would do anything Master says. The fact that he's the one to have suggested it is definitely tipping the scale toward anal gangbang.

Just saying it makes me hot. Well, hotter. I'm already way too horny to think, I thought the whole point of this was for him to think for me. I make bad decisions. He's given an order, though. Gods, everything I want. An evening with him, drinking, fucking, like the last four years never happened, or I get all of that in addition to seven strange cocks in my ass.

Down some filthy alley, bent over some trash cans. The scent of rotten food and piss surrounds me, as one after another seven strangers use me for gratification. Never speaking to me, never acknowledging me, save to line themselves up. Ramming into me as hard as it takes for them to finish, without any consideration for my needs. Never treating me as more than an ass to fuck.

My hand moves to my clit, not on its own. This is my doing, this fantasy is the craziest, most depraved thing I've ever fantasized about. I needed to feel my wetness, I needed to confirm that my body and mind were in sync. This decision, is no longer just about Master, I've accepted it, realised it, and I want this. Josie is slut, slut is Josie, they both want this to happen, and we trust Master to keep us safe.

"Well?" Master asks.

"Fuck you," I say, rising to my feet and stepping forward.

"Where are you going?"

"To beg seven strangers to fuck me, where'd you think?"

"You obviously can't do that," Master says, many expressions crossing his face, confusion, arousal, and disbelief.

"Why not?" I ask, unable to hide my disappointment, "I thought it was my choice?"

"Josie," he places a hand on my shoulder, turning me to look at him, "This is a public street, this is my local shop. I live here. Some of these people know me."

"We could go down the alley, out of public view." I protested, unsure of how this turned into me convincing him.

"Don't be ridiculous," he takes my hand and starts leading me away, "Let's go home and get shit-faced."

"Yes, Master," I say, my head lowers and I plod after him like a sulking child. If he knew he didn't want this why didn't he say so? If it wasn't an option, why present it as one. All that thought, all that build-up. Wasted. I'm ripped right out of subspace, I'm not even sure I want to have sex anymore. I feel like everything was building up to that event, that gangbang. Now, I feel like I've been edged and then had the orgasm ruined. All the horniness is gone, and I'm left frustrated and disillusioned.

The walk home is quiet and awkward. He asks if I'm okay, I say "Yes, Master," but my heart isn't in it, and I think he can tell. He squeezes my hand, and I squeeze back. Little things like this are why I know I'll forgive him. The ending wasn't great, but the rest of this evening was wonderful. We walk in silence, but I speed up to walk next to him, resting my helmet on his arm.

"Seb," I begin, breaking the silence. "If you knew you wouldn't let me do it, why did you force me to choose?"

"Honestly," he wraps his arm around me, pulling me close to him. I reciprocate, this unexpectedly tender moment soothing me, and my thoughts. "I was sort of testing you. I'm trying to glean some insight into what's going on with you because it's more than just a breakup."

He stops walking and sits on a wall, I kneel in front of him. I'm not sure why we've stopped, but he looks deep in thought like he's considering his words carefully.

"I'm sorry if I upset you; I guess somehow I got the idea that if I can get you to use the safe word, or tell you to do something that's too much for you, that you'll open up and I can help you."

"That wasn't in the contract, I didn't agree to that."

"But you did agree to let seven strangers butt fuck you, so I have to wonder, what the fuck happened, Josie."

"I just," I start to explain but I can't find the words, if he believed the rumours too I don't know what I would do, he's all I've got left. "Can't we just enjoy the evening, I promise I'll use the safe word if it's too much, I swear it, Seb."

"Your self-esteem has taken a hit, if you're experiencing feelings of worthlessness, and abandonment. If you feel like it was your fault, and the fact you won't talk about it makes me think you do blame yourself, you might push farther, do darker things that you don't want to do, things that hurt you, just because you think you deserve it."

"I don't blame myself for Ed cheating, that's all on him."

"You do feel like you deserve punishment, though."

"What makes you say that?"

"I've been purposefully winding you up, keeping you on the edge. You must have been desperate to finish."

"I am, I so, so am."

"You ask if you can cum, and every time I say "do you think you deserve it" and every time you say "no". So, it's pretty clear that there's something up."

"Wait, I could have said yes?"

"Of course."

"You'd have let me cum?"

"Yes."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?"

"I'm not joking, why are you shouting?"

"I thought you wanted me to say no, deny myself, degrade myself by thinking up reasons I don't deserve it."

"Interesting, I kind of like that."

"Can I cum?"

"Are we still playing?"

"Yes, I mean, I'd like to. I'm disappointed about that last thing but I understand why you did it, at least," I shuffle closer and hug his leg, "thank you for looking out for me, Master. It might sound strange, considering what we've been doing, but I really needed someone in my corner."

"I've got you. Really," he places a hand on my helmet, "I've enjoyed the evening too, more than I expected. If you still want to play, we can keep it going. I have one condition, though."

"Name it, Master. Anything."

"I want to know."

"Seb, I don't want to think about it. It's already killing my buzz, if I start talking about it I know I'm going to cry, and all of this will be over," I can already feel the tears starting to force their way out, I'm thankful for the helmet if Seb saw I think he might have called an end to everything.

"Then, during sub care."

"After the night is finished, you mean?"

"Yes, when everything is winding down, we'll be drunk, spent, and happy."

"Can I get three honest answers from you in return?"

"Three?"

"Yes. Two now, one later."

"Okay, I have two questions of my own."

"A trade, then?"

"First, did you really want those people to fuck you?"

"Oh, man. Yes, I know I shouldn't, but I did. I really, really did. Why do you enjoy giving me away?"

"You were close before, they don't stand a chance with you, not really. It's different from you finding a random partner, or using an app for a hook-up. You're letting me decide what counts as rape, and I've never had so much power over a person, so much influence."

"I hadn't thought of it that way, it's sort of true. I am willing but unwilling. That's an interesting perspective. I like it. Your turn."

"Is this play hurting you in a bad way, are you doing it because you feel like you deserve it?"

"It's not hurting me, at all. I will admit, it's not something I would normally do, or would have even suggested, and the circumstances are a big factor in why I said yes. That said, I only feel comfortable doing it because it's you. I know, at any time, I can pull the plug. It's also not so much that I feel like I deserve punishment, I enjoy being degraded, so that's actually a treat, maybe not in the moment, but I honestly feel better now than I did this morning. Truly, it's been wonderfully cathartic."

"So, you're not in a dark place?"

"That's an extra question, but no. I was, but you've raised me out of it. That's why I want to keep going."

"Okay, your final question?"

"Would you have liked watching seven strangers sodomise me in an alley?"

"At my command? Yes," he adjusts his position as he says this, "more so now that I know you were so into it."

"What was your favourite part?"

"The photo you posed for, I told him to say that," he smiled, looking pleased with himself.

"He told me. I enjoyed that too, that whole photo session was incredible. I had a lot of fun, and came up with some nice ideas."

"Such as?"

"If I had an earpiece in, and you were sat somewhere giving me instructions. I would follow them, but no one would know, they'd think I was some slut on her own, flashing, offering sex acts."

"I like the sound of that. Quick way to end up in prison, though."

"That's true, such a shame."

"Doesn't mean there isn't a time and a place for it, at a party perhaps."

"So, can I cum please, Master?"

"Do you think you deserve it?"

"Yes," I say, adamantly, "yes I do, Master."

"Why?"

"Why? Well, because I've been a good girl, I've been following your orders so well, and I make you happy, don't I, Master?"

"You make a good case for yourself, but what's in it for me?"

"For you?" I stand up and spin around, "you get a bonafide hotty, a submissive slut who isn't just willing to follow orders, to fulfil each and every twisted desire, or dark fantasy you have," I move closer to him, "not just willing, insistent. I want to be used by you, Master," I lean in and whisper in his ear, "and anyone else you wish."