Lost Bloodlines Ch. 03

"I'm sorry, Doctor," I said shakily as the adrenaline and endorphins of the erotic rush finally wore off. "But I never want to do that again. I...wasn't fully in control of myself. If I didn't come to my senses, I'm not sure if I would have stopped at just the volunteers." I avoided Campbell's curious gaze.

"But don't you want to discover more about your abilities? You're not just helping us, you'd be helping yourself if you'd let us continue these tests!"

I shook my head mutely. If that complete loss of inhibition and control was what was waiting for me on the other side, I wasn't sure I ever wanted to understand my powers better. It felt so good to be that powerful, dominant succubus, to let go of all my worries and just let the appreciation and devotion of others wash over me. It was intoxicating. But I could also feel it changing me, morphing me into...something else. Something I wasn't sure I wanted to be.

"I'll do other tests if you want. We can even try more holy water. Just never ask me to do something to someone else again. Please."

Dr. Campbell frustration and disappointment was apparent, but eventually he sighed and nodded his reluctant agreement. I only hoped that the government never gave this man free rein over testing monsters.

I gathered up my discarded clothes and began to dress, belatedly noticing that no one was staring at me, and Campbell's gaze had never dropped below my eyeline despite my nudity. Maybe they all knew better of the possible consequences, or perhaps my complete suppression of the pink aura had other effects. I didn't know, and right now I was too determined to get out of this place to care.

I stormed out of the room, but stopped as I saw Dr. Lima and the others standing in the hallway, looking distinctly out of place as they talked awkwardly among themselves. I had to say something.

"Look, I'm sorry for what happened back in there. I didn't mean for it to go that far and I just... I lost control. I'm sorry." Doctors Haskell, Smith, and Menéndez all just nodded and avoided my eyes. I choked back another awkward apology and turned to escape. Dr. Lima grabbed my arm as I started to walk away, and with a backwards glance at her coworkers, she gently pulled me farther down the corridor.

She turned to face me, and the look in her face was conflicted, but had a certain determined glint to her eye.

"I didn't expect anything to happen back there," she begun quietly. "I've lived my entire life without ever having felt sexual attraction or even arousal. But when you...did whatever it was that you did, I felt it." She paused and let out a little shiver that seemed involuntary. "I'm still feeling it, Lilith."

I almost didn't want her to continue, to hear her blame me for assaulting her and ruining how she lived her life, but I was too guilt-ridden to intercede. I felt like I deserved it.

But when she had regathered herself, it wasn't blame I saw in her eyes, it was a fanatic gleam of lust. It mirrored the same look she gave me just before I came to my senses, but this time, the entire weight of her intellect was behind her passion.

"It was the most incredible thing I've ever experienced." She breathed, her pretty face darkening a little as she looked at me. I stared at her in shock as she continued. "Please don't apologize for giving me this gift."

She stepped forward and I stood motionless as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. I saw the shocked and outraged faces of her coworkers behind us as she embraced me. I haltingly put my own arms around her back and she let out a little moan at my reciprocation.

"And I want more," she whispered into my ear, and her innocuously-placed hands on my lower back fell to grab at my ass through my pants. I let out a little gasp and she chuckled. She released me with a parting grope.

"I'll see you around," she said with a smile that was equal parts lustful and mocking, "Mistress." She walked away with a certain sway in her steps that most certainly had not been there before. As soon as I picked my jaw off of the ground, I beat a hasty retreat. Why couldn't all these damn women just let me wallow in my own self misery and guilt?

-00000-

I sat against the wall in a large atrium that held a few dozen chatting monsters as we all waited to be escorted back to the camp from the testing facility. My mind was awhirl with all the events of the past day and a half since I first woke up, and I was frantically trying to take into account all of the rapid switches in actions and personality that I had undergone.

I was Lilith, but I was also still Charles on some level. I was a man, but also a woman. I glanced downwards. Okay, maybe more woman than man now. I felt beautiful, desirable, and powerful, but also awkward, frightened, and withdrawn. Sometimes I was myself, and then others it was like I was watching my own actions through someone else's eyes. I had hoped my renaming would solve some of the identity issues I was dealing with all throughout yesterday, but it seemed they still lingered somewhere under the surface.

And perhaps most distressingly, who was that woman inside my mind? What was the crimson sea? Was it entirely inside my own mind, or was I somehow accessing some other realm? Why did my powers come from there, and how could I access them without wanting to hurt or dominate others?

I was, in short, having a bit of a crisis when a large shadow fell over me. I looked up, but I had been so lost in thought that it took me several seconds to recognize the figure looming over me.

"Cyrilla," I smiled wanly. The massive werewolf offered her own awkward smile. "I didn't know they had you here too." I patted the ground next to me, and Cyrilla shuffled over and slid down the wall, hitting the ground with a very audible thump. "So what did the eggheads have you doing?"

"Mostly chasing sticks," she rumbled in a monotone.

I jerked my head in her direction in disbelief, until she cracked a smile and began to chuckle at my expression. A laugh rose unbidden out of me, and I smacked her on one meaty thigh.

"Very funny, you big mutt, I didn't know you had it in you." She just chuckled louder.

"We were doing strength testing on my fully wolfen form," she finally admitted. "Turns out I can snap steel beams like toothpicks with a well-placed bite." She didn't sound particular happy or enthused by the discovery. The werewolf's face fell back into its usual maudlin expression and she looked away from me.

"I, uh, kinda caused an orgy?" I spoke to break the ensuing silence. Her face snapped back around with an eyebrow fully raised. I blushed. "I didn't really mean too, I was just trying to make people feel attracted to me. It just got out of control when it, uh, worked."

Cyrilla's face was unreadable as she stared down at me, and then she shook her head and mumbled something under her breath. I could have sworn it was something along the lines of "Who could've seen that coming?"

"To be honest," I continued, "It was actually terrifying in retrospect. I was like a different person, and I basically enslaved a bunch of people to be my pets. I so wanted to make something useful out of this fucking body and it just...hurt people. They didn't deserve that, and I don't know how I should feel about it. Am I something evil now? All the soldiers seem to think so, and conventional mythology would agree." I declined to mention the rather confusing response of Dr. Lima.

Cyrilla's masculine features softened as she listened to my confession. She pushed an arm behind me and grabbed me around my waist, lifting me in the air effortlessly as I let out an undignified squeak. She set me down between her outstretched legs. I don't really know what I was expecting at that point. A hug? Another confession of lust that seemed to be getting frighteningly common?

So when I felt her large fingers began to brush themselves through my long hair I was deeply confused. I turned to look back at her but Cyrilla stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.

"When I was a little girl, my mother would brush my hair every night before I went to sleep," she started, her hand moving back to my dark hair. "We were rather poor, and I didn't get to see much of her except late at night, so this little ritual became everything to me. She did her best to raise me, despite being on her own." Her fingers, though bulky and clearly a little unsure as she navigated their new size, slid through my hair in repetitive patterns, pulling pleasantly at my scalp with each pass. Unconsciously, I began to relax against her hard chest as she continued to speak softly.

"She passed away when I was 15."

"I'm sorry," I muttered.

"It's okay," she softly said, still passing my tresses through her fingers. "It was a long time ago now. After she passed away and I entered foster care, I knew exactly what I wanted to be. I wanted to give people the same happiness that she gave me every night, and I dreamed of being a hair stylist." She let out a little rumbling chuckle. "Silly, I know. But it's what I wanted to do."

Her fingers began to pull oddly at my hair, twisting and weaving, and I realized that she was braiding it.

"I chased that dream, and I made it happen. Worked up at a boutique, even managed to start my own after a decade or so. It was a simple life, but I was happy." I heard her low voice catch on the last sentence.

"And then one day I collapsed at the store, and when I woke up, I was this...horrible, thing. I spent every day making other women feel beautiful, and now I was this hulking monstrosity of a man. When I woke up from the seizure, the people around me ran away in terror. I was scared and confused, and when SWAT rolled in, I just let them take me."

At this point I was boneless between her legs, my eyes closed as I listened to the low tenor of her voice and enjoying every pull of hair at my scalp and the lingering touches of her fingers against the back of my neck.

"Sam found me on day one as I was bawling my eyes out in the common room in one of men's barracks. He helped me, reassured me, taught me a little bit about living as a man to make me feel more comfortable. I can't say it really felt better, but at least I wasn't as lost as before."

She paused for minute, and just continued her work in silence. "I hate the sound of my own voice. I hate looking in the mirror. I hate how everything is hard and hairy and bulky when I used to be soft and pretty and...normal."

She let out a shuddering breath behind me, and her fingers finally stilled. "I just...wanted you to know that I understand. You came over to me and gave me a hug when the only person to even try to touch me since I woke up was Sam. Whatever we are now, we're not alone."

"We're all still figuring out what our bodies can do now. So long as you know what you did was wrong and you tried to make amends, it'll be alright. You're still you."

I turned around, and this time she let me. A few tears were sneaking down her broad face as she gave me a sad smile. I threw my arms around her neck and gave her a fierce hug as my mind processed her words. I had said much the same to her when we first met, but I certainly hadn't even been convinced myself. I just wanted her to not feel so alone anymore.

Maybe she was just doing the same for me, but I didn't care. I needed it.

"Thank you, Cyrilla."

I pulled back from the hug and her smile had turned into something much brighter. "Please," she said. "Call me Cyri."

"Like an iPhone?" I giggled.

She rolled her eyes and smirked. "Yes, Lilith, like an iPhone."

We sat together for a while longer until a call came out to gather up for our return. She pulled me to my feet, but her hand stopped to rest on the hanging braid she had fashioned.

"Thank you for letting me do what I love again," she said, and I looked at my reflection in a nearby window. My dark locks were arranged in a series of intricate braids framed by several sections of free-hanging hair. It was beautiful work, and I beamed a thankful smile up at Cyri before I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the assembling monsters.

Come what may, at least there were people here that I could count on. The friends I used to have were mostly fair-weather or through Faith, but I felt the beginning of something much deeper in just this first day of meeting others like me. I could make this work, so long as they were there to keep me on the right path.

A devious smile briefly graced my lips. I wondered if I couldn't put some constructive use to that pink mist when Victoria and I were alone again that night.

-00000-

AN: And Lilith finally gets some sexy times, though not entirely as Charles might have been used to. This one ended up being a bit longer than I expected and took longer to write, but still in the manageable territory for future installments. As always please let me know what you think of the story in the comments below!

-HistoricallyInaccurate