Love On The Side

I.

Pierce, Maine is close to the shore but not on it. It's close to the highway too, but not on it. Pierce, Maine is close to the resorts but is not one of them. This is the way the five hundred twenty-one residents like it too. On this July morning Tillie Harding walked down the main street of Pierce just as she had every morning. Tillie graduated from Pierce high school and although she could have gone to the State University it never occurred to Tillie to do such a thing. Even more, had anyone ever mentioned the idea she would have shown no interest. From the day Tillie turned sixteen she had worked at Johnson's Pharmacy. Harry Johnson had once tried to convince Tillie to consider pharmacy school but she always told Harry that she wasn't interested and she really wasn't. It was Tillie's idea to stay in Pierce and see how things went. It had been two years since Tillie had graduated and as is true in all small towns there was not a person nor an event that missed Tillie's attention. But ask Tillie what was going on and she'd never confess to knowing a thing. It was for this reason that Tillie had gained a reputation for being a bit naïve. Tillie was a bit naïve and Tillie was a friend to everyone who ever walked through the door of Johnson's Pharmacy. In the years she had worked there Tillie had come to know, almost as if it were a second sense, pretty much what anyone wanted when they came in.

Every morning at almost exactly 8:30 Tillie walked down the center of Pierce on her way to work. Now to walk down the center of Pierce required only the time it took to live the dirt sidewalk just before the Spa Variety Store, pass by Harrison's Hardware and then back across the street to Johnson's Pharmacy. These three buildings were bounded by a street at each end, a couple of stop signs, the only thing to keep traffic, what there was of it, moving slowly, and it was good to keep your eyes open so you didn't miss the US Post Office sign, directly across from the hardware store which gave the only clue that you were in the town of Pierce. Across the street from the pharmacy was Larry's Service Station and Auto Body. Larry Gordon and his son, Larry jr., ran the station with the help of Marty Sloan, the best auto body man in the county, or so the people of Pierce contented and no one ever took them to task on this point so it never occurred to them that they could be wrong. As Tillie crossed the street, Marty yelled out to her, "Mornin' Tillie, you're lookin' mighty pretty this mornin'."

"Mornin' Marty, you're lookin' mighty pretty yourself." This was a standing joke between the two however for each the day did not start prior to that brief interchange. Nothing more was said as Tillie quickly entered the pharmacy and prepared for the day ahead. This is how things happened in Pierce and this is the way they liked it.

"Good morning Mr. Johnson," Tillie called as she came through the door. Arlen Johnson was a man sixty-six years old, widowed and both son's graduated from college and living in New York City. "You hear from Gary or Leon?" Tillie asked. These were Arlen Johnson's sons and even though he always said he had received letters from them in truth if it were not that he called them he would have known nothing of their lives.

"Yup, just heard from them and they're doing good," he lied.

"That's really nice," Tillie replied. Tillie knew his sons never called however she never let on and she always told him how happy she was to hear the good news. It was not in Tillie's nature to either judge anyone or do anything that might make them sad. Most people described Tillie as a happy go lucky woman who hadn't a care in the world and would never say a thing she thought might hurt anyone's feelings.

"Tillie?" Johnson called.

"Yes"

"The pharmacy truck is coming today, do you mind taking care of it for me?" Arlen Johnson always asked Tillie this question and Tillie always gave him the identical response.

"What time will they be here?" She'd ask. Now to the outside observer this conversation would quickly seem to be a repeating dream and wonder why the drama was replayed all the time. Then again, some people don't understand how small towns work.

"They'll be here at ten Tillie," he called back.

"Okay, I'll take care of it." This conversation was repeated a couple of times a week every week. In Pierce, Maine, many conversations were repeated a couple of times a week every week. For the people of Pierce, Maine this gave them a feeling of consistancy and a stability. For generations this had worked very well for the people of Pierce, Maine and they felt it was their legacy to be passed to the generations to come.

The pharmacy deliveryman came and left as he always did. Tillie placed the pharmaceuticals in their proper place and although it was probably not correct for her to do this no one ever questioned it. One day a state inspector came by the pharmacy and saw Tillie placing the various medicines in their proper place. He noticed how she carefully assured that each was exactly where it should be. The inspector knew prior to arriving that Johnson was the only registered pharmacist in Pierce however when he saw Tillie finish her task and lock the cabinet it never occurred to him that anything was wrong. Tillie has a mystique about her which frequently left people with the impression that whatever Tillie was doing she was doing correctly and that nothing she did was ever out of the usual. The inspector came and went lauding Mr. Johnson on his well-kept pharmacy in the process.

Tillie though a bit slow in her work was methodical and very accurate. Tillie never opened a single container, she only placed them on the shelves where they belonged. And even though Tillie had come to understand exactly how to fill many of the prescriptions which came in she never once asked to do it, possibly she knew it was not her job and possibly she didn't feel it necessary for her to do this. Still, Tillie seemed to know when someone's prescription was running low and would remind them when they came in, particularly if they were elderly. Now in a larger town Tillie's actions would have drawn attention and objection. In Pierce, Maine, Tillie's actions were correctly defined as her way of showing concern. Tillie loved the people and Pierce, Maine and the people of Pierce, Maine loved Tillie.

Every afternoon around three Larry Gordon, Jr. crossed the street to the pharmacy and bought a can of Coca-Cola. Larry Gordon, Jr. had never married and at least once a week he asked Tillie out for a date. Larry was ten years Tillie's senior however this fact was not seen as a problem in Pierce, Maine. "You're so sweet for asking Larry but I'm not ready to date anyone yet. Thank you anyway." In answering Larry, and anyone else who would occasionally ask her out, Tillie had a way of saying no that made the man feel he had been hugged and kissed by her.

As always Larry drank his coke in the store and chatted with Tillie. Larry always took the time to admire Tillie as well and although she never acknowledged the fact she never missed his appreciation. Tillie knew Larry respected her and considered him a very good friend. She had told Larry this many times and Larry had always responded how her saying that sounded like the kiss of death. Still, Tillie never discouraged Larry from continuing to ask, it made her feel good and she knew it made Larry feel good as well. For Tillie's part she had no intention of ever dating Larry as much as he was a friend to her. The again, in Tillie's life, everyone was a friend and no one was more.

Larry always took notice of what Tillie was wearing and Tillie could count on his complimenting her. Tillie sometimes thought if she wore jeans and a sweatshirt Larry would still compliment her. Tillie smiled to herself with this thought however her assumption was entirely correct.

"That's a really pretty dress you're wearing today Tillie, is it new?" Larry asked.

"Larry, when are you ever going to remember that you've complimented me on this dress a hundred times before?" When Tillie asked this question, as she always did, it was a question you didn't answer. It was a question to be asked another time on another day. Tillie's manner of dress varied little. In the summer she wore a loose cotton print dress, tied her hair back in a pony tail and never put on a bit of make-up. On those occasions when a stranger to the town stopped by the pharmacy the simplicity of Tillie's dress and manner combined with her native beauty and naiveté always intrigued the visitor as well as the native.

Every evening at six Arlen Johnson asked Tillie to close the shop for him and thirty minutes later Tillie had reconciled the day's receipts and secured the store. Just as she came to the store Tillie left it. She walked to the middle of the street and walked the few feet to the end of the block and back to the dirt sidewalk. Larry and Marty were almost always still working when Tillie left. When Tillie walked to the middle of the street both men watched her intently and Tillie always accommodated the men with a wink and a smile. Larry and Marty always argued over whom it really was that Tillie was winking at. Neither man ever believed it was he and neither man knew she winked at both and at neither.

Tillie lived only ten minutes from the center of town. She always walked to work regardless of the weather and never accepted the offered rides, except on those rare occasions when the weather was so bad people asked her why she even bothered to open the store. "Someone might need us," was the answer Tillie always gave and after a while no one ever asked because everyone knew.

Tillie lived with her mother in a house built just before the civil war. It was typical of many of the houses in Pierce, small, simple, practical. The house was always kept in good order either through the efforts of the two women or by the constant offers given by those who would suit Tillie in hopes of winning her attentions.

"I'm home mom!" Tillie called out as she went through the door of her house.

"Is that you dear?" Her mother asked, she asked this of her only child, the only person who ever asked such a question.

Tillie had a kind heart and so she always answered, "Yup, it's me mom."

"Did you have a good day dear?" Her mother asked. Their evening conversation always seemed to have the exact same set of questions and Tillie always answered in the same way. Anyone watching this ritual would think it was scripted but such are the ways in a small Maine town.

Tillie's father was killed when the logging truck he was driving jackknifed on an icy road and the logs rolled over the top of the cab killing him instantly. The entire town turned out for the funeral. That was six years ago and Tillie had never quite stopped her grieving and she visited the gravesite at least once a month, even during the winter, and left flowers with almost every visit.

II.

The next morning Tillie went about her daily ritual. It was a Friday. Even at that hour of the morning on this day it was already hot. Tillie could feel small beads of sweat on her forehead as she entered the pharmacy. As she headed toward the rear of the pharmacy she pulled on the string of the overhead fan to get the air moving in the store. It had never occurred to anyone that air-conditioning might help the store but then it never occurred to the customers that the store ever needed it. The pharmacy had been built in 1888 and had never been anything else. In the early 20th Century a soda fountain was added to the store and to this day it was still in use. It was part of Tillie's job to take care of the customers at the soda fountain.

Except that it was much hotter than usual this Friday was no different than any other Friday. Like Tillie, the people of Pierce kept to a routine. There was something safe about having a routine and in Pierce much of the time you knew who to expect in the pharmacy by what day of the week it was. Most of the people of Pierce who worked also worked on Saturday. When Sunday rolled around everything closed and everyone went to one of the town's three churches, St. Francis Catholic Church, the First Congregational Church and the Pierce Unitarian Church. The Catholic Church had the smallest congregation in the town, only about fifteen families belonged to the parish. The rest of the town's population was fairly evenly divided between the other two churches. The diocese had tried once to close the church claiming there were not enough families to support it. It took but a week for almost every family in Pierce to sign a petition claiming to be a member of the church. When the bishop saw a petition bearing the signatures of over one-hundred families claiming to be parishioners and supporting the church even though the bishop knew otherwise and even though that number was still too few to support the parish he decided that discretion in this matter was the wisest approach. Although there was some rivalry between the two Protestant churches, always good natured, the people of Pierce possessed and keen and strong sense of family whenever an "outsider" posed any sort of threat to anyone or anything in Pierce. On Sunday everyone went to church. Each church had a single service and everyone seemed to know who would be in attendance. Not everyone went, of course, and even in this conservative Yankee town it was accepted that there were people who went to church and people who did not. Most importantly, no one ever questioned what the people of the town did in their daily routine.

So on this particular Friday a number of the town's children came for a coke or an ice cream at the soda fountain of the pharmacy. Tillie knew them all however she was having trouble with their calling her ma'am. Tillie thought that word referred to people much older than herself however she realized that to the town's children she was much older than they were. For as much as the children would change their mind about what they wanted Tillie remained forever patient with them and in turn they all liked Tillie. The afternoon seemed to pass a little slower than normal. Tillie thought maybe the heat was keeping people inside and then she thought that the heat made her notice the time pass more than usual. Tillie looked up at the clock again, only fifteen minutes to go. She sighed with relief and started to put things away so she could close the store right on time. At five minutes before six Tillie heard the bell ring signaling they front door had opened. Tillie was behind the soda fountain when she saw a man in a suit coming towards the counter. Only a very few people in town ever wore a suit and Tillie knew every one of them. Tillie did not recognize him. He walked to the soda fountain counter and sat down on one of the stools. "I'd like a coke please," he said with an accent Tillie recognized as coming from Boston. Tillie stepped back from the counter after she placed a glass of coke and ice in front of him. Tillie looked at the man's hands, she noticed he wasn't wearing a wedding ring.

"What's the name of this town?" the man asked.

"What?" Tillie replied. Her mind had wandered and even though she had actually heard the question for some reason she briefly did not know the answer.

"When I came into town I didn't see any name."

"Oh, this is Johnson's drug store." Tillie replied.

"No, I mean the name of the town." He said with a smile on his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you're in Pierce."

The man looked pensively down at his coke that was almost gone. He looked slowly back up at Tillie and asked, "Where do people stay when they come to Pierce?"

Tillie considered the man's question for a moment before replying, "There's a bed and breakfast out on route one." Almost no one ever came to Pierce on business and on those occasions it was almost always someone well known to the town. This was not the case this time.

The man thought for a second and then said, "Is there a place right here in town?"

"I'm afraid not." Tillie answered. "There's a joke about Pierce. People say it's so small that the reason the town never built any sidewalks was because they couldn't afford to roll them up at night." Tillie laughed at the local joke. The man smiled broadly but did not laugh.

"Right or left?" the man asked.

"What do you mean?" Tillie asked in confusion.

"When I get to Route 1, do I turn right or left?"

"Oh, you turn left. It's only about a half-mile up on Route 1. You'll see it on your left. There's a large white sign out front."

"Thank you," the man said, smiled and placed a dollar bill on the counter. He got up slowly and walked from the store. Tillie watched him as he walked away. She hadn't noticed until he had gotten up how very handsome he was. Tillie thought for a moment how she might like to go out with him and then reminded herself that he had already come and gone, she'd never see him again. Tillie had surprised herself with these thoughts. On those rare occasions she had such thoughts they had always been for someone she was acquainted with and never for a stranger. Tillie decided she was being silly and pushed all such thoughts from her mind. She looked up at the clock, it was six fifteen. Tillie was surprised at how much time had passed. She quickly finished closing up the store and walked slowly home, as she always did, but this time she couldn't help get her mind off the man. Tillie scolded herself for having such thoughts and tried to think of something else, she was unable to do it until she got home and her routine there started.

"Hi mom, I'm home," Tillie called as she came through the door. The conversation started as it always had only this time Tillie felt she had some news to tell. "I met a man today momma."

"Did you now dear," her mother replied. "Was it that nice Clarke boy you always liked?"

"No momma and you know Joe Clarke is just a friend. This was a man I'd never seen before, he's from Boston."

"From Boston now is he?" Her mother replied.

"Well, I think he is. We didn't really talk but his voice sounded like he's from Boston. He was really handsome and smart looking too momma."

"What does he do dear?"

"I don't know momma, I didn't ask. He only stopped to have a coke."

"Well, don't you worry dear, you'll meet a nice young man some day soon and get married."

"I don't know momma, there isn't anyone in town who interests me."

"Just the same dear, you find one of the boys in Pierce interests you."

"Sure momma," Tillie agreed with her to end the conversation. As most parents do Tillie's mother was no different. She wanted Tillie to be happy and so she believed the sooner Tillie had a man in her life the happier she would be. Tillie knew her mother thought this but said nothing.

Later that evening Tillie's mother had a heart attack. Though the ambulance was quick to arrive and take her to the hospital in nearby Wiscasset her mother died en-route. Tillie could not afford a casket and proper burial however the townspeople cared so much for her that both were provided. Pierce, Maine is a very small town however you could not have told that by the turnout for the funeral. The town almost literally closed down that day and nearly everyone attended the services.

Tillie was Catholic which represented a rather small portion of the town's population however that did not keep people away from the service. Tillie was so well liked her religion didn't matter to the people. At the church service a high school girlfriend of Tillie's sat with her and cried with her. Tillie and Laura had not been really close friends however they had always been very friendly toward one another. Now Laura came to Tillie's aid and literally held her hand through the service and the burial. Laura stayed with Tillie at Tillie's house for the reception after the burial and helped Tillie clean up when the people had departed.