Losing Everything to Science

I was spellbound!

But these philosophical musings were not to last.

I am ashamed to admit that craven curiosity and selfish self-pity got the better of me. The Scientist losing out to the Husband, battling over how I was to "observe" this event.

Crawling over behind them, I could now see my wife's legs splayed unnaturally wide, her feet swaying rhythmically in the air above them. Her puckered anus pulsating as her labia and vaginal entrance were stretched obscenely by the impossibly large organ thrusting into her. Not since the birth of our children had I seen the amazing adaptation of her reproductive system expand to accommodate its intended biological purpose.

But against this backdrop of objective wonder, equally compelling was the shattering of all of humanities rules. This Man was not supposed to be in this Woman. My woman!

Unable to control myself, I whipped down my shorts, releasing my long-ignored erection and began to stroke my rock-hard member and fondle my balls, my rapidly rising orgasm driven by both my self-manipulation and the erotically taboo scene before me.

With each thrust, Dom's large testicles swung violently against her buttocks. With each withdrawal, her sex stretched and distended, puckering lewdly around his organ, seemingly unwilling to let it go. A white frothy ring of their combined juices encircling the base of his shaft and her orifice, the evidence of their combined essence running down toward her pulsing rectum.

As the tempo and intensity of their intercourse began to increase, the contrast of her pale legs now wrapped around his dark torso made the physical act even more startling. Drawn by the sound of quickening breaths and sustained guttural noises coming from them both, I watched them looking intently at one another as each powerful thrust rocked her body violently, her large breasts dancing wildly on her chest.

It was at that moment that the magnitude of the entire situation, and my life, would change forever.

Their tempo ever increasing and efforts more strained, their heads now moved together, eyes fixed on the other, as their lips now met in an explosive passionate kiss that seemed to overshadow everything else their bodies were doing. This intensely intimate act signaled that a new level of emotion and shared connection had transcended the physical sexual act.

I felt a sudden wave of nausea and terror as I realized that this wasn't just sex.

They were Making Love!

In that moment I understood that whatever role I had played in their lives, it was clear that this relationship was no longer defined by me. What was unfolding in front of me was something between the two of them alone. When, or if, I was ever the center of their relationship, I no longer knew.

Even faster and more forcefully Dom's thrusting now became, as their passionate kissing and shared loving gazes into one-another's eyes continued, interspaced with their occasional glances down at the eroticism of their conjoined bodies. They greedily exulted in the ecstatic physical pleasure they were sharing, as their union was rapidly reaching its climax.

As their breathing now turned into rasping gulps for air, Jenn threw her arms around Dom's neck, forcefully drawing him into a crushing embrace as she screamed out in rapture.

"Aaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuugggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!"

Dom's pace now became frantic, the tension in every pronounced sinew about to snap, the grip on her limbs deathlike, his thrusting more violent as his entire body began to convulse. Looking down, I noted his testicles had contracted back up close to his body and his penile shaft had grown even larger in diameter.

This was what all the science and biology led to. Here was a man, all the muscles of his body flexed in extreme stricture, focusing every scintilla of his being into the women below him, her arms and legs spread in welcome ecstasy, unreservedly exhorting him onward to completion, demanding his seed deep into her womb.

With one final herculean thrust, Dom buried himself into her and froze, as powerful contractions rippled from his anus and clenched buttocks, down along his pulsating shaft!

Dom let out a strained roar, a combination of exaltation and agony, that seemed to erupt from his very soul.

" Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!",

With a few more relaxed thrusts, he then collapsing on his lover with strangled gasps. Still firmly embedded in her, she held him tightly, her legs interlocked around his waist, kissing him gently and offering mumbled tender words of love and reassurance.

At their climactic completion, I now abandoned my subtle and painfully restrained masturbation of the last hour. Watching the two lovers embracing as if there was no other one or thing in the world, the long-delayed orgasm I had been denying myself all night, quickly built and washed over me, as forceful ropes of cum began to shoot out of me, landing on my face and chest.

Unmoving for what seemed like a couple minutes, Dom eventually rolled off Jenn with a vocal effort, collapsing onto his back on the floor, his chest still heaving. His glistening body reflecting in the dancing firelight, his now flaccid penis curled up like a snake on his abdomen, his testicles relaxed and resting on the floor between his spread legs.

Looking to my wife she still lay, splayed out, on the edge of the couch, her pale skin flushed and damp, her breasts, torso, and arms baring the physical marks of Dom's frenzied passion. Her entire groin area was an indescribable tangle of engorged, red, sodden flesh. From her still-gaping vagina, framed by her swollen and distended inner and outer labia, a long stream of semen oozed, stretching down onto the carpet below.

His Seed!

I sat paralyzed as the erotic fog suddenly lifted from my brain, struck by lightning at the realization that since my vasectomy, Jenn had not used any form of birth control for years.

Just moments ago, another man had likely impregnated her, with her willing and enthusiastic consent. I sat in the shocked realization that what I'd witnessed had transcended mutual sexual gratification, to that of primal breeding driven by unrestrained passion.......and obviously, Love.

My wife had been bred!

PART 8

Struggling to my feet, I stumbled to the small bathroom next to the bar to clean up and collect myself for a few minutes, returning to find Dom unmoved from his position, but now apparently sleeping from the sounds of his breathing. In my absence, Jenn had moved off the couch to lay down alongside him, curled in a fetal position, arms encircling his chest in a serene embrace, her slumber marked by gentle breathing.

Counterposed to this serene picture was the vulgar reminder of their union. Her legs pulled up beside her onto his lap, I was transfixed by her peach-shaped bottom and still-inflamed sex, fluid from their union still leaking down her buttocks and thigh.

Feeling again like an interloper, an unwelcome intruder on their private post-coital moment, I took one final mental picture of the scene and then stumbled upstairs to the main floor and locking myself in my office, collapsing on the small loveseat. The brightening sky warning of the pending sunrise, I don't remember falling asleep.

I must have slept for hours, awaking the day well on. Panicking, I wondered about my daughters and left my office to find a quiet house. The remainder of a messy breakfast was in the kitchen with a note from the babysitter that she'd had taken the girls to the park and lunch. With trepidation, I descended the stairs to find Jenn still asleep on the floor, but now covered with a blanket. The only signs of Dom were indications of a hasty packing and departure, a spare sock and stick of deodorant lying on the floor where his bag had lain.

Not knowing what to do or say at such a moment, I returned to our marital bedroom, got cleaned up and left the house for an appointment I had in the next city.

I don't remember much of the three-hour roundtrip. A million feelings, emotions and questions swirled in my head; the dispassionate "scientist" of the previous night now replaced with a distraught "husband" whose understanding of his world had now been shattered.

Was his arrogance to blame? He had always assumed he was the central focus of the relationship the three of them shared. Had he missed something, blind for almost a decade to the personal connection that existed between the two of them? It had always been about me, or so I thought, increasingly furious at my conceit.

While I'd never suspected any previous infidelity, I couldn't help but now wonder at their true relationship.

PART 9

Returning to an empty house, I occupied myself and my mind in my office, occasionally looking over at the dark stairwell which led down to last night's event.

The sudden cacophony of screaming little girls signaled their return, my wife in tow with an arm loaded with shopping bags which I rushed to help with. Not meeting my eyes or uttering a world, she moved around the house like a ghost as the excited squeals of children regaled me with their adventures of the day. Dinner was an awkward affair with my wife and I speaking to the girls, but not one another.

"I'll put them to bed", I said to no one in particular, "....... and then I guess we should talk"

Almost an hour later, I returned to the main floor to find my wife sitting on the living room couch, wrapped in a throw blanket, from her body language clearly more symbolic armor rather than for warmth.

I sat in an armchair opposite, silent, as only the ticking of a hallway clock broke the stillness.

Eventually, I roused myself and asked,

"Are you OK?"

A single tear rolled down her cheek, her unfocused gaze on the floor. Again, silence followed for what seemed like a couple minutes when I suddenly heard a faint,

"Why did you leave?"

"You know I had a meeting today over in......"

"No. I'm not talking about that" she suddenly interrupted. "Why did you leave......... Us.......... last night?"

Her meaning now clear, I looked off to a blank wall to consider the very question I myself had pondered all day. After my own silent break, I said,

"I'm not exactly sure? I guess I felt like I was intruding on something. Something bigger than me had just happened. Something I was not a part of..... ", her gaze suddenly looking up at me, earning me a questioning look, as I realized the absurdity of my statement. "It's all such a blur! I don't fully understand what I'm saying."

I stopped for a moment to calm the rising passion in my voice, and continued, very neutrally.

"If I'm honest, it felt like you guys might want to be......... alone......or something? I guess things got a little out of hand, but it's obvious that what happened was not some random thing....."

Rousing herself to a quick retort, I pressed on, "..... I'm not saying it's happened before! I'm just saying that it felt like the two of you had a lot of pent up.......", pausing, searching for the right word, "....feelings? And I didn't think there was anything I could add to the situation".

Suddenly turning emotional, I added,

"Based on what happened, I guessed maybe you would prefer me NOT to be there. Have some privacy,...... so that you two could continue with whatever 'this' is".

I saw a sudden flash of anger in her eyes, followed by obvious effort to regain control of her emotions. After another long pause, she offered,

"I'm Sorry. I'm sorry if I........ if WE....... hurt you. I swear to you NONE of it was planned." Suddenly getting angrier again, she continued,

"It's not like all this happened behind your back! Without your knowledge! You were also there you know! Christ, you STARTED IT!!!!", as tears started to pour from both of us.

And there it was! My culpability in the entire thing?

Seeing my emotions churn, she replied, "I'm sorry. That was unfair"

"But true.......!", I croaked as I tried to speak through choked-up emotion, realizing how MY actions may have precipitated all this?

Jenn continued with a far-off gaze, a calmness to her voice suddenly replacing the tears and distress of moments before.

"Well, that may well be?", she paused and then, "Maybe we need just a little bit of time and space to figure things out? What we do to move past this? How we accept what happened..........."

Another pause, and then added,

"......and why it had to happen", pointedly turning toward me.

Sensing my rising confusion at her last statement, she continued with a resolved tone.

"I must explain a few things to you. They may not be easy for you to hear, but I've struggled with them for a long time......for years!...... and they have been part of my reality. For a long, long time I repressed then, denied them to myself. And I have paid the price emotionally, privately and alone in my misery. I need to tell you these things, if only for my own sake."

The lawyer in her continued,

"What I'm about to say is NOT an excuse for what happened. But you need understand..... some things that I have been struggling with of late. It might offer some context, especially since it may influence....", a quick hitch in her voice as emotion overtook her, tears streaming down her cheeks again "....what happens next to us".

"You need to understand this was not just a crazy night....... of random sex."

"THAT was obvious!", I churlishly replied, immediately regretting my tone.

To her credit, she didn't rise to the bait and after another deep breath, continued.

"I swear that something like this has NEVER happened before! Before things evolved last night, what we did had not even crossed my mind. It was not planned! And Dom didn't know anything about it!"

"I hope that if you love me you will listen to what I'm about to say with an open heart and a little compassion. That is all I ask. After that, I will respect whatever you decide to do."

As I prepared to be confronted with a number of dark nightmares I could only speculate about, she braced herself visibility and continued on,

"The last few years have been incredibly hard for me. For you as well, I know. For all of us! My work, your work and travels, the girls. That you know. But you also need to understand that I've been struggling inside with a lot of deep questions about myself, my life, my dreams and desires. I know that these phases are just a normal part of life. But I've been questioning everything!"

Seeing the alarm in my eyes, she quickly added,

"No! Not about you, or about us. Our marriage. Our family. Our home. NONE of that is in question. I feel guilty complaining about having the life I've always dreamed about. I don't regret ANYTHING that WE have together. I know I'm a very lucky woman!"

"Nonetheless, I have been thinking a lot about how different my life is now", as she looked over at the framed picture of our daughters on a side-table. "So much has changed since we were back in school. I felt I knew myself better then. What I wanted. Maybe not exactly where my life was going, but at least I was in control and could adjust as necessary. But now, Baby we've bought the ticket and the train has left the station!"

Trying to lighten the mood, I offered, "I thought men were the ones with a monopoly on the mid-life crisis!", which earned a small smile and laugh.

"Yeah, well...... women get them too! I guess, that is the whole point. For me, most of what I've been thinking about today is not so much about what actually happened last night, but what led up to allowing last night to happen! Again, not an excuse, but an attempt at a brutally honest explanation to you....and myself! For why I may have behaved the way I did, made the decisions I freely made, and the parts of me that drove those decisions. Things I have not....could not..... fully share with you before."

My suspicions suddenly raised, she noticed my reaction and immediately continued.

"Listen...... maybe, as you said, this isn't the time to go into a bunch a deep stuff. But please believe me when I tell you that I LOVE you! Always have. Always will. Again, something like this has NEVER happened before, I swear to you. You and the girls are my entire life! But let's set all that aside for a minute because I think it will help you understand what I'm about to say next......and hopefully help guide your decisions......"

As she paused, I could see the turmoil in her eyes. Then a torrent of emotion flooded out of her,

"The last two years. Our relationship. The Case. The fight at the restaurant. My terror at what Simone had done....or what might have happened to her! They were not the prologue! They were just the match that lit the fire."

"It goes MUCH further back. Nonetheless, recently having you away for months at a time. The strain of being a single parent. Collectively, it was all coming to a flash point. These were just the icing on a very bad cake, so to speak. And then..........it all seemed to resolve itself all at once!"

"The case settled. You were home. Dom was here. Suddenly, we were back to simpler times when it was just us Three Weirdoes. For a moment I even forgot about our two angels sleeping upstairs! How's that for being a horrible mother!"

"Regardless, in that moment I hadn't a care in the world! I was fed, watered....or 'wined'.... feeling warm and safe in our home, and enveloped by the love of......... My Guys", a quick pause and nervous glance my way for my reaction, before quickly moving on,

"I was happy, content and carefree for the first time in years".

With trepidation in her voice, she continued.

"Jason, I know what I'm about to say will hurt you. But I can't continue the self-deception, lies and denials to myself....or to you. Last night, more than anything else, was about coming to terms with myself. So, you need to hear this."

"You are the love of my life. A wonderful man and husband, a considerate lover, an amazing father and, most importantly, my friend. Everything I should ever want. But last night, I didn't want that! To be a Wife, or a Mother, or Upstanding Woman of the Community. I just wanted to be that girl of many years ago; carefree, unafraid, unjudged, worthy of pursing my own wishes and desires without limitation or guilt."

"We know that women view sex and love differently than men. While men seem to be able to separate the two, women normally don't distinguish between them. We need the physical and emotional situation to be just right. So last night the alchemy was just right, and I found myself abandoning all the ideas and rules that seemed to control my life every day."

"For a brief moment in time, I realized I could be completely free, pursuing my own wants and desires without the burden of society to limit me. Selfish, I know, but it was a revelation to finally accept the feelings and forces welling up in me. It was a sublime moment, when I noticed myself go from embarrassment and shame to acceptance and freedom, realizing that I deserved to have this moment without limitations. That it was Ok to surrender to the overwhelming feelings taking over my consciousness. To no longer deny myself, especially for reasons I never fully understood."

"Last night, my body was on fire. Every touch was electric! I felt uncontrollable forces course through me. In ways that men can probably never understand, I felt the overwhelming life-essence of being a Woman erupting from inside of me. My Being as a whole needed the mental and physical energy it craved at that moment. Women spend a lifetime trying to be in control. But at that moment, I didn't want to be in control! I wanted to surrender to everything, not caring about anything other than myself."

"You'll laugh, but it felt like some overwhelming biological force was driving me. All of a sudden, the clarity of what I wanted was frightening. My body completely focused on making the Woman in me whole. And to do this, at the very moment, I needed a Man!"