All Comments on 'Love, Family, and Betrayal Ch. 01'

who's the daddy? Whay happened for 3months. Inquiring minds want to kbow Part 2?

Coercion is still rape. That dickhead Logan would have known it. Plus, the arsehole Cody would have also known it, given he worked for the local Police. So, a ridiculous premise.

Nice!

I'm looking forward to seeing where this will go.

'What happened to Melody over those three months? This first chapter may seem simple enough, but the next chapters will deal with all-too-realistic topics like C-PTSD (Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and a woman being blamed for her rape by her own family.' It will be interesting to see how you will explain where the actual rape was. There was only a little bit of feigned reluctance but otherwise it was pretty consensual. Even the situation was not really that forceful. She could have said 'no' at any moment. Who would care about a fine for trespassing if the alternative was 'actual' rape. If she was truthful to her family it would make sense they wouldnt believe that she was raped, its already hard to believe with reading the story how it was written. And Cody leaving her? To be expected, her whole demeanor after they were done was screaming 'I had the best sex ever and enjoyed it immensly' and the child is probably not Codys. So yeah nothing unexpected. Although she should have thought about leaving him, offering his wife as a compensation for trespassing? Dick move, but like I said, Melody could have said no, at any moment.

Your calling what happened a rape? She consented and eventually returned to scene of the said rape?

Honestly, the writing here is promising overall, but there's a lot of unnecessary weeds to wade through to get to the naughty bits, which were not remotely hot enough to be worth all the yawn inducing reading it took to get there.

If you are going to put readers through laborious details thrown in for atmosphere, do us a favor, either write about things you actually know about, or some put effort into research.

To wit: The bit where the rapist serves wine to the victim. You could have at least made Logan look like the kind of rich dumbass who spend ridiculous money and doesn't know shit about wine, but instead, you told us all that the you're the kind of writer who writes about shit they don't know about.

1) Pays a thousand bucks for a bottle of California Cab.

A really great Cabernet can go for about $75 and you can get a good one for less than $20. Yeah, you could find a bottle of wine for a thousand bucks or more, but then he goes and...

2) Chills it

Unless room temperature is over a hundred degrees, a Cabernet is served at room temp, like most other red wines.

Cabernet Sauvignon is a red wine. Start your research there, or just leave wine out, along with all the other shit you don't know shit about.

I'd encourage you to keep trying, but I'm more inclined to ask please, just stop.

There's better things to do with all the many hours you obviously put into this. Like maybe write about something worthwhile, that you actually know about or are learning about.

Oh, and the abuse education information at the end? Really?

Whatever helps you sleep at night, you just basically wrote a rape story and made the rapist the good guy.

That's just like a stamp on your work that screams "We live in a fucked up world, let's keep it that way!"

We don't need a lecture, thanks.

Wow well written and look forward to next chapter

@Whackdoodle

You are correct about rape being about power, not sex. As I mentioned, physical arousal can be involuntary. That doesn't mean she was willing or she asked for it. I also alluded to how it would've been painful without Logan making an effort not to hurt her.

@LenardSpencer

Yes, rape is still rape. Please keep in mind this is a fantasy. Cody was making an impulsive offer without thinking it through. I included the warnings about rape specifically because, in real life, Logan would be the bad guy. Again: this is a fantasy, and rape fantasies are common even in women.

@Bham487

See what I said above. She never asked for it. Legally and morally, it makes no difference if involuntary physical arousal was present or not.

@Thorlol

The reluctance was not feigned. Melody's defining character trait is her loyalty. She could've said no, but didn't because she believed the consequences (like Cody losing his job) left her no choice, even though Logan had decided he would respect it if she did speak up.

Anonymous 1

I don't know much about wine, especially fancy wine since I am not rich. I did attempt to do some basic research; thank you for pointing out the gaps in my knowledge. Does that single scene ruin the entire work?

Anonymous 2

Apparently, some people do need a lecture.

Ignore the trolls.

this was so good can't wait for the next part!

Why would she go back to her rapist? Does she have Stockholm syndrome?

Well, you can call it rape but the whole scene screamed the opposite. I am completly agree with Whackdoodle on that point. Obviously this will be the start of a romance between the so called rapist and his victim, why else would she go back to him. I mean, if she was so against it why was she enjoying it physically and mentally even before the main event? No thoughts about 'I dont want this' 'Why does he want to hurt me' 'Please let him stop'. Nothing spoken like 'Please stop' 'Let me go' 'I dont want this'. Your reply to Bham487 is actually correct but if her case would go before a court she wouldnt win it if she didnt lie. That is the core problem I have with the beginning of your series. There is a warning at the beginning and at the end plus fitting tags. But the story was anything but that. Unbelievable it may sound but I am actually glad about that, I like storys with alot of drama and dark elements but dont enjoy reading about pain and suffering for entertainment. In the end I have the feeling that her trauma when explained will most likey not about 'I was raped' but more about guilt for enjoying it immensly and going for it. She had all the choices.

@Thorlol

Fair enough. If I made it seem like Melody is a willing participant who wants it, then that was an implementation error on my part. My attention was/is to portray Logan as a good guy, but I added the warnings to remind readers that in real life, Logan would be the bad guy.

Anonymous

Logan offered to help her if she ever needed anything. As mentioned at the end, she only goes to him because her family has abandoned her. She has nothing left to lose.

A lot of people seemed to have missed my point about how just because rape isn't painful doesn't mean it isn't rape anymore.

Always the same with these rape stories, the rapist has a huge cock so the women enjoys it. Makes me really question the sexual skills of the authors who write these stories.

Also that last line, dedicted to all domestic abuse victims, what a joke. You are going to make her fall in love with her rapist and write a line like that, man that is very questionable.

Anonymous

(SPOILER ALERT) Note that I said domestic abuse. As in, she was unfairly blamed and abused by her husband. No one deserves that. I added that warning at the end to hopefully help people identify the signs that someone they know is being abused.

> My attention was/is to portray Logan as a good guy

Dafuq? What kinda drugs were you using while coming up with that idea?

> Dedicated to all domestic abuse victims

I am sure they would appreciate a story where the rapist turns out to be a good guy...

I found this story interesting enough. Her husband is a dick, she seems to be loyal but beaten down and her husband taking the event out on her was a natural progression. Looking forward to her being treated better and her husband, not so much.

So far I have given all four of your stories a 5 star rating but here I have to mention that in all four stories I noticed you've fell into the literotica dot dot dot paradox. Authors have expressed it is how they express a pause. As a retired Editor, I ask, isn't that left up to the reader?

OK, you people got it all wrong. it was not rape because she AGREED to the sex for letting them go without giving them a police record, not at any time did he manhandle her forcing himself on her, she willingly gave herself to him.

Also, the hubby offered his wife, that it was his idea, and that wouldn't happen to her if he had not done so, so the hubby is to blame, not her

sexymeup:

Thank you. It is the husband's fault, not hers. I don't know why more people don't seem to get that.

RanDog025:

The triple dot is how a momentary pause or trailing sentence is shown in any novel. It is useful for conveying emphasis or separating parts of a sentence. Is there any other way of doing that?

Thanks for the five stars.

Thank you for the information at the end. That was wonderful to see especially on a site designed just to bring pleasure, joy or distraction. It really brings reality back into focus of the things others are dealing with. So, thank you for a great story and an even better ending (with info). Great job!

cant wait for next chapter, im a big fan!

Anonymous:

Thank you. I needed that.

Clarissa72:

You're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I added that specifically because I hope it will help someone spot abuse. All too many people think PTSD is just being shellshocked or hysterical for the rest of your life. In reality, each of us reacts to trauma in our own different way, sometimes counterintuitively. It never simply goes away and you return to your previous self; it remains with you for the rest of your life. But that doesn't mean that survivors can never find happiness.

Bring on Chapter 2. I hope Logan marries her, and she does wonders with numbers for him

Blackmail is rape. . . Some people don't see that. I would love to read a chapter 2 of this story. I would love to see Logan and her have a happily ever after. She was loyal, but Cody was too proud. I can't wait to see how this comes out. Also, since she is pregnant, some milkiness could be awesome in chapter 3

Ellienora35:

Thank you! I've dealt with so many trolls that it's really refreshing when people tell me they enjoyed it.

You seem to get it better than most: Melody was loyal to her husband, but his pride and inability to admit fault turned him toxic.

Logan and Melody will be getting their happily ever after. I planned that from the beginning. But the next chapters will deal with Melody having to deal with the trauma of her entire family betraying her, no matter how loyal she was.

Interesting story, which brings up a lot of morality questions.

One topic that I didn’t see anyone else discussing was whether it is right for the rich minority to buy up and fence off larger areas of land form the majority of the population, many of who can’t even afford to buy their own home.

Anonymous:

LOL. Even I hadn't considered that angle. You are absolutely right, though, in that it does bring up morality questions. That was my goal. In future chapters, we will see more questions about morality being raised while still making clear there is a difference between right and wrong. Thanks for reading.

lol the author spouts crap by putting in a disclaimer pretending to be morally upright while writing rape/blackmail/criminal fiction and then can't write for shit. The guy works for the police and this whole scenario is alright? Trespassing does not suddenly allow you to handcuff and imprison/blackmail people. Lots of leaps and bounds to make this fiction work. Let alone believing that simply caring about the others pleasure more suddenly makes the pain not as bad. It's basically a 15 year olds dirty writing assignment that maybe gets a D-

Anonymous:

Last I checked, this isn't school. You are not required to grade me. I clearly marked that this was a fantasy that would be immoral in real life. If such a thing offends you, then please do not waste your own time in the NonCon section. If you did not enjoy that, I respect that, but I would like to point out that people who go around throwing insults are rarely morally outstanding themselves.

Excellent build up so far. Totally believable, even though it is hard to accept. Enjoyable reading.

114FSO:

Thanks for reading. I've got two more chapters published and another in progress. I hope you enjoy them.

*looks at last author comment*

*looks up at review/rating system*

Maybe there is a grading system? And you should be rated 1/5 or less. Around say a D-?

Better luck next time.

Anonymous:

You never explained why you gave me a D-, so I have no way of knowing how I can improve.

I enjoyed this, yeah, I don't understand why some people criticize a writer for tackling certain subjects. This is all assumed to be fiction.