All Comments on 'Love In War'

I like this. A lot. :)

So is Alexia Charlotte's sister or is there somebody else to be introduced? When daddy says 'your sister' does he mean Alexa?

Thats the only question I have otherwise its a good opening.

Where in her story did she say that this was a white woman, black man story she told you from the beginning that this story was a black woman white male story she also told you if it was an issue to not read it, in yet you chose too!? Really! Get you a life or better yet dont read anything in the interracial category...

to the writer i love this story sorry I had to speak on another person comment.

-cumonmi

soooo is she just going to be a pretty face that gets run over by the ego of a guy that wants more power

I like this!!!! I love Leo already.

Very interesting start so far. Loooking forward to reading more. Please update soon

Redlion has a very good point. I hope you prove us wrong!

Charlie sounds like a spoiled pretty girl and those aren't the type of girls I root for. And Leo sounds like the typical guy that's holding onto her because she can't stop loving him yadda yadda yadda. Good start, but don't let it follow this predictable path, please

You have peak my interest. Should does not sound spoiled but she does seem to go along with what is inspect of her...Please make her a dark skin woman, many time writer want to make them light with green eyes, I am so over that persona...Make her real with a backbone....

I like this story very much charlotte seems like a great person bit I have my doubts about leo. As a main charachter in this story I wasnt feelin him. Maybe you should come up with a more interesting one. sort of like a romantic rivalry over charlotte. Otherwise I really liked the story.

Leo's firm grip encased her arm enabling her from going anywhere.

en·a·ble (-nbl)

tr.v. en·a·bled, en·a·bling, en·a·bles

1.

a. To supply with the means, knowledge, or opportunity; make able: a hole in the fence that enabled us to watch; techniques that enable surgeons to open and repair the heart.

b. To make feasible or possible: funds that will enable construction of new schools.

2. To give legal power, capacity, or sanction to: a law enabling the new federal agency.

3. To make operational; activate: enabled the computer's modem; enable a nuclear warhead.

GRAMMAR!!!

"He'd drug her away"

Yet another writer on this site that believes in butchering the English language, look up the meaning of DRUG, the words you could have used were dragged or pulled her away.

"before her could" should be SHE not HER.

"enabling"- wrong word entirely.

"breast"- does she have one or 2 for her nipples to harden on?

"Yeah, sure. Hey Charlie, how's it going?"- in a sentence like that where a character is being addressed, there needs to be a comma before the name and after.

That's just some constructive criticism that you asked for.

Leo has no redeeming qualities whatsoever!

Man I am loving this story...continue to write. Please don't be like other writers that start a story and never finish it.

I so loved your introduction and the story is addictive please I need to read more.