All Comments on 'Losing The Fight'

Don’t you dare leave us hanging!!

1 star

he knew she was alying whore and married her any way - no sympathy

he knew she was a lying whore who set him up and he played along anyway - no sympathy

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your story was filled with unnecessary filler making so long you just had to end it on a cliff hanger where the outcome of the relationship is already known based on your MCs stance meaning it isnt a cliff hanger at all

And why would he possibly ant to fight for her? Ok, he could win then dump her. Husband is completely unreal or just a complete idiot.

Gotta go along with wondering why he'd fight for her. She's already gone. I just hope the follow up has the asshole getting his ass kicked out to the street.

crappy to stop. Most likely will never complete it only a 1

We’ll done! Almost… I can’t wait for the next chapter!

TK

I think that Lisa said she would sex Dak to try to stop Pete from getting into a fight and she just misjudge or she was drugged. Take your pick.

anon.1

Totally Dishonest

Not to labeled this as Chapter 1. This is a deliberate, intentional act of deception. This "author" has the morals of Trump.

Given the similarities between the two plots, I am surprised that the author did not reference Richard Gerald's story "The Bridge" in his preface to this submission. Perhaps the author has never read RG's classic tale of a man who was tricked into a weekend long gathering hosted by his boss at which the boss and the MC's wife announced their plans to engage in a night of sex. The MC both expressed his disapproval and repaid the betrayal quite cleverly. RG's classic has inspired several other authors to write stories about a weekend gathering at which a "happily married" man is presented with plans to make him a cuckold.

Great Story, forget the stars look at all the comments, your really got a lot of people wound up!

You have a great start now FTDS.

I'm enjoying this so far, but how does Lisa turn on a dime from, "I won't betray you," to kissing DAK in front of her husband then saying she wasn't drughed, but was going to spend the weekend with DAK? That 180 was enough to give me whiplash. Hopefully she really was drugged, because that change of behavior alone is enough for me to not accept an outcome other than divorce.

I posting as anonymous because this website can't remember my id/password

Anyway, pretty good story. I hope there is an ending. I quit reading Daniel Steele because he doesn't know how to end a story. I like your srorytelling.

Please end your story?

I hope you're not one of those writers that leaves a story swinging in the wind until you see how it's gonna be received !

You need to have entire story complete before you post the first part . I for one will not wait until I've forgotten the whole premise when you decide to post next chapter weeks or months later !

No score until all is posted . Shortly , or I'll just keep scrolling past .

I hope chapter 2 clears up a few things we didn't get to see in this chapter. Sarah was firm that she didn't want to have any contac with Dak, so I'd like to know what traspired that convince her to go to the cabin. Her just being with no insight into why she reversed her position would leave me unsatisfied.

Good story so far. Yes similar to RG’ Bridge, but not at all the same dynamic with wife. Let’s hope Dak’s overconfidence allows the little guy to put him down. That would be great for Pete’s ego, but he lost his wife to Dak when she took his first phone call and then lied to Pete about it. “Fighting for you wife to save your family” is valid only when the predator’s attention is UNWANTED by your spouse. If she EAGERLY, WILLINGLY, WANTS to fuck the guy, you’ve already lost her. And, if she goes that easily, you aren’t losing much because you didn’t really “have” her before the predator showed up. A devoted spouse can easily resist: former lover, star jock, ultra rich guy, movie star, and the dreaded Slut Ray.

Anyway, not trying to finish your story, very much looking forward to your next installment.

Very well written story with some serious plot gaps. I don't want to criticize it to the point you get mad and not finish it, but I will point out the gaps. You've done a good job creating he characters on the sexual and relationship side but completely missed any interaction of them as a family and how their marriage had evolved to current day. Were both parents engaged with the kids, do family events together? No mention of what Dad would do to that and the impact on the kids. I agree on a similar story on this site - actually there have been several. I don't see the "real" version of our hero continuing on after the gate incident. Simply makes no sense other than to set stage for all the bullshit the other characters were going to do. It's also clear the punch was drugged, so leave that as an "out" for Lisa in chapter 2. I do hope you finish this tale but don't get yourself so caught on the "bizarre" that you leave us readers with a mess. 4* for now. If chapter 2 "fixes" some of the shit in this chapter, I'll go back an upgrade it to 5*. You're a good writer, just sometimes like to get reaction from readers just for the sake of a reaction. For the discriminating reader, that's annoying and dimities from the flow of an otherwise good read...

This is indeed a good story—but only if you finish it. I see from the comments many doubt you will, but since you say you have already sent the Ch02 I’ll take your word for it. Will score after you finish, but fully expect a 4 or 5, depending on how well you write the ending, not on how much I agree with it. So FTDS!

Amusing how so many readers can be so critical of other’s work yet never try to write one themselves. Folks it AIN’T as easy as it looks! Take it from one who has, in addition to a few finished stories a heck of a lot more unfinished ones on my hard drive—stories I just can’t seem to come up with an ending that works.

That’s the reason I wrote the ending of my last story first. Now all I gott’a do is come up with a beginning.

Thanks for the effort. PS I read most of your others also—not bad, not bad at all.

(To be continued? Hard to say.)

Dude?? Which is it?? You end your story with this bullshit and then you comment you would never do this. Which is it?? We hardly need more "authors" that can't or won't complete their stories.

So when she said she wants the orgy and she refuses to leave why did he stay and go jogging and then swim? He should just say fine! You win DAK and leave and file for divorce. Why stay with the slut?

1

I lost any emotional investment in Pete and Lisa or their marriage when Pete gets aroused watching the girl he loves eat her own Aunt's pussy. This establishes Pete as a cuck and Lisa as a slut. How could we then care about whether Lisa remains "faithful", whatever that means in those circumstances?

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And the whole Dak set-up is so over-the-top. He's in middle-management, yet he has an estate, bodyguards, is an MMA fighter and a sex god who has only to crook his little finger to have men and women falling to their knees, begging for his magic cock. It's thoroughly silly.

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And yet I'm looking forward to the next installment...

Lisa and Sarah have always been whores. He knew it and.married her any way. Now.Mr Perfect has come back to take her from him. After he finishes Dark, he needs to leave the whores behind. It's similar to The Bridge, A Promise Made by Hooked1957, and a couple of others I can't remember. You need to finish it. Pete seems to be a strong character, let him finish this with his manhood intact and Zak and the three whores broken.

So far so good, though I don't see why he didn't leave after the hard no conversation.

Now she says she wasn't drugged when she kissed him and wants to fuck him. Just tell her to expect to be served ASAP and he's going to fight her tooth and nail for the kids. Unlike she's trying to fight for them and her marriage at the cabin.

I know what I would do if someone beat shit out of me and forced their dick into my mouth... and I'd bite twice as hard if I thought they were trying to wreck my family.

But you must finish the story or the potential 5 will turn to a 1 as simple as that.

Great Story would like to see part 2

Go ahead and continue it and finish it off. The next part may not be this long. I am giving it a 4, but expecting an end to it.

Page 4

Hey Jerome, how’s your ass feeling?

Helluva story. Whatever happens, dump the bitch and blame himself. You marry a kinky slut, then anything that happens is your own fault.

Whole thing is disgusting but interesting. Assume Ng asshole is down, ghost them all.

Dak had his way on the location of the first meeting, despite Hubby’s objection. Why would he go to ANY more meetings, let alone one so disadvantageous to Hubby’s interests? Sweetie wants to go alone? Tell her he will use that time to see a family practice lawyer!

NEVER play the ‘other guy’s game!’ You will end up with cider in your ear … Damon Runyon - Guys & Dolls.

4*

I kept wondering about why this story seemed familiar, then I read that someone mentioned the Bridge, and it all fell into place as I had read that story and enjoyed it. The premise is the same, while some details were changed. I still haven't read part 2 yet, so I don't know much of anything else. I do wonder how much Jerome liked sucking DAK's cock in front of his wife, or being a cuckold for that matter. I sure hope Lisa gets her shit together and explains to their kids why her and Pete are divorced.

Spell check and a good editor.

Pete is a lawyer, supposed to be pretty bright....

Lisa gives up a job as a teacher to go work somewhere else, later her ex lover turns up as part of management to become her boss, as soon as I read that my "spider senses" went on alert, Coincidence .............. personally I think this was planned before Dak turned up.

Pete should have gone with his gut feeling.

Going to a place of Dak's choice so they could have a private talk .....yet other people were going to be there, should have had the talk at Pete and Lisa's or even better in a neutral spot like a park, why should the talk take much more than an hour.

I hope Pete's brain kicks in for part 2

I wonder why authors have to use their stories as self-ego builders. Silly device to use a fight.

Sounds like Pete was tasered.

The story is not done I'll tell when it's done & over!

Weak. No man as astute as Pete seemed to be would have stayed after he told wife "No" and she (seemed to) agree. Time right tehn to go ballistic and get out. Of course he also could have told her quit or we're over before the first day DAK showed up.

That said, I predict next chapter she will fuck DAK but sooner or later our boy Pete will lay some pain or death on DAK.

He knows what is going on and continues to stay. Silly and absurd story

Lisa was bad news from the beginning. I don't care if it was love at first sight. After talking to Sarah and hearing what Lisa & Sarah discussed he should have run away as fast as he could.

Please do not finish it. Even better, stop writing.

Definition of party slut. Enjoy the ride but don’t take her seriously

Dumbass for treating her like anything other than a party slut but you have to appreciate his toughness.

So many of your MCs forget Rule One: Don’t date sluts!

ZK

Well told. Will our hero hang on? Is Lisa toast?

Amazing.

Good story, but hard to say, whatever happens in sequel, that Lisa shouldn't be toast. Even if Dak is the only man in the world that she would betray her husband for (and he isn't), the level of this betrayal and the lies that got the two of them in the remote cabin and all the rest are so bad as to be unforgivable.

Wow, from the first page and thinking of the MC I was yelling in my head "run motherfucker! run!"

Thanks for your writing.

Childish and poorly informed. Kicks? The author doesn't understand sports martial arts let alone true violence, WHICH IS NOT A SPORT. This story RAACS, which is inconceivable IRL.

Shit story If the wife wanted him then leave her hubby STUPID slut BTB (jaybee186)

Dak is a POS. Lisa and Sarah are nothing but whores, and should be sold in the black market, then Pete can get his kids, after offing Dak and grind him up...

Damn, I didn't think it was possible, but you get WORSE with every story.

This one had my attention. 5 stars.

BTB! Divorce the cunt and sue the damn company

Suck his cock long enough to bite it as hard as you can with your molars. Grind hard. You may get killed, but he will have to do it, which might bother Lisa, some. Either way, you might damage him permanently.

If you cant finish the damned story, don't publish it.