Love: At What Cost

By the time she got home, she could barely see. She went straight to her room and slammed the door. She didn't want to deal with anyone else. Kim came in as the door slammed. She wondered what happened as she listened.

"Mom...? Are you crying...?"

***

Michelle knew she had some crow to eat. She wanted to go straight to Linda, but life got in the way. First, she forgot her car was still at Linda's work. Then a rush dress order came in, that she had to finish. Over the next three days, Michelle only got a few hours of sleep. She tried to call, but no one answered. She didn't want to leave a message, this was too important.

He first tingle of fear was when she noticed that Linda wasn't at work when she took a taxi to get her car. She tried her work number to be told that Linda would be out of the office for the next few days... and if she wanted to leave a message.... She was panicked as she headed towards Linda's house.

She pulled behind the Linda's car in the drive and didn't hesitate as she went through the back door. She found Linda standing there. Michelle stopped and just looked at the woman she couldn't live without. In less than three months, she couldn't stand the thought of Linda not being there.

Linda knew Michelle was there and was waiting. She wanted to jump into her arms, but didn't know if Michelle had come to grips with the way she felt for the tall woman.

"Hey Sugar, can I have a hug?" Michelle asked, afraid to touch Linda incase this was a dream. Linda collapsed into Michelle's arms and hugged as tight as she could.

"Hi Babe... I've missed you." She wept into her lover's breasts.

"Oh Linda... I love you so much... I've never had what you've given me. It scares me sometimes." Michelle tried to explain.

"I'm sorry... I can't help it." She sniffed happily. So we're good...?"

"Sugar, my dad said you were strong enough to bring me to my knees. He was right. I can't live without you... I'm sorry... I'll try and deserve your love." She couldn't get enough of the shorter woman in her arms.

"Just love me... That's all I want..." Linda was so happy she could walk on air.

"What are you doing here?" Kim asked when she walked into the kitchen. "Mom's been crying for days. What did you do to her?" Kim barked at Michelle.

"Kimberly..." Linda started to correct her daughter.

"I'll handle this sweetheart." Michelle said as she kissed Linda. "Okay, shall we go into the other room?" Michelle walked into the seating area. As soon as Kim followed her, Michelle let her have it.

"Okay little miss, just what is your problem?" Michelle pounced.

"I hate you... You've made my mom into a lesbian... I'm the laughing stock of school because of you...!"

"Let's get one thing clear... I didn't change your mother into anything... She isn't a lesbian... I am! You might want to learn the difference. She loves a lesbian, but I'm sure there is not another woman your mother would be interested in... Trust me, I know... I've seen them throw themselves at her and she was completely oblivious. And for your information I was hands off, until she seduced me!"

"That's just gross... The thought of you and mom on my dad's bed doing that... I never thought she'd find a woman... I wanted her to find a guy...!"

"What, you are okay with some man putting his hands all over your mom, but if it's a woman... that's gross? How many men have you seen? Never mind... What's worse... the fact that your mom found someone to love and I'm a woman, or because it was your idea in the first place?" Michelle was destroying Kim's perverted logic.

"I hate you!" Kim yelled not knowing how to respond, as her world collapsed around her.

"No you don't... you don't even know me, so you can't hate me. You might hate the idea of me. But sister, I'm going to be around... Not my choice..." She waved off Kim's response. "So, we're going to have to learn to live with each other..." Michelle pressed; knowing they had to reach some middle ground.

"If you are really upset about your father bed, I'll tear it down today and give it to you." Linda said from the doorway. "We'll buy you a new mattress and you can have it."

"Kim, you know that dress you wore to your dance? The one you loved so much... I made it... Are you going to throw it away now because I made it?" Michelle asked trying to get to the root of the problem.

"You didn't! You couldn't, it was such a girly dress. Some bitch dyke couldn't have made it." Kim's world view was altering too fast for the girl to keep up.

"Sweetie, I'm a lesbian, not a dyke... when you can use your head, I'll explain the difference..." Michelle corrected.

"So, Kimmy...? Do you want your father's bed...? I'll give you the whole set if it means that much to you. You'll be leaving for college soon, and you will need some furniture in the sorority house." Linda walked next to Michelle, and put her arm around her, showing her stubborn daughter where her priorities were.

"Kim, you don't have to like me, but we do have to learn to get along." Michelle said softly to the confused child, giving her the time she needed to learn some of the realities of life.

"Yes I do...! I suppose we can avoid each other until I leave for school..." Kim said as she spun around and ran upstairs.

"I guess we're looking for a new bedroom set today." Linda said as she leaned into Michelle.

"Only if I pay for half... If we're going to do this... it's going to be an equal partnership." Michelle tensed for Linda's argument.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Babe." Linda said, leaning up to kiss her lover.

***

That summer would have been perfect if it wasn't for Kim's little tricks and gripes. Tony was sick of it, so he stayed away as much as he could. He liked Michelle, but his sister was determined to cause problems. Tony decided if Kim was there causing problems, he would stay at a friend's house. If she was out, he would get to know Michelle better.

Kim figured if direct confrontation didn't dislodge the interloper, she go the passive aggressive routine. The only break was when her Grammy called in tears. "What's wrong Grammy?" Kim asked concerned. She had never heard her grandmother cry before.

"I need your mom... I've lost everything." The old woman cried.

"Mom... Michelle! Come quick!" Kim screamed.

"What's wrong...?" Linda asked as they ran to the kitchen.

"It's Grammy, she's crying." Kim handed her mom the phone.

"What's wrong mom?" Linda said into the phone, putting it on speaker.

"I've lost everything... all Harold's letters... My degree... everything...!" She broke down over the phone.

"Are you hurt? Where are you?" Linda was instantly worried.

"I'm at the hospital... they couldn't save anything." She moaned.

"Which hospital... we're on the way!" Linda yelled over her mother's distress.

Michelle drove. She knew Kim and her mother were in no condition to drive. She watched as the two held onto each other until they could find out what happened. Linda, in all her years, not even when her father died, had ever heard her mother so broken.

They ran into the hospital and asked. "Which room is Maud Stevenson in?" Following the directions, they were met by a Fireman/EMT who informed them.

"Your mother will be fine... She had some smoke inhalation, but she's okay."

"What happened?" Kim asked out of reflex.

"There was a fire at her Condo. It started in the adjoining wall of the unit next to hers. By the time we got it under control... Well, it's a mess... between the smoke and water damage." He handed Linda a card. "Here is the number to call so they can tell you when it is safe to go and get what's left... It's not going to be much I'm afraid... Sorry."

They took Linda's mom home and she stayed with them for a week, before they would let anyone in to the unit. Mrs. Stevenson was recuperating, but saddened that everything that mattered to her was gone.

Oh, she wasn't upset about the furniture or even her jewelry, other than her and her husband's wedding rings. She said that was what insurance was for. She was devastated that all of their love letters were destroyed. She cried over what was left of the frame of her sheepskin from Vassar. Even most of her pictures were damaged.

Michelle called one of her friends, who did photo work. She paid for the pictures that could be restored, to be restored. She moved her stuff so they could set up the extra room for Linda's mother, even though it meant having to stay at work longer. It was Roger who came up with a better solution.

"Why doesn't she stay with me...? I have the room and you can resume your lives. You sure you don't want to become my office manager?" He asked Linda again.

Linda put him off again. "Maybe later... they're doing better at work... We can see if mom wants to do that though. She's been through a lot."

"Sounds like a fine idea to me." Maud said as she walked in. "Gets me out of your hair and Roger and I have many friends in common... It might be the perfect solution for both of us. I'm in the way here, and don't think I've missed Kim's little tricks either." She stated as she took a seat.

"Good...good. The house has been a bit empty since Michelle moved in here. We can keep each other company without getting underfoot. We've sure lived a lot of life haven't we Maud?" Roger laughed.

"We sure have... Like that time we all went skinny dipping in Harold's father pond... I think that was when you were conceived Linda..." Maud went on to tell her story as Linda blushed.

"Now you know how I feel mom...." Tony said from the door. "I'll help move her stuff... Hi Michelle, or should I start calling you mom number two?" He smiled at Michelle's startled look.

"Yes, why don't you all go do what you need to do? I think I need to have a little private chat with Kimmy before she heads off to college." Maud said, regretting what had to be done. When Kim came home, she was met by her grandmother.

"Where is everyone?" She asked irritated. "Why did they leave you alone Grammy...?" It was the opening Maud waited for.

"I thought it would be a good time for you and me to have some tea and a little chat. I've got the service set up in the sitting room... this way young lady." She led Kim to the wingback chair and waited until Kim sat down before she got down to business.

"Okay little lady, what do you have to say for yourself? Your behavior has been atrocious." Maud opened up, and then let the startled girl have it.

"What do you mean?" Kim asked shocked.

"I mean, how you've treated Michelle. Do you have any idea how hard it was for your mother to find someone to love again? Then she brings her home to have you trying to break them up. How dare you!" Maud blasted her granddaughter.

"But... Mom wasn't supposed to get involved with a woman... All my friends have..." Kim tried to defend her actions.

"Kim, I think it's past time you grow up and stop being such a selfish little bitch! Who's more important...? Your stupid friends, or your mother? My God child, you're going to represent me and my family in less than a month at one of the most exclusive schools in the nation. Don't you dare insult me with your close mindedness...! You are getting to go to Vassar only on my say so... don't make me regret it." Kim had never been spoken to like that before by her beloved grandmother.

"But Grammy... How can you...?" It would have hurt less if Maud had slapped her.

"Are you so blinded that you can't see how much they love each other...? You are the one who brought them together... You should be proud of that, not ashamed! You helped your mom find the one person who could heal her shattered heart. I always knew she never find another man. There are none who could've compared with your father. Like I said little girl... it is past time you grew up and started looking at just how big the world really is!" Maud put down her tea cup and kissed Kim's head.

"I love you, but don't fool yourself for a second... I have the power to yank you out of that college if you don't change you ways." Having finished her say, she left Kim to ponder life.

***

Michelle held Linda as she cried when they put Kim on the plane for New York. Linda didn't know if her daughter would ever speak to her again. "It will be okay mom." Tony said as he rubbed her back and looked into Michelle's worried eyes.

"You sit with her in the back... I'll drive us home." The growing young man said to the second most important woman in his life.

"If you think she's going to budge before that plane is out of her sight... you're fooling yourself buster." Michelle said as she led Linda over to the windows. They stood together, the three of them, until the big aircraft was lost in the clouds.

When they got home, Michelle told Tony. "Go get us some pizzas I'm going to give her a glass of wine and she if I can get her to lay down and rest."

"Okay... if I haven't told you... I love you, mom two." He said and kissed her cheek.

"Oh get, buster..." Michelle instantly went as teary as her distraught lover. She joined Linda in bed and tried to sooth some of the hurt away.

"Love me..." Linda said softly.

"I do sweetheart, trust me, I do." Michelle replied into Linda's hair as they hugged. "You'll never guess what the big lug told me before he went to go get dinner."

"What's that Babe?" Linda snuggled into Michelle's arms.

"Damn it, that boy is going to make me cry... He said he loved me and called me mom two." She sniffed, trying to hold back the tears.

"Make love to me sweetheart...." Linda leaned up and kissed the woman who she couldn't help but love. "Make me remember the cruise, our first time... I love you... my precious darling..." Linda muttered between kisses, as Michelle started undressing her.

Tony was going to knock on their door, but heard the soft moans and sounds of his mothers' making love. He smiled and put their girly pizza in the oven to keep warm and made himself scarce.

***

Linda ended up quitting her job, taking half the staff with her. She took over the Office Manager's position at Roger's main office. She buried herself into the new job so she couldn't think of the time since she last heard her daughter's voice.

September flew into October and after November; Linda despaired of hearing her oldest child's voice for Christmas. What she didn't know, Tony had talked to Kim, and set up a video link so they could all open gifts together on Christmas morning.

All morning Christmas Eve, Linda would ask anyone available if they heard from Kim. She got her daughters message a week earlier and was on pins and needles. By midnight she was crying in Michelle's arms.

Michelle gave Tony a meaningful look, telling him if this surprise didn't go off, someone was going to get hurt. At five after twelve, the computer beeped. At six after twelve, Kim's smiling face flashed on the screen.

"Hi mom..." Kim squealed.

"Hi baby... I miss you so much... How is school going?" Linda was now crying tears of joy.

"Great, but I was too busy to get home this break... I'm hoping for spring, if not I'm spending the summer at home." Kim said happily

"Oh, honey, spend spring break with your friends... You're only young once. Just call your old mom once in a while and I'll be happy." Linda smiled as Michelle rubbed her back.

"Mom, if you get us cell phones that can text... that'd be easier for me. I don't really have time to call, but I could text everyday... Tony can set it all up... He can even show you how to use it..." Kim smiled again as she watched the scene at home. They opened their gifts and Michelle presented Linda with a matched set of rings.

Kim clapped with Tony as their mom put Michelle's ring on and Michelle put on Linda's. Michelle thought Kim's reaction was weird, but she chalked it up to being Christmas. She was just happy that the surprise had worked so well, even if it meant keeping a cloth to wipe her lover's tears.

***

It was a warm balmy day at that airport, as Linda nervously paced. She knew she was early, but she always hated flying. Her lover tried to calm her down.

"I've got you Sugar... It will be okay. We've made it this far." Michelle was just as nervous, but didn't want to show it. Kim was coming home and she didn't want a scene. Maud and her father were waiting with the welcome home party at her dad's place, but Michelle didn't know what type of reaction she'd get from Kim.

They didn't part on the best of terms and it caused the one sore spot in her relationship with Linda. They waited in the luggage area, knowing they couldn't get any closer to Kim's gate.

She jumped when her cell rang. "Hello... No Tony, take another lap... we've haven't seen her yet... Love you too... Bye." She put the phone in her pocket. "Sugar, you weren't this nervous when our plane took off. She'll get here." She told Linda, grabbing her so she wouldn't crash into the passing people.

"I know Babe. It's been so long..." Linda complained as she wrapped her arms around her lover.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" Michelle tried to divert her attention, then remembering the last time they were by the luggage rack. She leaned down and kissed her with all the emotion she could muster.

Kim ran down the ramp. The first thing she saw, her mother being kissed by Michelle. So much had happened at school and she had learned more than she ever thought she could. She squealed and ran to meet them.

Linda heard her daughter's voice and smiled. She turned just in time to be hugged by the exuberant Kim. Michelle was trying to disengage, but since she was held by both mother and daughter, she couldn't escape.

"I'm so happy to be home..." She kissed her mom, then totally shocked Michelle and kissed her too. "I've missed you... Where's the Dork? I have so much to tell you... Hey mom, can I talk to Michelle for a second... you can grab my bag it's the red one." Kim babbled happily.

The women shared a glance. "Yeah baby girl... Tony should be waiting for us outside."

"Thanks mom..." Once Linda was out of ear-shot Kim faced Michelle. "I owe you such an apology... I was such a shit; I don't know why you didn't bitch slap me..."

"What brought this on Kim?" Michelle was flabbergasted. "The reason I didn't, was because I love your mom."

"I know... I was so afraid you were stealing her away... anyway can you forgive me?" Kim asked still with her arms around Michelle, who couldn't remember a time Kim had ever willingly touched her before.

Michelle looked over at Linda and saw the happy tears in her eyes.... "You see that over there? You've made your mom very happy.... So, yeah I can forgive you... I was eighteen once too." She was going to say more but was stopped by Kim's kiss.

"Oh, thank you... thank you... I'm so happy mom found you... Tony says he calls you mom number two... would you mind if I did too?"

"Are you hitting on my girl?" Linda asked with a smile.

"Oh, never... She's all yours." Kim threw an arm around her mother and pulled her in to a group hug. "I'm just happy to be here. Although, you did catch one sexy woman..." Kim giggled. "It could be enough to make us mere mortals jealous and she's so talented too. Besides, I um, have someone else that... well actually two and I can't choose between them." Kim said in a rush.

"So, you're breaking guys' hearts already?" Michelle teased, not expecting what came next.

"No... well ones a guy... Belinda.... Well, she so special... I hate this... sometimes, because if I'm with one, I feel like I'm cheating on the other. Is love always this confusing?"

"I see..." Linda said looking at her lover. "Is Belinda the one who opened your eyes about us?"

"Yeah, and then there's Mike... well it just happened and... Belinda said it was okay but..." Kim was talking fast because she didn't want to discuss this with her brother around.