All Comments on 'Love Old West Style'

I liked the overall feel and progression of this story. The characters were interesting, although their thought processes felt kind of abrupt and too literal. The switch in perspective was disjointed. I would recommend having larger blocks for each person, and possibly separating them with some sort of marker. Some of the grammar was a struggle, especially with pronouns. More detail interspersed through their interactions would help bring the setting to life.

The failure at grammar made it very difficult to read the story. By example, constantly changing from first person to second person to third person. I read about 10% and gave up.